


Uprising

by mutschekiepchen



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Betrayal, F/M, Family, First Time, Mates, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-21 15:30:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 168,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutschekiepchen/pseuds/mutschekiepchen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five months have passed since Bella’s birthday party. The Cullens are gone, but Jasper returns, not knowing what to expect. New Moon AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Jasper POV

 

Time flew by fast. Days turned into weeks, then months and suddenly it was January. 

They say it’s like that when you’re having fun.

I wouldn’t know. I could hardly remember the last time I had any (real) fun. Figuratively speaking, of course. After all, as a vampire I was equipped with a perfect memory, which, in my opinion, was more of a curse than a blessing. There were things I’ve seen and done, I would gladly erase from my mind. But I couldn’t. I was forced to live with my memories, all of them, forever … or at least until someone would finally manage to get the better of me. Not to sound cocky or anything, but the odds of that ever happening were in fact rather slim.

Whatever …

Come to think of it, there was a moment, last spring, when we hunted down that tracker. Killing James, ripping him into pieces and setting him on fire - that was certainly enjoyable. Not that I took great pleasure in killing, not anymore at least, if ever, but back then I wanted to kill him thrice over. Not for pleasure, well okay maybe a little bit, but mostly to take vengeance. After all, James tried to kill a member of my family – a new one and a human to boot, but a member nonetheless. In my book, that was a good enough reason to take drastic measures.

No one was allowed to screw with my family.

Not even me.

Especially not me.

That’s why I left. And even though it pained me to stay away, I had no intention of ever returning. How could I? I was barely able to look at myself in the mirror, much less face my family.

Minor correction, my former family, or at least that’s what I assumed they were now. And rightly so, after what I did …

 

\+ + + + +

 

My mind was made up, but apparently Peter didn’t get the memo.

He cornered me one day in the woods behind the house, catching me completely off guard. Admittedly, that was quite the accomplishment considering I was an empath. I really should have seen, or rather felt it coming. But I didn’t. But then again, it wasn’t really a surprise. I’d been far too preoccupied with myself to notice that Peter’s patience had finally reached its limit.

Usually he tried to keep a tight lid on his feelings – mostly to spare me – but not right now. You didn’t have to be an empath to see that he was pissed. His face spoke volumes, not to mention his tone of voice and stance.

“Jasper, you know Char and I love you, and respect you, but enough is enough.” Typically Peter, never one to beat around the bush, he came straight to the point.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Nice try, Major.” He snorted, seeing right through my feeble attempt of deflection. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. If you are aiming for the Sourpuss-of-the-Year award, congratulations, it’s yours. Really, five months? That’s a new record. Just suck it up and grow some pairs.” 

“Yeah …” I grunted in agreement. Peter was right. It was about time that I pulled myself together. Spending the last five months moping around had been a waste of time, not to mention shamefully embarrassing since there had been witnesses. Not that Peter or Charlotte would rub it in. Not to hurt me on purpose anyway, but still showing weakness like that was … inexcusable.

“I know, you miss your old life … even though I will never understand why.” Peter said, with a shake of his head. I didn’t comment on his jibe. We’ve been over this a thousand times. I knew where he and his mate stood when it came to the Cullens. “But I get it. You’ve spent the last fifty years with them. They were your family, your anchor. And now that it’s gone, you feel lost.”

“True.” I agreed, even though it wasn’t necessary to say it out loud. “But maybe it’s for the best. Let’s face it. Someone like me had no place among them.”

“Maybe,” Peter allowed, though I could tell that he was itching to say something entirely different. Something like, I told you so. But he didn’t. “But even so, you need to say goodbye. You need to make amends. You need closure – once and for all.” He insisted in his usual ‘don’t you dare try and fight me on this, I know better anyway’ kind of way. And of course I gave in, like always, because I knew it was pointless to argue with Peter, especially when he was like that.

Peter sure was one of a kind. I wasn’t exactly certain what his gift was, or if he even had a gift to begin with, but he was certainly special in his own way.

“I just know things.” He said to me once, shrugging it off when I asked for details, clearly not willing to elucidate. Maybe he didn’t even know what his gift was. I’ve never pushed the matter, just accepted him and his crazy quirks. But sometimes he just freaked me out with his insightfulness, the innuendos he threw at me, reluctant to put them into plain words.

But then again I’ve always known I could trust him, without reservation, even when we had totally different opinions about things. He’d quickly become my best friend. No wonder, after all we’ve been through together. He was the only person who knew every detail of my life and accepted me for who I was, and vice versa. We were brothers in the every sense of the word, well, almost every.

“And you probably want to get some of your clothes and your personal items back.” He added as an afterthought.

Peter had a point. Not the part about my clothes. I couldn’t care less about them, because I could easily buy new ones. But when I left Forks, I left in such a hurry that I hadn’t been able to take any of my precious belongings with me. My guitar, my books, and the few reminders of my human life I’ve been able to hang on for all those years. Not only did I want them, I actually needed them back. And of course Peter knew this too.

I tried to tell him that I would be okay doing this trip on my own. But of course Peter had to disagree. “No fucking way. You are not ready to deal with them on your own.”

Even without saying their names, I knew he was talking about Alice and Edward – my lovely wife and my dear brother. I thought about objecting, but going by Peter’s persistent voice I knew that he wouldn’t budge on this. And to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure if I would be able handle the reunion all by myself. As short as it might be, it surely wouldn’t be pleasant. And Peter’s calming influence could turn out to be useful.

“Fine, be that way.” I grumbled. No need to sound too eager accepting his offer … well other than laying emphasis on my pathetic display.

Needless to say, Peter wasn’t fooled. He clapped me on the shoulder, chuckling as he walked back into the house.

 

\+ + + + +

 

A couple days later I sat on the porch in an old, but comfortable rocking chair, staring into space, once again lost in my thoughts. It was the night before our departure, and to be honest I was a bit nervous. Even after all the talking Peter, Char and I had done over the last days.

It was near dusk and still quite warm for the season. Not that it mattered, since my kind was pretty much impervious to temperature changes. But the warmth was still pleasant.

There was no need to look up, I could hear and feel Peter coming out to join me.

“We both should hunt before we leave tomorrow.” He announced, and I agreed, although I wasn’t really hungry. With a playful wink he added, “And of course, I need to say a proper goodbye to my wife. So please, take your time.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes at him. He just smirked and turned around, reentering the house. I didn’t linger, quickly making my escape into the nearby woods.

Peter’s and Charlotte’s relationship was very similar to Emmett’s and Rose’s, at least when it came down to the matter of sex. I was just glad that they at least were a little bit more understanding, more sympathetic to my current emotional state that they tried not to bother me too often with their lusty feelings. Hearing them was hard enough, but being able to sense and thus being forced to experience it myself, without actually experiencing it, was something I was so not in the mood for. Most of the times, I just took off leaving them alone in the house … for hours at the time, just to be safe. Just like now.

I didn’t take me long to find a herd of deer. With pinpoint precision I took down the biggest one, draining it quickly before getting rid of the carcass. Even though Peter and Charlotte were feeding on humans I stuck to the animal diet. Funny, I hadn’t even once slipped up in the last five months, although there was no one here to whom I had to prove myself ... well no one except me. Carlisle would be proud of me.

Carlisle.

I sat down on a tree stump, putting my head in my hands. Thinking about Carlisle brought back all the feelings of failure and disappointment right back to the surface. I’d tried very hard to bury the memories of that dreadful evening, the one event that had changed everything … Bella’s 18th birthday party. But to no use, every time I closed my eyes I could still see the horrified expressions on each and everyone’s face.

Esme, my mother, Carlisle, my father, Emmett, my brother, Rose, my sister – all of them had been shocked to the core. But the worst had been Edward and Alice. Besides the horror and disappointment, there was something else, underneath the surface. Something I couldn’t put my finger on … Disgust? Fear? Realization? I still wasn’t sure.

Why did Edward have to throw Bella into that table? Of course, I’d snapped. I just couldn’t help it. The magnitude of all the emotions had been too much, clouding my judgment, making it impossible to make rational decisions. I had acted on pure instinct.

Emmett and Rose had dragged me outside right after, trying their best to calm me down. And in a way it had worked, but not in the way they had expected. Sure, as soon as I had been out of the house, the fog had lifted, my mind had been clearer. Clear enough to make a decision. Sitting there on damp grass in the backyard of the huge white house I realized that I could never back in, never face any of them. It had been all too much for me to handle and I knew what I needed to do. So I took off, and ran.

Sure it hadn’t been the first time I’d screwed up but this time had been totally different. Draining a random human was one thing but when you try to kill a member of your own family – especially someone as innocent and lovely as Bella – then you undoubtedly were a monster. I just knew there was no way my family would forgive me for what I did. Hell, I couldn’t even forgive myself.

When I came here all these months ago, on foot by the way, I had been shaking like a leaf. Sure Edward had always been the fastest in the family, but that night I had run faster than ever before. Driven by the need of putting as much distance between them and me, I had made it to Arizona in record time. The feelings of anger and self-hatred had been rolling of me in waves. I hadn’t been able to get control of my own emotions. I’d really thought I might be losing my mind.

Of course, Peter had been happy to see me, considering that we had seen each other just a couple of times in the last decade, but as soon as he’d taken in my condition, he had shown nothing but concern and love. At that time I had been sure that his first thought had been that I had slipped up once again, but he hadn’t voiced it. One look into my eyes probably had answered that question. But gladly, as soon as I had been in his presence I finally had been able to calm down completely, and get a hold of myself and my feelings.

The next two weeks Peter and Char had kept their distance, giving me time to settle in. They hadn’t pushed me, hadn’t forced me to answer questions, they’d most certainly had. In fact, we had barely seen each other in those days. Peter had sensed that I’d needed time and had given it to me, for which I had been very grateful. But finally, after 16 days, he’d cracked and demanded an explanation for my sudden appearance on his doorstep.

I told him everything, from the first moment Bella had entered my life to the night I’d tried to kill her. He’d had been very patient and attentive, listening to my story without interrupting me once. Even when I told him that I‘d just took off shortly after the incident, he hadn’t commented.

I had been such a coward then, and I still was. Afraid to face my family. I hadn’t called them once in all these months, and what made it even worse they hadn’t tried to contact me either. I was pretty sure Alice knew exactly where I was, and she still hadn’t called. That fact just confirmed my suspicions. They all were still mad at me, disappointed in my behavior. And I couldn’t blame them, because I felt the same. But I knew that it was time to make things right, apologize to them and put the past behind me. Otherwise, I knew I wouldn’t be able to move forward. To wherever my future would take me...

With a sigh I stood up and slowly made my way back to the house.


	2. There’s no place like home

Jasper POV

 

The next morning we were on our way back to Forks, in Peter’s truck. He’d insisted on driving. I didn’t mind, because I was already so tense and nervous that I was pretty sure even with my perfect vampire skills I would have driven us into a tree at some point. Not that we would be harmed in any way, but Peter would certainly be pissed if I’d damaged the car in the process.

So, here I sat on the passenger seat, looking out the window as the scenery flew by. By this speed we would make it to Forks in just a few hours. I wished that he would take his time, but he wouldn’t have that. “My car, my rules.” But what he’d actually meant was ‘No need to put the inevitable on hold’.

The radio was on, some Country music was playing, but I ignored it. Once again I was lost in thought, like so often these days.

This time I tried to picture the reaction of each family member to my unexpected return. Even though I couldn’t be sure about it, I tried to believe that Carlisle and Esme would be able to forgive me for the whole ‘trying to eat their daughter’ incident, but maybe they wouldn’t be so forgiving about my sudden vanishing act afterwards and my silence ever since. But I was sure that they would give me at least the chance to explain and apologize for my erratic behavior. That’s what parents are for, right?

Emmett – my little brother. I was pretty sure he was still pissed about my behavior to some extent but he had never been one to hold grudges against anybody for long. But then again I knew he fiercely loved Bella. She was his little sister, and he was like her big, protective brother. One thing was for certain, he wouldn’t let me near her again which would be fine with me … like that was even a possibility I’d considered.

Rosalie – my dear sister. She had been the closest person in the family, next to Alice. And with the knowledge that she didn’t like Bella very much, she would most certainly be the only one in the family who would welcome me back with open arms. Well … I knew that it wouldn’t be exactly that easy, my disappearing act had probably enraged her more than anybody else in the family. But I truly missed her, and I would beg for her forgiveness. Even though I didn’t plan on staying, I would like to keep in touch with her and Emmett.

Well … that left only two more members of my family.

I couldn’t remember who had been angrier with me that night. Edward – because I had tried to kill his girlfriend or Alice – because I had tried to kill her best friend. Actually, with all the emotions going haywire in just a second it had been almost impossible for me to get a good read on any of them. Hate and fear, those two emotions had been the ones I remembered for the most part. And because I’d taken off almost immediately after the attack, I’d never gotten the chance to find out the source and the meaning behind the intensity of these particular feelings.

One thing was for sure though, Edward wouldn’t give a fuck if I came back or not, seeing that we’ve never been that close in all those years we’ve lived together. In his mind, I had never been nor would I ever be a true member of his family. It wouldn’t take a mind-reader or an empath to see the truth in that statement. Whenever I’d slipped up in the past, his opinion of me had been written all over his face. I was the weak link, a dangerous monster, unable to control myself … and the only reason he’d tolerated my presence had been Alice. Both of them always had been so close, like confidants or true siblings. Back then I’d wanted to stay so badly that I had done my best to ignore his aversion towards me and kept my mouth shut. But anyhow, whatever his problems with me were when we would meet again in a few hours I would try to be civil and apologize, but that would be about it though.

Alice – my mate, my wife. Truth be told, her reaction to my return was the one I feared the most. How could I make things right between us? Would she allow me to? Would I even want to? How was it possible that neither of us had tried to make contact with the other? The coward in me had hoped she would make the first move, but she hadn’t. What did that say about our relationship? Was I that disposable? Was she? After all this time we’d spent together?

What had I done? Was there even the slightest chance, that I could make it up to her after abandoning her like that? I’d acted like a true monster and a complete idiot, and now I had to pay the price. I started to begin to drown again in a mixture of self-pity and self-loathing.

What the fuck was wrong with me? I was a vampire for crying out loud! I was fucking Major Whitlock. God of War. And here I was sitting, nervous to go back and face my family. Since when was I such a pussy?

With a heavy sigh I sank deeper into the seat.

“What’s the matter?” Peter asked, speaking for the first time since we’ve left two hours ago. He was emanating true concern and curiosity, and a little bit of mischief. Weird combination, sure, but typical behavior for my brother, though.

“Geez, Peter. Sometimes I wonder if you’re an empath, too.” Or a fucking mind reader. God forbid!

Peter laughed, shaking his head. “You know I’m not. I just know you. And honestly, it’s hard to keep a level head with you projecting your emotions like that. I am sensing anger, hate, a lot of uncertainty ... and what makes me wonder ... a little fear?”

“I’m not afraid.” I growled at him. Of course, it was a lie, but there was no way I would admit that out load. But leave it to Peter, of course he saw right through my defensive behavior.

When he chuckled in response I glared at him, letting him know that I didn’t appreciate his taunting this time. My stare seemed to sober him up ... a little. But unfortunately, it didn’t stop him from responding. “Sure, you are. It’s only reasonable, though. I would be anxious too. Considering the circumstances ... the dreadful event of that night, the way you left, no contact whatsoever in the last five month ... of course, you are afraid. Not of them of course, because let’s face it, neither one of them would stand a chance against you and your fighting expertise. But you are afraid of how they will react to your sudden return, afraid of their emotions. And I get it, it will be hard. Especially for you. Being an empath and all.

“But just as I’d said before. You need to put this guilt behind you. You need to put the past behind you. Otherwise it will eat you up. Trust me you will get your chance to make amends.” Peter gave me a small smile, and then he diverted his eyes back to the road.

Somehow I got the feeling there was more to his statement, but I knew it would be pointless to push the issue. He probably would just deny it anyway.

“I hope you’re right. Even if I’m not going to stay with them any longer, at least I want to part ways rather as friends than as enemies.” I replied, sighing again. Hope is the last thing that dies. That’s the saying, wasn’t it?

“If you’re not going to stay… So, you haven’t made a decision yet, whether you’ll come back with me to Arizona?” Peter asked. He sounded more curious than concerned.

“Huh, actually, I don’t know yet.” I conceded. It was true. All I’d been thinking about was the upcoming meeting with my former family. I haven’t had the chance to make any further plans. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wouldn’t stay with them, no matter the outcome of our reunion.

Peter just nodded thoughtfully. For a few minutes he was silent, and then he spoke again. “Whatever you’ll decide will be fine with me. But just so you know, in my opinion a life like theirs isn’t the right kind of life for you. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t criticize their choice of diet. Not really. How could I? I can tell that you are doing so much better feeding of animals than humans. It might not be my choice, but it’s yours. And I’m proud of you. You’re still sticking to it – even though you don’t have to – which tells me that it’s what you want. And that’s okay. But the bottom line is it’s the only good thing that came out of the entire time you’ve spent with them.”

With an unmistakable look on his face Peter was daring me to contradict him. But I didn’t. I couldn’t, because he was right about everything. I’ve chosen to stay a vegetarian on my own free will not because I wanted to prove that I could do it my own but because I was sick of killing humans. And I would never return to that way of life again. Not if I could help it. But Peter was right about something else. After being away from them for so long, I’d realized that this family life with the Cullens wasn’t really what I’ve been looking for. Come to think of it, I’ve probably only stayed with them for so long because of Alice. In the beginning I thought I’ve found the love of my life – or rather existence – in Alice, and with the Cullens, the family I always wanted. I would have gone anywhere, done anything for Alice, just so I could be with her. She had been my life. But now I wasn’t so sure anymore.

Like he was reading my mind, Peter answered my thoughts. “I know that you loved Alice. Hell, you probably still do. And that’s okay. Sure, I don’t like her, but not because of who she is but because of what she has done to you.” I looked at him, astonished. He just rolled his eyes at me. “Oh, come on, man, that damn pixie did nothing but control you. Your whole life has been in her hands, every decision. Hell, she even fucking decided what you wear. And that’s just sick.”

I had to give it to him. Peter always spoke his mind, no sugar-coating the truth. That was one thing I loved about him. Charlotte was the same. Maybe that’s why they were so perfect for each other. No wonder they were the ones I’d fled to. I appreciated their sense of honesty. And having the truth thrown right in my face certainly helped me to finally see the truth.

Peter was right. Alice had dictated our relationship, and I’d allowed it. Out of love? Possibly, after all she had been my first love. But more likely because I hadn’t known any better. When we first met at that dinner in Philadelphia she’d had been exactly what I’d needed at the time. A glimpse of hope, a way out of my depression and she’s been all that and more. She’d helped me a lot, no doubt about that, and I would be forever grateful. But with the passing years our relationship hadn’t grown, it had changed. And into what? Into a farce – a puppet and its puppeteer.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I agreed lamely, not knowing what else to say. Peter didn’t comment, in fact he didn’t react in any way. And I was glad about that. For the next hours we drove in silence.

We’ve always been like that, able to enjoy each other’s company in utter silence. It was comforting, and right now it was exactly what I needed. But the closer we got to Forks the more anxious I became. I was glad that Peter was keeping his cool, thus allowing me to feed of his calmness to keep myself from losing it.

We were an hour outside of Forks when Peter broke finally the silence again. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”

“You know something, I don’t?” I asked, glancing at him.

“Of course, I do … not.” He grinned, knowing exactly what I was getting at. “And just so you know, I came with you to help you through this, to keep your emotions in check if need be. Not to be your babysitter.”

“I know.” I growled, slightly annoyed by his last sentence. “But, thank you.”

“What are friends for?” He said, shrugging and waving his hand dismissively, like him being here with me wasn’t a big deal at all. But I knew better. With his weird ability to shield himself from my gift, partially or not, he surely would be a viable asset – figuratively speaking, of course.

We drove the rest of the way mostly in silence. Once or twice Peter sensed that I needed a distraction, so he told me stories about him and Charlotte, about what they’d been up to in the past five years. We laughed a lot, and soon we were reveling in our own old memories ... just the good ones, of course.

 

\+ + + + + 

 

When we finally reached the road that led to the house, I could see right away that something was off. And I could sense it too. No one was in the vicinity. In fact, it was quite obvious that no one had been here for quite some time. The meadow around the house was overgrown with wildflowers and weeds. No way, Esme would allow that to happen … unless they had left town. I was stunned beyond speech when the reality hit me.

They left. But why? And when? Sure we’ve never stayed in one place for too long, a couple of years, maybe a decade, but this was too soon.

It made no sense at all. Why would they leave this place? I wasn’t here anymore. I left to make it easier for them. No more looking out for me and worrying about my lack of control around humans. Around Bella.

“No one is home.” Peter’s voice broke through my musing, stating the obvious.

“I know.” I mumbled absent-mindedly. Suddenly my nervousness was gone, replaced by a new feeling. The feeling of abandonment. It was numbing. I’d expected screaming, maybe even some fighting ... but this? Not in a million years.

Peter parked the truck right in front of the house. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. But knowing there was no reason to put it off any longer, I got out of the car and walked up the few stairs to the front door. For a moment there I thought about taking a turn around and just leave.

‘Coward!’ I chided myself. ‘No more running! Time to face the music ... well more like time to face the reality.’

I reminded myself why I was here in the first place. Okay, the Cullens were gone and I didn’t get the chance to apologize, but I still wanted to get my things. I doubted that Alice had taken anything with her. Unless to spite me …

I had to open the door with force, due to the lack of keys. I knew I would have to fix it before we would leave, but right now I couldn’t care less. I entered the house cautiously, taking in a deep breath. There was only a faint residue of their mingled scents left which meant that they must have left this place probably around the same time of my departure.

I was aware that Peter had joined me but I ignored his presence because I was too busy absorbing the evidence of their disappearance. There were barely any reminders left. Almost every piece of furniture in the living room was gone except for the couch and the coffee table, both covered with some white cloth … and what shocked me to no end, Edward’s piano. What the hell? He loved that stupid thing.

What the hell happened after I left?

Even though I was dreading it, I deliberately made my way upstairs, straight towards the room Alice and I had shared for the last two years. I stopped at the door, taking in another unnecessary breath. I was bracing myself for whatever I would find behind the closed door. Without any further delay I pushed the door open to find myself in a completely empty room. Sure, I’d expected as much, but seeing it with my own eyes shook me to the core.

They left. They left me. No goodbye. No note. No contact numbers. I was left behind, abandoned by the people who had once claimed to love me. My wife, my siblings, my parents. All gone.

I sank down to the floor in the middle of room, allowing my grief to consume me. If I were able to cry I surely would have cried like a baby.

“I’m sorry, brother.” I heard Peter whisper behind me, and I could tell that he truly meant it. No matter what he thought about the Cullens, and about my choice to join them all those decades ago, he did know how much they’d meant to me.

“Well. I guess I had it coming.” I sighed.

A wave of anger hit me. “Don’t you dare and start with this again!” Peter growled.

“But it is my fault.” I insisted, stubbornly.

“You don’t know why they left.” He countered. He was still mad, but trying hard to keep his emotions in check.

“True …” I agreed reluctantly.

“Well, look at the positive … at least now you know what they really think of you.” Peter said, giving me his trademark look – tilted head, raised eyebrows and a twitch at the corners of his lips. As always, well almost always, it had the desired effect, pulling me out of my emotional stupor.

“Yeah, right,” I snorted, jumped on my feet. “Come on, apparently there is no need for us to linger here longer than necessary. Let’s look for my stuff and get out of here.”

Peter rubbed his palms together, indicating his readiness to get to work. But on the way to the door he suddenly froze and his head snapped around towards the window. “Someone is coming.” He hissed.

I followed his gaze, and even though I couldn’t see anything yet, I could hear the sound of a truck, slowly coming down the path leading towards the house. It was a familiar sound. I knew this car. And I knew exactly who was riding it.


	3. Good to have you back, bro!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is divided into two parts. First a little insight into Peter’s mind before we go back to the present ... Enjoy!

Peter POV

 

It was late at night, around two in the morning actually. We’d just come back from having ‘dinner’ out in the nearest town, followed by our own version of having desert. I could still taste my mate’s passion on my lips. I glanced over to the couch, where my wife and mate Charlotte was sitting, reading some trashy magazine. I was more than ready for a repeat of what we’d done in the woods, but I didn’t make a move. There would be time for that later. After all, as vampires we had nothing but time. For the moment I was fine just sitting here in our living room, reading, simply enjoying each other’s company in complete silence. No noises but the sound of nature around us.

We always settled down as far away as possible from any human civilization, not out of necessity but because we preferred living in seclusion. Of course, over the years we’d managed to gain enough self-control to be able to stay closer to humans, but considering that we indeed were still a danger to them, it was still for the better to keep our distance … just in case. And besides, neither I nor Charlotte were the least bit interested in bonding with humans, so what would be the point in living next door to them. As far as I was concerned humans were only our natural food supply and nothing else. And my mama had taught me not to play with my food...

It has been ten years since we bought this house, here in the south of Arizona, fairly close to the Mexican border. We both loved the sunny states, especially in the winter month, so we usually came here around September and stayed until March before moving back north to one of our other residences there. Of course, Arizona was just our second choice. The urge to return to our home state, to Texas, was still very strong. But we both knew better. The moment we would enter her domain, our lives would be forfeited. We’ve been lucky to escape from Maria once, but I doubted that we would be successful a second time. Even with our fighting experience I didn’t want to put it to a test, and risking Charlotte’s life was clearly out of the question. Better safe than sorry. So, we kept on avoiding the one place we both simultaneously feared and loved. But then again, I had my mate, and that was all that I needed to be happy. And of course my freedom …

Wham … there it was again. For a split of a second I saw it. A single picture in my head.

“Jasper is coming.” I blurted out load. Charlotte’s head snapped up and her eyes met mine across the room. For a few seconds we just stared at each other, before the meaning of my words finally sank in.

“Yeah!” She practically squealed, radiating pure happiness and excitement. You didn’t need to be an empath to see that. “It’s about time.”

“You’re right about that.” I agreed lamely, still reeling from the after-effects of my peculiar gift. True, vampires couldn’t get headaches, but that pain in my head certainly felt like one. I shook it off, not wanting to worry my mate. “It’s been far too long.”

It was true. It has been more than five years since the last time we had seen each other. Not that I would admit it to his face, but I’d truly missed Jasper. As had Charlotte. The bond between us, all three of us for that matter, was deeper than any normal bond. Only second to the bond I shared with Charlotte. We were all connected through the same venom. We were more than friends, we were family. Too bad Jasper was too blind to realize it.

Charlotte straightened up, throwing the magazine on the table, and looking at me intently, like she was waiting for me to elaborate on what I knew. When I didn’t, she frowned. “Will SHE be coming too?”

I smirked at her. Charlotte probably loathed that little pixie more than me. “Don’t worry, my love. He will be on his own.” Apparently, I didn’t sound overly convincing. 

“I only hope he comes alone. No way will I allow that damn wife of his stay here too. Not after last time.”

I laughed at her grimace, remembering the last time Jasper brought Alice with him, on one of his very rare visits since he’d joined the Cullens.

“Like I said, he’s coming alone.” Of course, I couldn’t be a hundred percent certain about my assessment, and she knew this, but she didn’t argue, because she trusted me ... and my gift.

“Good.” She looked pleased, but then she shot me a quizzical look. “Wait a minute … He hasn’t called you, has he? I didn’t hear the phone. What’s going on, Peter?”

Busted. “No, he did not call me. But I got a message. He will be here very soon, probably tomorrow, maybe the day after.”

“Oh.” She said, understanding the hidden meaning. “Is he in trouble?”

“Probably.” I sighed. It was very unusual for Jasper to appear at our doorstep, without announcing his arrival in advance. Not that we would have a problem with that whatsoever, but since his alliance with his new family, he’d changed. And not only for the better.

Charlotte nodded, and got up. “I will have his room ready.”

“Thanks. I love you.”

“What are friends for? And Peter, I love you, too.” She said, leaning down to kiss my lips, before whizzing out of the living room to prepare the guest room for our brother’s visit.

 

\+ + + + +

 

It was two days later in the early morning hours, when I knew for certain that Jasper would arrive at our house that very same day.

I didn’t know what to expect exactly. I was no Alice after all. Thank God for small favors! I didn’t have premonitions like her and I was fucking glad about that. My power or gift, or whatever you wanna call it, didn’t work the same way as hers. Instead of the whole picture show she was experiencing, the only thing I got was one single image, popping right into my head … always out of the blue.

I didn’t take me very long to figure out that they weren’t always pictures of future events, but of the past as well. Most of the time, I didn’t pay much attention to them. As a vampire I could recall them at any time, whenever necessary. But unlike Alice I had no need to let this gift control my life. I knew it could be useful at times, but I didn’t need it to guide me and others through life. And most of the times that one single picture held all the information I needed.

Like two days ago, when the image of my dear brother popped into my head. I’d seen him sitting here with us in our living. The same flowers in the vase on the coffee table, still fresh, providing me with an approximate time frame for his arrival, the dress Charlotte would chose to wear that day … all of it telling me it was today and that it was indeed only Jasper. I saw no one else, just us three …

All those tiny details in just one single image, like a photo, giving me all the information I needed to know. No complete visions, just a picture for me to put the pieces together, to figure out the hidden meaning. It didn’t tell me why or even how Jasper would come here, only that he would.

So, I just sat down on the porch in one of the rocking chairs, and waited patiently. I’d sent Charlottes away, and she’d gone into town to do some shopping without even questioning my motives. Oh God, I loved that woman! I wasn’t completely sure why I wanted her out of here for the day. But my intuition told me, that it would be best if I would be here alone to greet Jasper. For him coming here out of the blue, no phone call, no text message … it could only mean one thing. Trouble.

As I sat there, I let my eyes wander from the road that led to the house over towards the tree line of the nearby woods. That was when I first saw him. Well, I had expected him to come alone, but I sure as hell hadn’t expected him to arrive on foot. On foot from Forks. Wow, he really had to be in trouble. I gasped at the sight of him. He looked like hell. Clothes dirty, hair disheveled … like he literally just had been to hell and back again.

‘What the fuck?’

I slowly stood up and walked down the stairs, but then stopped in my tracks. Even from this distance I could sense that his mood was even worse than his appearance. I knew from experience that it would be prudent to wait for him to come to me. Against the Major I wouldn’t stand a chance, and right this moment he looked like he was just a hair’s breadth from snapping.

He came closer, very slowly, almost cautious in his movement, like he was testing himself, checking if he was still in control. I knew this was bad sign. His whole body shivered, vibrating with emotions of rage and anger. But what surprised me was that these emotions were only directed at himself and not me or anybody else for the matter.

‘Fuck. He slipped up, again. After all this time ... Fuck!’

But as soon as he was close enough, I could see that I was wrong with my conclusion. His eyes were still golden. Prove of his weird choice of diet.

‘Oookay. No slip up. What then?’

I didn’t ask the question, because it was obvious to me that he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Not yet, anyway.

“Hey, Major. Welcome back.” I greeted him instead, letting him feel my concern and love. I knew that was all he needed right now, and quite obviously all he could handle. He visibly calmed down some and came closer, until he was right in front of me.

“Thanks, bro.” He whispered, and gave me quick, manly hug.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, glad that he didn’t shy away and let him towards the house. “Well, it looks like you could use a bath.”

He only mumbled a ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’, before he excused himself, retreating to the bathroom, and leaving me alone in the living room.

‘What the fuck happened to him?’

 

\+ + + + +

 

The next two weeks, I let him sulk around the house, giving him time. Charlotte kept her distance for most of the time, too, sensing that her presence would not make it easier for Jasper to open up. But finally, even I ran out of patience.

“It’s been two fucking weeks, man. Would you be so kind to tell me what the fuck is wrong?” I demanded, almost pleading. We both sat on the porch that day, both pretending to read a book. I knew that he wasn’t, because he’d been lingering on the same page for hours. I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, he was thinking so hard.

He turned to face me. I was glad to see him smile, for the first time since his arrival, but actually this kind of reaction pissed me off even further. What was so funny about my question?

“Calm down, Peter.” Jasper warned playfully, probably sensing my shift mood.

“Fuck you, Major. I want answers! Now!”

He grinned at me and I growled in response. But just as fast as mine, his mood changed, and he got very serious. “Okay. I’ll tell you. But promise me, that you let me finish before you say anything ... otherwise I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell you everything.”

I could sense his distress, so I nodded once in agreement, waving my hand, indicating that he should start.

Jasper took in an unnecessary breath, and then he began his tale. I listened patiently, restraining myself from making any comments. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The Cullens, the oh-so-perfect Cullens, had broken the one and only law that existed in our world – keeping our existence concealed from the humans. Okay, the human involved, this Bella chick, apparently had found out the truth by herself, but from what Jasper was telling me, none of the family, except for him and Rosalie, had done or said anything to prevent this from happening. And on top of it all, it had turned out that Bella was Edwards’s singer. What a disaster! This was almost like an episode of one of these stupid soap operas on TV, and I would have laughed if I didn’t know it better. This was bad, really bad.

When he came to the part of his story – the reason why he came here in the first place – Jasper got very still and tense. He blamed himself, of course, and from what I knew about his family, they all blamed him too, though some definitely more than others. But I knew better. Being in a house full of vampires, even if they claimed to be vegetarian, was very dangerous. And the girl must have known this. I had to admit even without knowing her, I admired her strength and the trust she obviously had in all of them. In my opinion this whole accident – and it was an accident – probably could have been prevented, if Edward had allowed Jasper more contact with Bella, so that they could have gotten to know each other and especially that Jasper could have gotten more used to her scent.

But what really pissed me off, was the fact that Alice hadn’t seen this coming. When she had been around us, she’d always acted like she was above us all, better than all of us, almost all-knowing. ‘Well omniscient my ass, you screwed up, pixie … in more ways than one.’

“Well ... that’s all. I just ran off.” Jasper finished, hanging his head.

“Hmmm. That’s quite the tale there, my friend. I’m sorry about all this. It’s really screwed up, to say the lease. But listen to me and listen good, because I’m only going to say this once. THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.” I emphasized each word, looking straight into his golden eyes. I could see that it would take more than just words to convince him of the truth. Maybe I wasn’t the right person at all, but at least I conveyed my sympathy and support, because he needed to hear it, even if he didn’t believe it. He needed to know, that I didn’t judge him. I never would.

Jasper just shrugged and went into the woods, hunting and probably sulking some more. I shook my head in exasperation, but let him be. I knew putting him together again would take some time. And I also knew that at some point he had to go back to his family, not to stay but to face them and say his piece. I would give him the time he needed, but I was ready to kick him in the butt, if he would take too long.

It took him almost five months, but we finally made our way to Forks.

 

\+ + + + + + + + + + + +

 

Bella POV (The same day Jasper and Peter go to Forks)

 

I looked at my alarm clock, and sighed. Another dawn, another day. It was only five in the morning, on a Saturday, nonetheless. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten a real good-night-sleep. Well, at least the nightmares weren’t so bad anymore. Those first two months after HE had left me, had been the worst months in my entire life. I still had problems to think about that time … not only because of HIM, and the throbbing pain in my chest that went with any memory of HIM, but also because of the way I’d acted around Charlie and my friends. My pain had become their pain, and I’d hated it. I’d hated myself that I’d made them suffer right along with me.

It had been like I had been there in body, but my mind had just shut down, keeping everything and everyone out, hoping it would be easier this way to deal with the agonizing pain. Funny as it may sound, the numbness had been keeping me sane … sort of. I’d walked through the days like a zombie, talking only when it had been unavoidable, eating only when I’d almost passed out from physical weakness. I had been a total mess. Inside and out.

The day when Renee came down here, had been the day I’d finally woken up. Charlie had been on the end of his ropes, thinking that a change of scenery would help me, making it easier to forget. That day I came home from school, to find both my parents packing up my stuff. At the sight I’d just snapped. I’d screamed, pulling my things right out of their hands, throwing them around my room … truly embarrassing, like a four-year-old throwing a hissy fit. But oddly, but it had the appropriate effect on me, on all of us. I’d finally cracked, cried for two days in a row, and at in the end I’d let it all out, opened up … to Renee at least. I’d talked about what had happened – of course leaving out the whole part about the Cullens being vampires. I’d talked about my feelings, my fears and my nightmares.

For the first time in my life, Renee actually had been the mother. She had been taking care of, comforting me, instead of the other way around. I had been so grateful. Charlie had kept his distance, being overly emotional just wasn’t his thing. But I was sure that Renee had talked to him, before she’d left. When she’d left, she’d stressed that if I should change my mind, I was welcome to stay with her and Phil in Jacksonville. I’d thanked her, but declined her offer, telling her it would be foolish to change school again with being so close to graduation and all that. Like that was the real reason...

It took some effort – taking into account everything that’s happened since my very first day in Forks – but somehow we’ve managed to settle back into our old lives. I wasn’t stupid, though. I knew that Charlie wasn’t completely fooled by my cool demeanor. Sure, I was better, but not entirely healed, far from it actually. But I was trying very hard. And my Dad was doing his part to help me, giving me space and time. And I loved him for that.

I could hear Charlie rummaging through the house, probably getting his fishing gear together. Like so many times in the past, he’d planned to go out fishing for the whole weekend with Billy and Harry. I was glad he had this to take his mind of things ... his mind of me and my problems.

And I had my own plans for today, anyway.

I got out of the bed and grabbed some sweatpants, a shirt and my toiletries, and made my way to the little bathroom down the hall between my bedroom and Charlie’s. After showering and brushing my teeth, I made my way downstairs into the kitchen to join Charlie for breakfast.

“Good morning, Bells. You’re up early. I didn’t wake you, did I?” Charlie asked, concerned and slightly embarrassed.

“Good morning, Dad. No, you didn’t wake me. Just couldn’t sleep anymore.” I replied, telling the truth but still managing to sound grumpy. It wasn’t hard to fake it, though, since I generally wasn’t a morning person. And to be honest, I was still tired. No surprise there, with the minimum of sleep I used to get these days. I pulled myself a cup of coffee and a granola bar, and sat down at the table.

“What are your plans for today? You know … I could stay here if you want me to.” He still wasn’t sure if I was really okay. Hell, even I didn’t know, but I was mending, slowly but surely …

“No way, Dad. You’ve been planning this trip for weeks. Billy and Harry will be mad, if you cancel on them at the last minute. Go, have fun. And bring home some fish for me to cook.” I encouraged him, smiling. I hoped it was a convincing smile, because I needed him out of the house, not keeping a sharp eye on my or asking questions about my whereabouts. “I’ll just hang around at house, doing some laundry, maybe driving to the library ...”

Luckily, Charlie seemed to be convinced. Or he was just too eager to get to his appointment. It was hard to tell, though in the end it didn’t matter, as long as he would be gone. “Alright, kiddo. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun.”

He got up and put the dirty dishes into the sink. And without another word he grabbed his bag by the door and made his way outside.

“Bye, Dad.” I called after him. When I heard him driving away, I let out a breath of deep-felt relief. I hated lying to him, but this time I deemed it necessary. Charlie would most certainly not approve off my plan ... my plan to visit the Cullen house one last time.

 

\+ + + + +

 

It was early in the afternoon, when I drove down the familiar road towards THEIR house, getting more anxious by the minute.

‘This is a bad idea. No, you need to do this, no chickening out now. Right, right … Great, now I’m arguing with myself. I’m a true nut job. No, you’re not. This is a necessary step forward … saying your last goodbye … even if THEY hadn’t had the decency to do that, you do. Right, I’m not a coward. I can do this. I need to do this. One final glance at the house … that’s all …’

I kept up with the inner pep talk for the rest of the way, and oddly it seemed to help me to keep it together. I had to slow down a bit at the last curve of the unpaved road leading to the house. I was concentrating hard on the road that I was almost at the house when I finally noticed the other truck parked in front.

My first reaction was shock. I nearly slammed my foot down the brakes, before I remembered that none of THEM used to own a car like that … a similar car like mine, only a newer model.

I took in a deep breath, trying to stop my hands from shaking. I wasn’t ready to deal with any surprises, or uncertainties.

‘It’s not HIM or any of the OTHERS.’ I told myself, sternly. ‘But who else can it be, then?’

I parked my truck behind the other vehicle, shut of the engine and got out. When I got close enough to the entrance, I gasped. The front door hung slightly off its hinges.

‘Oh, my god! Burglars. Shall I call Charlie? Damn it, I forgot my fucking cell phone. Quick, Bella, think of something …’

Before I could make up my mind, a tall figure appeared in the door frame. Unconsciously, I moved closer. When our eyes met, I finally recognized the person who stood not even ten feet from me on the front porch. My heart missed a beat, my breath got caught and my knees trembled.

Jasper.


	4. Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Jasper POV

 

‘Bella.’ I groaned, almost moaned, my shoulders slumping in defeat. I didn’t even have enough time to come to terms with the fact that THEY had left, and now this.

I’d come here prepared – more or less – to deal with the members of my former family. I’d gone through all the possibilities I could imagine, how they would react to my sudden return, but I hadn’t spared a thought about Bella, about what I would do or say if I would cross path with her again. I’d been dead certain that I would never see her again, because I was damn sure no one of my so called family would have allowed me to go near her ever again. A wise decision in my opinion. But there was also this nagging thought … this tingling, telling me otherwise, that she was the one I’d have to beg for forgiveness. 

But then, why should I even care? I barely knew her. She meant nothing to me. She was just a human, a human that had dared to interrupt the peace of my family, a human that was responsible for my leaving and the resulting consequences. In other words: she was a menace.

No, Bella wasn’t the guilty party here. How could I even think that about someone as selfless and loving as Bella? I might not know much about her, but whenever she’d been in my vicinity in the past all I’d sensed was this sheer endless capacity of love and trust in each and every one of us. And how had I repaid that trust? I’d betrayed her in the most malicious way there was.

I was the monster. I hadn’t been able to control myself. I had tried to kill her. It was all my fault.

Through all my inner musing, I hardly noticed that Peter was already on the move, on his way downstairs. Whatever Bella was doing here, I didn’t want her to feel threatened or alarmed, intentionally or otherwise, by neither one of us. Sure, I knew that Peter wouldn’t do anything, like hurting her, but she would probably be frightened by meeting a strange vampire, a strange vampire with red eyes. From her previous encounter with James and his coven she would have a hard time even considering the possibility that there were indeed other vampires – human-blood-drinkers – that did not necessarily imposed a threat to her. But she wouldn’t understand, not until I had a chance to explain, make her see reason. If she would let me, if she would be staying at all … after seeing me, that was.

Like seeing me first would reassure her, that she isn’t in any danger. Ha. Fat chance at that. Maybe, one glance at me and she’ll turn tail and run for her life. I could live with that …

But nevertheless, deep down I knew that I had to stop Peter. I quickly followed him out of my old room, and caught up with him at top of the staircase. I laid a hand on his arm, stopping him in his tracks. “I know who that is.” I said to him, reassuring him by sending him calming waves, that that someone was not here to cause any trouble. Or so I hoped.

Peter gave me a quizzical look, but then a knowing smile began to spread over his face. “Oh. I see. It’s her, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s Bella.” I confirmed, not even trying to fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. I’d barely ever talked about her in the past five months, but apparently the chance to meet the human responsible for all this mess, had triggered his curiosity once again. I could sense his unadulterated, almost childish excitement. Great, just what I needed.

“Well ... what are you waiting for?” He pushed, impatiently, enjoying this awkward situation far too much for my liking. “Aren’t you going to say hello?”

“Seems like I don’t have another choice ...” I grumbled, annoyed. I got the feeling that Peter was hoping to influence me with his anticipation, but I was too wrapped up in my own emotions of nervousness and uncertainty for it to have any effect on me this time.

“You aren’t afraid of her, are you, Major?” He asked, raising his eyebrows in question.

“Of course, not. She’s just a human.” I snorted, well aware that he was just baiting me, but still feeling the need to defend myself.

“That’s not what I meant. You are scared to face her.” He clarified, most of the humor gone, replaced by true concern and compassion. I appreciated his sympathy more than his taunting, and yet I couldn’t feed of it. I was too damn tense, and just a breath away from losing it.

“No, I’m not.” I snapped, knowing it was pointless. Peter could see right through me, again. Damn it.

“Liar.” He countered, calmly, not oblivious to my ever-increasing irritation but just deciding to ignore it. Maybe it was better this way …

“Fuck you, Peter. Okay … maybe I’m a little concerned about facing her. What am I supposed to say? ‘Sorry, Bella, for trying to kill you, I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me.’ Like that would work. And be honest, why should she forgive me? I tried to KILL her.” I almost yelled, my despair seeping through.

“Well, you might be surprised …” Peter mused, lost in his own thoughts. Whatever was going through his mind, I knew it wouldn’t do me any good to ask, because he probably wouldn’t share his knowledge with me anyway. What a fine friend he was …

“Yeah, yeah, whatever … besides, like I said, apparently I don’t have another choice.” I said, accepting the inevitable. “But I think it will be better if I go out first, alone. I’m not sure how she will react to you.” Probably the same way she will be reacting to me, I added in my mind.

“Fine with me. Sure you can handle it?” Peter mocked, with a huge grin on his face, receiving only a hostile glare from me as an answer. And honestly, as insulting as the question was, I had no answer to it. Would I be able to handle it? Could I really go out and face her? Without attacking her again?

‘One way to find out …’ I thought, feeling kinda bad for putting Bella’s life on the line, just to test a theory. My only comfort was that Peter was there and would be able to stop me in case I couldn’t behave myself. Well, hopefully …

I ignored Peter’s silent laughter and made my way downstairs. He followed right after me, but I knew he would heed my word and would stay out of sight, at least for the time being. I could hear Bella’s truck coming to a halt, the door of the driver’s side opening and closing, and then light footsteps. By that time I was already at the entrance door.

Why the fuck had she chosen this exact day to come here? Or did she come here on a regular basis? I doubted that. Maybe it was fate, and Peter always told me, you’d never be able to elude it … maybe temporarily but not forever. It would catch up with you eventually. But right now I was convinced it was just my damn bad luck. Like coming here to encounter that my family had cut all ties with me by leaving without telling me wasn’t enough. No, in addition to that now I had to deal with the one person who’d started all this mess in the first place … unintentionally or not.

I felt my anger rising again, but knowing that I had to keep it together for this to work out I did my best to rein those specific feelings. It took quite some effort, almost like physical exertion, but it was necessary. My rage would show in my eyes, and if I thought meeting a red-eyed vampire would be a bad idea, a black-eyed one would probably be even worse. At least the golden color of my eyes would provide her with some reassurance, telling her that I was still sticking to the Cullen diet … but then again it didn’t help much in the past, didn’t it?

Maybe it would be better for her to be scared of me. I could easily force her to leave and never come back. No, no, I wouldn’t do that on purpose, not after … I stopped that thought right in its tracks, shaking my head in order to clear my mind of the memories of our last encounter. At least for now, because I would never forget …

And how would I explain that to Peter? Even with him being out of sight he was still well within hearing range. He would kick my ass, if I deliberately screwed this up. And I owed Bella an apology, even if I didn’t deserve her forgiveness in return. Not that I expected to get that in the first place.

‘Oh, well … than let’s get it over with … the sooner the better …’

I took one last cautious step through the open front door onto the porch. I could see her and smell her. I was glad that this little reunion of ours took place outside since I wasn’t sure if I could handle being in a small room, so close to her, and to her scent … 

‘Stop it right there, buddy. Concentrate! You are not going to do the same mistake twice …’

As a precaution I stopped breathing altogether. Instead, I merely concentrated on reading her emotions. It was odd, but Bella’s emotions were overlapping … so many at once … shock, concern, anger, curiosity, fear, confusion … she was shifting through all them too quickly to pinpoint her actual emotional state. I could see the worried frown on her face as she was ascertaining the situation, her eyes wandering from Peter’s truck over to the house. I was sure that she could see me standing here, but there was no recognition, not at first. Apparently Bella couldn’t see me as clearly as I could see her.

‘Vampire versus human senses …’ I reminded myself.

I took one final step out of the shadows, keeping my eyes locked on hers the whole time, carefully monitoring her emotions and reactions.

Bella took one last watchful step forward herself, and then she froze. Her heart skipped a beat, and she was holding her breath, her eyes widening. Was it fear? Or just shock? I wasn’t sure. And there was also a faint glimmer of hope. What the hell was that supposed to mean? I was truly confused. I couldn’t make head or tails out of Bella’s emotions. For a few silent seconds we just stood there looking at each other.

Not sure what to say, I decided to just give her what I hoped was a reassuring smile thus telling her that I meant her no harm. I was sure I looked like an idiot, hell I was feeling like one too.

“Jas..Jasper?” Bella stuttered, apparently not yet sure whether or not to believe her eyes. I only nodded in answer.

I thought of a nice opening line, but came up with nothing. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, it hit me. Why in the hell was Bella still here, when Cullens were gone, when HE was gone? That made no sense to me at all. Did they break up? But why? I knew HE loved her, and that she loved him. But before I could voice any of my questions, I sensed a sudden change in Bella’s emotional state. Only seconds ago there had been mainly shock, uncertainty and curiosity, but now the only emotion I got from her was anger … pure, unadulterated anger. The force of it almost brought me to my knees. I couldn’t remember the last time I experienced that amount of anger being directed at me. It put the feelings of hate Edward had thrown at me at her birthday party to shame. I’ve never encountered a human with the capacity of feeling anything like that, at least not to that extent. I was completely stunned, frozen in shock.

Maybe that was why her next action took me – a vampire for God’s sake – totally off guard. Bella swiftly closed the remaining distance between us, literally throwing herself at me. For a fracture of a second I thought she was going to hug me, but considering her still growing anger, I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t. Instead, she began to hit my chest with her tiny, fragile fists … over and over again.

Of course, she couldn’t hurt me, but I was concerned that she was going to hurt herself. Oddly, it didn’t even matter that she was suddenly that close to me. I was way too occupied to understand her behavior. I tried to send her calming waves, but they didn’t seem to affect her, almost like her anger was blocking my power. I stood still, allowing her to use me as a punching bag. Hell, I knew I deserved it. In fact, I was wishing I could actually feel the physical pain, but then the next words out of her mouth managed to cut me deeper than any knife could have … if it were possible.

“I hate you.” She cried, still beating at my chest, but her motions became weaker. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. Bella began to cry, trembling uncontrollably.

“Bella, I’m so sorry …” I whispered into her hair, trying to soothe her with words. I still thought I sounded pathetic, but I didn’t know what else to do. She finally stopped her physical attack, sacking against my chest. I automatically pulled my arms around her, holding her close to me. I could feel it. Bella was in so much pain, too much for her tiny, fragile, human body. Between her sobs, I could only make out single words. “Why … left … alone … gone … hate … why …”

But then, just as sudden as it had started, the onslaught stopped. I couldn’t sense anything from Bella anymore. Of course, she was still breathing, her heart was still beating, but I had no excess to her emotions anymore. She went limp in my arms, and her legs gave out. Oh my God! She had lost consciousness. We both sank to the ground. Of course, I easily could have held us both up, if I hadn’t been so overwhelmed by the sudden void of emotions. First the intensity of her emotions and then the total absence … I just wasn’t prepared.

I sat on the ground holding her gently in my arms, when I could hear Peter coming closer. “Let’s get her inside, on the couch.” The tone of his voice spoke volumes. Of course, he’d heard everything, and surely had watched. He was mad. But he was also radiating a great amount of concern and sorrow, and somehow I knew it was meant for the both of us. I still couldn’t speak, so I just conveyed my agreement with a nod.

I swiftly got up, pulling Bella into my arms and carrying her bridal-style into the house. I laid her gently on the couch, still covered with the white cloth. I sat down on the edge, not able to take my eyes off of her.

She still looked the same … long, brown hair, pale skin, nice body … Wow where did that come from? Well, it was true, but certainly inappropriate. I pushed those thoughts aside … for now. Alright, Bella hasn’t changed a lot … to the human eye perhaps. But I could see the little differences. She had lost some weight, and there were dark shadows underneath her eyes. Was she on a diet or simply not eating enough? Did she not sleep well? Was I responsible for this? Crap, what have I done?

Just before my mood could plummet any further, Peter interrupted my train of thoughts. “What the hell just happened out there?”

“I don’t know …” I mumbled, not sure what to say. “I guess she’d been keeping all the anger and pain about what happened on her birthday bottled up inside of her … and seeing me must have triggered the release.” I felt so bad about forcing her to relive that day again.

“Hmm, I’m not so sure.” Peter mused.

I jerked my head up and glared at him in astonishment. “What do you mean? Didn’t you hear her? She hates me. And she has every right to feel that way.” I seethed, my anger spiking again.

“Yes, I did hear and see everything.” Peter replied evenly. “You need to calm down, Jasper. You are affecting her.”

I followed Peter’s gaze, and saw what he meant. Damn it, I was projecting my feelings. Bella’s breathing had become erratic, and there was a frown on her face. But she was still out, though. I took in a deep, yet unnecessary breath, in an attempt to calm myself. It didn’t work right away. I had to repeat the motion a couple of times, before it had the desired effect on both of us. I exhaled loudly, when Bella’s breathing went back to normal and her features relaxed. ‘Good.’ I thought and turned back to Peter.

“Please, explain.” I demanded as nicely as possible.

Peter sat down on a nearby chair. “As I was saying … I’m not so sure that all her anger and hate was directed at you. Hell, you both haven’t even had a chance to talk yet. Really talk, I mean. You make assumptions without having all the facts, my friend. True, she might really hate you, and you might think that you deserve it. But from what I know about sleeping beauty over there,” he nodded towards Bella, “she will let you explain and apologize. You’ll both get the answers you seek. Just try to be civil and patient.” Peter said, smirking at me.

I scowled at him, but kept my mouth shut. Responding to his jibe would only end in another shouting match, which was certainly not a good idea. I had to give to him, though. Peter was good with words, and apparently far more perceptive than I was. I might be an empath, but sometimes the finer details just eluded me. He was right. What did I know? Nothing. Maybe she hated me, and only me. But maybe there was more to her intense feeling of resentment. After all the whole Cullen coven had abandoned her.

‘Well, it looks like we have one thing in common.’


	5. Not what I’d expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter some questions will be answered, for Bella as well as Jasper. Rest assured it will be a bumpy ride for both of them. But thank God, Peter is there to pick up the pieces … ;-)
> 
>  
> 
> This is a split POV chapter again, giving some more insight into Bella’s mind as well as Peter’s.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Jasper POV

 

‘Just try to be civil and patient. Great advice there, Peter! Easy for you to say, you are not an empath … you are not the one responsible for ruining this poor girl’s life … Ahh, grap. Stop whining, Major! Get a grip. You have to keep it together … If not for yourself, at least for Bella …’

I knew I had to keep my own emotions in check in order to accomplish this goal. But only remembering how Bella had reacted earlier … the sudden intensity of her emotions … I couldn’t suppress a shudder running down my spine. Of course, her physical strength was nothing compared to mine, but the sheer force of her emotions alone had the power to incapacitate me. This just wasn’t something I had been prepared for, not now, or ever. Under different circumstances I would be impressed, but not so much right now. As hard as it was but I had to admit it, if only to myself. For the first time in a very, very long time I was scared … scared of a mere human.

‘Hmm … Life is funny …’

Again I let my eyes wander over Bella’s unconscious body. She was tiny compared to me, but of average height for a girl her age, I guessed. She almost looked peaceful, lying there on the couch, like she was actually asleep. But I knew that she wasn’t. Even though I have never been to medical school like Carlisle and Edward, I’ve read a lot of medical books over the years to know for sure that Bella was indeed unconscious. And because I could hear her steady heartbeat and see her chest heaving regularly with every breath, I assumed she was okay-ish. The only thing that had me worried was the total lack of her emotions. It felt like she wasn’t really there. Like an empty vessel, a shell … I have never met anybody who was able to shield himself from my gift so completely. Sure, Peter was capable to conceal his emotions to some extent, but never entirely. With time I’d learned to appreciate this weird ability of his, because in situations like these it was helpful to have someone around making it possible for me to keep my own emotions in check.

‘Maybe that has something to do with her ability to protect herself from Edward’s gift …’ I mused.

In my peripheral vision I could see Peter getting up. I turned to face him. “Where are you going?” I asked him, rather harshly.

“No need for you to panic, bro. I’m not leaving. I’m just going to see if they left something to drink for your friend.” He chuckled, making his way straight into the kitchen.

I heard him laugh lightly. It actually was funny to have a kitchen at all in a house owned by vampires considering that we never dinned inside, but in order to live around humans we had to put up with some necessary charades. That meant, even though we had no use for it, every house the Cullens owned had fully functional bathrooms and fully furnished kitchens. What a waste of space … although, it had come in handy once Bella had stumbled into our lives. I could recall all those times Esme had cooked dinner for Bella in that kitchen; sometimes they had even cooked together. Oddly, they both had seemed to enjoy this activity very much …

‘Happier times …’ I sighed mentally. Then it hit me. ‘Has Peter just called Bella my friend? That’s just hilarious …’

I was pretty certain I’d blown that chance a long time ago. True, we’ve never really had the opportunity to get to know each other and build some kind of relationship, even before the dreadful incident on her last birthday. To be fair, it hasn’t been all due to Edwards’s interference, though. I’d agreed with him. It had been the best decision at the time, keeping my distance, considering I was indeed the weakest link of the family. But then again, it wasn’t like I hadn’t had any interest in getting to know Bella better, especially when she’d meant so much to Alice. It had made me a little curious how a mere human girl of barely eighteen years had enthralled my wife so completely, well not only her but the entire family … apart from Rosalie maybe. But even my dear sister hadn’t been totally immune to Bella’s charm, although she’d kept it well hidden … from everyone but me.

But despite my certain interest in the human girl I’d always put Bella’s safety first. Better safe than sorry, right? Even when we had been hiding out in that small hotel room in Phoenix for days – the first time we had been alone, well without Edward hovering over her to be precise – I hadn’t taken the chance to get to know her better, because all I had been able to think about was keeping Bella safe from James … and maybe unconsciously also safe from myself.

“You’re worth it,” I’d told her once and I’d truly meant it. She had no idea what kind of impact she’d made on the entire family. She’d unknowingly given each one of us some piece of humanity back. Bella was an angel, so innocent and pure … and I had to blow it, by letting my monster take control of me.

‘Well, what’s done is done. Now I have the chance to apologize and …’ I reminded myself, taking comfort in that thought.

I heard Peter rummaging through the kitchen cupboards, on his ridiculous mission to find something edible for Bella. Just when I thought that he would come back empty handed, I heard and felt his victory. “Yeah … I knew it.” His childlike excitement even brought a smile to my face.

He stood in the kitchen entry, holding a bottle of water in his right hand, grinning at me. “I think they forget to clean out the kitchen properly. There are even some bags of crackers left … you know, in case Bella is hungry, when she wakes up.”

Right on the cue, I felt a change in the atmosphere. A new set of emotions found its way into my consciousness. Bella was finally coming around. I snapped my head around and gave my full attention to the girl, concentrating on her emotions, while working hard on keeping my own in check. For the moment Peter remained where he was, out of Bella’s line of sight. He was radiating nothing but peace and serenity, allowing me to feed of it.

“Thank you.” I whispered low enough for only him to hear, sending my gratitude along with my words.

“You’re welcome, brother.” Peter replied, sounding almost detached but I knew that he wasn’t. Underneath his composed attitude I could feel his curiosity but also a small amount of apprehension. I guessed he was worried for both of us.

Bella’s lids fluttered and a slight moan escaped her lips, before she slowly opened her eyes. She blinked twice and then her brown eyes met my golden ones. A tiny, almost undetectable smile was playing around her mouth. This was an unsuspected reaction. Bella was feeling … happy?

‘What the fuck?’

This emotion didn’t make any sense, especially not after what just happened outside. Why in the hell would Bella be happy to see me now? Only minutes ago she had told me that she hated me. And I’d believed her and didn’t begrudge her for feeling that way. It was her prerogative, after what I had done. I was utterly confused, but I composed myself as best as I could, in order to keep my main focus on Bella’s emotions.

“Jasper,” she croaked.

I didn’t respond in any way. I just watched her in silence as she propped herself up on her tiny elbows, taking a wary look around. Her emotions shifted again. A slight frown appeared on her face, and then a wave of sadness hit me. This emotion I could identify with. Seeing the Cullen house this empty, this lifeless (no pun intended) was unsettling … on so many levels. At least that answered one of my earlier questions. She hadn’t been here since they had left otherwise this wouldn’t have such a strong effect on her now.

Bella wasn’t saying anything else, but I could see that she was silently struggling to keep it together. Whatever was going through her head was driving her slowly but steadily crazy. Her heartbeat sped up, her breathing became unsteady and she started sweating.

She was having a panic attack …

 

\+ + + + + + + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

There was darkness, nothing but darkness. I could feel absolutely … nothing. It wasn’t unpleasant, not at all, almost … peaceful, and yet it felt somehow wrong. As much as I enjoyed this peculiar state, deep down I knew that I had to return and face reality eventually. I already felt something tugging at my mind, telling me it was time to wake up.

Slowly, almost carefully I made my way out of the void. I could feel softness underneath me, not the hard soil I’d expected to find. Hadn’t I just been outside of the Cullen mansion? What the hell?

When I opened my eyes I stared right into the most beautiful eyes I’d seen in months. I wanted to bask in the familiar color of gold, so warm and comforting. It felt like coming home.

“Jasper,” I breathed. My voice sounded hoarse, like I’d been asleep for hours. I was confused. How long had I been out? I propped up on my elbows and took a cautious but curious look around. I could make out the familiar shape of a room. I was in the Cullen’s living room. But something was different. It was so empty … and cold. Vacant, abandoned … like me. Sadness began to spread through me. But before it could consume me, I remembered Jasper’s gift.

‘Empath … Damn it. Get a grip, Bella! Don’t even go there … he doesn’t need to feel your pain …’ I scolded myself. ‘I won’t do the same thing to him I’d done to my family and friends. I am not that person anymore … Just breathe, and stay calm. Just breathe, and stay calm. There is nothing to be nervous about, it’s just Jasper. Just Jasper … But what if he isn’t here on his own. What if the rest of them are here too? Including HIM? No, please … tell me HE isn’t here. I cannot handle this … I’m not ready …’

Despite my earlier efforts to remain calm I was working myself right into a full blown panic attack. My head was spinning. My heart was racing. I couldn’t breathe. But just before I completely lost it, I felt powerful waves of calm and peace washing over me. I didn’t fight it, no, I actually welcomed it. I took in a deep breath of relief and smiled at Jasper. I knew that it had been him. Of course I knew, having experienced Jasper’s incredible gift before. And even though I still had a million questions, I was grateful for his help.

“Thank you, Jasper.” I murmured, knowing he would be able to hear it nonetheless thanks to his perfect hearing. I moved my body into a sitting position, facing Jasper. There was a confused expression on his beautiful face, which made me wonder.

But before I could voice any question at all, my eyes drifted over Jasper’s shoulder, and I could see a man standing like a statue in the entryway to the kitchen. I tensed for a second, because I was surprised to find out that Jasper was indeed not alone here. I didn’t recognize this person, but even with my limited human eyesight I could see that this man was indeed another vampire. He was almost as tall as Jasper but more built like Emmett. Brown locks framed his beautiful face and his eyes were fixed on mine … eyes that were not the same color of gold I’d come so accustomed to. They were blood red.

‘That’s … weird. What does it mean?’ I wondered, keeping my eyes on the stranger. Strangely, I was more confused than frightened. Although, all things considered, it wasn’t much of a surprise. ‘Who hangs around vampires on a regular basis and on their own free will? Only crazy people like me …’

The strange vampire smiled at me in an odd but reassuring sort of way, like he was trying to tell me without words that he meant me no harm. My answering smile was small and timid. I was pretty sure he didn’t mean me any harm. If so, he would have attacked me already, wouldn’t he? He seemed to be different, sure. But could I really trust him? He could easily be like James, all sneaky and evil, prone to play games …

All of a sudden a low, but menacing growl broke through my musing effectively breaking the connection between me and the stranger. His head snapped up, and a frown replaced his former smile. He still looked otherworldly beautiful, though. ‘Damn vampires.’

“Bella.” Jasper called my name, in a way that left me no other choice but to give him my undivided attention.

“What?” I asked, confused, and to be honest slightly annoyed. There was something in Jasper’s voice that got my hackles up. He’d just sounded like a father scolding his child … for misbehaving or something. I didn’t get it. What have I done wrong?

Jasper’s beautiful face turned into a grimace. I was taken aback. I didn’t like this look on his face. It didn’t scare me, but he looked like he was actually in pain.

“Jasper, what’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried. I had no idea what I had done to cause this reaction.

“Yeah, Jasper. What’s wrong?” The other vampire spoke up for the first time. His voice was deep, but somehow melodic too … similar to the voices of all the others of his kind I’d met. But the most interesting fact was how much his sound of voice reflected my feelings. Apparently he was just as annoyed as I was. “Quit being such a jerk and answer the lady’s question.”

I couldn’t help but snigger at his words. No one has ever called me a lady. And I could have sworn that he’d winked at me. ‘What’s this guy up to?’

Again, Jasper’s response was a complete surprise. He groaned in … exasperation? What the hell was his problem? I couldn’t make heads or tails of Jasper’s behavior. In fact he was starting to really piss me off. If he’d thought meeting this strange friend of his was a bad idea, why in fuck had he brought me in here in the first place?

Obviously, the other vampire had enough of Jasper’s behavior as well and took things into his own hands. I watched him with interest as he made his way over towards the couch, walking very slowly … like he wasn’t just testing my reaction but Jasper’s as well. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Jasper was clenching and unclenching his fists. He was tense, very tense. But he didn’t make a move to stop his friend nor did he say anything. I decided to just ignore Jasper.

When the stranger was right in front of me, he stopped and held out his right hand. “Hi, I’m Peter.”

I smiled up at him, and laid my hand into his. The cold of his skin didn’t bother me, because it wasn’t new to me, but I still felt a slight tingle running down my spine. “Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Bella.”

I’d expected that he would just shake my hand, but instead he bent down, very slowly, his eyes never leaving mine the whole time, and then he placed a gentle, chivalrous kiss on the backside of my hand. My heartbeat sped up again, not out of fear, but because this kind of old-fashioned manner did completely take me off guard. I’ve seen it a thousand times in film, but never experienced it myself.

I liked it.

 

\+ + + + + + + + + +

 

Peter POV

 

I’d watched the interaction between Jasper and Bella in silence for a while, but I finally had enough. I knew the human girl wasn’t afraid of neither one of us because I would have been able to smell her fear even a mile away. I truly had to give to her. For being indeed just a mere human she sure didn’t react as the rest of her kind. Bella was brave and frank, actually nothing like the person I’d expected to find after what Jasper had told me about her. Maybe she just had no sense of self-preservation, but even so, I could already tell that I liked her.

“What’s going on?” I heard Bella asking Jasper, her tone of voice was matching my own feelings. She was annoyed by his behavior and so was I.

‘What is your problem, dude? Just talk to her …’

From my position I couldn’t see Jasper’s face, but I could tell from his attitude and his stance that he was mostly confused and maybe a bit disappointed by the situation. But why? Didn’t he like Bella’s calm and composed reaction to my presence? Or was he thinking that I would snap at any moment? Like that was ever going to happen. Sure Bella smelled nice, but that’s about it. To me she smelled like every other human, not overly tempting just nice. Not that it mattered, I wasn’t hungry right now. But even if I were, now that I’ve met this incredible girl, I knew that I would never hurt her. I felt drawn to her in a way that was … inexplicable but also irrefutable. She intrigued me.

In my opinion the only reason why the Cullens had such a tough time being in her presence was due to their self-imposed abstinence from their natural food source. As honorable as their choice might be, it was a stupid step to choose to live among one’s prey. Nobody would be strong enough to withstand the temptation forever … we were predators after all.

“Jasper, what’s wrong?” Bella asked. I wasn’t sure, since I still couldn’t his face, but I was pretty certain that it was Jasper’s facial expression that had gotten her worried.

That was it. I had enough of his attitude.

“Yeah, Jasper. What’s wrong?” I didn’t only mimic Bella’s exact words, but emphasizing them. At this point it was obvious that he needed an intervention. I tried to convey my emotions, telling Jasper that I was okay, that she was in no danger whatsoever – at least not from me – but somehow it didn’t work. “Quit being such a jerk and answer the lady’s question.”

I was a bit surprised to hear Bella giggle, but I liked it and showed my appreciation by winking at her. I chose to use her amusement to make my point. Jasper needed to pull his head out of his ass and man up. But apparently our combined humor didn’t have the desired effect, going by Jasper’s groan of exasperation.

‘Oh come on man, get a grip …’

I couldn’t take it anymore. If he was going to act like an asshole, so be it. I had been raised to be a gentleman who knew how to behave himself in the company of a lady. I cautiously but deliberately made my way over to the couch, ignoring Jasper’s warning growl. Bella watched me intently, her eyes never leaving mine. There was not even a hint of fear in them, only curiosity. That was a good sign, and I knew that I could use that reaction to my advantage, because Jasper would feel it, too.

I stopped right in front of the human girl and held my hand out. “Hi, I’m Peter.”

Her answering smile was shy, but still dazzling, and without any further delay she grabbed my hand. I detected a small shiver, but I knew it was only due to the difference in our body temperatures. “Nice to meet you, Peter. I’m Bella.” She introduced herself, very politely.

At first, I intended just to shake her hand, but then inspiration hit me. It was a stupid move, and I knew it. But I wanted to push Jasper – just a little further – forcing some kind of reaction out of him. And I was from Texas, after all. I bent my head very slowly, keeping my eyes fixed on Bella’s brown ones to monitor her signs, and then I laid a soft, very chaste kiss on her hand.

“The pleasure is all mine,” I said, grinning at her.

Bella was just going to reply something, when I first felt a tidal wave of hatred hitting me, and then I was flying through the room, hitting the wall at the far end with such a force, that the material cracked under the force of the impact. I heard a loud snarl coming from Jasper, and a shriek of terror from Bella. I slowly stood up, but didn’t move forward. Jasper was crouched in a defensive position in front of Bella, who had left her sitting position on the couch. She stared at me in horror, and concern.

I hold my hands up in surrender, thus showing Jasper that I wasn’t going to do anything. He was in full Major-mode now and I knew it would be foolish of me to antagonize him further. He would shred me into pieces. But Bella didn’t seem to be aware of the danger. She stepped around Jasper and glared at him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Jasper? Peter wasn’t going to hurt me.” Bella snapped at Jasper. She was shaking with anger … and fear. This wasn’t good.

“Bella … how can you be sure of that? You don’t even know this guy.” He shot back, remaining in his crouched position. I could tell that he was very close to lose his control. I tried to send him some calm, but he was once again too wrapped up in his own feelings. I could see that it had no effect on him whatsoever. He was feeding of Bella’s emotions, her anger and fear.

‘Crap … this is going to end bad if I don’t do something … and fast …’

“That may be so … but I know you. I trust you. I know that you wouldn’t put me in danger … not on purpose.” Bella replied, still angry but more composed. But she clearly overestimated his self-control.

“That’s hilarious, Bella.” Jasper sneered. “You trust me? Really? How can you be so stupid, Bella? I cannot trust me … I am the one who tried to kill you, remember?”

No physical blow could have hurt Bella more than those menacing words that had just come out of Jasper’s mouth. I knew that he didn’t mean to hurt her that he was just trying to make his point, a serious point, for sure. She was far too trusting for her own good. But nevertheless I wished he’d chosen a different path to tell her that. Pain was now the dominant expression on her beautiful face, and tears were running down her cheeks. I could tell that her reaction had some effect on Jasper. He slowly backed away from her, finally leaving his defensive crouch. For a few moments they both stood silent, facing each other, both shaking with hurt and grief.

I saw my chance to intervene, and I quickly moved forward, pulling Bella behind my back, to shield her. Jasper didn’t try to attack me this time.

“Go, Jasper. Go hunt.” I instructed him. His eyes were wide with the shock, probably just realizing what he had just done. I could see his remorse, hell, I could even sense it. But right now was not the time for apologies. “Go now. She’ll be fine.” I added more softly, but still firmly enough to press my point.

After taking one last glance at me and Bella, Jasper whirled around and left the house through the backdoor.

I turned around at once and pulled Bella into my arms, holding her in a tight embrace. She went willingly, starting to sob loudly into my chest. It was weird that she allowed me to console her, considering that we didn’t know each other, but I was more than happy to provide some comfort. It was the least I could do. “Shhh, Bella. Everything will be okay. I’ll promise. He will be back.”


	6. The truth, nothing but the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a split POV again between my two favorite characters - Peter and Jasper.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Peter POV

 

I didn’t know how long we stood there, holding each other tightly, calming and comforting each other, without words just this simple touch. It wasn’t unfamiliar to me – this human way to show affection and provide comfort to another person – I’d held my lovely mate Charlotte like this a thousand times. But still … this was somehow different because it was the first time since I’d become a vampire all those decades ago that I held a human in my arms who wasn’t supposed to be my next meal.

Strange as it was, it felt right … and so good. But eventually the warmth of Bella’s body was starting to affect me, and not in a good way. I carefully entangled myself, guiding Bella back to the couch. She obediently sat down, still sobbing and sniffing silently, but she still didn’t say a word. I went back to the end of the room, where Jasper had thrown me into to the wall, to pick up the water bottle where it’d slipped out of my hand and fallen down. Then I returned to Bella’s side.

“Here,” I said, offering her the bottle. She looked at me, with her eyes red and puffy from all the crying, but she still looked like an angel. So innocent … so trusting … so beautiful …

“Thank you.” Bella mumbled awkwardly, but accepting the bottle nonetheless. She laid it into her lap, to have her hands free while she was searching her jeans pockets. Finally she pulled out some tissue and blew her nose. She wiped the remaining tears off with the back of her hand.

“No problem, sugar.” I replied, waving my hand dismissively. “There is even some human food left in the kitchen, some crackers of sorts … in case you’re hungry.” I’d hoped it would cheer her up a bit, and I was glad to see that I’d apparently succeeded with my silly attempt to distract her. A tiny, but sweet smile appeared on her face.

“No, thank you. I am not hungry at the moment.” She declined my offer very politely. I didn’t believe her because I could hear her stomach growling ever so slightly, but I chose to humor her … for the moment. Apparently her hunger wasn’t great enough, or maybe she simply wasn’t in the mood to eat, which I could totally understand after what she’d just been through.

Bella opened the bottle, taking a quick swig of water, and then she placed the bottle on the table. I took a seat on the chair again, keeping a safe distance between her and me. True, I wasn’t tempted by the scent of her blood, but I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible … considering the circumstances. And I wanted to give her some room, to fully calm down from her previous emotional distress. And, to be completely honest, I needed my own space for doing the same anyway. Vampires with high running emotions were never good company for a human, and I was determined to keep Bella safe and alive, at all cost.

I was still pissed as hell at Jasper for reacting this recklessly, attacking me in the very presence of Bella, and thus putting her in immediate danger. At that precise moment I’d known it wasn’t in anyone’s best interest to retaliate. After all, it hadn’t been Bella’s fault that Jasper had lost control. I’d knowingly pushed him over the edge with my forward behavior. But then again he knew me best. He knew that I wouldn’t hurt her. He should have felt it, but somehow he hadn’t.

‘What a mess! I need to fix this. Just keep your emotions in check for now,’ I told myself sternly. ‘There will be time for kicking Jasper’s ass later … and without any reservation. He fucking deserved it! Stupid motherfucker! What has he been thinking?’

Maybe Bella would do some ass kicking herself, the way she’d put herself between us before. It was a stupid move to say the least, but the hell, that girl had courage, and I liked it. Not afraid to stand up and speak up her mind … even to a crazed vampire.

‘Stupid … but brave …’

The more I thought about it the more I realized that I felt actually a little anxious myself in this girl’s presence. That was saying much. Me, a vampire, being troubled by a mere human … And Bella was indeed just a human, that much was obvious. I could hear her steady heartbeat, her even breathing, her blood running through her veins … but somehow I got the impression that she was something more. She was special that much I could already tell even though we’ve just met. She was brave, trusting, selfless, kind and curious … maybe too curious for her own good. But still she was fascinating … and that weird, very weird.

But right now was not the time for pondering over that. Bella was watching me with open interest, and from her demeanor I could tell she was a little nervous, too.

“Shall I take you home?” I offered, politely.

“Why?” Bella asked, sounding upset. She was probably thinking I wanted to get rid of her, which wasn’t the case of course. I just wanted to give her a choice, not presuming anything.

“I’m just asking … in case you don’t feel comfortable being here with me alone … I mean Jasper was right. You don’t know me. And I’m pretty sure you’ve already figured out that I do not abstain from my natural food source like him.” I pointed out the obvious, carefully monitoring Bella’s reaction to my crass estimation of the situation. I detected a small shiver (of fear?) running through her body, but she didn’t show any signs of distress on her face.

For a moment there it seemed that she was actually considering my offer to take her home, but then she shook her head. “No, I think I should stay here. I have to talk to Jasper.” She stated, vehemently, almost stubbornly.

“As you wish, little lady.” I replied, casually, but the truth was that I was very happy about her decision to stay. Not only because I knew those two had indeed a lot to talk about, but maybe even more so because it would give me the opportunity to learn more about this human girl as well. Bella was a mystery begging to be solved. “And I promise I won’t bite.” I added with a wink, which caused her to giggle again.

‘Laugh in the face of death …’ I thought dryly. ‘No sense of self-perseveration whatsoever …’

We sat in silence for a few minutes, both unsure what to say or do next. I actually welcomed the quiet and peace … it was Bella who broke the silence first.

“Peter?” She called my attention, tentatively.

“Yes, Bella.” I answered softly.

“He will be back, though?” Bella looked straight at me, her eyes were pleading. I didn’t need to be an empath to sense her despair and doubt. Her emotions were evident in her voice, and on her face. In that moment she looked so vulnerable, so hurt, that it seemed like she would start crying again. I couldn’t have that.

“Yes, he will. I promise.” I reassured her quickly, and convincingly. “Jasper just needs some time and space to calm down, that’s all.”

“Okay.” She sighed in relief. But I could still see that she – just like Jasper – was dealing with abandonment issues. Hers weren’t new though, and although she was trying very hard to repress them, she wasn’t able to hide them completely. Not from someone as perceptive as me …

What had this so called family done to them? First inviting both of them with open arms, pretending to offer them hope, love and a future among them, and then when things had tended to go rough, dropping them like … well like worthless garbage. Of course, I loathed them for doing that to Jasper. He was my brother and my friend, and I felt very protective of him. But discovering that they’d had the audacity to do the same to this lovely, innocent girl sitting right in front of me … that just made me want to tear each and every one of them into tiny little pieces and set them on fire. Of course I didn’t know for sure why they’d left Bella behind but I had a pretty good idea. They probably thought of her as a liability, a burden … just like Jasper.

‘They both are anything but that,’ I huffed internally. I took in an unnecessary breath, to keep my emotions under control. No need to scare Bella.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

“Go, Jasper. Go hunt. You need to calm down.” Peter barked at me. I stared at him in sheer astonishment, finally realizing what I’d just done. He was calm, very calm, allowing me to feed of his feelings. But it wasn’t enough, though. Bella’s emotions were still way out of control. They didn’t make any sense, neither did her reactions.

“Go now. She’ll be fine.” Peter promised, emphasizing his request for my immediate departure more softly, yet still firmly enough to make sure that there was no room for discussion. Of course, I wanted to apologize to Bella right away, but I realized at once that he wouldn’t let me near her, not until I calmed down, not until he was convinced that I wouldn’t be a potential threat to Bella.

I spared both of them one last sorrowful glance, before turning my back on them and taking flight through the backdoor. On my way out I could hear Bella crying.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck … I messed up … big time … Great, you stupid motherfucker. You did it again … first making her mad and then scared of you … Great, just great …’ I rebuked myself.

So, I ran. I just ran, putting as much distance between me and them. My whole body was still quivering from waves of hatred and self-loathing, when I finally stopped. I had run for so long that I had already passed the Canadian border. Even though I wasn’t really in need of any nutrition I decided to hunt anyway. I quickly took down two large deer and a mountain lion, draining them completely, not leaving even one drop of blood. Afterwards I buried their carcasses and cleaned myself in a nearby stream.

Although my thirst was sated, my emotions were still reeling. I was pissed at myself, at Peter and at Bella. I sat down on a tree trump, resting my head in my hands. I knew before I was even considering my return back to the house, back to Forks, I had to come to terms with what had just happened. I let the events play back in my mind …

I thought I had myself under control, prepared for whatever might happen as soon Bella would wake up. Oh boy, had I been wrong. I’d totally underestimated Bella’s emotional state and her reactions … or I had just overestimated myself … whatever.

At first, her feelings had made sort of sense to me. She was sad, very sad when she took in the almost empty living room. The worst part wasn’t the frown on her beautiful face. No, it was the deep sadness in her eyes, like someone had switched off the light. Her big brown eyes had always been on fire whenever she’d come to the house to visit the family. Even from the distance I’d been forced to keep, I’d been able to notice that. But right there and then it seemed that there wasn’t even a spark of life left in them. When I saw that I’d felt the strange urge to take her into my arms and offer her comfort. But before I had been able to do or say anything, Bella’s emotions had gone haywire. If I hadn’t been sitting at the time, her emotions surely had me knocked down on my ass. Without a second thought I’d sent her every ounce of calm I had to offer, thus keeping her – and myself – from losing it. That grateful smile she’d rewarded me with had warmed my cold and dead heart. I’d never felt that kind of gratitude in my whole existence …

But unfortunately, everything had gone downwards from that point on. First of all, Peter had pushed his luck by advancing on Bella in a way that had been both wrong and inappropriate. The bastard had known pretty damn well that my self-control was pretty much nonexistent ever since I’d discovered that the family had left without so much as a goodbye. And Peter knew that an action like that would push me over the edge, but had done it anyway. What had he been thinking?

And what the hell had Bella been thinking? Allowing a strange, red-eyed vampire coming that close to her? Sure, now that I could think about with a clear head, I hadn’t felt even a flicker of fear coming from her. No, there had been nothing but nervousness and curiosity … but still. Hadn’t she learned her lesson after what had happened with James and with me? She should be more vigilant, or she would end up dead, drained by one of our kind before she’d even have the chance to notice what was happening. She could hardly know that Peter wasn’t like James. He might not hunt humans for fun, but he still fed of them. She must have noticed that little detail that set him apart from me – and the Cullens – but clearly decided to ignore it. Totally unacceptable behavior in my opinion …

So, naturally, I’d snapped, throwing Peter across the room full force, because I’d strongly believed that Bella had been in danger. I had been so wrapped up in my own intense emotions, incapable of making even the tiniest bit of sense out of Bella’s, that I hadn’t been able to form even one coherent thought. I had just acted on instinct.

‘That is weird … my instinct was telling me to protect Bella … Why? How? I wonder what that is about … whatever …’

And then there was Bella’s uncalled-for reaction to my overprotective but well-meant action of putting myself between her and Peter. Not even in my wildest dreams – if I would be able to dream at all – would I’ve imagined her to behave the way she had. At first Bella had been shocked of course, a natural reaction for a human witnessing two vampires moving both too abruptly and too fast, but her surprise had been short-lived, quickly overshadowed by feelings of another kind. Feelings I hadn’t expected under the circumstances, because I had truly believed that she would be at least a tiny bit grateful.

True, I hadn’t expected those kinds of feelings coming from her, but more than that I hadn’t been prepared to discover that they were in fact directed at me. Even from my crouched posture, with my eyes fixed on my current target – with other words my brother Peter – I had been able to see and sense that Bella had been so angry, almost inhumanly outraged with me, that her whole body had shaken under the force of her emotions. To say I was impressed was an understatement, but here and now I was wondering how her facile, little body was even capable to endure that kind of intensity at all.

It had been just like earlier … her emotions had been so overwhelming, almost numbing that I had been unable to think clearly and react with caution. So when she yelled at me, I had let my own emotions take over my rational mind. I had snapped back at her, and in my crazed haze I’d had a really hard time to contain myself, refraining myself from becoming physical with her. And one thing was for sure, if I’d acted on those urges, I would have hurt Bella in the process. Fortunately, for both of our sakes Peter had decided to step in to prevent a disaster from happening … again.

I shook my head, sighing heavily. I was so mad at myself, disappointed that I’d probably blown my one and only chance to make it up to Bella. I had been seeking her forgiveness for my past indiscretion, my slip-up last September … but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if Bella would never speak to me again. There was no excuse for my depraved behavior and I deserved her hatred now more than ever.

This was why I sometimes hated my so-called gift. Especially lately it had been nothing but a curse. I had problems to distinguish between my own emotions and the emotions of others. Deciphering them correctly seemed to be just as difficult. Control was a foreign word for me. I felt like I was trapped in my own personal purgatory … for everything I had done to Bella. Simply put, I was a savage, a liability, a threat … and I should not be allowed anywhere near her ever again.

But even though I didn’t really feel up to it yet, I knew I couldn’t or better shouldn’t put it off any longer. I needed to go back, and face my punishment … whatever it might be.

‘Time to face the music … Maybe she’ll surprise me … hardly … you don’t deserve her forgiveness … But hope dies last, right?’ I told myself, in desperate need of some pep-talk. I pushed myself up, and took off in the right direction leading to my destination. ‘Back to my former home … back to Forks … back to Peter … back to Bella.’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Back at the former Cullen mansion …

 

Peter POV

 

Knowing that Jasper would be back soon, definitely not wanting me to be alone with Bella any longer than absolutely necessary, I decided it was time to get some things cleared up before his return. First of all, I needed her to understand that this whole thing wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t Jasper’s either, despite of what he or she might be thinking.

“Bella, I need to ask a favor of you.” I began, in a calm but firm tone of voice. “When Jasper comes back, please, go easy on him. I know his erratic behavior did upset you. But I know for sure that he didn’t mean to hurt you in any way … or me for that matter. In fact, if anything, he was only trying protect you …” I held up a hand, stopping her before she could interrupt, ”Please, Bella, let me finish. Truth be told, I am the only one here who needs to apologize.

“First of all, you need to know that I pressed Jasper into coming here in the first place, knowing quite well that it wouldn’t be easy for him to return to this place. He told me what had happened on your birthday, and before then. I knew he was … conflicted, but I still insisted, because deep down I knew it was the right thing to do. But neither one of us had anticipated that you might show up here. That was certainly a surprise, not an unpleasant one, mind you … at least for my part.” I smiled her. “Don’t get me wrong, Jasper wasn’t mad to see you, just unprepared. Well … I think things might have gone smoother, if I hadn’t acted the way I did. By greeting you in that very intimate and probably inappropriate way, I’d inevitably pushed him over the edge. You do know that he is an empath, and all those emotions he had been confronted with … his, mine and yours … they finally got the better of him.” Bella nodded, sympathetically. But I didn’t want my explanation to sound like an easy excuse for both our behavior, so I continued.

“Jasper has been through a lot today … and it really shouldn’t have surprised me that he’d snapped in the end. I only wish it wouldn’t have been in front of you. I am very sorry for that, Bella. Please believe me, neither one of us wanted to put you in that kind of danger. But just so you know the reason for his sudden outburst was only due to the fact that, just right before your unexpected arrival here, he’d discovered that the Cullens had left without telling him …”

“Hold it! I don’t understand,” Bella interrupted me at last. She sounded and looked utterly confused. “What are you trying to tell me? He didn’t leave with the rest of them?”

“No, Bella, he didn’t. Jasper spent the last five month with me and my mate Charlotte down in Arizona. Actually, he left Forks right after … well, I think you know.” I explained, cautiously. She shuddered ever so slightly, feeling obviously uncomfortable being reminded of the event that had started this whole mess, but she remained composed nevertheless … at least on the outside.

“I still don’t understand.” Bella stated, barely keeping it together. “HE told me … Ed.. Edward told me that Alice had left with Jasper … that they had gone to Denali, together.”

Of course, I didn’t miss the fact that she – just like Jasper – apparently had problems saying certain names of the family out load, but for now I decided to ignore it. One step at the time … “Well, I hate to break it to you, honey,” I said, forcing myself to stay calm which was very difficult at the moment. “But he lied to you.”

‘And I’m pretty sure that’s not the only thing he’d lied about … to her … or the others … fucking mind-reader … if I ever see him again I’ll kick him where the sun doesn’t shine … Breaking the heart of this lovely girl … How did he dare? Cool down, Peter. Think of Bella.’

She ignored my implication, shaking her head, sighing sadly. She was confused and deeply hurt. I assumed, maybe a little pretentiously though, that her feelings had nothing to do with my bluntness but more with her sudden discovery that her former boyfriend had dared to lie to her … among other things he’d done.

“But I told him and Alice … I told them that I didn’t blame Jasper … that I forgave him right after it happened.” She stammered. Her body and voice was trembling with strong emotions … emotions that I wasn’t able to identify in full. But going by the expression on her face it was plain obvious that she was puzzled, and disappointed, not to mention pissed. Completely understandable, I felt the same. But I didn’t get the chance to say or do anything, because just then I became aware that Jasper was back, even if I couldn’t see him yet.

‘Good timing, dude…’ I thought, cheerfully.

I knew better than to expect him to waltz straight into the room, which was why I wasn’t surprised that Jasper stayed outside. He was probably just as stunned as I was about Bella’s last statement. Sure, I’d tried telling him the same thing over and over again – that it wasn’t his fault – but he’d never believed me. But right here and now I truly hoped that hearing the same words coming out of Bella’s mouth would finally make him see the truth. He wasn’t the one to blame.

“So, I take it then, that you didn’t really mean it … what you’ve said before, outside the house … that you hate him?” I pressed, knowing full well that Jasper would be able to hear her answer too. I felt a little bad for not telling her that Jasper was back, but I knew this little deception of mine would work into my favor in the end.

Bella smiled weakly, her embarrassment was plain obvious. A small blush crept upon her cheeks, which was slightly enticing but mostly cute. “Yes and no.” She replied in all honesty. She didn’t leave it at that, though, but went straight on with her explanation. “I don’t even know why I came here today … well, no, that’s not exactly true. I do know why. I wanted to say good bye, to finally close that chapter of my life and move on … but I didn’t expect anyone to be here. I just wasn’t prepared … to see him … or you … and well, I guess I kinda lost it. Maybe I was overreacting … but when they left, I was completely devastated. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days. I felt lost, abandoned, worthless … in another word, I felt like shit. And seeing Jasper again, well, everything just came rushing back …” She trailed off, exhaling loudly. It was obvious how hard it was for her to be reminded of those days, but she’s keeping it together, probably not wanting to appear weak. As if, she was anything but that. She was remarkably strong, a fighter, a survivor … just like Jasper.

I got the distinct impression that she wanted to add something else, but she didn’t get the chance, because Jasper chose this very moment to make his presence known at last, stepping cautiously out of the shadows. “I am so sorry, Bella.” He moaned, his voice thick and hoarse, full of anguish. His eyes were swimming with unshed tears of venom. He was visibly shaken by Bella’s revelation. Oddly, Bella wasn’t startled by his sudden reappearance. In fact, she seemed to be relieved and happy. “It’s all my fault.”

“No.” Bella and I exclaimed in unison, causing us both to burst into a fit of laughter. But Bella sobered quickly, getting up and slowly moving towards Jasper.

“NO,” she repeated again, putting emphasis the single word. “It was not your fault. It was an accident … just a stupid accident.”

“So … you forgive me?” Jasper asked, still unsure but at the same time desperately seeking her absolution, more than anything else … at least for the moment.

“Of course, I do, Jasper.” She said with utter conviction, taking another step towards him, cautiously reaching out to take his hands in hers. Jasper stayed perfectly still, like a statue, not daring to make a move. For a few moments he stared at their entwined hands in disbelieve, but he didn’t let go. And neither did Bella. When he finally looked up again, a small, but genuine smile was gracing his face.

“So that’s settled then. Group hug?” I asked, smirking mischievously at both of them.


	7. Tell me about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one … also split into two POVs.
> 
> Enjoy!

Jasper POV

 

I stopped running when I reached the edge of the woods, walking slowly to the bank of the small stream separating the forest from the meadow in which centre the Cullen mansion was placed. Even though the sun was hidden behind the usual thick veil of clouds I could still determine by its current position that I hadn’t been gone for as long as I’d thought, maybe half an hour or so …

I slightly crouched and leaped gracefully over the stream, coming to land steadily on my feet almost without making any noise. I walked slowly towards the backdoor of the house. I suddenly stopped in my tracks, when I heard Peter and Bella talking. A strange emotion ran through my body. I didn’t know how to describe it, but whatever it was I didn’t allow it to take control of me.

They seemed to be so comfortable with each other, almost like they were old friends just catching up. But listening closer, I realized that they were in fact comforting each other considering their topic of conversation. Sure, I was glad I couldn’t detect any sign of fear coming from Bella, and that Peter was his usual composed self … for the most part. I truly admired his incredible strength to keep himself in check around Bella, considering she was human and therefore his natural prey. But oddly, it seemed there wasn’t even the slightest urge in him to make her his next meal. Quite the contrary actually, he was both worried and intrigued by her.

‘Silly Bella, she has no idea how lucky she is …’ I shook my head. Her unending trust in our kind was both troublesome and inspiring. ‘She truly is one of a kind …’

Although Bella wasn’t displaying any signs of fear, her emotions were still reeling. I could tell that she was trying very hard to keep them from consuming her, almost like she was unconsciously sensing my presence, which of course I was sure she couldn’t, but I was grateful nonetheless for her attempt to control her emotions to some extent, thus helping me to keep mine in check as well. At the moment Bella was mostly confused and dismayed by the things Peter had just told her. It was pretty obvious that the family had kept the truth about my departure from her. I could understand that it hadn’t been their main concern at the time but I was still surprised to hear that Edward had lied to her.

‘But why would he do that? If anything … my action should have worked into his favor …’ I mused.

“But I told him and Alice … I told them that I didn’t blame Jasper … that I forgave him right after it happened.” Bella’s voice trembled with her emotions. She was sad and disappointed for some reason.

I, on the other hand, was simply stunned, completely frozen in place. Was this true? Did she really not blame me for what had happened that night? How could she think that way? I had tried to kill her for crying out loud! Was she simply that forgiving or just insane? Too many questions, not enough answers … Sure, I was able to sense the truth behind her words, but I wasn’t able to believe them. Not when I was still convinced that I didn’t deserve her forgiveness … not now, not ever. I probably was the reason that he had left her. Why would she forgive me, when I was responsible for destroying her relationship?

I snuck in through the backdoor, but stayed out of sight. I knew that Peter had already noticed my presence, but strangely, he decided to carry on with the conversation obliviously instead of announcing my presence to Bella right away.

‘Sneaky bastard,’ I thought sourly, wondering what he was up to now.

“So, I take it then, that you didn’t really mean it … what you’ve said before, outside the house … that you hate him?” Peter asked Bella. By the sound of his voice, it was clear to me that he’d chosen to ask this particular question on purpose. Peter was obviously just as curious as I was to hear her answer.

I braced myself, expecting the worst. “Yes and no.” Bella answered, awkwardly but truthfully. She sounded like she was embarrassed.

‘What is that supposed to mean? Yes and no. What kind of answer is that?’

Before my irritation could get the better of me, she continued. Her voice was slightly unstable, whether because of her emotions or her search for the right kind of words, I did not know. Nor did I care at the moment. I was barely aware that I was holding my breath in anticipation of her explanation, my whole body was tense. “I don’t even know why I came here today … well, no, that’s not exactly true. I do know why. I wanted to say good bye, to finally close that chapter of my life and move on … but I didn’t expect anyone to be here. I just wasn’t prepared … to see him … or you … and well, I guess I kinda lost it. Maybe I was overreacting … but when they left, I was completely devastated. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days. I felt lost, abandoned, worthless … in another word, I felt like shit. And seeing Jasper again, well, everything just came rushing back …”

Her words barely registered with my mind, because while she was speaking her gates fully opened again. I could feel all of her pain and sorrow, she’d tried so hard to conceal before. I was surprised that the force of her feelings didn’t knock me down this time, instead my legs moved on their own accord, like some invisible force was pulling me towards her. Once again I felt that strange urge to take her into my arms, holding her tight, doing everything to comfort her … just like I’d felt outside.

I took one final cautious step into the living room.

“I am so sorry, Bella.” I moaned, whispering so low, that I wasn’t quite sure if she could even hear me. But both their heads turned to me at once, and to my and Peter’s astonishment Bella wasn’t even the tiniest bit surprised by my sudden reappearance. Quite the opposite, she smiled at me, shyly but genuinely. Waves of relief and happiness washed over me, almost overriding my own feelings of regret and self-loathing … almost. “It’s all my fault.”

“No.” Bella and Peter shouted at the same time, causing me to recoil, and them to throw a hysteric laughing fit. I stared at them in shock. Sure, it was kind of a funny quirk, but still inappropriate behavior in this situation … at least in my view. When Bella saw my expression, she sobered at once. Again smiling, she slowly got up from the couch and cautiously made her way over to me.

“No,” she said once more, resolutely. I couldn’t detect any trace of deceit in her voice … or in her feelings. “It was not your fault. It was an accident … just a stupid accident.”

“So … you forgive me?” I pressed, still not able to believe her words. An accident … she called my attempt to rip her throat out a stupid accident. This was just crazy. Maybe cutting herself on a simple sheet of paper had been an accident … but my attack? No way. That hadn’t been an accident. That was me out of control, simply acting on my animal instinct …

Of course, I wanted her to forgive me. Well, to be honest, at this point I had actually come to believe that I wouldn’t be able to move on if she didn’t. I desperately needed her absolution to continue my life … just like she needed air to breathe to do the same. I needed at least someone to forgive me … if not one of my former family members, then maybe her? I knew I was grasping at straws at this point, but I was desperate.

“Of course, I do, Jasper.” Bella said with total sincerity, taking one final step towards me. She reached out cautiously to take my larger, strong hands into her tiny, facile ones. I didn’t dare to move or even say anything, scared to startle her if I would. When our skin met, a sudden jolt of electricity shot through my entire body. It felt like a fire was running through my veins. But instead of the all consuming, destructive power I connected with that specific force, there was nothing but a warm and fuzzy, sort of tingling sensation, a kind of cleansing power … 

‘Strange … but yet pleasant somehow …’

I hadn’t missed the shiver that had run through Bella’s body, when our skin had met. Obviously, she had felt this strange sensation too, but she didn’t make any indication that she was repelled or anything. She clearly felt comfortable in my presence. It was odd but reassuring.

‘She is incredible …’

I was once again stunned speechless. I had held her before that day, so the closeness and warmth of her body shouldn’t have had that immense effect on me, but it did. What was so different this time? I had no idea, but I was definitely pleased to determine that at least the scent of her blood wasn’t calling to me as strongly as I’d feared … which was both strange and enlightening. Could it actually be true that I wasn’t the monster that I’d believed to be? Peter surely seemed to feel that way. And now that I thought about it, this wasn’t the first time I was in such close proximity to Bella. We had stayed together in a hotel room for a few days without me even thinking once to take a bite of her. Funny, but still true. Had my family just been acting overcautiously the whole time, without there ever being a real reason? Especially Edward … He had been the one to talk. Bella was his singer, for crying out loud, and he had been worried about my self-control?

‘Fuck him …’

With this sudden revelation, I felt anger rising in me again … anger at myself for doubting my own strength and of course anger at my family who had made me believe all this time that I was the weakest link. But somehow even through our limited physical connection, Bella managed to keep me grounded. My anger didn’t peak, but subsided bit by bit, and I wondered silently how she was able to do such a thing all of the sudden, when only an hour ago she had struck me down with her emotions alone. But for now I decided to push these questions away, to ponder over them later … probably with Peter’s helpful input.

The whole time Bella’s eyes were fixed on mine, pleading silently with me to believe her. Really looking at her for the first time, I lost myself in the depth of her brown eyes, feeling nothing but trust and love, and the unfamiliar but soothing warmth of her body through our entwined hands. It was like the time stood still …

I’ve never felt that kind of affection before in my entire existence … not even as a human, as far as I could remember. Her tender emotions were so pure and strong, and for once solely directed at me. I bathed in the warmth, letting it sink into every pore of my being. I felt totally at peace, and sighed out in pure relief and utter pleasure. I smiled at Bella timidly, nodding my head in appreciation, thus telling her without words that I believed her and how grateful I was for her forgiveness. She seemed to understand, smiling warmly in return.

“So that’s settled then. Group hug?” Peter interrupted cheerfully, thus breaking the spell between Bella and me. She snapped her head up, looking at my dear brother and laughed nervously, and I couldn’t help myself but answered Peter’s mischievous smirk with a grin of my own.

“I’m sorry about before, bro.” I apologized.

“No blood, no foul.” Peter simply said, waving his hand dismissively. But this was just an act for Bella’s sake, because he added in a low voice, inaudible to her, but not to me. “I’ll kick your ass later for reacting so recklessly in her presence.”

I couldn’t quite determine if he really meant what he said or not, but I would let him have his revenge any way he wanted … hell I fucking deserved it. Of course, he wouldn’t kill me, but he probably would throw some hard punches … and honestly I wouldn’t be overly surprised if he would remove a limp or two in the process … just to make his point. He was still pissed, but hid it well from Bella, and tried his best not to influence me in any way with his emotions. But I knew him well enough, to see the little signs of rage, brewing deep inside him. By the way he had reacted to all this, rather reminded me of Emmett’s behavior towards Bella … the big brother looking out for his little sister. I could already tell that Peter was quite fond of Bella. What was it about this human girl that made dangerous creatures like us, behave so protective of her?

Just then Bella let go of my hands, and I immediately missed her touch.

But why? Probably just because of the pleasant warmth … 

She went back to the couch, sitting down. She looked somehow exhausted, not physically but emotionally for sure. But maybe it was just my imagination. Her emotions were once again shrouded, not fully decipherable to me. But I didn’t care, at least not for the moment. I took a seat on the other end of the couch, keeping my distance, even though I longed to be closer to her. I detected another shiver running through her body, but this time I was sure it was from the cold and not from fear. I hadn’t realized before that she only wore a thick sweater and a thin coat. The cold weather didn’t bother me or Peter, but a human.

“Are you cold?” I asked, caringly.

“A little.” She admitted, a little reluctantly, almost like she was embarrassed to show a sign of weakness. ‘Silly girl!’

“Let me see if there is a blanket somewhere.” I offered right away, getting on my feet right away, but not too fast to startle her. I made my way upstairs, leaving the two of them alone again. When I was back in the room I used to share with Alice, I went straight to the closet. To call this extra room a closet was actually an understatement. The built-in closet was almost as big as my study, and a waste of space in my opinion. But Alice had always been obsessed with clothes, and money had never been a problem for us, so she’d spent most of her free time shopping and had ended up with enough clothes to fill a small clothing store for at least a season or two. It was empty now … for the most part. Only a tiny fraction of the closet was still occupied with my clothes. The room looked just the same way as I had left it, well minus the amount of clothes Alice had owned. I could see that not even one piece of my stuff had been moved since I’d left. Ignoring my qualms at the sight, I quickly dug through my stuff. I finally found an old quilt at the bottom of my closet space.

‘That will do …’ I thought, joyfully and made my way back to the living room.

Thanks to my vampire senses I was able to hear even from the second floor, that Bella had opened the conversation again.

“So where are you from, Peter?” She asked, like she was talking to a regular person and not a vampire.

“Texas, Ma’am.” Peter answered, stressing his Southern accent to Bella’s amusement. “Like Jasper.”

“I didn’t know that Jasper was from Texas.” She admitted, sounding sad but at the same time pleased to discover some detail about my life, causing me to smile in response. She seemed almost eager to get to know me better. Was this a new course or had she always been interested in me? Before I was able to think about it further, I was back downstairs, handing Bella the blanket.

“Thanks,” she said, smiling again. I began to enjoy this reaction in her … probably more than I should. Bella pulled the blanket around her body and making herself more comfortable on the couch.

“No problem, Darlin’.” I replied, retaking my former seat next to her.

‘Darlin’? … Why in the hell did I call her that? …What’s wrong with me? …’

Even in my confused state, I could sense Peter’s amusement very clearly. I glanced at him briefly. He was grinning broadly, looking like a fool. He obviously had noticed my slip-up – in words – and thought it was funny. I scowled at him, and let him feel my irritation. Bella on the other hand had been oblivious to our little interaction and to my slip-up … or she had simply chosen to ignore it, which was fine by me. How would I explain either one of them to her, without embarrassing myself? She reached for the bottle on the table and took a sip of the water, before facing me again.

“You guys seemed to be pretty close … How long do you know each other?” She asked, casually, but also with purpose, like she was on a mission to find out as much as she could, before we would leave again …

“We go way back …” Peter started to answer her question, but when he heard my low but menacing growl, he stopped. This time Bella didn’t miss a thing. She stared at both of us in alarm.

‘Great now I’ve scared her again … Stupid, stupid …’ I scolded myself.

“What’s wrong?” She wanted to know, sounding slightly mortified as if she’d asked the wrong question. And she had, kind of. It was a tricky question, one I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to answer, not yet anyway. Maybe never, because if she knew the real me, she would be scared and appalled … and for good reason. The knowledge about my past, our past, wasn’t for the faint-hearted. But then again Bella wasn’t weak, not anymore, not in that way. Maybe she’s never been. Perhaps she could handle the story of my horrid past. No, no, I couldn’t tell her …

I smiled at her sympathetically, before I asked my own question, to determine her state of information. “Bella, what do you know about my past … about my life before I joined the Cullens?”

“Not much … Edward just told me that you had a completely different upbringing than the others.” Bella answered, warily but truthfully.

“Well, that’s a nice way of putting it …” Peter grumbled, causing me to growl at him again, but this time without Bella noticing it. She just stared at both of us in total bewilderment.

“Won’t you tell me?” She whispered, almost inaudibly, lowering her gaze to the ground. Maybe her persistence was endearing under different circumstances, but not right now. I wasn’t really angry with her, because even though I didn’t know why, I wanted her to know me … all of me. But this topic was of limits … at least for tonight.

‘Wait, does this mean that I’m planning to stay here? I can’t. Not in this house … But I am not ready to leave either. Why? Because of Bella? Must be … What other reason is there?’

I felt the strange desire to get to know her better as well, now that I finally had a chance, I wanted to take it. Maybe I should stick around, at least for a little while.

“Bella.” I tenderly called her attention. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you about my past, well our past more precisely,” I motioned to Peter and then myself, “but I think now it not the right time. I promise that I will tell you someday … but just so you know it’s not a pleasant story.”

Peter seemed just as surprised as me. Here I was making promises without actually having decided to prolong my stay. But I was determined to keep my promise … with any means necessary. If it meant that I would have to stay in this house longer than I’d originally planned, then so be it. It wasn’t like I had somewhere to be or something. And there were the damaged wall and the broken front door I had to fix … so we would have stay at least until Monday or Tuesday …

“Okay … I’ll understand.” Bella allowed, sighing. She really seemed to understand my reluctance to tell her my story right away, which I truly appreciated. But even without me telling her so, she seemed to believe that there would be a time, when I would tell her.

The atmosphere in the room was a little tense after the end this particular topic and neither one of us seemed to know what to do or say next. Even Peter was unusually quiet, apparently still processing my words. I could tell that he wasn’t appalled by my unspoken proposal to prolong our stay in Forks. If anything he was intrigued. Whatever was going through his mind, he wasn’t about to share it with me or Bella … at least not for the moment. I was fine with that.

Suddenly Bella looked at her watch and gasped. “Fuck, it’s already three!”

Her sudden outburst startled even us vampire, which was a miracle in itself. Peter chuckled lightly.

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” I asked, curiously.

“It’s pretty late, and I need to get home. Charlie’s probably wondering where I’ve been all day …” Bella rambled, already on the move.

“Oh sure, of course …” I mumbled, a little disappointed. What was wrong with me? Peter seemed to have noticed my reaction to her announcement to leave.

“Well … we don’t want to cause you any trouble by keeping you here. If your father is waiting …” He said, in a smooth but sort of weird way. I stared at him, but he just winked conspiratorially. Again, Bella didn’t notice our little silent exchange.

“Oh, that’s not it. Charlie is gone for the weekend … fishing with his friends. But he likes to check in with me … to see how I’m doing,” she explained, frowning a little at the end. “And I left my cell at home this morning … so at least I should get home to see if he’d called … But I would like to come back, if that’s alright with you guys?” She was smiling coyly, raising her eyebrows in question.

I could have sworn that my dead heart just jumped in my chest at the prospect of spending more time with Bella today.

‘What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I acting like a teenage boy all of the sudden? All giddy and nervous … This has to stop … it’s just Bella,’ I reminded myself sternly, but apparently I was unable to keep my emotions hidden, because in my peripheral vision I could see Peter smirking at me again. ‘Fuck, I’m projecting my joy … or not … who knows with this freak … maybe he’s already seen this outcome …’

Because I was too much annoyed with myself and Peter, I totally forgot that Bella was actually waiting for an answer. But before the silence became too awkward, Peter interceded on my behalf.

“That sounds great, actually. I would be honored to spend more time with you, Bella … and I think Jasper feels the same.” He declared, thus outing me to her. I huffed inaudible, but didn’t comment. “Why don’t you go home and pick up the things you need, and give your father a call so he doesn’t worry. And then you come back here and we can continue our talk. Hey, we can have a slumber party here … no parents and all that … Oh … how about I get you some Italian food from Seattle … I am sure you are pretty hungry by now.” Peter offered, with a huge smile.

Bella laughed at Peter’s enthusiasm, but she was feeling pretty much the same to my surprise and delight. “I’d like that. But you don’t need to do that … getting me food from Seattle … I can eat something at my home.” Bella insisted.

“No way, little lady, it will be my pleasure,” Peter purred, laying emphasis on the last word. When I growled at him again, he just ignored me. ”And I have to run some errands in the city anyways …” Peter added, trailing off. I knew what he meant right away, but I could sense Bella’s confusion. For once I was glad that Peter had kept the true reason from Bella, instead of throwing the fact that he was planning to hunt there right in her face.

Before Bella could reply anything, Peter was already at the door. “See you guys in a few.” And with a tiny wave of goodbye, he was off.

“What has he … oh … oh … I see.” Bella gasped slightly, as realization sank in. She stared at me with her mouth slightly open, like she was trying to say something, but was too shocked to actually form words. But to my surprise she recovered rather quickly, nodding slightly to herself.

“He is going to hunt.” She stated, simply, almost detached.

“And you are okay with that?” I asked, perplexed. What a stupid question? How could she be okay with that?

“Would it be strange if I say yes? I mean I know what he is … and that he needs to eat, hmm, feed at some point. I’m just glad, that he does it there rather here in Forks … Oh, my God. That sounds terrible …” Bella stopped her rambling abruptly, covering her face with her hands. Waves of embarrassment and mortification washed over me. “Just thinking that … I’m such a monster.” She moaned.

‘She thinks she is a monster … that’s just hilarious …’

I snorted, causing her to snap her head up and glaring at me. “You are anything but a monster, Bella.” I stressed, vehemently. She kept staring at me, obviously still feeling bad about her spoken thoughts. I cautiously reached out and took one of her hands in mine. Once again I felt this strange tingly sensation when our skin met, but I chose to ignore it this time. “Listen to me, Bella. I know you feel guilty about your words … but I understand what you were trying to say. And you are right. He needs to feed at some point … like every other being. It’s nature. Predators and prey …

“But if it makes you feel any better, both Peter and Charlotte only hunt when they are hungry and not for sports like others of our kind. And I hope you can take some comfort in the fact, that they usually choose their victims very carefully … human scum like thugs, drug dealers, murderers, rapists, pedophiles … in other words people who are rarely missed.”

Bella was listening intently, and I could see and sense that she was working through my explanation … or rather justification … very thoroughly. Finally, she nodded and smiled weakly.

“Okay.” Was the only thing, she said. It was clear to me that she was going to need some time, to fully comprehend the truth behind my reasoning, but she understood, that there was nothing she could do to prevent nature from happening.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” I stood up, pulling her along with me.

“You’re coming with me?” She asked, sounding surprised but somehow pleased.

I smiled. “If you don’t mind … I think, it’s better this way … if you are actually thinking about staying here overnight, that is … well it might be more prudent to leave your truck at your house. In a small town like this, someone might mention the absence of it and you to your father … especially when it’s overnight …”

Bella laughed at my jumbled reasoning, but agreed. “Oh, good point. I’m not sure how he will react to you being back and all … But wait, how are we going to get back?”

“Well, I could follow you in Peter’s truck …” I began, but then an idea – a bad idea – popped into my head. “Or … or I could carry you back here …” I proposed, cautiously.

‘What am I thinking? Why would she allow me to do that? This was something she used to do with Edward … stupid … stupid …’

“Okay.” She agreed, surprising me yet again. I had been prepared for her protest, but not for her consent. In fact, she actually seemed to be excited about the idea.

“Okay?” I repeated, still doubting her resolution.

“Yes,” She replied earnestly, pulling me along to the exit. Until then I hadn’t realized that our hands were still entwined. It felt so natural, and Bella didn’t seem to mind the physical contact either. When we reached her truck, I reluctantly let go of her hand.

“Mind if I drive?” I asked, carefully monitoring her reaction. I just wanted to be chivalrous.

After taking a short, but scrutinizing look at me, Bella shook her head. “No, I don’t.” She said, smiling, and then she handed me the keys.

Once inside the truck, my eyes immediately fell upon the empty space where Emmett had installed our birthday present. Bella noticed my stare, and gulped audibly.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, blushing deep red. Her embarrassment was palpable.

“It’s okay … I understand.” I said, shrugging. True, it had been a really good stereo system, top-shelf actually, but it wasn’t a very good present. It was something nice and practical, but certainly missing the personal touch.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it, because I really did … but after Edward had taken everything else from me when he left … well … I’d just overreacted. I’m truly sorry … I didn’t want to hurt you … or Emmett. Or even Rosalie.” She explained, and I could feel that she was upset with herself for reacting so immature. But my mind was busy with something else …

“He took your things?” 

“Yeah,” Bella verified, dejectedly, angrily.

“Why would he do that?” I mused aloud, but actually more to myself.

“Well, I guess to help me forget …” She shrugged, seeming reluctant to go into details.

‘That sick bastard. How did he dare? Was leaving her alone not enough? Breaking her heart and stealing her things … what a jerk …’ I fumed silently.

One glance at her told me, that Bella had noticed my irritation, because she cringed slightly. “Jasper, please, let’s talk about something else.” She pleaded with me.

“Of course,” I conceded. “I’m sorry if I’d said something to upset you.”

“It’s alright … I’m just not quite ready yet to talk about it, okay?”

“Okay. Change of subject then? How is school?” I asked lightly.

She laughed at my subtle attempt to lighten up the mood, but she answered anyway. “Same old, same old. Gym sucks, but everything else is good … I mean better … I had a lot of things to catch up after …” She stopped again, apparently once again entering dangerous territory.

“And your friends?” I asked, trying to deflect her thoughts but desperate keep the conversation going.

“Which ones are you referring to?” She asked, slightly amused by that particular question. It was true, even though I had always been at the sidelines I could not remember Bella hanging out with anybody from school. After all, she had spent almost all her time with us, the Cullens.

“Well … Angela and Ben are actually the only ones who are still talking to me … I think I’ve probably driven the other ones away with my weird behavior.” She continued. “Except for Mike … for some weird, unexplainable reason …” She added, shaking her head. I had to bite my tongue, to keep myself from commenting. I knew exactly why Mike Newton didn’t abandon her side. He wanted her. A small part of me was grateful, that he didn’t dump her like her other human friends. But mostly I was annoyed, because I knew that his infatuation with Bella was just that … an infatuation of a teenager, nothing that would last. She was far too good for him … probably for anybody …

Keeping those thoughts to myself, we spent the rest of the way to her house talking about her classes. I drove very slowly. Not that it was necessary, but it meant more time with Bella. Sure, she’d said she would come back with me to the house, but there was still a chance that she would change her mind.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Charlotte POV

 

Peter and Jasper left early in the morning. I was a little mad with my mate for leaving me behind. Not that I believed that I could have been any kind of assistance whatsoever, but Jasper meant almost as much to me as Peter. We were a family, and in tough situations like these we would usually stick together. But of course Peter had insisted on going on this trip … as he’d called it … without me.

“We will be back soon, Char.” He promised, while holding me tight in his arms. I knew he had his reasons for leaving me behind and I hadn’t dared to demand an explanation, because he barely gave one anyway. This weird behavior of his didn’t bug me anymore as it did Jasper. With time I had learned to just accept his gift for what it was – a weird quirk. I usually just ignored it, when Peter was like that. I trusted Peter completely, and knew that he would never do anything to purposely hurt me … or Jasper.

I hugged my brother goodbye as well, murmuring into his ear that everything would be fine, pouring every ounce of comfort and love I possessed into him. He just smiled weakly, kissing my cheek swiftly and without another word he walked over to the passenger side of our truck.

Peter gave me one last passionate kiss, and then he got in the car and they drove off. I stayed outside on the porch for a little while longer, thinking about the past months …

I would never forget the pained expression on Jasper’s face the day he came here last September, and I had been and still was deeply concerned about him. I knew that my mate would give him any support necessary, but there was only so much he could do. Jasper wasn’t himself right now, pretty unstable actually. But then again if anybody would ask me, he hasn’t been himself for a very long time. Of course, no one wanted the actual Major Whitlock back. God forbid. We all had been through hell together back then and were glad, that we had come out of it almost intact … well at least in one piece. But the more time Jasper had spent with the Cullens and especially with his pixie wife, the more his eyes had lost that spark of life, that flicker of true power and strength. Of course, he had been happy at first that he’d finally found a place where he seemed to belong, and Peter and I had been happy for him, too. No more despair and depression, at least. But every time we’ve seen each other over the decades – which hadn’t been as often as Peter and I had wanted – I’d noticed that the bad changes far outweighed the good ones. What had happened to the strong leader, the fighter he had once been? Jasper had turned into nothing but a string-puppet in my opinion. But because he’d seemed to be content with the situation I had kept my mouth shut. Of course, I’d shared my observations with my mate on many occasions, but even though Peter had agreed with me, he’d always say, that it was Jasper’s choice and up to him to change his life if he was willing to.

‘His life … hmpf … This was nothing more than existing … not living at all.’

It was hard for me to see Jasper so miserable. I knew that he would have contradicted me on that assessment, but I could see that he wasn’t truly happy, content yes, but not as blissfully happy as I was with Peter. There were different kinds of couples in our world … friends, lovers, mates … and then there were soul mates, like Peter and myself. Even though they used to call themselves mates, I knew better. If anything, Jasper and Alice had been companions, lovers, but nothing more. I often wondered why she couldn’t see it, too. After all, wasn’t she the one who was all knowing? Apparently not …

I was worried. In just a few hours he would have to face the very people who had let him leave, their home and their family, without making any attempt to keep him there and sort things out, like a true family would. Maybe, his hurried departure had been a wise decision under the circumstances but I still couldn’t believe that none of them had tried to make contact with him in all those months …

‘What a nice family!’

I finally stood up and made my way back inside the house with the intention to clean or read something, but taking one look around the empty room, I decided to rather spend the day in town. I definitely didn’t want to stay home, alone. As a matter of fact ever since we’ve escaped from Maria, Peter and I had barely been apart for more than a day or two tops. It simply hurt too much to be away from your other true half for longer than that … and staying in the house on my own wouldn’t do me any good at the moment.

 

After a little shopping and wandering around the streets – thank God it was raining today – I made my way back to our house, patiently awaiting both of my men to return home.

It was around four in the afternoon, when my phone beeped. With a smile on my face, I went over to the table to pick up my cell and eagerly opened it. As expected, it was a text message from Peter.

PACK SOME CLOTHES AND GET YOUR SWEET LITTLE ASS OVER HERE ASAP.

‘What the hell? Are they planning on staying there … Why?’

Beep. Another message.

NO NEED TO WORRY, BABE. THEY ARE GONE. BUT JASPER HAS TO FIX SOME THINGS BEFORE HE CAN LEAVE …

‘Cryptic much? Did he tear down the house, or what? And even if, who cares … I would gladly set the house on fire myself … just hand me some matches …’

I was just about to dial his number, when my phone beeped again.

DON’T CALL. I CANNOT TALK AT THE MOMENT. AND I HAVEN’T TOLD HIM YET.

‘Why not? What’s the problem in me coming there, when they aren’t there anyway? I don’t get it …’

Beep. This was getting annoying.

BE PREPARED. THERE IS A HUMAN HERE.

‘A Human? What human? Not that human pet of his so-called brother? But it has to be her … who else could it be?’

Beep.

‘What is it with these tiny bits of information? Can’t he just write one long message …’

SORRY, MY LOVE, I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY MAD AND WANT TO YELL AT ME RIGHT NOW. BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU THE CLIFFNOTES. I PROMISE TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU’RE HERE. LOVE, PETER.

“You’ll better.” I huffed, but smiled nevertheless. Peter usually got very creative, and generous, when he was making amends. I quickly typed a short reply.

VERY WELL. SEE YOU SOON. MISS YOU.

ME TOO. HURRY.

Even without actually hearing his voice, I could tell from reading between the lines that Peter was both excited and concerned. So was I. Eager to see my mate, worried about what had happened and how Jasper had taken it … but most of all I was confused. I could hardly wrap my head around the fact that the Cullens had actually left Forks without telling Jasper about it.

‘Well, maybe they left him a message, telling him where they relocated to …’ I mused, but discarded that thought right away. I highly doubted that they did something like that, not after the months of silence.

And on top of that they left the human behind. The human they had welcomed into their family, but more importantly had introduced into our world. Our existence was supposed to be a secret, and for good reason. By revealing themselves they had broken the one and only rule that mattered in our world … a stupid move, to say the least.

But then again, they had been flaunting their existence for years. It was just a matter of time before someone figured out their secret. And apparently this Bella chick had finally succeeded where others had failed or had been too scared to say anything. I had to admit confronting them took some guts, or an unhealthy need to quench one’s curiosity. It seemed like that she had both, in abundance. Remarkable, truly remarkable …

I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the rest of Peter’s messages. Sure, I was curious to meet the girl, not only because she had been the cause for Jasper’s trouble. But I was also worried, because I had no idea how to act around humans. Other than feeding off them or the informal and quick interactions with them when I went shopping, I tended to stay away from them. This would certainly be a new kind of challenge, one I didn’t have to face before … and to be completely honest, one I wasn’t sure I was up to. My control was good but not as good as Peter’s. Even though I’d fed the night before Peter’s and Jasper’s departure, I knew that I would need to feed again on my way to Forks, just to be safe. I didn’t know exactly why, but I didn’t want to take any chances … not until I had all my answers.

I went into our bedroom and quickly packed up some of my and Peter’s clothes, since he hadn’t taken any with him, when they had left this morning. And why should he have? This wasn’t supposed to be a prolonged stay … but now? Who knew? I threw the bag over my shoulder, closing the front door behind me without bothering to lock it, because no one, at least no human, would ever come here. And then I made my way into town again on foot. We didn’t own a second car, because there simply was no use for it, so I had to rent one.

Under no circumstances would I run the whole way like Jasper had done … I was a woman after all.


	8. I told you so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we are going back in time, five months. One of the Cullens will tell you what happened on the eve of Bella’s 18th birthday party … in her own words.
> 
> You might recognize some phrases from the original story. Those, of course, belong to the one and only Stephanie Meyer … but the rest is mine.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rosalie POV

 

The hood of my red-convertible was popped up, and I leaned over to reach for the some tool I required. I loved working on my car, or any car I could get my hands on for that matter. Edward’s Vanquish, unfortunately, was of limits, but at least Carlisle and Emmett allowed me to upgrade their vehicles from time to time and (mostly) appreciated my handiwork.

It was my favourite pastime ... just like Alice loved to go shopping. Jasper and Edward both shared an interest in reading and music although their tastes in those particular hobbies differed considerably. Esme was the creative one in our family, always busy with planning and redecorating. Most of Carlisle’s time was usually occupied with his work at the hospital, but he didn’t seem to mind, because he enjoyed it too much. Well, and my Emmett was happy watching TV and playing his games ... or with me.

Without the need for sleep like a human, it was truly necessary to come up with something useful or interesting to occupy ourselves ... especially with this great amount of extra time at a vampire hand.

But right now, the garage was more than the usual place to help me relax and an opportunity to work on my car ... it was a hideout. For days now, Alice and Esme had been planning and preparing the big surprise birthday party for Bella, Edward’s human girlfriend. Today was Bella’s 18th birthday and Alice had insisted on throwing her a party, even though Edward had told her over and over again that Bella hated any kind of attention, but of course Alice wouldn’t budge. Once she’d made up her mind, there was usually nothing anybody of us could do or say, to make her change her mind. Not even Jasper, who was supposed to be her mate, had any influential power over her, which was odd in my opinion. Of course, Emmett and I had our little quarrels like every other couple but we usually were on the same page when it came down to making important decisions. Or at least we tried to find a compromise that suited us both. But Jasper and Alice were nothing like us – on so many levels – and sometimes I truly wondered if they were meant to be together. They seemed to be happy, though, why was why I’ve never shared my doubts with any of them.

‘Call me selfish if you want ... but I try not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.’

At first Edward had been against this whole party thing, but now he was pretty excited about it too, and so was everyone else ... well, everyone except me. I did my best to stay out of the whole preparation process, because I didn’t want to be a part of it. Actually, to tell the truth, I didn’t just want to be a part of this pathetic birthday party, but the whole ridiculous so-called relationship between my brother and this human girl.

From the very beginning I’d made it perfectly clear where I stood regarding this subject. In my opinion it had been a bad idea to encourage my brother to get to know the girl who was not only impervious to his gift but above all his singer.

‘Get to know her, then you won’t be tempted ... that’s just hilarious ... and stupid ... playing with this poor girl’s life ... as an experiment to test the strength of his ability to withstand the appeal of the most delicious blood he’d ever encountered ... crazy, just crazy ...’

But everyone – except for me and Jasper – had total confidence in this foolish endeavour. Of course, why wouldn’t they? Edward was the golden boy, the ‘first born’, and nobody thought he would ever fail.

I could clearly remember the family meeting we had after Edward’s first encounter with Bella. How shaken he had been, afraid to slip up ... and thus being the weakest link in the family for a change. Usually, this particular role belonged to Jasper. Yes it was true, my brother had to struggle more with our atypical choice of lifestyle than anyone of us, but considering his past it was only reasonable.

Edward had left us for almost a week, but of course he’d come back, just to prove one point. That he was better. That he was above it all. That he wasn’t a failure like Jasper.

Apart from Carlisle and me, who’d never tasted human blood, all of them had slipped up once in a while ... at least in the very beginning. And Emmett had met his equivalents to Edward’s human twice and hadn’t been able to resist on both occasions. So, why did the family have this unending amount of faith in Edward to accomplish this insane goal? To abstain from biting this girl whose blood literally called out to him? I still had no answer to this question.

And Jasper was doing the best he could to resist ... because he really wanted to stay with the family, to have a place where he finally belonged. And he was smart enough to avoid temptations like Bella if he could help it. Knowing how hard it was to resist at all, of course he had sided with me after the incident with the car last spring.

Yes, our plan to kill the poor girl who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time that day and unknowingly had become an unhealthy obsession of my brother’s had probably been a little too hasty and ruthless. But we both had only the safety of our family in mind. Keeping our existence a secret from humans was imperative to survive in our world, and in acting this recklessly Edward could have exposed us not only to her but to a lot of the other students as well. And no one of us wanted to attract the attention and wrath of the Volturi. I had been so mad at him that day I could have ripped him to pieces and would have danced around the pyre.

But then Alice came along with her visions ... visions of Edward falling in love with the girl and her becoming one of us someday. Of course, all of us had been shocked by this information, but apparently this revelation had changed everything.

Over the next two weeks Edward had tried to stay away from Bella, but he’d eventually caved. Oddly, he hadn’t been the one, revealing our secret to her. No, according to Edward, she had been smart enough to figure it out all by herself ... with a little help from a friend from the Indian reservation down at La Push. Being already too smitten with her, he’d not even tried to deny anything. All of us – including myself – had been impressed how well she’d taken the truth about us. She didn’t seem to be scared at all, just intrigued.

The nasty incident with James’ coven should have finally convinced Edward and the rest of my family, how fragile and weak she actually was, that she didn’t belong in our world no matter how nice she was, but strangely, it had an adverse effect ... at the very least on Bella. From time to time I caught glimpses of her looking at Edward like he was her saviour ... her white knight in shining armour. But as far as I was concerned, this event had been the beginning of the end, the turning point.

Now that Edward had tasted her blood once, I was certain that he would always crave for a second helping (pun intended). I’d tried to talk to him about it, try to warn him of the danger her knowledge, her mere presence among our family presented, that this whole thing was crazy and he was endangering her life, and would probably ending on killing her anyway, but he wouldn’t listen. He was too proud, and too selfish, to see what was right in front of his eyes. He seemed to forget, that we all were a potential danger to her.

But Edward probably just thought that I was just jealous of Bella, that she’d succeeded where I’d failed ... getting to his heart. Yes, I envied her, but because he loved her, but for the life she had, all the possibilities a human life represented. A true future, a family, children ... all the things I’d been denied in my human life, and then in my vampire existence. And she was willing to give up her human life to be with someone who was just as inexperienced in love and life as she was. I was pretty sure he’d read my thoughts, to know what I was thinking about Bella, but I was sure that he couldn’t fully comprehend their meaning. We’ve never been very close, but since Bella had stumbled into our lives, the little connection we’d shared got more and more strained.

Needless to say, Esme had been over the moon when she’d discovered that this simple girl had such a positive effect on her favourite son. True, he’d definitely changed for the better, at least a little bit. No more brooding around all of the time ... more laughter. Carlisle was happy too, and very proud of his son. Alice was just ... well ... just Alice. Overly pleased to have someone new to play with. Emmett was happy to play the role of the big brother, and enjoyed teasing Bella on many occasions. And I kept my distance for the most part ... and so did Jasper, although for different reasons ...

 

\+ + + + +

 

Even from here, I could hear Alice and Esme rummaging through the house, preparing everything for the big birthday party. Alice was bouncing up and down the stairs in rapid succession, shouting commands at everyone who was willing to comply. I knew sooner or later she would notice my absence, and would come looking for me.

‘Speak of the devil ... and the devil shall appear ...’ I could sense her approach, even before I heard her voice.

“Rosalie!” Alice screeched, hysterically, stopping right at my side.

‘God, I swear, one of these days her voice will make my ears bleed. I have no idea how Jasper is dealing with it ... or her for that matter ...’

“What the hell are you doing in here?” She demanded to know, her voice pitching even higher.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m working on my car.” I answered, evenly, trying to ignore her presence all together.

“Now? Bella will be here in half an hour. You need to change into something nice.” The little pixie exclaimed, emphasizing the last word. Taking in my current outfit, she shot me an annoyed and disgusted look. What was she expecting me to wear? A designer outfit while working on my car ... seriously, I was neither stupid nor that vain ... unlike her.

“I’ll help you, if you want me to.”

“No thank you. I think I’m old enough to dress myself.” I declined her generous offer, rolling my eyes in annoyance, but keeping my head down, so she couldn’t see it. Knowing that she wouldn’t leave unless I would come with her, I put down the tools, and closed the hood of the car. She led the way, and I reluctantly followed her.

On my way to our room I came across Jasper. He smirked slightly at my annoyed expression. “Do me a favour and use some of your gift on your little wife. She is getting on my last nerve.” I snapped at him.

“I could try ... but I doubt that it would work.” He replied, letting me feel his helplessness concerning this matter.

‘Poor guy ...’

“Hmpf,” I grumbled, but then I remembered that I hadn’t seen him for the past few hours. “Where have you been anyway?”

“Emmett and I went for a short hunt.” He simply said, shrugging his shoulders in a dismissive manner.

I was surprised. “Why? We all went hunting last night.”

“Alice and Edward had suggested it ... as an extra precaution.” He answered, sinking his head in sheer humiliation. I hated to see him like this, feeling and acting like he was a liability.

‘I will have a word with both of them later,’ I vowed to myself. ‘For making him feel weak and ashamed of himself ... once again ... he deserves so much better ...’

“And Emmett came along to keep me company.” He added quickly.

“Extra precaution ...” I mumbled incoherently. I longed to comfort him, but I knew with all the sensitive ears in the house, I couldn’t do it with words. So I reached out and gently stroked his cheek instead, sending him my love and sympathy along with my touch. He smiled timidly, but didn’t say a word. We often had these silent conversations, not actually needing words to express what we were feeling or thinking. And considering his special gift words were hardly necessary to begin with.

I turned around, walking straight down the hall towards the room Emmett and I shared. I could hear the shower running, smiling to myself in anticipation. I had planned to only take a quick shower, and then change into something nice as Alice had demanded. But now my mind was suddenly taking a different course.

‘Combining necessity with pleasure, mmmh …’

“I don’t think there is time for that.” Jasper called after me.

“Mind your own business!” I growled playfully at him, before slamming the door shut behind me. I could still hear Jasper laughing heartily, while he was making his way downstairs, and I couldn’t suppress a smile myself. At least he was in a better mood now, with his mind diverted from his earlier depression.

‘I am always eager to please ... and speaking of pleasing ...’

I quickly disposed of my clothes and went into our private bathroom. Emmett stood with his back to me under the spray of water, in all his naked glory. Of course, he’d already sensed that I was near, but he didn’t turn around. He knew perfectly well that I loved to admire his muscular and yummy backside, almost as much as other parts of his gorgeous body. I slid open the glass door of the shower, and stepped in behind him.

“Need some assistance?” I purred into Emmett’s ear, letting my hands trail down from his neck to his ass, squeezing it lightly. That action earned me a low growl, which sent shivers down my spine. I knew how this would end, and the knowledge of the things to come made my whole body tremble in anticipation.

Emmett slowly turned around, taking me into his strong arms, leaning down to kiss me passionately. “Always ...” He moaned into my mouth, letting his strong hands wander over me body, teasing me in all the right places.

“We have to hurry.” I whispered, shakily.

“No problem.” He replied, smirking at me, before he continued to worship my body, good and proper.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Only twenty minutes later we both were clean, dried and dressed up, finally ready to join the other family members downstairs. I actually felt more relaxed now, like I always did after making love to my mate – happy and sated. While we had been putting on our clothes Emmett had made me promise again to behave myself ... for Bella’s sake. I’d agreed of course, not wanting to disappoint or anger my mate. I would do almost anything in order to see him happy. And even though I didn’t care much about Bella in general, I didn’t want her to think that I hated her, because really I didn’t – not after realizing how much happiness she’d brought to the whole family – but especially to my Emmett. Who could hate a person for doing something like that?

‘Right on time ...’ I thought slyly when I heard the familiar sound of Bella’s truck coming to a halt outside.

When Edward and Bella came through the door, we all greeted her with a cheerful chorus of, “Happy birthday!”

The shock in her face was simply priceless. I almost laughed out loud, but I caught myself just in time. Bella openly gaped around the room, taking everything in what Alice had done in her frenzied preparation for this evening. Alice had really overdone it. Bella was blushing as always, but there was also a slight frown on her face, telling me that she felt more uncomfortable than actually embarrassed. She tried to hide it as best as she could, but it was pretty obvious to me that she didn’t want to be here ... at least not to celebrate her birthday, not like that. I pitied her for being dragged into this against her will, and couldn’t help myself for being a little angry with Edward for forcing her to do something she apparently didn’t want to do. It was her birthday after all. Shouldn’t that mean that it was up to her to decide what to do, and how to do it?

‘Apparently not ... Way to go, Edward ... always making the choices for her instead with her like she’d deserved it ... she is not a child ... at least not anymore...’

Just then I felt someone nudging me in the rips. It was Jasper. Going by the knowing look on his face he had sensed rising my anger, and he was trying to warn me. ‘Oops ...’ I quickly turned my head around, looking at Edward to see if he’d read my mind. But his focus was solely on Bella at the moment, so apparently he hadn’t noticed my slip up. Or he had simply decided to ignore my jibe. ‘Thank God!’

“Thanks.” I breathed in Jasper’s direction, and he just nodded imperceptibly.

Carlisle and Esme moved forward to congratulate Bella, and I could hear Carlisle whisper, “Sorry about this, Bella. We couldn’t rein Alice in.”

I chuckled lightly under my breath, and so did Jasper beside me. Bella smiled at all of us, politely as always, trying not to appear ungrateful. For a second there her eyes met mine and could see something different in her eyes. Normally, she avoided me as much as I avoided her, but today she smiled at me timidly but genuinely, with a glint of hope in her eyes, before she quickly diverted her eyes somewhere else. ‘Wow ... I truly had been a bitch ... for her acting like this ...maybe I should give her a chance after all ...’

“You haven’t changed at all,” Emmett said with mock disappointment. “I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always.”

“Thanks a lot, Emmett.” Bella replied sarcastically, blushing even deeper. My mate just laughed and stepped forward to hug her as always a little too tight. “That’s my little sister. Happy birthday, Bella.”

“Thanks, big brother.” Bella gasped, trying to breathe normally.

Emmett finally let go of her, scratching his head in slight embarrassment. “Hmmm ... I have to step out for a second ... Don’t do anything funny while I’m gone.”

“I’ll try.” Bella snorted.

Emmett left to install our combined birthday present – a new stereo for her truck. To be honest, I was a little disappointed not being the one to do it. Come to think of it, I really would have liked to get my hands on her truck for some other upgrades as well. But considering our less than close relationship, I’ve never dared to ask Bella for her permission.

“Time to open presents,” Alice chirped, barely able to contain herself anymore. She put her hand under Bella’s elbow, towing her along to the table with the cake and the birthday presents. Why Alice had bothered with a whole birthday cake was upon me, but maybe she wanted all of us to eat a piece of it too, so that Bella wouldn’t have to eat alone. At least that would explain the stack of glass plates piled up next to the cake. I shuddered at the sheer thought of it. Unlike Emmett I wasn’t too keen to experience human food.

“Alice, I told you I didn’t want anything ...” Bella groaned.

“True, but I didn’t listen,” Alice chirped, grinning smugly. God, I wished Bella would smack her right in the face for being so arrogant and manipulative, but of course she didn’t. Even if ... she would only hurt herself in the process. And besides, Bella wasn’t the violent kind of type, quite the contrary. I couldn’t even remember her ever swearing.

“Open it.” Alice encouraged, after she giving Bella the first package. I knew it would be empty, because it was the box that used to house the stereo, Emmett was installing right now.

“Um ... thanks.” Bella muttered, confused, when she’d opened it to find nothing inside.

I laughed at her expression, and so did Jasper. “It’s a stereo for your truck,” he explained. “Emmett’s installing it right now so that you can’t return it.”

Bella cracked a smile, glancing shortly at Alice, before she said. “Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie,” and then she turned her head towards the door to call more loudly. “Thanks, Emmett!”

His booming laughter triggered her own, and then we all joined in, laughing more out of relief than actual joy, because Bella apparently had forgiven us, for buying her something for her birthday despite her former lack of enthusiasm and her unusual reluctance to accept any kind of attention. I could see a little bit of the tension leave her face and her body.

“Open mine and Edward’s next,” Alice ordered, bouncing up and down in excitement. Emmett was back by now. He was standing just as close to Bella as the rest of us, not wanting to miss anything.

Bella shot Edward a short but significant look, reminding him sternly, “You promised.”

“I didn’t spend a dime,” he assured her, brushing a strand of hair from her face. 

Bella sighed in defeat, but took the package out of Alice’s hand. She stuck her finger under the edge of the wrapping paper and jerked it under the tape.

“Shoot,” Bella muttered, pulling her finger out and examined it intently. Apparently she’d completely forgotten the company she was in at the moment.

I could immediately smell the scent of fresh human blood, and so could every other vampire in the room. Out of reflex to withstand the temptation I stopped breathing all together, but apparently Jasper hadn’t done the same.

It all happened so fast, that I was sure that Bella didn’t even realize what was going on around her at first. I could hear Edward roaring ‘NO!’, throwing himself in front of Bella, trying to block Jasper’s relentless advance on her. I was shocked for a second to react in any way. Not because of Jasper’s reaction – that was only a natural response in our kind – but because of Edward’s. He pushed Bella out of the way, hard enough that she actually flew across the table, taking everything on it down with her, as she fell to the ground, landing in a mess of shattered glass.

In the next second Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind, locking him into his massive steel grip. Yes, my mate was physically stronger than my brother, but given the circumstances he had a hard time to keep himself together. I knew that the scent of Bella’s blood was getting to him to some extent, but apparently his mission to protect his little sister kept him sane enough to react accordingly. Jasper struggled wildly in Emmett’s arms, desperate to get free. Edward was crouched in front of her, ready to react. His eyes were pitch black, and his face was contorted in a mixture of pain, fear and hunger. Both of them were snarling and growling at each other ... acting on pure instinct.

It took me a few moments, and some effort, to tear my eyes away from the newly created wound on Bella’s right upper arm. But I managed to finally snap out of my trance, moving forward to help Emmett. Together we dragged Jasper outside, through the backdoor. I carefully avoided getting to close to his mouth. His eyes were wild, black from hunger, which I thought was odd, because he’d fed so much these past two days. As soon as we were outside, I breathed in the clear air, and so did Emmett. But he didn’t dare to let go of Jasper, not yet anyway.

I kneeled in front of my brother. “Jasper, honey, you need to snap out of it.” I said, using my soothing kind of voice. I still kept a safe distance, afraid he would attack me next, if I moved too close. “Jasper? It’s me, Rose. Can you hear me? Jasper, you need to breathe ... take a deep breath, it’s okay ... calm down.”

His whole body trembled under the force of his emotions. I suddenly realized that he must have felt not only his own emotions, but all of ours as well. Fear and anger, combined with the bloodlust of six vampires ... No wonder he’d reacted that way.

I kept talking to him, trying to calm him down with my comforting words. Slowly but surely, he calmed down. And then he finally stopped struggling all together. Emmett relaxed his hold on him to some extent, but didn’t let go of him completely, not quite sure if it was safe enough to release his brother.

“Jasper, look at me. It’s okay ... nothing bad happened. Bella is okay ...” I said, knowing quite well that it was a lie, sort of. But at least he hadn’t been the one doing the damage. No, this one had been all on Edward. I could hear the voices from the others inside the house. Esme had excused herself shortly after we’d left, but she didn’t join us out here. Alice, Edward and Carlisle had moved Bella into Carlisle’s study, where Carlisle was currently taking care of Bella’s injuries.

At last Jasper lifted his head and locked eyes with me. I gasped audibly. All I could see and sense was a great amount of self-loathing and humiliation, and to my utter astonishment, a great deal of determination. Abruptly, before I could say or do anything, Jasper managed to free himself out of Emmett grip, standing up. He shared one last look with me, and then he took flight into the nearby woods.

I stared after him, lost for words, barely noticing that Emmett had moved closer to me. He put his arms around me, holding me tight. He was still trembling slightly, still under shock ... but I could tell that he was trying to stay strong for me.

“He will be back,” Emmett whispered into my ear, trying to reassure me, to soothe me with words. I turned around, burying my head in his chest with a sob. “It’s going to be okay, honey. He will be back soon. Just give him some time to cool down.”

“I’m not so sure about that … you didn’t see his face …” I mumbled. I tried very hard to shed this feeling of dread, but deep down I knew, that I wouldn’t see my brother for a long time. For the moment I decided to keep my fears to myself, though.

Just then, to make things worse, Alice and Edward joined us. “Where is he?” Edward demanded to know, and not in a nice way. His tone of voice dripped of hate, disgust and vengeance ... like he would stand a chance against Jasper, when it came down to a real fight.

I turned around to glare at him and Alice. Their features were much alike, and anger was building up inside of me.

“Don’t say it …” Edward growled at me. And I didn’t, but I simply couldn’t help myself to let him know through my thoughts where I stood.

‘I told you so!’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Back to the present …

 

Jasper POV

I parked Bella’s truck right in front of her house, in what I presumed from the shape of the tire tracks was her usual parking space. The Chief’s car was indeed not there, and there weren’t any lights on in the house or on the front porch, easily indicating that the house was in fact completely vacated.

I’ve never been here before, but I could already tell even just seeing the house from the outside, that it really was a home. Not a mansion like the Cullen’s house, big and white, and oh so clean even from the outside … no this two-storied house was the complete opposite. It was much smaller, and looked even older which it probably wasn’t. I could determine that it was indeed in need of some repairs, like parts of the roof should be replaced and it could certainly use a new painting job. But I liked it just the way it was, because it looked real not phony. I could already picture the inside of the house in my mind, and was quite curious to see if my imagination was matching the reality or not. The interior had to be cozy and warm, like a true home should be. Not pristine and cold … like the Cullen house …

‘What was the human saying? Ah, yes … Show me how you live, and I will tell you who you are … yes, I’m fairly sure seeing the inside of her house, would tell me something more about Bella …’

We both got out of her truck at the same time, although I rather would have opened the door for her like the gentleman I was. But something told me that Bella wouldn’t have reacted too kindly to that precise gesture. Because if I’d remembered correctly – and I did – Edward had done that sort of thing all the time, and I wouldn’t do anything, at least not on purpose, that would remind her of him. Considering what she’d told me in the car, and regarding her expressions and feelings in general whenever I mentioned Edward, it was probably wise to avoid any subjects concerning him. At least for the time being until she was ready to talk. Of course, I was very curious to hear more about what had happened after I left, but I knew she needed time and I would give her that and more. The whole thing was obviously still a sore subject for her, and even though she was trying very hard to put up a brave face, I could sense the pain searing underneath her mask. And who could blame her? I felt pretty much the same … abandoned by the same people, the people that had claimed to love both of us.

‘To peas in a pot … that’s what we are …’ I smiled to myself dryly.

Just then, a strange and unpleasant scent hit me full force. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I wasn’t able to identify the scent, but it reminded me of decaying animal carcasses or something like that … something foul for sure. Apparently, Bella wasn’t able to smell it too, even though the smell was very strong, because she showed no sign of repulsion whatsoever. I quickly regained control of my facial expression, before she could read the disgust in my face, and misinterpret it.

Ignoring the stench, I followed Bella to the front door at a human pace. She rummaged in her pocket for a while, and then pulled out a set of keys. I stifled a laugh when she fumbled with the lock for a bit longer than necessary. She finally succeeded in her mission to unlock the door, and pushed down the handle. The door creaked slightly, and I expected her to enter the house without any further delay. But she didn’t. Instead, she stopped in her tracks, turning around to face me. All of the sudden she seemed nervous, but I had no clue why.

“Do you want to come in, Jasper?” Bella asked hesitantly, biting her lower lip. I almost retorted that I didn’t need an invitation, like some fictional vampires, but didn’t get around doing that. I was stunned into silence when waves of awkwardness and uncertainty hit me.

Why was she acting like this all of the sudden? Not half hour ago she’d tried to convince me that she trusted me, that she did have more faith in my self-control than any of my former family members. And on top of that, she’d planned to return to the Cullen house with me after picking up her stuff. So what was her problem now?

‘Maybe she still worried about being alone with me … before Peter had been around the whole time … which is just crazy … he is the one who still dined on her kind not me … or maybe she is unsure whether she should invite an almost stranger … a man she barely knew into the house … without her father’s permission? Well, that’s a funny thought! Like, I was trying to seduce her or something … Well, she is beautiful, really beautiful … and the way she bites her lip, when she’s nervous … that’s just cute … and the warmth of her skin … I’d like to feel that again … to hold her in my arms again … feeling her body pressing against mine … Head out of the gutter, Major! This is Bella for crying out loud. She doesn’t think of me that way … and neither do I … I can’t … I shouldn’t … I DON’T …’ I argued with myself, completely disregarding the fact that Bella was still waiting for my response.

“Jasper?” Bella called my name tentatively, effectively pulling me out of my reverie. My vision was kind of hazy, which was weird considering I was a vampire, but not unheard-of. My mind was still muddled by the mental pictures of me and Bella holding each other in a tight, sort of intimate embrace … and even knowing these kinds of thoughts were not only wrong, but most certainly inappropriate, I had to confess that they had a certain kind effect on me. A warm, tingly kind of feeling spread through my body, I felt myself harden … but I tried my best to shake it off.

‘This is neither the time nor the place …’ I rebuked myself.

I finally refocused my vision, locking my eyes with hers. I was stunned for a second when I saw that Bella’s eyes were wide in shock and that she had taken a cautious, but deliberate step back. 

‘Shit!’

I realized at once that despite my earlier promise to keep my emotions in check around her, I’d obviously failed completely to accomplish that goal … again. My improper thoughts about Bella – as fleetingly as they might have been – had obviously influenced my outer appearance. Even without looking in a mirror, I knew that my eyes had changed color from their usual gold to a deep black, a surefire indication that a vampire was either hungry or horny. No wonder, Bella had reacted this way. She might not know that lust could have that effect on us, but she surely knew that hunger was one of the reasons behind it. She was probably thinking I was about to snap and attack her again.

For the first time today I detected signs of fear emanating from her. Her heartbeat sped up, and I could smell the scent of adrenalin spreading through her veins, taunting my inner beast which was already trying to claw its way out.

I tensed up. I knew going into the house with her right now would be a huge mistake. Inside her luscious scent would be lingering in every corner and it would be much more potent than what I’d had to endure on our short ride together in her truck. Strangely, it did not make me want to bite her before but now I wasn’t so sure. I had to get away from her before the monster in me would get the upper hand. And although I felt in some sort of control, I wouldn’t take any chances … not with her.

I carefully backed away from her, putting more distance between her and me. “I’m sorry, Bella. I … I need to go … hunting.” I whispered, but loud enough that she could hear me.

Bella just looked at me, confusion written all over her face. She didn’t reply anything, just standing in the entrance, not making any move, which was probably a wise choice. I didn’t know what I would have done, if she’d reached out for me again like she’d done before. 

“I’ll be back, though, I promise.” I added, feeling guilty and embarrassed for acting like a coward. She frowned slightly, but nodded in agreement.

“Later then … I guess.” She muttered, turning her back on me, and went into the house.

I was already on my way into the woods, when I could hear her slamming the door. She was angry with me.

‘Fuck … fuck … fuck …’


	9. Pulling back the curtain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little interlude …
> 
> Enjoy!

Bella POV

 

I went into the house in a kind of trance-like state, pushing the door shut behind me with a little too much force, unintentionally though. The sudden noise startled me somewhat, but it helped me otherwise to snap out of this uncanny stupor. I stumbled forward in the darkness on my search for the light switch, glad not to fall down in the process. Sure, I wasn’t that clumsy anymore, but that didn’t mean that silly accidents were a physical impossibility. After all, I was only human and things like that used to happen.

When I finally found the switch, I turned on the light in the hallway, and made my way straight into the kitchen. In there I ungracefully slumped down into the nearest chair. The need to sit down was pretty overwhelming all of the sudden.

‘What a day!’ I sighed heavily, crossing my arms on the table and resting my head on them, with my eyes shut. I felt utterly exhausted, more emotionally worn-out than actually physically tired despite the lack of sleep last night. I’ve probably gotten used to it by now, considering it had been like that for the last five months.

Feeling the way I did right this moment – emotionally unstable – I truly didn’t envy Jasper for his gift, no quite the contrary actually. I was once again impressed how he was able to deal with it, on a daily basis nonetheless, being forced to feel what other people – human and vampire alike – were feeling on top of his own emotions. That was why I hadn’t blamed him for losing his temper earlier. I thought considering the circumstances and his fragile state of mind it was a natural, a reasonable reaction.

But even though I had no idea why Jasper had run off, I was glad to have some time to be on my own right now, realizing that I actually needed the opportunity to come to terms with all that happened since I’d left the house this morning. I didn’t know how much time I had before Jasper would come back to pick me up, but I would make good use of the time given to me, to sort some things out at least before returning to the Cullen house with him. I was actually surprised how well I had been handling the whole situation, not only seeing Jasper again but meeting another strange vampire, as well as the amount of information they both had bestowed upon me …

Oh yes, I really wanted, no actually needed to go back with Jasper, because I still had more questions, and who knew how long they would stick around before they would vanish again. My heart ached at the mere thought of being left alone once more … I didn’t think I would be able to handle it very well. My abandonment issues were still something I hadn’t been able to work out yet.

‘Maybe we could stay in contact … via e-mail or phone calls …’ I mused. And even the a part of me was desperately clinging to that idea, I decided to push the thought away for now, to ponder over at a later time. 

Strangely, despite my latest dislike of the word ‘promise’ I was sure that Jasper had meant what he’d said, that he indeed would be coming back. Like me, he probably just needed some alone-time too. Even without possessing his peculiar gift it was pretty obvious to me that Jasper was a mess … emotionally unstable like me, which might explain his latest ‘freak-out’ … to some extent.

I was still pretty confused about what had just gone wrong outside. One minute I was inviting Jasper into my home, feeling a little nervous about his reaction towards our simple standard of living in contrast to the Cullen’s extravagant lifestyle he was used to, and then suddenly, without any forewarning whatsoever his beautiful golden eyes had changed color in mere seconds.

I couldn’t suppress a shudder running down my spine remembering the sight of Jasper’s dark orbs burning into mine. My first reaction was probably normal, expected under the circumstances. I was scared … but strangely the fear had quickly morphed into plain shock. I still didn’t know what had caused the sudden change in his demeanor.

Of course, I’d seen a vampire with black eyes before. Every time Edward hadn’t fed for a longer period of time, his eyes had darkened as well. But not as rapidly though … and more importantly his eyes didn’t used to sparkle like Jasper’s just had. I couldn’t help myself but to marvel over the beauty of them, despite the danger they most likely symbolized.

‘I wonder what kind of color they originally were … probably blue … considering he has blond hair…’ I mused for a moment, but then I shook my head vigorously, in order to get rid of this interesting, but mostly distracting thought.

Of course, I knew that I should have been scared because I knew exactly what the color of black vampire eyes meant … hunger, well more accurately thirst. But I just couldn’t bring myself to feel that way about Jasper. Somehow deep down inside of me I knew, that he would never hurt me, that he was strong enough to resist if he wanted to … like the rest of the Cullens could. Jasper wouldn’t try to bite me. Of that I was certain. And showing how he’d just reacted outside, he was willing to put my safety first – especially after having learnt his lesson the hard way – and knowing the consequences …

And yet, what made me wonder was the fact that I knew that he couldn’t have been thirsty in the first place, since he’d just hunted half an hour ago, or so I’d presumed, and I had no open wound to tempt him like I’d done on my birthday party. But what other reason than bloodlust could have caused such a reaction in him? I had no answer to that question. But whatever the reason was, I knew that I could trust him not to hurt me, otherwise I wouldn’t allow him to be alone with me. I was not suicidal, a little naive maybe, but certainly not suicidal. I knew I was safe with him.

Suddenly an old, almost forgotten memory came to my mind …

 

\+ + + Flashback + + +

 

I lay on the bed in total darkness, staring at the ceiling. It was pretty late, but I couldn’t sleep. Time seemed to have lost any meaning to me in the last two days. I slept when I was tired, I ate when I felt hungry … and even though it was without a doubt the nicest room I’ve ever stayed in, I was starting to loathe this hotel suite. Being stuck in here without being able to do anything else but waiting was the worst thing imaginable for me at the moment. I felt trapped and useless, and on top of that extremely guilty.

Just half an hour ago Edward had finally called, telling us that he, Emmett and Carlisle had unfortunately lost track of James somewhere in northern Canada and that they were now on their way back to Forks, to meet up with Esme and Rosalie, who were currently keeping an eye on my father. I had been waiting for this phone call all day long, probably driving both Alice and Jasper crazy with my restless behavior, my never-ending questions, but I just couldn’t help it.

Alice had tried her best to soothe me, to reassure me with words, but strangely, right now I was more grateful for Jasper’s presence than hers. Even though he didn’t say much, I knew perfectly well that he was using his peculiar gift on me. He kept sending me calming waves in regular intervals, in order to help me keeping it together. And it worked, at least to some extent. But apart from his little assistance, I also got the impression that he held back. For some unknown reason he didn’t let me experience the full amount of his power, but I was very grateful for that. I knew that I needed to feel what I was feeling, and not being sedated.

Even so, I didn’t feel much better even after the phone call from Edward … well not as much as I’d hoped I would. Sure, I was relieved to hear that nothing had happened to any of them, that they were safe and unharmed. It had been one of my main concerns the whole time I’d been hauled up here. But all the verbal reassurances aside, I didn’t feel completely appeased. I still felt shitty about the way Charlie and I had parted, for the words I’d thrown at him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d never forgive me for behaving like that … hurting him the same way my mother had done …

Tears began to roll down my face, and I clutched the comforter around me very tightly. I felt so lonely and lost at the moment, longing for someone to comfort me, to hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. But Alice had gone hunting, and the only person available was Jasper, who was in the other room, probably watching TV to pass the time. The whole time since we’d arrived here he’d kept a safe distance, never making any contact with me. We’ve barely shared more than two words, and of course there had been no physical contact. Not that I longed him to hug me, but …

Suddenly I was pulled out of my reverie by a light knock on the door, followed by Jasper’s voice calling my name through the door. “Bella, may I come in?”

“Yes,” I replied, trying to get control of myself again. I didn’t want him to see me cry. It was bad enough that he’d probably been able to sense my distress from the other room.

The door opened slowly, and I could make out the tall and slender shape of Jasper, standing kinda rigidly in the doorframe. “What’s wrong, Bella? Why are you crying?” He asked, sounding deeply concerned.

“I was just thinking about my father.” I replied, trying to choke back a sob but failing miserably.

“He’s safe. Esme and Rose are with him as we speak. He is in no danger.” He reassured me, taking two more steps into the room, but not daring to move any closer, cautious to keep his distance as always.

“I know …” I muttered, sniffing. “It’s just …”

“Please, Bella. Don’t worry about anything. It’ll all be over soon, I’ll promise.” Jasper sounded so sincere but somehow also pleading that I couldn’t doubt him. For a moment there I could have sworn that he was actually struggling with himself, yearning to close the distance between us and just taking me into his strong arms, hugging me, to provide the comfort that I so intensely craved. But that was probably just my imagination, running wild under the stress, because he didn’t make a move. I let out a deep-felt sigh, snuggling deeper into the bed.

For a few moments the room was quiet, awkwardly silent actually, but thankfully it didn’t last long.

“Do you want me to help you sleep?” Jasper asked warily. He didn’t actually wait for my response, because I could already feel his calming influence washing over me. I relished the feeling of peace and serenity, realizing that not only did it make me feel better but it would provide the vampire some needed comfort as well.

“Yes, please … thank you.” I murmured, sleepily. Then a wave of lethargy hit me, and my eyes dropped shut.

“Anything for you, Darlin’ …” Jasper whispered in the darkness, closing the door softly behind. Even though I was almost out cold, I did hear him. With a smile on my face I fell into a peaceful, untroubled sleep … for a change.

 

\+ + + End of flashback + + +

 

I blinked and opened my eyes, smiling but frowning slightly at the same time. I remembered that particular night at the hotel in Phoenix very clearly. Even though it had been some time ago I could still recall every detail of that night. Jasper’s calming influence, his soothing voice, his genuine concern about my well-being and my feelings – which wasn’t that much of a surprise considering that he was an empath – but most of all I remembered his last words.

Their significance had been a huge mystery to me back then, as well as now, given that he hadn’t shown any interest to get to know me better before and after that night. It had always pained me, because all the other family members, well except for Rosalie, had welcomed me with open arms. I still wondered why both them had always shown me the cold shoulder. Unfortunately, Edward had neglected to go into details when I asked him about it. I knew he had some insight information due to his gift, but he hadn’t shared his knowledge with me, or at least not enough to answer my all of my questions. But on the other side I was glad that he’d respected their privacy … if that was the reason why he’d kept their reasons from me. If anything, I should have found the courage to confront them myself. Or at least Jasper, because Rosalie was scary as hell sometimes and that was saying something, considering they were all vampires.

Anyhow … at the time I hadn’t given it too much thought. Being hunted by a deranged, bloodthirsty vampire who’d taken great pleasure in torturing and almost succeeding in killing me, my mind had been pretty much occupied with other things than Jasper’s words or his unexpected, caring behavior. Only once or twice after our return to Forks and my long recovery, the thought of talking to Jasper about it had crossed my mind, but somehow I had never gotten the chance to put it into action. Partly because Edward had barely left my side after the incident with James’ coven, feeling the need to protect me even more than before. And the other reason had been that Jasper had gone back to his old behavior of staying away and ignoring me.

Of course I had been immensely happy that Edward had decided to stay at my side, even though he’d considered leaving me for a moment, but even then I could already tell that something significant had changed between him and me … and oddly even between Jasper and me as well. I still didn’t know why, but from time to time I’d glanced at him when no one was paying attention, carefully keeping my feelings under control not to give myself away. My curiosity had been awakened and I’d longed to get to know the mysterious, silent brother, who’d always seemed to be hovering at the sidelines and never truly participating like he wasn’t a true member of the family …

Maybe that was the reason why I was so determined to go back to the house with him. Now that the opportunity had presented itself to finally get to know Jasper, I would not let it pass … not again.

Oddly, even though I’d never gotten the chance to get to know Jasper very well – or at all – I had always felt safe in his presence. Despite Edward’s constant subtle warnings about Jasper’s alleged incompetence to withstand the urge to bite me, nothing had happened the time we’d spent alone together in the hotel room. Come to think of it, I’d felt even more secure with Jasper, and all of the other Cullens, than I had felt with Edward sometimes. Back then I’d felt awful for even thinking that way, but now the notion totally made sense to me. After all, my blood had been especially enticing to Edward, not to his brother, or anyone else. And then there was his constant reluctance to go further than holding hands and a chaste kiss from time to time … I was a teenager, for Christ’s sake. I wanted to do more than that. Maybe I wasn’t ready to have full-on sex yet, but a good make-out session every now and then … that would be nice.

Whatever …

Jasper hadn’t shown any sign of distress today, when he was physically close to me, when was hugging me, when he was holding my hand longer than necessary … and oddly, neither had I. 

Thinking back to the evening of my disastrous birthday party, made my heart race and ache. I would never forget the alarming sight of not only one pair of black, ravenous eyes but seven. Yes seven, because even Carlisle had been affected at least to some extent by the scent of my blood. Suddenly realization hit me. It was like a veil had been lifted, and I finally was able to see the truth. Edward’s eyes had been the first to change color. He had been the weak one the whole time, not Jasper.

‘Talk about double standard …’ I thought sullenly.

In fact, I was pretty sure that Jasper’s loss of control that night had been caused by all of them. He must have felt all of their bloodlust, and combined with his own, he certainly didn’t stand a chance. Unable to shield himself from everybody’s feelings, not to mention being around a singer, even though not his own, but still … no wonder he’d snapped.

‘Poor Jasper …’

True, I’ve never blamed Jasper, but that’s because I thought it would be unfair to blame him for acting on his natural instinct. As stupid as it might sound, I would never have held Edward accountable for it either. So why should I’ve blamed Jasper for something he had no control over, especially when he wasn’t the guilty party? After all, I had been the one who’d cut herself on a simple sheet of paper … in a room full of vampires. If there was someone to blame for all this mess, it was me.

But with this new insight – and I didn’t need any confirmation because I just knew it was the truth – the whole situation seemed to be that much worse, especially with the new information Peter had provided. Understandably, Jasper had run off to seek refuge at the one place where he knew that he would be accepted and not be judged for his actions. A safe haven …

I was mad, but not because what Jasper had done. I did understand the reason behind his sudden, yet rash decision to leave. But I didn’t underhand the way the rest of his family had behaved. How was it possible that none of them, not even his wife, had tried to make any kind of contact with him over the last five months? He was supposed to be part of the family. Shouldn’t Alice have seen where Jasper had gone? Well, on the other hand, she hadn’t had a premonition about my birthday party either, which I had been a huge surprise for me at the time. Apparently her gift wasn’t as reliable as she’d always made me believe. I just hoped for Jasper’s sake that that was the reason, because if she’d seen him and hadn’t gone after him … 

‘Arghhh …’ I groaned, shaking my head angrily, trying to get rid of these depressing thoughts. I wasn’t willing to believe that Alice would act that way. That she was that malicious. The thought of that kind of betrayal made me sick and unbelievably sad. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially someone as sensitive as Jasper. I knew from my own experience how devastating it was to be left behind by the same people who had sworn to protect and to love you. And I guessed that for someone like Jasper it would be twice as bad. Right here and now, sitting at the kitchen table, I made a silent promise to myself, that I would try harder to keep my emotions in check. Anything to make it easier for him to deal with the truth … whatever the truth would be.

Suddenly my stomach growled loudly, reminding me despite my lack of appetite these days, that it was indeed time for some sustenance. True, I was pretty hungry by now considering I hadn’t eaten anything else than the granola bar I’d grabbed this morning. But with all the recent drama my mind was on anything else but food. With a little to no enthusiasm I stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter, picking up an apple. This would be enough to sate my hunger for the moment. I didn’t plan to have anymore more. After all, Peter had promised to bring me some Italian food back from Seattle. I was really looking forward to that.

Of course, I knew that this wasn’t the only reason why he’d gone to the larger city. But like I’d told Jasper on the ride here, it was sort of okay with me. And it was. And honestly, what could I have done to prevent Peter from hunting? Nothing. He was a vampire after all and like any other creature he had to feed sometime. I was just glad that he did it somewhere else than Forks. And I also took some comfort in the fact that according to Jasper his friends only feasted on the human scum …

I took one last bite of the apple, before throwing the core into the garbage.

One thing was interesting though. Despite his obvious lack of self-confidence Jasper had kept up with the Cullen lifestyle after he left the family to live with Peter and his mate. I could imagine that it wasn’t easy for him, considering his friends didn’t share his choice of diet, which was further proof for me, that Jasper was indeed stronger than he believed he was. Apparently he just needed someone to tell him that. Although, I was pretty sure Peter had tried that already.

Thinking about Peter made me smile again. I wondered how he’d known that Italian was my favorite food. Had Jasper told him that? I doubted that. There was something weird about this red-eyed vampire, apart from the fact that he was sticking to their natural diet and still able to walk around humans without attacking them. I felt strangely comfortable in his presence, and utterly intrigued. I couldn’t wait to go back to pick his brain.

On my way to the living room I saw that light on the answering machine was blinking. I went over to the phone, and pushed the button.

“You have one new message,” the mechanical voice announced, followed by the annoying beeping sound and the familiar voice of my father. “Hey, kiddo, it’s your Dad … obviously. I’m just calling to see how you’re doing. I’ve tried your cell already, but apparently you left without it. It’s cold out here … but we are having fun. Until now Harry and Billy had more luck than me … but there is always tomorrow. Call me, when you get home. Bye.” He sounded cheerful, but underneath I could detect his ever-present worry.

‘I am eighteen years old, an adult for crying out loud. And here I am checking in with my father like a ten-year-old. This is ridiculous.’ I fumed, silently, while I retrieved my cell phone from the living room table, where I left it last night. Checking the display, I could see that I had three missed calls and one text message … all from Charlie. I shook my head in exasperation. Of course, I loved Charlie, but this constantly-checking-up-on-me behavior of his was beginning to get on my nerves. Like I was up to do something stupid? Well, maybe today I had been … sort of … but it had turned out okay, hadn’t it?

‘Well … the day is not over yet …’ I smiled mischievously, while I dialed my dad’s number on my cell. He picked up after the second ring.

“Hey dad, it’s me.” I greeted him cheerfully, trying very hard to hide my true feelings from him. ‘Good practice for later …’ Truth be told, I was more than irritated with my father at the moment. But then again I knew that I had to appease him, if I didn’t want him to come home early and thereby ruining my plans for the rest of this evening and the next day.

We only talked for a few minutes. I reassured him that I was fine, that I’d just forgotten to take my cell phone with me when I left the house … which was actually the truth. Although I hated lying to him, I told him that I intended to go to bed early this evening, therefore there would be no need to check in with me again. Charlie did seem to buy my rather pitiful excuse, not asking any unpleasant questions. Thank God. I could hardly tell him that I was about to spend the night with two strange men … let alone two vampires. He would think that I’ve finally lost it.

Worse than that, he would probably give me an earful, reminding me what the Cullens’ sudden disappearing act had done to me. True, Charlie had never really liked Edward, but after everything that had happened he would probably kill him on sight … or rather he would try. And even though Charlie always had a fondness for Carlisle, his opinion of the good doctor seemed to have changed as well. Not that he spoke badly of him, but I could sense his aversion underneath his composure every time the name Cullen was mentioned … which was why I decided not to mention Jasper’s return.

‘Sometimes it is healthier to keep secrets from the people you love …’

And anyway, I could hardly tell Charlie the truth, so I kept my mouth shut. And maybe I didn’t even have to tell Charlie anything, because, let’s face it, Jasper probably wasn’t going stay for long, even though I rather hoped he would.

Before hanging up, I wished Charlie good luck and he promised to bring back some fish, even if it wouldn’t be his own catch, which made me laugh in response.

Being otherwise occupied, I hadn’t checked the time when I entered the house, but I assumed that I didn’t have much time left before Jasper would be back. Without further delay I quickly made my way upstairs to get ready for my stay with Jasper and Peter at the former Cullen mansion. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to sleep at all this night, as wound up as I was, but I thought it might be useful to pack up some things I would definitely need.

Up in my room I went straight to my closet, pulling out a small rucksack, I haven’t been using in quite a while … not since my move here, actually. I packed my pajamas, and some change of clothes for the next day. Then I went into the bathroom to retrieve my bag of toiletries and a towel, putting them on top of my clothes. I took a look around my room, thinking about what else I would need to bring along, except for my cell and the charger. I couldn’t think of anything. It wasn’t like I would have time to read, or at least I hoped not.

I didn’t know how, but strangely I knew that Jasper was back even before he announced his presence by tapping on my window.


	10. Open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next chapters will be about Bella’s sleepover at the former Cullen house. I hope you guys don’t expect too much action (or naughtiness) at this point. It’s still day one of their reunion after all … 
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Jasper POV

 

I didn’t go very far, just a couple hundred yards or so. Not only because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. It felt like an invisible force was hindering me from putting too much distance between Bella and myself. I had no idea what it was … probably just my guilt. And since I didn’t plan to go hunting, there was no real need to venture too deep into the woods anyway. All I needed was some fresh air, and some peace and quiet, and then I would be returning to Bella’s house.

I leaned against a large, massive tree, closing my eyes and taking in a few deep, though unnecessary breaths, in order to tame my beast, in hopes of regaining full control over myself again. It was working, slowly but surely, but I was still confused as hell about my earlier reaction.

‘It can’t be that am I lusting after Bella, can it? No, of course not … I couldn’t … more importantly I shouldn’t … because that would be wrong on so many levels … Yes, she is beautiful, very beautiful … and I like her … I always have … but that’s about it though … right?’ I reasoned with myself, trying to wrap my head around the possibility that it might actually be true. Of course, I wasn’t looking for a new relationship, especially not so soon after realizing that my marriage of 50 years was over, for good. My wife didn’t even have the stomach to confront me herself with the news. Clearly, I was damaged goods.

But on the other hand, I was only a man, not to mention a vampire, certain desires came naturally. ‘But that still doesn’t give you the right to lust after the first woman you come across …’ I scolded myself. And yet, I couldn’t deny the fact that I did feel something for her, something more … something that wasn’t there before.

But first and foremost I was hoping to earn her friendship. And to be honest I still wasn’t sure that she should grant me that. After all, I was responsible for the Cullens departure and consequently for her break-up with Edward. Yes, I had gotten her forgiveness, but I still didn’t believe that I deserved it. Forgiving me for the attempt I’d made on her life, and then for my rude behavior earlier today … Bella was too selfless for her own good. I just couldn’t betray her trust in me, not by behaving like a jerk …

I was still overwhelmed by the fact how well our reunion had gone, well except for the minor hiccups. Bella had shown no fear at all, or she had been hiding it very well. However, I’d gotten the distinct impression that she really wanted to get to know me, and Peter too. What was it about us that lured her in? I knew it wasn’t just our ‘good looks’, because Bella wasn’t that shallow. In fact, I’d felt the same kind of curiosity coming from her in the past, especially after we’d returned from Phoenix, but at the time I’d decided against getting to the bottom of things … for many reasons. True, I’d wanted to get to know better, but with Edward around, watching her every step, never leaving her alone, I hadn’t gotten the chance.

But the most amazing discovery was, that for the first time in a very long time I felt truly comforted, almost loved by someone. I’ve never imagined that person would be a human, especially not Bella. I hadn’t realized before today how much I longed for a place I could call home, a true home. Yes, I felt loved by both Peter and Charlotte, and I knew that they wouldn’t mind me staying with them, even if it meant forever. But I still felt like an intruder, despite the fact that we were family. I missed having a place that I could call my own. Yes, I was selfish that way.

I wanted Bella’s friendship, her trust … and I would be happy enough to get just that. She was the most amazing person I’ve ever met, so generous, loving, and kind. Not to mention that her emotions were the purest I’ve ever experienced. I would do anything to win her over as a friend. The first step would be to ask for her forgiveness for my earlier behavior … which seemed to be the theme of the day. I wasn’t sure how I should explain the reason behind it, since I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure why I’d reacted that way. And sharing my speculations would be way too awkward.

‘Well, no need to put this off any longer. It’s time to face the music …’ I told myself, walking slowly back to Bella’s home.

I stood outside her house for a few minutes longer, contemplating my options. I could tell that Bella was upstairs. And even though I knew that the more appropriate way would be to ring the doorbell, I decided against it. As I stood there underneath her window, looking at the nearby tree, I couldn’t help myself.

‘This is a bad idea …’ I rationalized, but my body seemed to have a mind of its own, since I was already half way up the tree before I’d finished the thought.

From the top I could see directly into Bella’s room. She was busy packing a small bag, and the sight of it gave me a much needed boost of confidence. ‘She hasn’t changed her mind … thank God …’

I lightly knocked on the window. To my utter astonishment she didn’t seemed to be startled by my sudden appearance. No, she wasn’t at all surprised, but apparently angry going by the slight frown on her face.

‘Fuck!’

Bella walked slowly over, opening the window. “What is it with you Cullens? Entering my house through the window … we do have a front door, you know.” Her voice was harsh, but I could see her eyes sparkling with humor. The half smile she gave me was genuine, a little playful even, which made me relax at once. I could handle a bit of irritation, but full-on anger … not so much.

“Oh, I know.” I retorted lightly, flinging myself inside her room. I landed safely on my feet, straightening up and taking a curious look around. It was a small room, and her scent was indeed very potent in here just like I’d expected. But it didn’t make me wanna bite her.

“And just for the record I was never a Cullen.” I added, stating a true fact.

“Whatever ….” She countered, rolling her eyes. “Hale then.”

“Much better … but I don’t go by that name any longer.” I said, even surprising myself with that admission. I hadn’t really thought about it yet, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew it would be the right step to take, a step forward into my new life, a life without the Cullen clan. I made a mental note to call J. Jenks on Monday to set up an appointment. Good thing, we were already in Washington, since his office was located in Seattle.

“So what is your name now?”

“Whitlock.” I answered proudly. “It is my real name, actually.”

“Whitlock? Hmm … Jasper Whitlock … I like it.” She murmured, seemingly lost in thought. A slight blush appeared on her face, like she was embarrassed or something. I couldn’t be sure though, because her emotions were once again hard to read, almost like she was trying to block me on purpose. But besides that, I liked the way my full name sounded coming out of her mouth, causing a warm, fuzzy feeling to spread through my entire body. But since I didn’t know the extent of her blocking ability, I did my best to shake it off. Better safe than sorry, right? I certainly didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. But going by her relative neutral expression, she hadn’t noticed anything.

“So, are you ready to go then?” I asked casually.

“Yes … oh wait a sec,” She replied, walking over to her vanity to grab her cell phone charger. She stowed it in the side pocket of her rucksack. “Now, I’m done. Let’s go.”

The excitement in her voice was catching, and I smiled at her. She returned my smile, and for a few moments we were trapped in each other’s gaze, probing, lingering, melting … But before I could do or say something stupid, I looked away abruptly, effectively breaking the spell between us. From the corner of my eye I could see that Bella was a bit mystified but nothing more. Which was a relief, but I still felt the need to lighten the mood.

“Through the window then?” I teased.

Bella shook her head, laughing out loud. God I loved that sound! “No way, Whitlock. We use the door like normal people.” She insisted, picking up the rucksack.

“Normal people?” I raised an eyebrow in question. Bella snorted in response, slapping me playfully on the shoulder. Of course, it didn’t hurt, but I could feel the same tingly sensation running through my body, just like before when we were holding hands. Why had a simple touch such a great effect on me? Was it her? Was it me? Was it the warmth of her body? Or was I too sensitive? Knowing I wouldn’t get any answers now, I stored them away for later.

Bella left the room first. I followed her quietly walking down the stairs, still kinda lost in my own thoughts. She grabbed her jacket and scarf on the way out, slipping into them quickly, before stepping through the door. I waited patiently for her to lock the door. Then she turned to face me, looking at me expectantly. “Shall we?”

“Sure.” I nodded, offering her my back. “Hop on.”

When she didn’t make a move, I turned around again. She stared at me, with a strange look on her face. “What’s wrong, Bella? If you don’t want to … I can still get the car.” I offered quickly. I could understand her hesitation. It probably reminded her too much of Edward. I knew that they used to ‘travel’ that way in the past.

“Nah, that’s not it.” She answered honestly, shaking her head.

“Then what?” I asked, warily.

She smiled warmly. “I don’t have a problem with you carrying me on your back, if that’s what you are thinking.” She sounded sincere. Then suddenly her gates were open again, and I could feel the honesty and trust behind her words. It warmed my dead heart, but I was still confused.

Bella could see that, and hurried to explain. “Do you mind, if we walk? I wanted to talk to you about something before we go back to the house … you know, without being overheard by someone else.” I knew she was referring to Peter.

“No, of course not.” I allowed. I was very curious, and a little concerned. But whatever was on her mind, I would give her the chance to get it of her chest. I owed her the least that much. “I would like that, too. Come on, this way.”

She threw her bag back over her shoulders, and followed my lead. For a few minutes, which felt more like hours, we walked in silence side by side through the forest. I matched her human pace, not wanting her to trip and hurt her herself. She seemed to be focused on the trail, watching her every step. I fought with myself, thinking of saying something, to open up the conversation. She’d said she wanted to talk and now she was giving me the silent treatment. My anxiety and curiosity were nearly unbearable by now. But it didn’t escape my notice that apparently Bella was feeling the same. Going by the way she was fidgeting with the hem of her jacket and biting her lower lip, she seemed to be unsure how to start.

“It wasn’t your fault.” She stated matter-of-factly, finally breaking the silence.

My mind was blank. ‘Which incident is she referring to?’

“The birthday party.” Bella clarified, like she was answering my thoughts.

“What?” I stopped dead in my tracks and Bella followed suit, facing me.

I was surprised that she started to laugh. I must have looked like an idiot, gaping at her. But she sobered quickly, mumbling sorry, before she continued to explain herself. “I’ve finally figured it all out. The reason why you came at me that day … I think, no, I know now why you did it. Because of what you are,” I opened my mouth to, but she held up a hand signaling that she wasn’t finished. I indulged her, more or less reluctantly. “I’m not talking about you being a vampire. I’m talking about your gift. You are an empath, for crying out loud. No offense, but I’m not surprised that you couldn’t handle the situation. Not because you’re too weak, or something, but because of the circumstances … being forced to deal with the combined bloodlust of six vampires, including your own … well, I’m sure anyone would have lost it …”

I’d had been listening to her very closely, carefully monitoring her emotions at the same time. She truly meant what she said. I was stunned speechless. I’ve always known that Bella was very observant, especially for a human. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here. But the conclusion she’d drawn now showed me once again, how insightful she was as well. Bella wasn’t only selfless and forgiving, but compassionate and smart enough to see the truth … a truth that has eluded me for far too long.

“That is why I forgave you right after it happened. Because even then I knew that it wasn’t right to blame you for something that was not your fault. So please, Jasper, do yourself and everyone else a favor and stop feeling guilty.” She pleaded with me, locking her eyes on mine. Once again I lost myself in the depth of them.

It has never crossed my mind that I only snapped as a result of overstimulation. I’ve never even considered it a possibility, even though I should have known better, considering my past experiences. But I had been ruled by guilt, unable to open my eyes and see what was right in front of me.

‘Leave it to Bella to show me the errors in my way of thinking …’

“You are right.” I conceded, giving her a timid smile. Bella sighed, in what I guessed was relief. “You are amazing, do you know that?”

Bella blushed, averting her eyes to the ground. I cautiously stepped forward, reaching out with my right hand. I placed one of my fingers under her chin, carefully lifting her head, thus forcing her to look me in the eyes. “You are.” I insisted, adding in a soft tone, “Thank you for believing in me, Darlin’.”

For the first time today I projected my emotions on purpose, allowing Bella to feel the full amount of gratitude and love I felt for her. Her eyes opened wide in shock, and she swallowed hard. A single tear ran down her cheek. I had to fight hard against the strong urge to lean in and kiss it away.

‘What? Why would I do that? Am I … oh my God … am I falling for Bella?’

The thought was both scary and exciting. And from personal experience – well, not really – but from living with three mated pairs I knew that this feeling, this yearning wouldn’t just go away even if I wanted it to. If anything it would only strengthen over time. If it was real … and strange as it was, it felt that way. Genuine, intense and utterly confusing …

“You’re welcome.” I heard Bella whispering. She wiped away the tear with the back of her hand, giving me a weak, but warm smile. Then she turned, slowly walking down the path. I couldn’t feel her emotions anymore, and it made me anxious as hell. The awkward silence was back. She was shielding herself again, maybe because I’d frightened her with the onslaught of my emotions. I couldn’t tell, but took comfort in the fact that she wasn’t running from me.

I quickly caught up with her. “Bella, I need to ask you something.” I requested warily.

“Sure, Jasper, go ahead.” She permitted, showing no outward sign of distress, which was comforting … sort of.

“Well … sometimes I’m having trouble sensing your emotions. Do you know why that is?” I tried to sound nonchalant, even though I was far from relaxed at the moment. I was actually a little concerned there might be something wrong with my gift, which wouldn’t be such a surprise, considering I haven’t been myself lately. My feelings were all over the place these days. Especially now, with the discovery I’d just made … having unexpected feelings for this human girl.

“Oh, that … I’m surprised it’s actually working …” Bella commented.

“What is working?” I interrupted her, totally puzzled by her response.

“Well, I don’t know how exactly it’s working … but I could see that my emotions were getting to you, affecting you and not in a good way. You already seemed to be so stressed and upset, I didn’t want to burden you with my own emotional baggage, so I thought I could at least try to keep my emotions under control … to shield you, to help you.” She clarified, looking at me. I simply stared at her, trying to wrap my head around what she was telling me.

‘Is this woman for real? She must be an angel … no wonder I’m falling for her. The things she’s doing just to make me feel better … she is amazing … I don’t deserve her … she is far too good … but I want her, I need her …’

“So you can’t feel anything from me?” Bella asked, effectively breaking through my inner rambling.

“No, I can feel you alright, but it seems that you are deciding when and to what extent.” I answered.

“Is that bad?” She inquired, sounding unsure and … guilty?

“No, it’s just unusual.” I assured her. She obviously had no idea how much I appreciated her effort to help me. “I just didn’t know that you could do that.”

It was true. I’ve never come across someone who was able to shield himself from my power. Of course, I knew that she obviously was immune to Edward’s gift, but his ability worked differently than mine. Not for the first time I wondered whether her immunity was the only thing that had drawn him to her … other than the scent of her blood of course. A part of me hoped that it wasn’t the case, for her sake. But then again, why did he leave her, after telling her over and over again that he loved her?

‘I will never do that to her …’ I vowed to myself. ‘As long as she’ll have me around, I’ll stay …’

Suddenly Bella’s stomach made that annoying grumbling noise again.

“Well, as much as I enjoy our walk, and our little chat, I think it’s time to feed the human. Wouldn’t you agree? So how about you hop on my back now, and will be at the house in no time.” I proposed.

“Okay.” She agreed, almost cheerfully. Whether it was due to the prospect to get something to eat very soon or the piggy ride, I didn’t know, nor did I care. I was just glad that she didn’t seem to have a problem being physically close to me. I turned around and bent my knees, helping her on my back. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around my body and slung her arms around my neck. I could feel the warmth of her body even through the many layers of her clothes. I sighed in pleasure.

“Are you alright?” Bella asked, sounding a little worried.

‘Shit. She may not feel me, but she can hear me …’ I reminded myself.

“Yes, everything is fine.” I assured her quickly, with words and a tiny dose of my own emotions. “Ready?”

“Yes.” She answered, sounding very sure and a little excited.

Reassured, I grabbed her legs firmly, but not too tight to hurt her, and then I ran. I knew this experience wasn’t new for her. I might not be as fast as Edward, but fast enough. Her emotions didn’t give me any indication whether she was terrified, or if she was enjoying this ride as much as I did. I hoped it was the latter.

I came to a sudden halt at the bank of the river, turning my head slightly. “Hmm, Bella,” I began, awkwardly, “I don’t know if it will be safe for you on my back when I make this jump.”

“I trust you.” She whispered into my ear. Her breath tickled my skin, and a pleasant shiver ran down my spine, affecting me in the worst way.

‘Stop it, right now! Concentrate … you don’t want to hurt her … or accidentally dump her into the water mid-jump …’

“Hold on tight.” I ordered gently, and then I leaped gracefully over the river, landing safely on the other side. I let go of Bella, a little reluctantly though, already missing her closeness, the warmth of her body. I turned around, to take a look at Bella. Her face was flushed, and she seemed to be a little weak in her knees.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, worried that she might not be.

Her reaction took me totally of guard. “That was freaking awesome. Can we do that again?” Bella’s eyes shone with excitement.

I laughed in response. “Sure, anytime, darlin’. Come on, Peter is expecting us.” I held out my hand to her, and to my surprise and utter delight she accepted it at once. We walked slowly hand in hand into the house.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Peter was already waiting for us in the kitchen. It was pretty easy to tell by the different shade of red in his eyes, that he’d indeed fed while he had been in Seattle, picking up the food for Bella. Normally, he wouldn’t have to feed so soon, since he’d just been hunting with Charlotte the day before. But apparently, he was just like me. He didn’t want to take any chances to ensure Bella’s safety. I was both glad and surprised. In all the years we’ve known each other, not even one single human being had awakened the slightest interest in him … other than to quench his thirst, of course. And now here he was, excited like a kid on Christmas Eve by the prospect of spending more time with Bella.

“Hey, guys. What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for hours.” Peter greeted us, sounding very impatient and annoyed, like a mom expecting her kids to come home for dinner on time. He had his arms crossed, tapping his foot in a fast, regular rhythm.

Of course, I knew right away that it was just a ruse on his part, because I could sense his amusement bubbling underneath his stern facade. For a moment there I was a little worried how Bella would react to this silly act of his, but apparently there was no need for feeling that way. Once again I had to admit that I was impressed by how at ease she was with Peter despite the fact he was a vampire … a human-blood-drinking vampire. Quite obviously, she wasn’t the shy girl anymore she’d once been around Edward. Like his leaving had freed her … loosened some of her inhibitions …

“Sorry, it’s my fault. I had to make a phone call … and then I couldn’t decide what to pack. And that takes time, you know, being a girl and all …” Bella replied with mock embarrassment, playing right along. “I hope you can forgive me.” She sounded very convincing, giving him a rather cute look from under her eyelashes.

Peter laughed hard, and I joined in. “You’ve got some great humor there, little lady. I like it. Now, come, eat … before your food gets any colder.” He motioned to the kitchen table, which was loaded with at least five different dishes. He pulled back a chair like a gentleman and Bella took a seat.

“Oh my God, Peter. Are you crazy? I’m never gonna be able to eat all of it. It’s way too much.” She complained, but eagerly opened the first dish, groaning appreciatively. The smell of the food was nauseating, and Peter and I did our best to hide our reaction from her.

“I didn’t know what you’d prefer so I’ve brought you some choices.” Peter replied, shrugging. He handed her a plastic set of knife, fork and spoon. “I brought these just in case there weren’t any around. And as it turned out, it was a good idea.”

“Thanks.” Bella replied, digging enthusiastically into the food. Peter and I were just about to leave the kitchen, when she stopped us. “Please stay, I don’t mind having company … or share my food.” She gave us both a challenging look, causing Peter to chuckle again.

“Yes to keeping you company, but a definite no to the food. Not everybody likes to play human like Emmett.” I said, happy that she wanted me, um us, to stick around. I still shuddered slightly at the mere thought of actually eating this crap, because it always was double torture. Bella giggled at my expression, and I gave her a smirk in return. I really liked her laughter. And seeing her happy made me happy.

Peter and I sat down on the opposite side of the table. We let Bella eat in peace, keeping the subjects of conversation light. Peter told Bella about his and Charlotte’s last vacation in South America. By the look on Bella’s face it was clear to me that she wasn’t only enjoying to hear about their adventures but that she was indeed a little jealous too. Knowing that her family wasn’t as well-off as any one of us, she probably hadn’t been anywhere else but some places in the US. Given the chance I would take her to all the places in the world she wanted to see.

‘You’re getting ahead of yourself, Whitlock! She doesn’t even like you that way … and why would she?’ I reminded myself. Hell, I still didn’t know why I suddenly felt that way, only that it felt right. But for the moment I decided to push those thoughts away, to ponder over later, preferably alone, without Peter shooting curious glances at me. Did he already know something has changed? I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did.

After Bella was done eating, she put the leftovers in the fridge, mumbling something about waste, causing Peter to chuckle again. She took her bottle of soda, and then we all relocated into the living room again. Bella sat down on the couch, and I joined her there without a second thought.

Bella was the one who opened the conversation again. “Peter, did you know that Jasper’s surname is actually Whitlock?”

“Sure.” Peter answered, with a big grin on his face. “It’s mine and Charlotte’s, too.”

I couldn’t suppress a smile, when I felt Peter’s pride hidden underneath his simple answer, almost matching my own. His choice of taking my surname wasn’t due to memory loss of his own name, but his way of showing gratitude for what I’d done for him and Charlotte in the past, saving their lives and freeing them.

“It is?” Bella was surprised. “But you guys aren’t actually related … I mean through blood?” She was looking at me for an explanation.

But Peter beat me to the punch. “No, but we are connected through the same venom.”

I growled a low warning. Peter might not have a problem telling Bella everything about our past, but I wasn’t ready for that particular topic of conversation, not yet anyway. But right now we were heading straight in that direction. To be honest, I would avoid talking about it altogether, but I’d promised Bella to tell her about our history just this morning. Despite my unwillingness to share my past with her – because I truly feared her reaction to all horrors I’d lived through and had inflicted on others – I intended to keep that promise. But all in due time …

“I am their sire.” I stated simply, but my voice spoke volumes.

“Oh,” was Bella’s only response. She didn’t push for further details, which both surprised and appeased me. Maybe the torn look on my face told her to stop asking questions, at least for the time being. I knew that she was very curious, but she was also very considerate.

“Are there any games around?” Peter asked, wisely changing the subject. No doubt, he’d sensed my discomfort, and the sudden tension in the air.

“I doubt that.” I remarked. I was pretty sure that there was still a chess board in my study, but definitely no other board games. And I doubted that Emmett had left one of his precious video games behind. It would have been useless anyway, since there was no TV here.

“Well, how about you snatch your guitar, and play something.” My brother offered as an alternative. I met Bella’s eyes, and they shone with delight and surprise.

“I didn’t know that you could play.” She stated.

“Well, there is a lot you don’t know about me, Darlin’.” I drawled, and Peter rolled his eyes at me, hiding his chuckle behind a fake cough. I quickly went upstairs, and in the blink of an eye I was back on the couch. After taking a few seconds to tune my guitar, I started playing. Bella opened up again, sharing her emotions of joy and comfort with me. After half an hour Bella suddenly stood up, startling me somewhat.

“Please excuse me … the human does need to use the bathroom.” Bella announced, leaving us alone in the living room. Peter laughed at her antics or my reaction. It was hard to tell.

“She is something, isn’t she?” Peter stated out of the blue, in a low voice.

“Hmm …” I agreed, my eyes locked on the bathroom door.

“So, am I right to presume that we will not return back to Arizona tomorrow?” Peter pressed.

“Err … well … probably not. I need to fix the damage before we leave, so I guess we will be here until Tuesday, the least.” My answer sounded even lame to me.

“Alright …” Peter nodded, trying to sound indifferent, but failing miserably. I could sense excitement bubbling underneath his calm façade, causing me to finally take my eyes of the bathroom door. There was a huge grin on his face, the one that always told me that he was up to no good.

“Peter.” I groaned. “What are you up to now?”

“Nothing …” He said defensively. “I am just thrilled about your decision to stay a little while longer, especially since I’ve already called Char to meet us here. I’m pretty sure she will be here soon. She is very excited to meet our girl.”

“She is mine!” I snarled.

“Now, now, Major, no need to act all possessive … you know damn well that I’m a one-woman vampire.” Peter tried to placate me.

“I am so glad to hear that.” A female voice stated. Charlotte had literally appeared out of nowhere. Peter didn’t seem to be the least bit surprised, which made sense, since she was his mate. He’d probably already felt her presence within a mile. But she had taken me totally off guard. That kind of thing seemed to happen too frequently lately, and it was beginning to freak me out. Was it because of Bella? Did she capture my entire attention, thus leaving me vulnerable? If that was the case, it could become a problem.

Charlotte flitted over to Peter, embracing her mate and planting a passionate kiss on his lips. “I’ve missed you.”

Peter returned the kiss with favor. I groaned, because I could sense that both of them wanted to take this further. Charlotte turned around, giggling. “What’s up with you, Jasper?”

“Ah, don’t mind him, honey. He’s just jealous because he isn’t getting some.” Peter smirked at me, and I gave him the finger as an answer. Charlotte made herself comfortable in Peter’s lap.

“So, where’s the human?” She asked, glancing around the room. She was radiating nothing but curiosity.

Right on cue the bathroom door opened and Bella stepped out. She was clearly startled by the Charlotte’s presence, but not afraid.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

I went straight into the downstairs bathroom, happy to find it was still fully stocked with a set of towels, soap, even toilet paper. I had wondered before why they hadn’t cleaned out the house completely. But then again the things they’d left behind weren’t much of importance to a vampire ... well, except for Edward’s piano. But they would probably just come back for it. After all, they had abandoned this house once before, only to return a couple decades later. They were probably just waiting for me to be gone … one way or another.

After using the toilet – and trying very hard not to think about the sensitive hearing of the vampires in the other room – I took a few minutes standing in front of the sink, to study my reflection in the mirror.

‘Is it just my imagination, or do I look differently?’

True, there were still dark shadows underneath my eyes, clear evidence of my sleep deprivation of late, but I could also see a slight, healthy glow on my cheeks, that hasn’t been there for the last five months. To be honest I even felt more alive, too. ‘Apparently the company of vampires can be beneficial for my wellbeing …’ I mused, smiling to myself.

I could hear them talking in the living room. But even though I was unable to make out the words, I was pretty sure they were talking about me … which had nothing to do with vanity, but more with female intuition.

By now I was quite used to their strange habit of communicating in their vampire ways: Speaking quietly, too fast and too low for a human to follow; quick and subtle glances, almost like they were having silent conversations. I knew that they probably thought I wasn’t noticing those little signs, but I hadn’t missed a thing just chosen to ignore this kind of behavior, even though it was beginning to drive me nuts. I didn’t really believe that they were keeping some vital information from me, like Edward had done, but I knew that they were hiding something. But still, I’ve decided to give them the benefit of the doubt for the moment. After all, we barely knew each other, but hopefully with time, Jasper would open up and tell me what was on his mind.

I quickly washed and dried my hands, taking one last glance in the mirror. And then I finally left the bathroom.

Just a few minutes ago there had only been two vampires, but now there were three. The new arrival was a female, about the height of Esme, definitely taller than Alice, but smaller than Rosalie. Her hair was a shade of dark blond, slightly curled, barely reaching her shoulders. She was truly magnificent, beautiful like all the other female vampires I had come across so far, but there was also something fierce in her features, something tough and unyielding. She didn’t really scare me, but something told me, that crossing her in any kind of way would be rather foolish. Not that I would actually try and challenge her or any other a vampire. I’ve noticed the same kind of characteristics on Peter’s face before, but at the time I hadn’t given it much thought. Taking a closer look at Jasper, I could see the same signs, but more pronounced.

‘What the fuck happened to all of them? It must have something to do with their shared past …’

I finally realized that all eyes were on me, studying my every reaction. Sure, I was a bit taken aback by the new arrival, but I wasn’t afraid. Then all of a sudden Jasper was at my side, almost like he was trying to protect me or something. But since the strange vampire sat on Peter’s lap, I assumed that she was his mate, Charlotte. So there was no need for me to be afraid, right?

Peter was smiling at me, but somehow I couldn’t take my eyes of Charlotte. She was actually gaping at me, her eyes wandering between Jasper and me. Before the situation could become any weirder, the blonde vampire seemed to recover. She stood up and slowly walked over to me.

“Hi, I’m Charlotte. You must be Bella. It’s nice to meet you.” She extended her right hand in greeting, giving me a small, but genuine smile.


	11. I’m here for you

Charlotte POV

 

I honestly wasn’t the least bit thrilled about taking this trip to Forks. But then again my aversion had more to do with the memories linked to this particular place, memories specifically connected with some of its former inhabitants than the town itself. Forks was actually a great place for a vampire to settle down for a while, considering the sun rarely made its appearance here, in particular if one wanted to walk around in daylight without drawing any (more) attention.

But despite my dislike of this place, I went anyway. Mostly because I dearly missed my mate, and my brother, of course, even though it only had been a couple of hours since their departure. They were supposed to be back within two days, but apparently something had come up. Instead of just grabbing his stuff, something was keeping Jasper there.

Peter’s messages had been cryptic to say the least, but it was pretty obvious that this Bella chick was the reason for them to stay in Forks longer than actually necessary. Knowing how Peter usually was around humans, this girl had to be quite extraordinary to capture his interest. Or there was something else going on …

I drove the rental car down the overgrown path leading towards the Cullen house. I still couldn’t believe that they had abandoned this place. I knew that both Esme and Carlisle had been very fond of this house and this town, which was why they’d decided to return here after staying away for almost seventy years. So why did they leave now?

Something told me that they had also neglected to leave a note behind, telling Jasper where they’d relocated to. I tried my best to keep my cool, not wanting to make Jasper feel any worse than he probably already did. I yearned to see him smile again … a true smile of genuine happiness. He of all people deserved it the most, not only after what he’d been through with Maria. But also what he had to endure ever since.

I highly doubted that Alice has ever realized how broken and vulnerable Jasper actually was. She had no idea who the real Jasper was … not the ruthless warrior but the amazing person underneath. The fact that she hadn’t made any contact with him in the last five months, proved my point. She didn’t care about him at all. He had been just a fling for her … a project, someone strong to protect her, but nothing more.

But I truly believed that there was someone out there for Jasper, someone like Peter was for me – a true friend, a lover, a soul mate. He might have an eternity to find that person, but I hoped he wouldn’t have to wait that long. For his sake, and everybody else’s …

I parked the car behind Peter’s truck. I grabbed the bag from the passenger seat and got out. Even from this distance I could smell the fragrance of the human. It wasn’t mouthwatering, but very sweet, like some fruit I couldn’t identify right away … which was understandable, considering how long it’s been since I’d had any human food.

Anyhow, as suggested by my husband I had made a pit stop on the way to grab a little snack, so I wasn’t a threat to her, at least not for the moment. Like Peter, I wasn’t used to spend quality time with humans, so this would definitely be a new challenge for me, in more ways than one. It was certainly helping that I was equally curious and excited about meeting the girl who was responsible for this whole mess.

A shiver ran down my spine, through my body, awakening every nerve on its path. The feeling was getting stronger the closer I got to the house. But I wasn’t unnerved, because I was very familiar the sensation. It was a surefire way to tell that my mate was close by, providing me with comfort and peace every time. In fact, it was a very pleasant feeling, warm and tingly, always reminding me of the way Peter’s gentle caresses.

I stopped on the porch, deliberating for a moment if I should knock or just go in. But then I heard Jasper’s response to Peter’s revelation that he’d invited me to join them here. Apparently, my sneaky husband hasn’t given our brother any kind of warning. No wonder Jasper was angry, I would be too.

‘What are you up to, indeed …’ I mused, deciding to stay put a little bit longer.

“Now, now, Major, no need to act all possessive … you know damn well that I’m a one-woman vampire.” I knew that Peter was mostly trying to calm down Jasper, but he also said it to appease me. Not that it was necessary, but still … it was always nice to hear it just the same.

‘This is my cue …’ I thought, finally entering the house.

“I am so glad to hear that.” I said, trying to sound a little angry, which I wasn’t of course. I knew perfectly well, that Peter would never betray me. He was mine and I was his, for all eternity. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I flung myself straight into Peter’s waiting, strong arms and kissed him with fervor. “I’ve missed you.” Peter returned the kiss with the same enthusiasm, and I moaned into his mouth, already wanting more than just a kiss.

As usual, Jasper groaned in annoyance, causing me to giggle like a human schoolgirl. “What’s up with you, Jasper?” I asked innocently. Jasper’s reaction wasn’t unexpected. He was always feeling uncomfortable whenever Peter and I got in the mood, so to speak.

“Ah, don’t mind him, honey. He’s just jealous because he isn’t getting some.” Peter smirked at Jasper, who was giving him the finger.

I snuggled into Peter’s lap. “So, where’s the human?” I asked, glancing around the room.

Right on cue the bathroom door opened and the human girl stepped out. She was clearly startled by my presence, but not afraid. Bella was about my height, but with dark long hair, almost reaching down to her waist. She was really pretty for a human, a natural beauty, some might say. And I could already tell that she felt truly comfortable in the presence of our kind, despite the danger we usually represented. Her brown eyes were wide open, taking in everything around her. It almost seemed like she was trying to get a feel of the atmosphere or something. But I guessed she was just looking for reassurance from Jasper and Peter. No one said a word. Slowly but surely tension began build up.

Suddenly Jasper moved, appearing at Bella’s side. I wasn’t quite sure if he did it for protection, or simply to provide some comfort and support. Probably it was a mixture of all three. But I certainly noticed him grabbing her hand, their fingers entwining. It looked like such an ordinary gesture, almost like it had been always that way between them. Bella didn’t flinch or try to pull her hand away. Quite the opposite – they both visibly relaxed, when their skin met. Did they even realize this was happening?

That’s when I saw it.

WHAT

THE

FUCK!

I couldn’t help myself, openly gapping at both of them, because I simply couldn’t believe what I saw. Their auras were intertwined, almost completely merged actually. It was hard to tell where one began and the other ended. I clearly remembered the color of Jaspers aura when he’d been with Alice. A constant bright blue, while hers had shifted between green and yellow. I didn’t have a science degree in analyzing auras, and I didn’t need one. From the first moment I met Alice, observing her around Jasper, I knew that they didn’t belong together. They might have been close friends, lovers even, but not soul-mates … nobody could foul me when it came to see that.

The thing was, apart from my mate Peter, no one knew about the full capacity of my gift. And why should I tell anyone about it? It wasn’t actually something useful, like Jasper’s empathy or Edward’s telepathy. Peter and I used to make our private jokes about it, picturing me working as a marriage counselor.

‘Sorry guys, but this isn’t going to work. You simply don’t belong together … because your auras don’t match …’

Of course, Jasper knew that I could see auras, but he didn’t know that my gift could identify soul mates, too. Both Peter and I had agreed that Jasper had to figure it out on his own, so I hadn’t interfered in his relationship with Alice … much. But now, with everything that had happened, I thought we might have made a huge mistake in keeping him in the dark about that. We could have saved him a lot of pain, if we’d just told him the truth.

‘But then again, what’s done is done … no use to dwell on the past, better focus on the future …’

Like here and now, right in front of me, where I was witnessing something I haven’t seen in a very long time … or ever. Our auras, as in Peter’s and mine, did the same merging thing, but the color was a steady crimson. Jasper’s and Bella’s on the other hand did constantly change color. It almost looked like a rainbow. I didn’t know the reason behind it. Maybe it had something to do with Jasper’s gift, or the fact that they didn’t know about it … yet. But one thing was for sure, the strength of their bond already matched that of mine and Peter’s.

‘Incredible … unbelievable … amazing …’

I didn’t quite notice that I was still staring at both of them, not until Peter gave me a slight nudge in the back. I finally snapped out of my reverie. I could see that Jasper was watching me very closely, probably feeling out my emotions, trying to decipher what my problem was. Even Bella couldn’t take her eyes of me.

I shook my head, unnoticeable for the human’s eyes, and then finally stood up and slowly walked over to her and Jasper.

“Hi, I’m Charlotte. You must be Bella. It’s nice to meet you.” I said, holding out a hand in greeting, which she took without hesitation. The warmth of her skin wasn’t unpleasant, quite the opposite. But still it was a bit unnerving … probably because I wasn’t quite used to it. Unlike Jasper, apparently …

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Bella replied very politely, but underneath I could sense that she was just as confused as I was. And just like that the awkward silence was back.

“Okay … I think it’s time for us to get some fresh air.” Peter announced, purposely taking my hand and pulling me along with him. I didn’t argue, since I had no idea how to explain my weird behavior to Jasper or Bella. “See you guys in the morning. Sleep tight, little lady.” He said, winking at Bella. And then we left through the front door.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

I silently watched Peter leading his mate out of the house, and then they both vanished quickly into the night. Oddly, I hadn’t noticed before that it was already dark outside, since my vision worked just the same in the dark as it did during the daytime.

‘Time really does fly when you’re having fun …’

Obviously Peter and Char didn’t plan to be back until morning. They probably would be spending the night in the little cottage, hidden deep in the woods, far from any human track. I didn’t know in what condition Emmett and Rose had left it, after their last time, but since neither Peter nor Charlotte truly required a bed, at least not for sleeping, or heat, I assumed that they would be okay out there.

“Well, that was awkward.” Bella commented, more or less talking to herself than actually to me.

I completely agreed with her, but didn’t voice it. I was too confused to even think clearly. Charlotte’s behavior had been indeed very strange. In fact, her emotions had been all over the place. First there had been shock, then recognition, quickly followed by relief and … utter delight. I still wasn’t able to make head or tails of Charlotte’s behavior, wondering just like Bella. The only difference was that I knew the reason behind her scrutinizing look … well sort of. I was sure she’d seen something in us, something that obviously pleased her. But unfortunately her sudden departure had prevented me from asking any question, which, in a way, made the situation even worse.

I was pulled out of my thoughts, when Bella abruptly let go of my hand. I looked at her, feeling a little uncertain, but mostly puzzled. She stood next to me with her arms crossed and her head cocked, watching me closely for a few seconds, like she was trying to read my face or my feelings. I didn’t really care what she was trying to do, because once again I was trapped in the depth of her brown eyes. Suddenly I was glad that my friends had left us alone …

“You know something, don’t you?” Bella accused.

“Well, not exactly …” I mumbled, surprised once again how insightful she was.

“But you have some idea why she’d stared at me … at us … like that, don’t you?” She pressed, firmly yet politely.

I took Bella’s hand again, guiding her towards the couch again. She clearly didn’t mind the physical contact, following me willingly, being her usual patient self. I loved that about her. I knew that she was curious, longing for answers, but she wasn’t overly pushy. And it wasn’t like that I didn’t want to answer all of her questions. I just didn’t know what to tell her, since I didn’t have all the answers either.

I took in an unnecessary breath before I began to speak. “Bella, the only thing I know for sure is that Charlotte doesn’t mean you any harm …”

“I know that.” She interrupted me, for once sounding impatient. I smirked at her stubbornness.

“Good. But let me finish, please.” I said, locking eyes with her. She nodded once. “As you know Peter and Charlotte and I, we all know each other for quite some time. Well, over a hundred years to be exact. The way we were turned, um, became vampires … well it wasn’t the same way as Edward, Alice, Esme, Rosalie or Emmett had been brought into our world.

“We had not been saved from untimely death caused by an attack or disease; neither was our transformation an accident like Carlisle’s. We had been selected, chosen for a single purpose.” I paused for a moment, allowing Bella to absorb my words. But I hurried to continue, when I picked up various signs of anxiety. “Breathe, Bella. I am not going to tell you everything about my history tonight. I think we both have been through enough as it is for one day. I just want you to understand.”

“It’s okay. I understand. And just for the record, whenever you are ready to talk about it, I will listen and try not judge.” Bella promised, leaving no room for doubts.

“I might hold you to that.” I threatened playfully. But in reality, I was scared as hell to tell her anything about my time with Maria, afraid that she might freak out and finally see the monster I truly was. I was afraid to lose her. But for now I pushed those thoughts aside, because I just wanted to explain Charlotte’s behavior as best as I could. “Anyhow … you know that some vampires possess more than just inhuman strength and speed …”

“Are you trying to tell me that Peter and Charlotte, that they both have special gifts too?” Bella interrupted me again. She was more intrigued than surprised. Her eyes sparkled.

“Yes.” I verified, not the least bit angry with her for interrupting me. “Although, they would both probably deny it. They don’t talk about it much. As far as I know Peter’s gift is similar to what Alice can do. But please don’t tell him, that I said that. He gets a little mad whenever I compare him to her. I think he doesn’t have premonitions like Alice, but something similar. At least that would explain his knowledge of things before they even happen. Like I said, he doesn’t talk about it often, and I respect his privacy.”

“And Charlotte?” Bella pressed.

I laughed at her eagerness. “Yes, Charlotte … well her gift is something else entirely. She can see auras.”

“Oh,” Bella mumbled, lowering her gaze. But even though I couldn’t see her eyes, I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. She was probably trying to trying to make sense of that particular piece information.

“Bella?” I tentatively called her attention, with immediate success.

“What does that mean?” She asked, sounding confused and somewhat uncomfortable. ‘Great …’

I shrugged my shoulders, desperately trying to remain cool. “I am not sure. She is like Peter in that department. We’ve never talked about her ability in detail. To be honest, I’ve never seen her acting this way before … not even when she met Alice for the first time. But whatever she had seen in you … in us … she seemed to be happy about it.” I finished. Sure, secretly I was hoping that Charlotte had seen something about me belonging to Bella, and vice versa. But deep down I knew that was just wishful thinking. How could ever I deserve such an angel like Bella?

“She was happy?” Bella repeated, timidly, blushing ever so slightly, which was making me even more curious to know what she was thinking. But I didn’t ask, because I could still sense her nervousness.

“Yes. I don’t know what to make of it myself. But we can ask her tomorrow … although I’m not sure she will give us an answer.” I remarked, leaving it at that. What more could I have said?

More for a diversion than anything else I picked up my guitar again and played more songs. Bella settled deeper into the couch, laying her head on my shoulder. I loved that she was so comfortable in my presence. But I didn’t dare to get my hopes up, though, deciding to just enjoy the moment while it lasted.

Half an hour or so later I could sense that Bella was getting weary. She’d tried to stifle a yawn more than once already, but she couldn’t fool me.

“Tired?” I asked, but actually just stating the obvious.

“Yes.” She admitted, rather reluctantly. I couldn’t help but smile at her reaction.

“Come on, Darlin’. Let’s find you a place to crash for the night.” I suggested. Even though I hadn’t had time before to check the other rooms, I was pretty sure that my study was still fully furnished. There would be a couch in there, big enough for her to sleep on.

“Where are you taking me?” She asked, sounding a little nervous all of the sudden, but taking my hand nonetheless.

“To my room.” I answered.

“Your room? As in yours and …”

I didn’t let her finish. “No, my room, my study to be exact … if that is okay with you?”

“Yes.” She sighed in relief, causing me to grin in triumph. Apparently I’d made the right decision.

We went upstairs in silence. I was quite aware that Bella been in this house quite frequently in the past, but I doubted that she’d seen every room. Sure, she had been in Edward’s room, and Alice’s. And I knew that she was pretty familiar with Carlisle’s office as well. But considering that she hadn’t been close to me – before today – I knew that she hadn’t seen my study yet. Come to think of it, apart from Rose none of the other Cullens had been in my room very often either. It was my private space, my sanctuary … well it had been.

I stopped at the far end of the hall, opening the door. And just as I’d predicted the room looked just the same as I’d left it, apart from the accumulated amount of dust.

“This is it.” I announced, motioning for her to go in first. She complied at once, taking a curious look around. Her eyes lingered on the bookshelf, covering one wall of the room from floor to ceiling, before her glance fell on the couch.

“I guess it’s not as comfortable as your bed …” I allowed. “I can take you home if you don’t like it.”

“No, it’s fine.” She said, declining my courteous offer. “I like it. Wow, you have a lot of books.”

I laughed at her stunned expression. “Maybe we should have gotten you a gift certificate for a bookstore instead of that car stereo.”

“No, I loved your gift.” Bella replied, sounding anything but convincing. She had been grateful, for sure, but it hadn’t been something she truly wanted.

“You are such a bad liar.” I called her out, smirking.

“I know.” She said, ducking her head in mild embarrassment. “It’s because I hate lying.”

“Yeah, me too …”

Bella walked over to the bookshelf, studying the titles. “Do you have a favorite book?”

“Of course, I do.” I said, appearing at her side. I pulled the book in question from its usual place on the shelf and handed it to Bella. It was an original edition, from a little known author from my human days. The story was about a young man joining the Confederate Army to seek fame and glory, only to lose everything in the end ... his family, his friends, his life ... so pretty much a mirror of my own experiences.

Bella traced the binding with reference, acknowledging its value, before she opened it very carefully. Two folded pieces of paper fell out, but thanks to my vampire reflexes I was able to catch them midair. I was just as surprised as Bella, maybe even more so, because knew I hadn’t put them in there.

“What’s that?” Bella enquired curiously.

“A letter ...” I mumbled.

“A letter? From who? Alice?” Bella sounded a little hopeful.

I shook my head. “No ... it’s from Rose.”

Already complete absorbed in the words, I blindly walked over to the couch and sat down. I barely noticed when Bella joined me. Probably because she didn’t make any sound. She just sat there, patiently waiting for me to finish reading the letter my sister had left behind, hidden in a place she knew I would be able to find it, sooner or later ... 

 

\+ + + + +

 

My dearest brother, or shall I say pity excuse for a former vampire warlord,

If you are reading this, I was able to bypass your wife’s gift. Which as you know would be a first. But then again, considering what went down here in the last couple of days, with the birthday, your sudden departure and everything, it wouldn’t surprise me very much if I actually succeeded this time, especially since nobody is paying me much attention.

I don’t need to be an empath like you or a mind reader like Eddie to be able to know what everybody is thinking or feeling around here.   
Pissed off is one word that comes to mind, anger another, also disappointment … but no one dares to speak about it. It’s like a fucking funeral around here, all gloom and doom. It’s stifling. Hopefully, things will get better when we leave …

Anyhow, I want you to know that I don’t blame you for anything, not even for the disappearing act you pulled. But to be honest I was really hoping that you would be back by now. But obviously you are not. I guess you just need a little more time to come to terms with everything ... and I can understand that.

Long story short, we are leaving Forks tonight. Edward is going to break up with Bella tomorrow, and then he will join us in Denali. I don’t know how long we are going to stay there but just in case you make it back here someday, I put a cell with a prepaid card into your desk, programmed with my cell number. Please use it and call me, if only to let me know that you are okay.

I am really worried about you and it seems like that at the moment I am the only one who feels that way. I’m sure, Emmett will come around eventually. He is mostly just mad for leaving Bella behind especially without the possibility to say a proper goodbye. Well, you know how he feels about her, him being the big brother for once and all that. I can’t say that I’m happy for leaving either. But you know the family rules, majority votes win. So I caved ... as always.

And guess what! Edward and Alice were the ones who had initiated this particular family decision. Weird, I know, but it’s the truth. They didn’t go into details, other than giving us the same reason, you and I had pointed out in the very beginning … “Bella will always be in danger. She doesn’t belong in our world.” Too bad their realization came at such a high price.

Carlisle and Esme are both very sad, but they eagerly agreed with their favorite kids without any hesitation whatsoever.

The others may have failed to notice it, but I got the distinct impression that there was more to this than both of them had led on. But at the time I was too surprised to question their motives. I’ve never anticipated them to make that kind of radical decision. And even though I kinda agree with them, on the whole human versus vampire thing, I’m not sure that this choice is for the best.

You know, I don’t like Bella very much, but no one deserves to get his or her heart broken. I just hope, for her sake, that she will get over it fast. None of us deserve her tears of mourning, least of all her so-called boyfriend and her so-called best friend. God, I hate them so much right now …

But enough about that, I don’t want to alert Edward to what I’m doing. Although since yesterday he’s doing his best to stay out of my head. I guess he really doesn’t want to know what I’m thinking about him and all this …

One last thing, of course I’ve tried to get some information about your whereabouts from Alice but all she could tell me that she’d seen you with Peter and Charlotte. She said that she didn’t know where they live these days. Or maybe she didn’t want to tell me, who knows. I didn’t dare ask for Edward’s help … as you can imagine you are his least favorite person right now ... or ever. At this point I can only hope you’ll find my letter and that we will see each other soon.

Please remember I’ll always love you, no matter what. And please contact me, when you are ready. I miss you.

Your (twin) sister

Rose

 

\+ + + + +

 

I read the letter three times, trying to comprehend and digest Rose’s words.

“Jasper,” Bella called my name softly. I snapped out of my reverie, glancing at her. Being too absorbed in Rose’s letter, I hadn’t even realized that Bella had closed the distance between us. Our thighs were almost touching.

“Are you okay?” She asked with a concerned look on her face, probably assuming the content of the letter had an adverse effect on me. I didn’t answer, completely lost for words … for numerous reasons.

Suddenly Bella reached out, cradling my face with her tiny hands, forcing me to look her directly in the eyes. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through this. I am here for you, no matter what.” She vowed, not knowing that she was repeating the exact same words my sister had used in her letter.

I didn’t know what came over me. With her being that close, her warm hands on either side of my face, her brown eyes full of love and conviction … my brain just shut down, and my desires and instincts just took over. I copied her posture, gently placing my hands on her cheeks. And then I slowly but determinedly closed the distance between our lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued …


	12. Small Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter, but I hope you like it nonetheless ...

Jasper POV

 

Of course, I was hyper aware of Bella. I could hear her heartbeat quickening, her breaths coming out in fast intervals. She was definitely nervous, and a bit surprised, but not afraid. I took great comfort in that fact, deciding to simply go ahead …

Bella’s lips were just as soft as I’d imagined them to be. Soft, warm and full of sweetness … I truly was in heaven. I might have even sighed in relief, when she reciprocated, but I wasn’t paying much attention to anything else but the feeling of our lips, moving in sync … slowly and very gently.

I was overcome by the strangest feelings. True, I’ve experienced the warm and tingly feeling more than once today when I held her hand, but now it was amplified tenfold. My whole body became affected, almost like I was coming alive again. This experience was so new for me. Not the kiss itself of course, because that would be foolish. I’ve had my fair share of kisses over the last century, but nothing like this. And even though I’ve never kissed a human before – as a vampire – I knew that wasn’t the reason either. At least not the only one.

The kiss was so gentle and innocent in comparison to everything I’ve experienced before. And strange as it might sound it was making the whole thing that much better, more exciting, more real. And I didn’t need access to Bella’s emotions to know that she was enjoying the kiss just as much as I was.

But as good as this was, I wanted, no, I needed more. Without any warning I removed my hands from her face, grabbing her around the waist, pulling her into my lap. Bella gasped, clearly startled by the sudden move, but she didn’t fight me. She didn’t encourage me to try and do something more either. Which was totally understandable considering that she didn’t have any sexual experience whatsoever … other than a handful chaste kisses she’d shared with my prude brother.

I knew that I should take this slow, not forcing her into doing something she wasn’t ready for. But the vampire and the man in me just couldn’t wait any longer. I really wanted to taste her. When my tongue traced her lower lip, cautiously begging for entrance, she froze. I pulled back immediately. Although I still couldn’t get a good read on her emotions, I was able to see that this bold move hadn’t been a good idea. Her eyes were wide open in shock, her cheeks were flushed, and she was breathing heavily. 

‘Fuck …’

Suddenly I felt horrible. I had crossed a line. Well, more than one actually. Here she was, trying to comfort me, and I had to fuck it up, by taking advantage of her. Maybe she didn’t want this at all? Maybe she had just allowed this to make me feel better?

‘Oh God, I hope not. But who am I kidding here? Of course she doesn’t want me the way I want her … why would she … she could do so much better …’

“Bella, I am so …” I started, but Bella didn’t let me finish, swiftly covering my mouth with her hand.

“Don’t!” She said. It was both a plea and a demand. Suddenly all gates were open, and I was assaulted by tidal waves of her emotions. There was surprise, realization, determination, lust … and love?

To say I was shocked was the understatement of the century. But before I was able to sort through her various emotions and try and make sense of them, her mouth was back on mine, picking up right where we left off. She fisted her hands in my hair, pulling me closer to her, her mouth literally attacking mine. This kiss was different. Not gentle and soft, but full of passion. I let her take charge this time, gladly allowing her access to my mouth. We both moaned, when our tongues met.

She tasted even better than she smelled, so sweet, somehow fruity. I wanted more. I wanted to make her mine … completely.

‘Too soon … don’t rush her … just enjoy the moment …’ I cautioned myself. But it was easier said than done, considering the way Bella was battling my tongue for dominance. ‘Who knew she had it in her …’

But even though it was hard to concentrate on anything but Bella’s mouth on mine right now, I still made sure to guide her away from my sharp teeth. Sure, I knew that the small trace of venom in my saliva wouldn’t do her any harm, at least not as long as she didn’t have any open wounds in her mouth, but still … better safe than sorry.

By now we were desperately clinging to each other, barely leaving a fraction of space between us. I was pretty sure that Bella could feel the proof of my arousal, but fortunately it didn’t seem to bother her. And anyway, as a vampire I was a sexual being by nature, never ashamed to show my excitement or act on my instincts. One of my hands went into her hair, while the other went around her waist, keeping her in place.

We kept kissing for a few more minutes, moving against each other, but eventually I had no choice but to let go of her. For one I was seconds away from losing it, but more importantly I remembered that Bella – unlike me – had a need for oxygen. After all, she was only human.

We reluctantly broke apart, both panting very hard. I wanted to laugh out of sheer happiness but I quickly thought better of it. Something told me that despite her voluntary participation and reciprocation she probably was just as overwhelmed and confused as me by what just happened between us, and might misinterpret such an action, thinking I was making fun of her.

“That … that was …” She finally managed to say, while she was trying to catch her breath.

“Mind-blowing.” I finished her sentence, smirking at her.

“Yes,” she agreed, still gasping for air, gracing me with a smile, small but genuine. Her whole face was flushed, and I felt my throat burn with thirst. The sensation wasn’t unmanageable but still a little disconcerting. Even though I still didn’t crave her blood, I knew I should better go hunting as soon as possible, just to be on the safe side.

Bella carefully entangled herself from my embrace and moved from my lap. She sat down beside me. As I’d predicted her emotions were all over the place, but at the same time I was glad that she hadn’t decided to put the lid back on, so to speak. But still, all I could ascertain for certain was that she was pretty much overwhelmed, and again very nervous. She didn’t look at me, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

“What are you thinking about, Darlin’?” I asked, softly demanding her attention. 

“What does this mean?” She countered, sounding uncertain and a little afraid all of the sudden. Was it just me, or did she fear rejection?

“Well, I don’t know.” I replied honestly. “I can’t explain why or how … but I’m not going to lie to you. I do have feelings for you, feelings that are far more than just friendly. I know it’s way too early to jump into any kind of romantic relationship … if that’s where we’re heading. But I don’t think that I can fight this anymore … and frankly I don’t want to. I really want to get to know you better.” I confessed, smiling at her. Bella’s heartbeat accelerated again.

She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself. A small smile played around her mouth. “I want that too.” She admitted, somewhat timidly. Where was the girl from before? The one who’d literally attacked me? “Actually I’ve wanted that for a very long time. And I have feelings for you too, but truth be told, I am afraid … partly because I don’t know why I feel that way about you, so deep and so fast. It’s very intense, and I think I need some time to work things out …”

I sighed in relief, a feeling I seemed to share with Bella at the moment, along with the confusion. “I know what you mean. It’s too soon, and too fast. But I know it’s real, whatever it is we are feeling. And I’m not just saying that because I’m an empath.” I chuckled, but continued at once. “Anyhow, I agree with you. I think we both need more time to come to terms with things. We’ve been through a lot … not only today … but in general. Small steps, right?”

She nodded in agreement. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Darlin’.”

Suddenly I was assaulted by a brief, but very vivid flashback. This wasn’t the first time I said those words to her. Back in Phoenix, in the hotel, when I was alone with her, trying to offer her some comfort and a helping hand to fall asleep, I’d used the exact same phrase. It was strange, but the meaning behind those words certainly hadn’t changed, not even after all this time. It was a promise – the same one as before – and I intended to keep … no matter what.

Not having a clue what else to do, I stood up. “How about you get ready for bed? I know you are tired. We can talk more tomorrow. There is a bathroom you can use across the hall.” I said. “I’ll go and fetch you a blanket. Maybe I can find you a pillow as well.”

“Okay. But you’ll stay with me here … during the night?” Bella requested shyly. She blushed again. I was amused to see her acting so innocently, almost like she was embarrassed by her previous naughty behavior. Truth be told, I liked both of those sides of her.

“Of course.” I promised at once. There was no place on earth I would rather be than with her.

Rather reluctantly we parted ways. I went back to my closet in the other room to search for a quilt and a pillow, while Bella left to take care of her human needs in the bathroom. I knew we both needed a little alone time to calm down, to figure things out. But it still hurt, being away from her, even for a few minutes. I already missed her touch, her lips on mine …

I couldn’t wipe the grin of my face. Bella kissed me. That in itself was a miracle, but her confession … well that made me deliriously happy. Not that I actually needed the verbal confirmation, considering me being an empath and all, but it was always nice to hear it, nonetheless. Especially, since Bella had the tendency to hide her emotions from me every now and then.

Over the last five decades I hadn’t kissed anyone but Alice. And why would I? After all, I’d thought that she was it for me, my true other half, my mate. But clearly, she wasn’t the one. Whatever I’d been feeling with Alice – intimate or otherwise – it didn’t even come close to what I was feeling right now. The brief, innocent touches, the kiss Bella and I had just shared … all of it felt completely different … new, exciting and utterly intoxicating. I could already imagine what it would feel like making Bella mine.

Yes, I’d promised her to take it slow, but the beast in me – not to mention the man – wanted her, badly. Especially now, that I’ve gotten a first taste of her arousal, figuratively speaking, but still. I’ve never smelled a more delicious scent than hers. It literally made my mouth water. But for the time being I decided to stick to the basics … holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that sort of thing. And it would be enough … for now.

‘Patience … all in due time …’ I reminded myself.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

I went and retrieved my toiletries and pajamas from my bag, before slipping into the bathroom.

Jasper was right. I was pretty beat, but also extremely hyped-up. I doubted that I would actually be able to fall asleep right now. But then again, I reckoned that I could always ask Jasper for assistance.

With my toothbrush and toothpaste in hand, I stepped in front of the sink. When my eyes landed on my reflection in the mirror, a gasp escaped my mouth, followed by a giggle.

My hair was a mess. In fact, I looked like I just got out of bed … or off the couch. I couldn’t help but blush, remembering why I looked the way I did … lips all swollen, eyes glassy, hair in disarray.

I still couldn’t believe it. Jasper Hale, no Jasper Whitlock, just kissed me … me, unworthy, self-conscious, broken, clumsy, little Bella. If it hadn’t been for the evident proof I would have pinched myself, to see whether I was dreaming or not. But apparently that wasn’t necessary.

I knew that neither one of us had planned for this to happen, but I sure as hell didn’t regret anything. Sure, I was a bit confused, unsure what it meant, but that was to be expected. That’s why I’d hurried to agree with Jasper to take things slow. Clearly, both of us had a lot of baggage to deal with. It would be foolish to jump right into a new relationship before we were completely ready. But then again how could something be wrong when it felt this good and just right?

Our first kiss hadn’t been perfect, but then again whose first kiss ever really was. I knew it had more to do with my inexperience and clumsiness than with Jasper’s skills, which were anything but inadequate. Strangely enough, his lips weren’t as unyielding as I’d expected them to be, going by my previous experiences in the kissing a vampire department. They weren’t exactly warm but not ice-cold either.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was bizarre ... for lack of a better term.

Even when Jasper had kept the kiss to a PG level, I had been able to sense something stronger brewing underneath his careful touches. At first I hadn’t been sure if he was projecting his feeling, or if he was just trying to make me feel more comfortable. But in the end it didn’t matter either way, because somehow I knew – even before his confession – that his feelings were true and genuine. That’s why I’d stopped him from saying that he was sorry, because I just knew that he wasn’t. And it was the same reason why I’d attacked him.

But my bold move aside, I was still shocked when Jasper’s tongue had touched my lips for the first time. Mostly because I had no experience with French kissing whatsoever. In fact, other than the gentle, closed-mouth kisses I had shared with Edward, I had no kissing experience at all. I could only hope that I hadn’t screwed up. I certainly didn’t want to make a fool out of myself. But going by certain physical signs, Jasper had enjoyed kissing me just as much as I had kissing him.

It was still funny, though. I couldn’t count the times I’d wished, and demanded, that Edward would kiss me like that. But no, he’d always refused, claiming that it was too dangerous for me, that he wouldn’t be able to keep his control if we would take things further. But now I knew that he’d lied about that. Granted, maybe things were different for him. After all, I was his singer, my blood a 24/7 temptation for him, but still. Jasper was a vampire too, one who allegedly had the least self-restraint among the family. But he hadn’t tried to bite me even once today … which was even further proof that he wasn’t as weak as everyone, including himself, thought he was.

Deep down I always believed that if Edward had really wanted to kiss me like that, he would have been able to do so. After all, we had been together for a long time, spending almost every free minute together, thus allowing him to get used to my scent. Not to mention the fact that he’d actually tasted my blood that one time, without losing it … which left only one conclusion. Edward had never wanted me like that. The realization made me a little sad, but mostly it made me mad. He’d made me believe that he had been in love with me, as much as I had been with him. But apparently, that hadn’t been the case.

I took in a deep breath and shook my head. This was so not the time to think about my ex. Not when there was someone in the other room who clearly wasn’t afraid to get close and show me his affection … and more than eager to receive mine. I blushed again, remembering how aggressively I’d behaved, initiating the second kiss. There was really no need to deny anything; I’d wanted it as much as he had. And I still craved more. As much as I wanted to blame my stupid teenage hormones, I knew that they weren’t the only reason for my wild behavior. It was so much more than just a chance to satisfy on my (suppressed) sexual desires … 

I probably would have remained there, standing frozen in front of the mirror, thinking, trying to make sense of things, if it hadn’t been for the noise Jasper made. I couldn’t tell if he made it deliberately or not, but in the end it didn’t matter. It had the desired effect, finally pulling me out of my stupor.

I had no idea how much time had passed. Probably not more than just a few minutes, but it felt longer. Not wanting to worry Jasper unnecessarily, I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face and changed into my PJ’s. Knowing that I would need it again in the morning, I left my toilet bag in the bathroom, only taking my clothes with me.

When I finally reentered the study, I could see that Jasper had been indeed very busy. He had transformed the couch into a bed, complete with a couple of pillows and a thick quilt. It did look very inviting and certainly big enough for the both of us. Of course, I was quite aware that Jasper didn’t need a place to sleep, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t lie down with me. Even though I had only requested that he would stay with me during the night, I still hoped, well, no, I wanted more than that. I felt the strange but strong need to have him at my side, close by, as close as possible actually. True, I wasn’t ready to take this – whatever it was – any further than kissing, but I still wanted to feel his arms around me, while I was sleeping.

“It looks cozy.” I commented, dumping my clothes on a chair.

Jasper chuckled. “It’s the best I can offer you.”

I smiled, swiftly moving past him, and got under the blanket. Sure, it wasn’t nearly as comfortable as my own bed, but right now, this was the only place I wanted to be. Jasper stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“Will you hold me, until I’ll fall asleep?” I asked, blushing furiously.

“It would be my pleasure.” Jasper replied, quickly joining me. I pulled the quilt over us both, wanting to feel him. I snuggled closer, resting my head on his chest. Not being able to hear his heartbeat didn’t freak me out, since I was used to this kind of quirk.

“Am I not too cold or hard for you?” He inquired, while sniffing at my hair. A low rumble went through his body, sounding almost like a purr.

I giggled. “Oddly enough … no.”

“Hmmm.” He sighed in contentment. “I like this.”

“Me too.” I confessed, yawning.

“Sleep now, Darlin’. I will stay right here with you … the whole night.” He promised, placing a gentle kiss on top of my head. I smiled, and moments later I was out cold.


	13. This is fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one. I hope you enjoy it.

Peter POV

 

Taking flight was the only thing I could think of. True, it wasn’t one of my bravest moves, but certainly one of my wiser decisions.

The atmosphere in the room had become quite stifling, to put it lightly, certainly too much for all of us to handle. And considering what had happened earlier, I thought it was for the best to leave. After all, Jasper’s patience had been tested enough for one day. I certainly didn’t want him to snap again, especially not around Bella. Not that I actually anticipated a similar reaction like before, but I surely didn’t want to take any chances. Not with her …

We didn’t exchange a word after leaving the house. Charlotte just followed me into the woods, clearly knowing where I was taking her. There was a small cottage in the depth of the woods, far away from any human trail. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it would serve its purpose … a secluded place for me and my mate, to reunite and then to have a serious talk without being overheard by our brother.

As soon as the door closed behind us, I pinned my love to the ground, kissing her with total abandon. She reciprocated at once, clearly wanting it just as much as I. Any rational thought left my mind, and my primal needs took over.

‘There will be time for us to talk later … now I have more important things to do …’

Charlotte didn’t mind the distraction. Quite the contrary, she welcomed it. I knew my mate. Forcing her to share information so soon wasn’t going to work. In this we were similar. She needed to come to terms with it on her own first, before she would be able to talk about it with me. And knowing that we had hours until Bella would be awake again, I knew I could take my time to worship my wife’s body, thoroughly, in every way possible, over and over again.

 

+++

 

Hours later we lay naked on the rug in front of the small fireplace, our legs still entangled, holding each other. I had lit the wood just moments ago. True, it wasn’t necessary, but the warmth was very pleasant to us vampires nonetheless.

“Feeling better now, honey?” I asked softly, nuzzling Char’s neck.

Even though I was satisfied for the moment, I knew I would never tire to show my mate how much I desired and loved her. I let my finger trail over her arm, across her stomach and she shivered with pleasure. Even in the dim light of the fire, any vampire could see that her entire body was covered with scars just as mine, a permanent reminder of our shared past life. But to me she was the most beautiful and desirable woman on earth. And I knew for certain that she thought the same about me.

“Sure do.” She replied, sighing in pure contentment.

“Care to share your epiphany now?” I asked, playfully yet carefully.

My mate groaned in answer, wriggling around in my arms until she was facing me. “Was this all a ruse then? Making me come ten times just so you can pump me for information?” She accused me. To an outsider her words might have sounded harsh, but I knew better. She wasn’t angry with me. Not really, anyhow.

“Don’t tell it didn’t work?” I asked, faking hurt.

“Stop that, Peter!” She chided, smacking my arm playfully. “You are evil, you know.”

“I do, and proud of it.” I said, smirking at her. “Now, spill!”

Char rolled her eyes at me, huffing. “There is nothing much to tell. They are soul mates.” She simply stated, shrugging it off, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. Even though I knew my mate better than anyone, in that moment I wasn’t quite able to tell if she was happy about the fact or not.

“That’s what I’d suspected.” I nodded. And it was true. I had guessed as much before, but it was good to have my suspicion confirmed by the expert on that particular matter. I gently stroked my mate’s cheek. “Tell me, sweetheart, what are you worried about?”

She exhaled loudly. “It’s not that I’m not glad to see Jasper happy. I am. You know that. But with a human?” She stared at me incredulously.

“Is that all you are concerned about? That she is human?” I retorted, a bit annoyed, but mostly confused. Deep down I knew it was just an excuse. She was probably more worried about the fact that Bella was also connected the Cullens.

“Isn’t that reason enough? Not only does she know about our secret … and let’s face it that alone is bad news … but she is responsible for Jasper’s breakdown in the first place.” She defended herself, rather heatedly. I didn’t say anything in return, but let her continue her rant. I needed her to get it all out. “On the other hand … I must say that I am happy that as a result he finally broke his ties with the Cullens … even if it wasn’t deliberately. But still I think it’s the best thing that could have happened … all things considered. They haven’t been good for him … especially the pixie.

“But to be honest what I’ve seen at the house, scares me. Their bond is already strong … and they don’t even realize it. With time their bond will strengthen, become stronger … maybe even stronger than ours. Yes, I know he deserves happiness and love … probably more than anybody. But why does it have to be with this human?” She moaned.

“You know that she doesn’t have to stay human?” I reminded her.

“Do you actually think that he will change her? Or that she will even allow this to happen?” She countered.

“If it’s true what you said about them being soul mates … then yes. You know the Major as well as I do. He can be very convincing when he wants something. And let’s face it … we all are selfish creatures by nature.” Well, except for Bella, perhaps, I added in my mind. “And I am pretty sure that Bella has considered it before today. Why else would she have been with Edward for so long. Believe me, her becoming one of us some day, won’t be an issue.”

“So you are going to support them?” She asked curiously. I could still a slight note of irritation in her voice, but I chose to ignore it.

“Yes,” I stated with full conviction. “Because I know it is the right thing to do. You haven’t seen them together. They are perfect for each other. In fact, they actually need each other. Even a blind man could see that. And they are going to need our help … well at least Jasper will.” I chuckled. Despite the small, but clear signs of their unquestionably connection, I knew that Jasper would have trouble trusting his feelings right now … or anyone else’s.

“Hmmm …” Char mused. I gave her a moment to think on my words, but I needed to know where she was standing.

“So are you with me or not?”

“Seems like I don’t have much of a choice in the matter … And who am I to break up a perfect match? Okay, I’m in. But I don’t have to like it … or her.” She said, petulantly.

I laughed, capturing her pouty lips in a quick kiss. “Oh trust me, babe, you will. Nobody is immune to Bella’s charm.” I affirmed. It might take some time, but I had no doubt that Charlotte would come around eventually.

“Come on.” I said, pulling her up with me. “Let’s get dressed and go back.”

“But it’s still early. Must we really go yet?” She purred, seductively tracing her fingers down my chest. I caught them just in time.

“Sorry, my love, there is no time for another round. We have something to take care of, before we actually go back to the house.”

She raised her eyebrows in question. “And what might that be?”

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

Bella immediately fell asleep, with her head on my chest and her arm around my waist. The warmth of her body enveloped me like a cocoon, making me feel safe and loved for the first time in a very long time, maybe even for the first time ever.

‘What a day!’ I sighed.

I was happy – no doubt about that – but I was also utterly exhausted and confused. So much has happened in the past twelve hours. To tell the truth, I was quite surprised how well I had handled the pressure, considering the circumstances. True, things hadn’t gone over without a hitch, but I’d managed to get through all of this mess without any major outbursts, physical or otherwise. Now, with Bella sound asleep in my arms, I let the events of this day replay in my mind.

This morning my only concern was how my family would react to my unannounced return, after my prolonged absence. Instead of having to deal with them, the one and only person whose reaction I’d clandestinely feared the most had shown up.

‘Today of all days ... it must be fate.’

Being a mystical creature myself, I have never dared to question the concept of destiny. After everything I’d been through, I strongly believed that there was no such thing as coincidence. I knew that it had been fate when I met Maria and her friends that night, which had ended with my change into a creature of the night ... as the humans used to call our kind inadequately.

‘Although at the time and place that’s exactly what we were ...’

It had been my fate – not to mention my duty – to fight for her for all those years, equally creating and destroying countless of vampires. And it had also been fate that I found and turned both Peter and Charlotte, training them to serve Maria’s sole purpose, acquiring more territory and thus gaining more control. And then, for just a moment, I‘d let my gut feeling rule me. I’d allowed them to escape, thus irrefutably shaping their fate as well as mine. Fortunately they had come back in my darkest hour, convincing me that there was indeed a life outside this hell, a life worth living and exploring. I truly believed that we had been destined to become friends, otherwise why have I dared to disobey a direct order from my sire?

And of course it also had been fate that I happened to be in that dinner in Philadelphia when I first met Alice. Sure, she’d had her hands in it somehow, but still, it had been my decision to enter the place, not hers or anyone else’s. She just happened to take advantage of the information she obtained through her gift ... like convincing me that my true destiny lay with her. And at the time I hadn’t doubted her one bit. Curious but at the same time anxious to embrace this new life she’d promised me, I had allowed her to drag me along.

Meeting the Cullens for the first time had been hard, and awkward. To say that they had been shocked was a complete understatement. The fear the four vampires had given off, had been staggering but understandable. To them my scars were easily visible, a clear sign of my past. They practically screamed danger. For a moment I’d considered to turn around and leave, but Alice had them wrapped around her fingers in no time, convincing them that I meant them no harm.

‘Funny, how things change ...’

To cut a long story short I was convinced that fate has brought me here today, to this place, reuniting me with this beautiful and amazing person in my arms.

It was such a wonderful feeling to know that she was so comfortable around me, that she allowed herself to be that vulnerable in the presence of a monster like me. But furthermore I couldn’t understand how she was able to sleep like this in the first place. After all, I was pliant but hard as stone, and cold as ice. I tried to move away from her, but she just gripped my shirt tighter, begging me without words not to leave her side. And how could I not comply? I wanted to stay right here with her ... forever, if she would let me.

And then I suddenly recalled her earlier words. She’d said that I didn’t feel that hard and cold to her. I had no idea how that was possible. As far as I knew I was like any other of my kind, at least in that area. True, according to Edward Bella often said things to make people feel better, but I knew that this wasn’t the case here. I’d felt her honesty behind her words, as well as her own confusion. She didn’t seem to understand it either, but for some unknown reason she didn’t question it, just accepting the fact.

This was just one of the many things that made me love this woman so intensely, so fast. I smiled, caressing her cheek with only my fingertips, careful not to disturb her in his sleep.

I still was stunned by the depth of my feelings, and the fact that she seemed to reciprocate them. How did this happen? And what did this mean? Has there always been some kind of connection between us? And how was she able to shut of her emotions at will all of a sudden? She certainly she wasn’t able to do that in the past. Was her gift – whatever it was – advancing? And why did the touch of her skin didn’t burn me?

In the past I would have gone straight to Carlisle to seek out the answers to all these questions. With him being the oldest of the family, and his never-ending yearning for knowledge, not to mention his connection to the Volturi, I knew he would be my best chance to get to the bottom of this mystery. Thinking about Carlisle made me realize how much I truly missed him. He might not have been the father figure for me as he was for the others, but I’ve always had the utmost respect for him. I’ve always appreciated his compassion, his advice and his guidance. Right now I could use his insight. But I wasn’t ready to make contact with him or the others ... not yet anyway.

As nice as the little interruption was, I was glad to finally have the opportunity to truly come to terms with what I’ve learned from Rose’s letter. The majority of the content didn’t come as a surprise. Of course I’ve already figured that everyone was mad at me. But just like Rose, I was a bit surprised that Alice and Edward had been the driving force behind the decision to leave Forks, and Bella. To say that I was disappointed in Alice and mad at Edward didn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling.

Next to me Bella stirred, moaning in her sleep. It almost sounded like she was in pain. I immediately knew I was responsible, obviously projecting my emotions on her.

“Sorry, Darlin’.” I whispered, inhaling her scent, with the desired effect. I calmed down, and so did Bella. She sighed in relief. “That’s it. Sleep, my angel.”

Careful not to get worked up again, I diverted my thoughts in a different direction. Thinking about Rose’s encouraging words seemed be the better choice. Needless to say I was very touched by them, but at the same time I felt ashamed. I hadn’t realized before how much I’d hurt her by leaving, and staying away for so long. Of course, I intended to call her, but not before I shared the letter with Bella and Peter. Not that I needed their approval or anything, but I didn’t want to keep secrets from either one of them ... not anymore. Right here and now I made a silent promise to myself that I would tell Bella about my past as soon as possible, knowing it was the right thing to do, if I wanted us to become more than friends.

I was ready to start over, to pursue a new path. Sure, I probably would have to make some necessary adjustments, as well as some sacrifices along the way to accomplish my goals, but I knew in the end it would be worth it.

I could already tell that this time was going to be different. For one I was eager to embrace my new future, no hesitation to speak of. But more importantly, I was doing it of my own free will. No one was influencing me, emotionally or otherwise.

Charlotte might have been tempted in the past, and Peter might be sneaky bastard, but neither one of them was stupid enough to try anything, fully aware of the consequences. And Bella, well she would never even consider lowering herself to that level. Compared to anyone of us, she was a saint. In fact, I’ve never met anyone as good and selfless as her, human or vampire. Sure, she had her own ambitions, but she would never stop at nothing to achieve her goals, literally and figuratively speaking.

Bella was the kind of person I would do anything just to make her smile. I would protect her, no matter what. Not only that, I would even give my life for her … because she was worth it.

In just a few hours she had managed to show me my inner strength, the kindness that seemingly had slumbered underneath the surface the entire time. Considering that, I finally realized that my life with Alice had been nothing but a farce. Sure, at the time it was what I wanted or at least was she made me believe I needed. How did I not see that my wife had been manipulating me, using my own gift against me? I must have been blinded by love and trust – feelings that, in retrospect, I had been wasting on the wrong person. Alice certainly didn’t deserve my trust, not after what she had done to me … and Bella. Making me believe that I was weak, not worth anyone’s trust or help … well no wonder that my love for her had turned into hate.

Having learned my lesson, I kept a tight lid on those particular feelings this time, not wanting to disturb my sleeping angel again. I looked down at her, smiling. Bella was indeed the exact opposite of Alice, and that was why I had no doubt in my mind, that she was my future.

My true destiny.

 

\+ + +

 

Peter and Charlotte came back around seven thirty in the morning, but neither one of them came looking for me or Bella. And I was grateful for that. I didn’t want to leave Bella’s side. As if, anyone would be able to drag me from this place. I finally understood what had driven Edward to watch her sleeping almost every night. She was a vision. And she talked during her sleep. I hadn’t been able to make any sense of her words, but at least whatever she was dreaming about wasn’t bad. I monitored her emotional state very closely, glad that she hadn’t put up her shield again. But maybe she wasn’t able to do that when she was sleeping?

‘Although it had worked while she was unconscious …’ I mused. ‘But who cares about the reason? Enjoy it while it lasts ...’

But unfortunately the peace and quiet was soon disrupted. I could hear them bickering downstairs, but I couldn’t make out the words. I would have continued to ignore it, if it hadn’t been for the other noise, the clanging, and banging, and rummaging through the kitchen drawers. That certainly got my attention.

‘What are they up to now?’ I groaned.

Slowly, and very carefully, I eased myself out from under Bella’s embrace, and lowered her head to the pillow. She stirred a bit at the repositioning, but fortunately she didn’t wake up. Sleeping Bella looked rather appealing, and I had a hard time leaving the room. But my curiosity was certainly, and I had to check things. I placed a quick kiss on Bella’s temple, smirking when she whispered my name. And then I left.

On my way downstairs I could detect the scent of coffee and baked goods, like muffins and that sort of stuff. I remembered that smell from the time Esme had made breakfast for Bella on the days she’d stayed over. When I entered the kitchen, I froze on the spot. I could hardly believe my eyes. My brother was setting up an enormous breakfast feast for Bella, wearing a fucking apron.

I burst out laughing. “You look ridiculous.”

Peter chuckled, but did ignore my comment or my presence otherwise.

“I told him the same thing.” Charlotte said, joining us in the kitchen. “Where is the human?”

I could sense that Charlotte had some reservations about Bella. I could also pick up the tiniest amount of jealousy, an emotion I strangely seemed to share with her in that moment. I should be the one making breakfast for her, not my brother.

“Bella is still upstairs, sleeping.” I answered shortly. “What’s all this?”

“What does it look like? Breakfast, of course.” Peter said, waving his hand dismissively, like he was doing nothing out of the ordinary. I had no idea that he even knew how to cook. He put down the knife he had been using to cut some fruit and looked straight at me for the first time since I entered the room.

“Well, well, well ... must have been some night for you.” He said, sniffing the air. “Her scent is all over you. Couldn’t keep your hands to yourselves, eh, Major?” He teased.

“Fuck you. It’s not what you think.” I snapped.

“It’s not?” He countered, sparing me a meaningful look.

‘That’s it. He knows something ... something other than rightfully assuming about my make-out session with Bella …’

“Spit it out, man.” I commanded.

“Spit what out?” He tried to play innocent, but failing miserably.

“Whatever you think you know.” I huffed.

“I don’t know anything.” Peter replied, using his usual tactic of deflection.

I knew that he was lying, but it was clear that he wasn’t going to tell me anything right now. And since I wasn’t in the mood for playing his game or starting a fight, I shrugged it off, for the time being. “Whatever.”

Peter laughed and returned to his task. Charlotte shook her head, apparently feeling just as annoyed as I was with Peter’s childish behavior. I even caught her rolling her eyes at Peter. When she saw me, watching her, she smiled at me timidly.

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” She said, and I could tell that she really meant it. “I hope I didn’t scare her.”

Both Peter and I chuckled at that statement. “Don’t worry, you haven’t. Actually, I think there is almost nothing that can scare Bella.” I assured her. “But in any case I think you should apologize to her, and maybe explain why you’ve reacted the way you did.” I hinted, not without any ulterior motives. I was very curious myself about the reason. But since Peter wasn’t in the mood to share any information with me, I doubted that Charlotte would be any more compliant. I was pretty sure they’d talked about the events from last night, and decided to keep it a secret from me.

“Breakfast is ready. Why don’t you go up and wake Bella.” Peter suggested, picking up a cup and filled it with coffee. I distinctly got the impression that he wanted me out of the kitchen before I could change my mind and ask the wrong questions. He shoved the cup in my hands. “Here take this with you. Trust me. She will be very grateful.” He said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. I growled at him, but refrained from making a verbal comment.

With the cup of hot, steaming coffee I went back upstairs. I could already sense that Bella was awake. And without announcing my entrance, I opened the door to my study. Bella stood beside the couch, just pulling on a shirt. I still got a very good look at the tiny, red bra she was wearing.

‘Damn it, that’s my favorite color.’

My breath got stuck, and I froze on the spot. I didn’t even notice the cup of coffee slipping out of my hand, not until it hit the floor, breaking into bits, spilling its content on the floor.

Bella’s head snapped up at the sudden noise. Clearly she hadn’t noticed my entrance at all. When she took in my demeanor, she blushed at first, but quickly composed herself. Her eyes wandered from mine, down to the floor, examining the mess. Suddenly she started to laugh.

“Bella, I’m ... I’m so sorry.” I stuttered.

By now she was doubling over with laughter. “What ... what are ... you apologizing ... for?” She managed to get out, while trying to catch her breath. “For seeing me half naked or ruining your own carpet?”

I was stunned speechless by her bluntness. In fact, I just stood there like an idiot, staring at her with my mouth open. I didn’t know how I’d expected her to react, but this ... this surely was the last thing that had come to my mind.

‘She is fucking laughing at me ...’

Her amusement about the stupid incident was simply mind-boggling but sobering, and quite obviously very infectious. I could hear Peter’s and Charlotte’s laughter from downstairs. They might not have seen anything, thank God for small favors, but they had been able to hear every word. I finally couldn’t fight it any longer and joined in. When we finally calmed down some, I turned around, shutting the door with a bang, making Bella jump.

‘It’s time to show you that it’s not nice to antagonize a vampire, my sweet, innocent girl ...’

I slowly but deliberately closed the distance between Bella and myself, moving like a predator hunting his prey. Bella showed no fear. I kept my face calm, and my eyes never left hers. I stopped right in front of her, not waiting a second longer, just pulling her into my arms. And then I leaned down.

“So, Darlin’. You think this was funny?” I growled into her ear. I could detect a slight shiver running down her spine, and her heartbeat sped up. She still wasn’t frightened, but clearly excited. The sweet scent of her arousal was hard to miss.

‘Is she for real? She is getting turned on by this?’ I was surprised, but more than that I immensely pleased by this discovery.

“Is there anything I can do, to make it up to you?” Bella whispered seductively into my ear. I only groaned in answer, swiftly capturing her lips in a heated kiss, before she could say or do something else. She moaned in response, quickly turning this kiss into something dangerous, when she allowing me to thrust my tongue into her mouth. Her luscious scent, her sweet taste, her soft skin on mine ... everything assaulted my senses, making me hard in an instant.

How I was able to even have one lucid thought under the circumstances was truly beyond me. But I knew this was neither the time nor the place for taking this further, like I wanted to ... like we both obviously wanted to. I reluctantly broke our connection, smiling down at her, leaning my forehead against hers, giving her the opportunity to catch her breath and calm down some. To be honest I needed to do the same.

“Consider your apology accepted!” I purred, making her laugh in response. I would never tire to hear that sound. I loosened my hold on her somewhat, but I didn’t let go off her completely. I simply couldn’t, craving her touch so much by now. To tell the truth, it felt like it would actually cause me physical pain, if I let go of her completely. And I didn’t want to put it to a test, yet.

I gently stroked her face. She closed her eyes, and sighed in pure contentment, leaning into my touch.

“Food’s getting cold!” Peter shouted from the kitchen, making me groan in annoyance and Bella giggle in return. And right on cue her stomach started to growl.

“There is food and more coffee waiting for you downstairs.” I told her. “Let me clean up this mess. I’ll meet you downstairs in a moment.” I added, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. Bella nodded once in agreement, and went straight for the door and out of the room, but not before glancing back at me one last time, giving me a dazzling smile.

‘Oh God, this woman will be the death of me, I swear! But it would be so worth it ...’

Just as I expected, as soon as she was out of my arms and out of the room, a feeling of incompleteness bordering on emptiness crept upon me.

‘This is just crazy! She is like a drug ... and I’m feeling like an addict, anxious for my next fix …’

I wondered if she felt the same way. Once again her emotions were hard to read. A part of me was hoping that she didn’t. The way my body and soul were aching for her right now … I certainly didn’t want her to experience that kind of torture. But the bigger, more selfish part of me, was hoping she was sharing my misery.

Not wanting prolong the agony, I quickly picked up the broken pieces of the cup, disposing them into the wastepaper basket hidden underneath my desk. Then I went into the bathroom across the hall to retrieve a towel, sweeping up the spilled liquid with it. I knew it wasn’t the best way to clean up the mess, but it was the fastest. I didn’t want to waste time apart from Bella with searching for proper cleaning material. I threw the stained clothe into the hamper, and went down to join the others in the kitchen.

Bella sat at the counter, sipping her coffee. A plate loaded with pancakes and scrambled eggs stood before her, still untouched. She seemed to be totally at ease. Sure, I knew that she was already quite fond of my brother, but I was a bit concerned that Charlotte’s presence might make her feel uncomfortable, especially after their first meeting. But apparently that wasn’t the case. But then again, I really should have known better by now to underestimate Bella. She wasn’t easily intimidated. All I could sense was open curiosity, mixed in with a hint of awkwardness, coming from both of the women in the room.

“And the Oscar for ‘The clumsiest vampire of the year’ goes to.” Peter announced, greeting me with his usual wicked grin.

I flipped him off, threatening him with a look, and a silent warning. ‘Just you wait ... You will be paying for this ... once we’re alone ...’

Peter’s smirk just widened further. “Bella’s tits must be really impressive, for you to lose your motor skills.” He taunted, knowing perfectly well how close I was to snap. But Charlotte beat me to the punch.

THUD.

Her hand collided with the back of Peter’s head, hard enough to make him hiss in pain. “Ouch! What was that for, woman?” He wailed, sounding much like Emmett at the moment, behaving not much differently either.

“Like you don’t know.” Charlotte shot back. “Just be glad, it was my hand and not Jasper’s.” She had a point there.

“Thank you, Charlotte.” Bella said, calling our combined attention. She looked a little flushed, like she was embarrassed … which was understandable, considering Peter’s choice of words. ‘Fucker!’

“For what?” Charlotte asked, totally taken aback by Bella’s heartfelt gratitude. I was equally surprised by her comment, but I could also sense a little mischievousness brewing underneath Bella’s otherwise reserved posture.

“For doing something I am unfortunately unable to do myself ... well at least not without breaking my hand in the process, that is. And believe me; I’ve had my fare share of hospital visits this year.” She said, grinning at Peter’s mate.

And just like that Charlotte’s former hesitancy towards Bella vanished into thin air, changing into something else entirely. “Anytime.” She winked at Bella, who simply nodded in acknowledgment, before picking up her fork and digging into her meal.

“Hey, no conspiring with my wife ... and especially not against me.” Peter complained, playfully though. It was quite obvious that he was as glad as I was to see them like this, being at ease with each other. For a moment I wondered if he’d planned this whole thing. But even if, I could hardly be mad at him for the outcome. “Major, a little help here, please.”

“Sorry, but no can do. You are on your own.” I said with a smirk of my own, effectively closing the topic.

 

\+ + +

 

The rest of the morning went by uneventful. Bella eventually finished her big breakfast, thanking Peter over and over again for doing this, which didn’t make me exactly happy. And Peter, being Peter, had to exploit my irritation.

“See, she likes me better than you.” He jibed, looking straight at Bella. “You do, don’t you, little lady?”

To my horror she actually nodded. “But just because you kinda remind me of Esme.”

That statement had an immediate effect, on all of us. I, for one, felt relieved, and a little stupid. Peter, thank god, finally shut up for good. And Charlotte, well she burst out laughing. 

“She’s a keeper!” She chuckled.

I couldn’t agree more.

Charlotte and Peter excused themselves soon after, leaving to do God knows what. I didn’t care, because all I wanted was spending more alone time with Bella. With the others around I had restrained myself as best as I could, trying not to succumb to my desires. It wasn’t an easy task, considering her body was literally screaming ‘Touch me, touch me … touch me right now!’ It really it took a lot of strength to resist, but I managed, just barely.

But then again it was probably for the best. Since we hadn’t had the chance to really talk about the whole thing, I didn’t want to presume anything. Bella might not be ready yet to put our new relationship on display. But at least she didn’t flip out, when both Peter and Charlotte implied that they knew there was something more going on between us, than just being friends.

“So, do you have any plans for today?” I asked her when we were back in my study. She sat on my chair, watching me putting the bed back into its original state.

“No I don’t, but I think it’s better if I go home right now ... just in case Charlie will be back early.” Bella clarified.

“Okay, let me take you home.” I agreed, smiling when I detected her excitement. But there was something else. Relief? Was she actually thinking that I had something better to do than spending the day with her? That I would just kick her out after all that had happened? She clearly still had serious issues with rejection and abandonment. And seeing as it had been my brother who was the source for those feelings, I could understand her reaction. I probably reminded her of him ... at least in some ways. I didn’t like the thought but I understood it to some extent. ‘Time to remedy that …’

“Hey, since Peter and Char are gone, maybe I could spend the day with you ... at your house, keeping you company until your father comes home. What do think?” I suggested casually.

“I’d like that.” She answered, smiling widely.

“Good, that’s settled then. Pack up your things, and then we can go.”

She quickly went into the bathroom to retrieve her toiletries. In the meantime I snatched Rose’s letter from where I’d put last night, and stashed it in the back pocket of my jeans. A few minutes later we were ready to leave.

“Car or my back?” I asked when we stood on the front porch.

Her response was quick and clear, leaving no room for any doubts. “Your back!”

Considering how much she enjoyed the ride the last time, her enthusiasm wasn’t much of a surprise. I turned around with a grin, offering my back. She climbed on with an excited giggle, and then we were off.

The run back to her house was too damn short for my taste. But these days I went by the motto ‘I take what I can get’. I helped her of my back at the edge of the woods behind her house, and we walked the rest of the way together. She didn’t fumble with the keys like she did yesterday, but somehow I got the impression that she still was a little nervous about something.

“Would you like to come in?” She asked me, smirking at me. It was the same question she asked me the day before. This time I was ready and more than eager to except her invitation.

“Gladly.” I replied. She went in first, and I followed her quietly.

We went straight upstairs to her room. She put down her bag and then turned around to face me. “Well, this is my room ... oh right, you’ve here before ...” She babbled.

I cautiously closed the distance between us, taking her hands into mine. Again the strange electric tremor went through my entire body, but I decided to ignore it for the moment. She was definitely nervous about something. Maybe she was thinking I would take advantage of her. She needed to know that despite what already had occurred between us, I wouldn’t force her to take things further before she was ready, even though I really, really wanted to.

“I didn’t come here for this. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” I reassured her. 

She blushed, clearly realizing what I was referring to. “I know. That’s not it.”

I guided her to her bed, and we sat down beside each other, barely touching except for our still entwined hands. Maybe not my best idea, but it was the only viable choice, considering she didn’t have a couch in her room. I could have taken a seat on her chair, but I wanted to be as close as possible to her.

“Then tell me, what are you so nervous about?” I asked softly, allowing her to feel my sympathy.

“Who says I’m nervous?” She retorted.

I chuckled at her feeble attempt to fool me. “Empath, remember.” I reminded her, leaving out the fact that I could hear her heartbeat too. “But please don’t try and hide your feelings from me. I rather like it ... being able to sense what you are feeling. It gives me great comfort.” I confessed.

Bella clearly liked my admission. “I won’t. I only keep my emotions to myself when I think it would hurt you. I don’t want that.”

‘God, I love you!’

Instead of saying those words out loud, I placed both of my hands on her cheeks, kissing her very gently. “Thank you!” I breathed against her lips. I pulled back a bit to look at her. She looked sort of dazzled, but didn’t say anything in return, not that I’d expected her to.

Instead she crashed her mouth on mine, pushing me on my back. I eagerly complied, pulling her on top of me. Our tongues dueled for dominance, but eventually we were settling into a nice rhythm, equally giving and receiving. My hands encircled her back, while hers went into my hair. When she pulled to catch her breath, I didn’t stop, but went on, trailing open-mouthed kisses along her chin, down to her throat. I could almost taste the blood pumping through her veins underneath the thin skin. But that wasn’t as distracting or alluring as her scent of arousal. Her little moans of pleasure were making me harder than I already was. I bucked up, letting her know what she was doing to me, how much I wanted her. In answer the grinded her hot core into my groin. Even through the many layers I could feel, how wet she already was. I groaned at that realization.

‘Take it slow!’ I reminded myself sternly. ‘But she wants you ... and you want her ...’

Suddenly I could hear a car coming down the street, considerably slowing down the closer it came to the house, which could only mean one thing.

‘Fuck! Speak about bad timing!’

I gently pushed against her shoulders. “Bella, we need to stop.”

“No, no, no, we don’t.” She insisted, trying to get me to continue where we left off by pulling at my hair. I rather liked that, but I knew I needed stop her ... right now.

“Your father is back.” I let her know. That seemed to sober her up in an instant. She sat up immediately, still panting hard, her face flushed, both from our make-out session as well from embarrassment of nearly getting caught. I so I presumed.

I popped myself up on my elbow, watching her, trying to fix her hair and smoothing her clothes.

“Will you wait for me here?” She asked, rather timidly all of the sudden.

“Sure, I promise.” I said, stealing one last kiss from her. “Now go. Eat. Spend some quality time with your dad.” I ordered jokingly. She nodded and left the room, just as the Sherriff pulled into the driveway.

 

\+ + +

 

I sat on Bella’s bed, waiting patiently for her to finish dinner with her dad. Well, maybe not so patiently. I could hardly await her return. Even though it has been just half an hour or so since she left the room, I was missing her closeness like crazy, her touch and her warmth.

Having not much else to do but sit there and stare holes in the wall, I kept replaying our make-out session in my mind. I had no idea how I’d managed to stop myself from taking her right then. To tell the truth, it had taken quite a lot not to give into my true desires. I wanted her, badly, and that want seemed to increase exponentially with every passing second. But considering that she didn’t have any experience in that department, I knew that I should take this slow, for her sake, even though she didn’t make it easy for me to accomplish that.

‘Try harder!’ I told myself, sternly.

But seriously, even though I’d taken great pleasure in getting sidetracked by Bella, I’d come here to show her the letter my sister had left me.

‘Funny, how things turn out …’

Not for the first time I imagined how Bella would react, reading Rose’s letter. I was pretty sure that Bella would appreciate my sister’s honesty. And knowing how perceptive she was, I also knew that Bella would be able to read between the lines, finally realizing that Edward hadn’t left her for her own good but because he actually didn’t really love her. At least that was my conclusion. But even though I knew she deserved truth, I was concerned how she would take that piece of information.

But at least she would get a glimpse of Rose’s true nature, the side my sister had been hiding from her and the rest of the family. Leaving Bella without her consent, without giving her the chance to say goodbye in person, clearly had made quite an impact on both my sister and my brother. I still hoped that Bella would be able to forgive them, both of them ... in time. But knowing Bella, the odds were in their favor.

‘Gotta love that girl ... I sure do ...’

Suddenly my beeper buzzed. Peter had given me this thing a few weeks ago. At the time I’d wondered why he hadn’t given me a cell phone instead, but he’d just said he had his reasons. ‘Cryptic son of a bitch!’

I pulled the thing out of my pocket, and read the message.

GET BACK TO THE HOUSE. RIGHT NOW! THERE IS A PROBLEM. P.

Problem? What kind of problem could there be? Did the family return? I doubted that. But whatever it was, it was urgent enough for Peter to let me know. I didn’t want to leave, but when the second message came in, repeating the words ‘RIGHT NOW’ followed by a dozen exclamation points, I knew that I had to go and check things.

I went over to Bella’s desk, picking up a piece of paper and a pen. I couldn’t just leave without leaving her at least a note. Not knowing what else to tell her, I just wrote that I went home, but promised to return later. I felt bad for leaving such the vague message. But then again, what else could I have told her? I didn’t know what was going on, and there was certainly no point in worrying her without reason. I left Peter’s cell number too, just in case. Then I placed the letter in the middle of her bed, where she would find easily it.

Not having much of a choice, I left through the window, running home as fast as I could. It only took me five minutes.

Peter stood on the porch, scanning the surrounding area. He was tense, very tense, which was not a good sign. When I reached the house, I immediately knew why.

“Someone has been here.” I growled, stating the obvious.

“Yes.” He confirmed. His voice was strained. “I didn’t recognize the scent. I thought maybe you might.”

I took in a deep breath. The scent was faint, but still strong enough to identify its owner. A low, but menacing growl escaped my chest.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

After dinner I cleaned up the kitchen and Charlie went into the living room to watch some game. I took my time, because I already knew that nobody was waiting for me upstairs. How I knew this was still a mystery to me, but I knew that he was gone. It was just like yesterday, when Jasper showed up at my window. I just knew that he was there … like a buzzing at the back of my mind, telling me that he was near. That feeling had suddenly disappeared while I was having dinner with Charlie.

‘I wonder why I had never felt this kinda connection with Edward …’ I mused for a second, but I quickly discarded that thought.

I wasn’t mad that Jasper hadn’t said goodbye in person. How could he, with my father in the house? But I was a little disappointed, and concerned to be honest. Something important must have come up, otherwise why would he break his promise to wait for my return.

‘Maybe he just went hunting …’ I told myself, knowing it could be a likely possibility, but probably not the case this time.

I just finished the dishes, when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.” I shouted from the kitchen. I could hear Charlie grunt in approval. On my way to the door, I could see that my father hadn’t even made one move, his eyes fixed on the TV.

“Way to go, Dad. Chivalry is dead.” I mumbled under my breath, opening the door.

Completely taken by surprise I took a step back when I recognized the person standing on our porch.


	14. The secret is out Part 1

Jasper POV

 

Even though we’ve only met that one time all those many months ago, I could still clearly remember who the scent belonged to.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” I growled.

“I take it then you know who it was.” Peter surmised correctly.

“Yes.” I seethed, pushing past Peter. I went straight into the house to see if Laurent had been in the there too. Thankfully, the only scents I could pick up were those of us and Bella’s, of course. Charlotte sat on the couch. Her eyes opened wide in alert, as she took in my demeanor.

“You haven’t seen him?” I demanded to know.

“No, we just came back, ten minutes ago.” Char answered, sounding very anxious almost frightened. “And Peter contacted you right away.” She reassured me, her body starting to shake.

Peter suddenly appeared at her side. “Mind if you rein it in for the moment, Major. You are projecting your anger.” His voice was persistent at best. He was clearly concerned, not to mention mad – I could feel and see that – but I was too keyed up at the moment to keep my emotions in check.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized brusquely, before frantically starting to pace the room. I knew I needed to pull myself together and focus, but my mind was just reeling. What did Laurent’s sudden reappearance mean? My gut feeling told me whatever the reason was, it wasn’t a good one. The last time I saw him, was right here in this room, just shortly after James decided to go against the entire Cullen coven in order to get to Bella.

‘Sick fucker!’

Fortunately, thanks to me and Emmett he wasn’t a threat anymore. Ripping him apart had felt so good, pleasurably satisfying in fact. And James had certainly deserved it after what the son of a bitch had done to my precious Bella. Yes at that time she wasn’t mine, but still, in a way she already belonged to me, even back then.

Thinking about that day brought all the bad memories and feelings back to the front of my mind. As weird as it might sound, I hadn’t truly realized it before, how close I’d come to lose Bella. Back then I hadn’t even considered how much it would have hurt me if we had been too late to save her … which was probably why my sudden epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Bella.” I moaned, sinking to the ground. Losing or leaving her wasn’t an option for me any longer. That much was clear. Maybe it has never been a viable option for me … not really anyway. Even back then I’d felt something brewing underneath the surface, some kind of connection between us, but for obvious reasons I’d decided to ignore it instead of exploring it further. I realized now that it has probably always been more than just an obligation to the family to keep her safe. I did it because it had seemed important to me. And now Bella’s safety and happiness had become a necessity to assure my own survival.

‘Funny how things change …’

Charlotte was at my side in an instant, patting my back in comfort, but it was Peter who tried to soothe me with words. “You don’t have to worry about her. She is safe at her home.” His voice was calm and steady.

I could feel the confidence behind his words, but I still had to ask. “How do you know that?”

“I have to trust me on that, I just do. And we’ve checked the trail he left behind. He was going south not west. But why don’t you tell us who this guy is, maybe we can figure out together what he’s up to.” He said, formulating his proposition carefully. Peter knew perfectly well how to act and behave when I was like this, wounded up, stressed, and angry. The worst thing right now would be to challenge me, in any way. I could snap in a heartbeat. Peter knew that, immediately putting himself in his former position, as my second in command, awaiting my orders, ready to comply. His submissive behavior was convenient in a situation like this one. It helped me to calm down some, and thus made it possible for me to focus on the matter at hand.

“You are right.” I conceded. I trusted Peter’s judgment without reservation. When he said Bella was safe at the moment, I believed him, even though my entire being practically screamed to go and check on her at once. I moved myself in a more comfortable position, leaning my back against the couch. Charlotte stayed on the floor as well, a few feet away, while Peter took a seat on a chair. Then I began to share what I knew.

“Remember when I told you about that incident with the three nomads from last year? The scent out there belongs to one of them. His name is Laurent. Actually the last time I saw him, he said that he was going to Denali. He seemed to be very intrigued with our alternative lifestyle. He said he wanted to try it out. And as far as I know he actually went there to stay with them, indefinitely. Apparently he hit it off with Irina.” I snorted.

I knew for a fact that Irina and her sisters were usually more interested in human males, which was why I had been a little surprised when I’d heard about their blooming relationship. But at the time I hadn’t given it much thought because I’ve never been very fond of any of them, even though Carlisle thought of them as extended family. Eleazar and Carmen, the two other vampires of the Denali coven, the actual leaders in fact, were a completely different story though. We shared a similar background, which was probably why I had gotten along better with them than with some members of my own coven.

“But you don’t believe he is truly committed to stick by your lifestyle.” Peter stated, not asked.

“Well, I can’t be sure of that of course. Unfortunately, at the time I didn’t get a very good read on Laurent. All I can remember is that he was afraid to go up against all of us. He certainly was not as overconfident as James, or as stupid. Maybe he’d meant it. Maybe he just wanted to save his ass. I have no idea. But why would he come back now? Especially when the rest of the family is supposedly up there as we speak.”

Peter and Charlotte looked at me, completely taken aback by this little piece of information. “How do you know that?” Peter asked, frowning.

“Oh right,” I chuckled, taking far too much pleasure in the fact that for once Peter seemed to be lost. “I haven’t had the chance to tell you guys yet … Rose left me a letter.” I pulled object in question out of my back pocket, handing it to Charlotte. She looked at me, silently asking for my permission. I nodded. “Go on, read it.” I encouraged her. She complied at once, handing it over to Peter after she finished reading. He was just as quick as his wife.

A small smile appeared on Peter’s face. “I’ve always loved that girl.”

I was stunned. Was this all that he had to say? No devious comment on the part about Alice and Edward? “Well, you should definitely call your twin sister. Maybe she has some information that could be of help to us concerning this matter.” He suggested.

“Yeah, that probably would be a good idea.” I conceded. “I just want to talk about it with Bella first.”

“That’s good. And you mean all of it though, right?” Peter clarified, adding, “You shouldn’t keep any secrets from her at this point.”

“I’m not planning to.” I countered, a little miffed. I wasn’t Edward, after all. I knew she was strong enough to handle pretty much anything. Keeping her in the dark would only make things complicated between us, and I didn’t want that. “And what do mean by ‘at this point’?” I stared at him pointedly.

It was Charlotte who answered my question. “We know … about you and Bella.”

I frowned at her and she just smiled sweetly. “Maybe it’s time to let you in on some secret I’ve been hiding from you. You know that I can see auras. But that’s not all.” She stopped for a moment, taking in an unnecessary breath. I could sense her hesitation, but it was quickly replaced by determination, like she was making a final decision to let me in on her secret. I just looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue, barely noticing that Peter clearly supported her decision. “Well, there is actually more to my gift than you already know. On top of my ability to see auras of both humans and vampires, I’ve always been able to see certain connections between people.”

Her explanation did sound a bit vague, but I was intrigued. “Like what?”

“I can see if people are right for each other.” She said, still being evasive.

I was getting impatient. “In plain English!”

“You and Bella are soul mates.”

Char actually seemed to be relieved, revealing her secret and her discovery to me. I couldn’t say that I felt the same, more like being slapped in the face. For a moment there I thought I didn’t hear her correctly. But I knew that couldn’t be. As a vampire my hearing was perfect.

‘Soul mates …’

Of course I knew the meaning of the term. Spending decades around mated vampires, being able to sense their undying (no pun intended) devotion for each other, the true depths of their feelings, had taught me enough to understand the term in theory and practice. Or so I thought …

I couldn’t wrap my head around Charlotte’s assessment. I knew Charlotte wasn’t playing with me. She was definitely telling the truth that much I knew.

‘Bella and I are soul mates? Really? Well it explains the sudden intense feelings I have for her. Doesn’t it? And I can feel that I am hers … completely. But I guess knowing something and understanding it are two different things … But it also means that …’

True, the thought that Alice wasn’t my true mate wasn’t exactly a revelation to me. I’d expected as much, especially after the last twenty four hours. And yet, being confronted with the truth like that, still caught me off guard. If what Charlotte said was true, she had always known that Alice and I were never meant for each other … and so had Peter. Was this the reason why they’ve never liked her? Because Alice wasn’t the one for me? Deep down I knew that was not the only reason, but it was still a vital one. But why would they keep something as important as this from me?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I verbalized my last thought out loud, trying very hard to keep my emotions under control, looking at both of my friends.

Again, Charlotte was the one who answered. “I thought it might be too soon … that you wouldn’t believe me, since it was just yesterday that …”

She clearly misunderstood my question, so I interrupted her. “I’m not talking about Bella and me.” I knew I sounded harsh, but I didn’t care.

“Calm down, Jasper.” Peter said, matching my tone of voice. “I know you are mad at us. And in a way you have every right to be. But be honest, would you have listened to us, believed us if we’d told you back then? You and Alice had been so into each other. And it was the first time we’ve seen you at ease, happy … and we were relieved. You needed her, and apparently she needed you … sort of.

“You know we both don’t give a shit about our so-called special abilities. We do not nurture them and we certainly do not rely on them to guide us through our lives. For all we knew things could have changed over time. Okay, apparently they haven’t. But we could not have known that? You know as well as I do, none of our gifts are infallible. And just so you know Char wanted to tell you, because she could see that you weren’t as happy as you should have been … but it was my decision not to tell you. Not because I wanted to keep the truth from you. You know that I would never deceit you. But it wasn’t my place to tell you what to do. You needed to discover the truth on your own.”

I contemplated his arguments. Although I was still angry, I could see his point. But Peter wasn’t quite done yet. “Be it as it may, we cannot change the past. What’s done is done. We are both sorry that you had to find out what a true bitch your wife is the way you did, but maybe this was how it was supposed to happen all along … like fate.” He finished with a grin.

I could sense his sincerity, which was why I didn’t react. To be honest right then I was kind of lost for words. Charlotte and Peter remained silent as well, clearly sensing that I needed my time to come to terms with the new reality.

‘Bella and I are soul mates … Alice never was the one for me … they’ve always known …’

I knew it would take some time to digest all this, but deep down I couldn’t blame neither one of them for what they’d done or neglected to do. They felt truly sorry for how things had turned out. But I knew thinking about the ‘what ifs’ wouldn’t do any good, and it certainly wouldn’t change anything. Peter was right, what’s done is done, and we all had to deal with the consequences the best way we could.

The sudden sound of Peter’s cell phone ringing snapped us all out of our thoughts. He pulled it out his back pocket, looking at the caller ID, frowning. Without a word he flipped it open, and answered in a detached voice. “Whitlock.”

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

“Sam?”

I sounded just as surprised as I was. The last time he had been here at our house was that night, the one I would really like to erase from my memory. I’d been lying in the woods for hours, exposed to the elements, after trying to follow Edward, in vain. What a foolish idea … as if I could ever catch up with a vampire. And seeing Sam Uley again, after all those months, brought back those memories full force, as well as the associated feelings. I had to struggle very hard to keep them under control.

‘No panicking, no panicking … everything is all right …’ I chanted to myself. At that moment I was glad that Jasper had left. I definitely didn’t want him to experience this along with me. And as it turned out I didn’t need his helpful gift to keep myself in check either. Just thinking about my blonde vampire helped me to calm down considerably.

I knew that Sam was the one who found me that night, carrying me back to the house. I was still wondering how he’d managed to find me, when the others had been searching the woods for hours, without success. But I discarded that thought, because in the end I was just happy to be alive and well.

After that incident we had seen each other on occasion, on the days when I visited Jake down at La Push, but we’ve never had any real contact, which was why I was stunned that he came here. It wasn’t like we were friends. But even though, I offered Sam a small, but polite smile.

“Bella.” He said, nodding curtly. His voice was cold, almost detached, and my smile turned into a slight frown. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, like he was nervous about something. But before I could ask what he was doing here, my father appeared at the door. Apparently his curiosity had gotten the better of him after all.

“Sam Uley. This is a surprise.” Charlie exclaimed enthusiastically. I could detect a slight change in Sam’s attitude. He clearly respected my father. That much was obvious. But there was something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “Is something wrong?” My father was just as confused as I was about his surprise visit.

“No, Charlie, nothing is wrong.” Sam quickly assured my father. “I’m just here to talk to Bella, if that’s alright?” He formulated his request very politely, a little too respectfully in my opinion, but it seemed to appease my dad. Charlie shot me a quick quizzical look, and I just shrugged in answer. I didn’t know what Sam Uley could possibly want from me, as we barely knew each other, but I got the distinct impression that whatever it was, seemed to be rather important, urgent even. And he clearly wanted to talk to me in private. Needless to say, my interest was piqued.

“That’s fine with me. Take care, Sam.” Charlie said, already retreating back to the couch, returning to watch the game.

“You want to come in?” I offered.

“No.” He declined. Was it just my imagination, or did he actually wrinkled his nose in disgust? “Mind if we take a walk instead?”

I shrugged. “Fine with me.” I grabbed my jacket and hollered to my father that we would be right outside. The only answer I got was a low grumble. For a second I wondered if he would be so nonchalant about Jasper as well.

‘Probably not … considering he used to be part of Edward’s family … guilty by association and all that …’

Sam guided me to the tree line at the backside of the house. It was far away for the house, which meant we couldn’t be overheard by my father, but close enough that we were still in sight. I hadn’t really noticed it before but now I could see that there was no other vehicle parked in our driveway, except for my dad’s cruiser and my truck. How the hell did he get here?

‘On foot? From La Push? Doubtful. But I couldn’t remember hearing a car … too many questions. I need answers!’

I stopped abruptly, turning around and crossing my arms in front of my body. “So you wanted to talk, then talk!” I demanded relentlessly, glaring up at him. I already had enough of this ridiculous and weird situation. Sam stood a few feet away from me, and for the first time I noticed the resemblance he had with Emmett. He was just as tall and bulky, and to a stranger he would definitely appear a little threatening. Another thing he had in common with my former favorite brother. But I was neither impressed nor intimated by either one of them. I had always felt save with Emmett, and somehow I felt the same way about Sam. I couldn’t think of a reason why I should feel differently. He was just a human after all. The only thing I found a little strange was that although he was only three years my senior, he looked much older, and way more mature.

Sam grinned at me, apparently he was a little amused by my challenging behavior. “Bella, I need to ask you a question, and I would appreciate it if you were completely honest with me … Are they back?”

I was more than stunned by his question. I was lost. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” I answered, telling the truth.

“Don’t play stupid. I can smell … I can tell that they are back.” He replied icily, his features changing again. His entire body began to tremble slightly, and he was breathing heavy, like he was trying to control his emotions. To be honest his hostile behavior was beginning to worry me a little.

“I really don’t know who you mean.” I countered, standing my ground.

“The Cullens.” He snarled, holding my gaze. The way he said the name, sounded familiar, very familiar, reminding me of the phrase he’d used all those months ago.

‘The Cullens don’t come here.’

And just like that something clicked in my mind. All those tiny pieces of information I had managed to coax out of Jake on the beach that day, desperately trying to figure out the mystery about Edward and his family, finally came together, forming a whole picture.

‘He knows … he knows what they are … that means … that means he is one of the protectors Jake has talked about … a wolf … a werewolf …’

I took a cautious, but deliberate step back. With this new awareness I simply felt the necessity to put some distance between me and him. Good thing, he stayed where he was. I might have bolted if he’d made even one move. I definitely needed a moment.

‘What is it about this place? First vampires and now werewolves … I wouldn’t be surprised when the next person I meet turns out to be a witch. This is crazy …’

All this new information was making my head spin. I had barely enough time to come to terms with all I’d found out and experienced with Jasper, and now this. I simply couldn’t take any more. Sam just stood there, watching me very closely. I was not afraid of him, or his true nature, but I was a bit worried nonetheless.

“I take it from your reaction that you know what I am. That’s good. It will make things easier. And I can assure you that I am not going to hurt you, Bella.” Sam said, trying his best to sound steady and calm, probably in the hopes to reassure me. There was no need for it, though, but I appreciated the sentiment. I truly believed that I was in no danger. But then again I could see that his demeanor hasn’t changed much. He was still tense. “But they might.”

His last words just did it, pushing me over the edge. My anger spilled over. “You listen to me, Sam. I can tell that you don’t like them, and that’s your prerogative, I guess. But you don’t know them like I do. I trust them, and they haven’t done anything to deserve your hostility. They are good people.” I snapped at him. “You made the treaty and now you have to stick to it.”

He didn’t back down, though. Not that I’d expected him to, but still. “You think you know better than me, but may I remind you how you’ve been after they left.” He immediately fell silent, when he saw my reaction, realizing at once that was a really low blow. “I am sorry, Bella. I didn’t come here to hurt you, or make you feel bad. I am just concerned about you and Charlie, that’s all. And it is my duty to look out for you. If you want to stay friends with them, fine, I won’t stop you, because clearly there isn’t anything I can do about that. But for your sake, and Charlie’s, I hope you know what you are doing. I just came here to get confirmation. With the Cullens back we cannot protect you anymore … at least not around here.”

“I understand. And I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to help.” I said, and meaning it. He grimaced at my choice of words, but I ignored it. My patience was running thin as it was. I wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible. “But I can assure you we are totally safe. They won’t hurt anybody.” I said, only telling half the truth. Sure, I knew that Jasper didn’t feed on humans, but Peter and Charlotte did. But from what Sam has told me, I knew that he didn’t have all the details, otherwise he might have reacted more aggressive than he already had. And I certainly wasn’t going to fill in the gaps for him.

“Well, I guess that’s all I needed to say.” Sam said, scratching his head.

“I guess it is.” I agreed, turning around and walking back towards my house. “Say hi for me to Jake.” I said over my shoulder.

“I will.” Sam promised, adding with a chuckle. “Although I don’t think he will take your decision very well.”

“It’s not up to him.” I replied, completely ignoring his implication. I didn’t stick around any longer to see how Sam was getting home. My anxiety was overweighing my curiosity at the moment. I needed to tell Jasper and the others what I’d just learned.

I closed the door behind me, pulling off my jacket. Then I walked into the living room.

“Is everything okay, kiddo?” Charlie asked from his seat on the couch.

“Yes.” I quickly replied, sounding not overly convincing even to myself. “I am tired. I think I’m going to bed early. Night, Dad.”

Charlie frowned, clearly having his doubts, but he didn’t push the subject. Fortunately, he was never one for prying … a quality I loved about my dad, and not just now, but in general. “Okay, see you tomorrow after work. Night, Bella.” He just said, returning his attention back to the TV.

Even though I knew nobody was waiting for me, I wanted to race upstairs, but I held back, because I certainly didn’t want to make my father even more suspicious than he already was. 

I softly closed the door behind me and switched on the light. With a sigh I slumped against the door, sliding down to the floor, resting my head against the wood. My heart was beating against my chest like crazy. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I closed my eyes, taking in deep breaths in order to calm myself. It wasn’t working as well as I hoped, but that was to be expected, wasn’t it?

But then again, given the circumstances, I thought that the conversation between Sam and I had gone pretty well. I knew that vampires and werewolves were enemies by nature, not just from what Jake had told me. It was practically common knowledge. And it was quite obvious that Sam was not every keen about the treaty, but obligated to uphold it. It wasn’t a perfect arrangement, but it assured a certain tolerance between the two parties. And I was stuck in the middle, unwilling to choose between both sides. To me they all were just people.

I was confused, overwhelmed and slightly on edge. Back in the yard I had been able to hold it together, to show strength instead of weakness. But now I really needed Jasper. His gift was quite handy, true, but apparently not always working on me. But thankfully, it wasn’t necessary. His mere presence seemed to have a calming influence on me, and that was all I needed … him here with me.

But unfortunately we hadn’t gotten the chance to exchange our numbers. Well, that’s not exactly true. There had been numerous opportunities; we just hadn’t gotten around to doing that. Instead we had been spending most of the time making out. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t regret anything. Quite the opposite actually, I couldn’t wait to pick up where we left off. But still, right now I wished I’d asked him for his number, or Peter’s, any way to get in touch with him.

Realizing there was nothing more I could do but wait for his return, I decided to take a shower. I pushed myself up, and my eyes immediately fell on my bed. Not two hours ago I had been making out with Jasper on it. The bed was made again, and on its centre laid a neatly folded piece of paper. I went over, and picked it up.

 

MY SWEET DARLIN’,

I KNOW I PROMISED TO STAY, BUT SOMETHING CAME UP. PLEASE DON’T WORRY, I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING ON MY RETURN.

YOURS FOREVER, JW

JUST IN CASE, THIS IS PETER’S CELL PHONE NUMBER: 555-57894361!

 

I was so relieved and touched that Jasper had thought about leaving me a contact number. I went straight for my still unpacked bag, pulling out my cell. I punched in the number, having to erase it twice, because my fingers kept trembling from nerves. On the third try I finally managed to type in the right number and I hit dial.

After the second ring, Peter answered. “Whitlock.”


	15. The secret is out Part 2

Jasper POV

 

Whoever the caller was, it must have been someone unknown, otherwise Peter wouldn’t have answered with his, um, our surname.

“Peter … it’s me, Bella.” I could have sworn my dead heart jumped in my chest, just hearing the voice of my angel. But I could tell right away that something was off. She sounded anxious, and a little upset. Before Peter could answer, I snatched the phone out of his hand, completely ignoring his grumble.

“Bella, darlin’, what’s wrong?” I asked, trying my best not to sound too demanding, but unfortunately not succeeding. I was really worried.

‘Did Laurent … no she wouldn’t be able to call me, if he had …’

“They know. I don’t know how, but they know …” She managed to get out, between taking jagged breaths. She wasn’t crying, but from what I could tell pretty close to having a full blown panic attack. What the hell has happened over there?

“Bella, sweetheart, please you have to calm down. Take a deep breath. Tell me what happened.” I requested with more sensitivity then before. Although my curiosity was starting to get the better of me with each passing second, I knew that it wouldn’t do me any good to forcibly push for any information.

Bella took in a few deep breaths before she answered my question. Her voice was barely above a whisper. She probably didn’t want our conversation to be overheard by her father. Thanks to my vampire hearing it didn’t make a difference either way.

“Sam Uley came by to speak to me.” She said, sounding considerably calmer than before. The name didn’t ring a bell. “He is Quileute.” She added, almost like she knew I needed further details.

I was stunned speechless by this piece of information. Of course, I knew the Quileute, or rather I knew of them, since I’ve never had the pleasure to meet them officially. The treaty between them and the Cullens had been established before I had joined the coven, along with Alice. When we returned to Forks a little over two years ago we’d been under the impression that the wolves were extinct, or at least that was what Carlisle always believed. With no vampires around this place for decades there was no need for human protectors. Carlisle and Edward had met with the tribal elders on neutral territory shortly after our arrival, and they’d established the fact that they were all human. But we still abided by the guideline according to the treaty, which included keeping our distance from Quileute land, and they were forbidden to reveal our secret to the humans. Apparently things have changed.

“He is a werewolf.” Bella added carefully, almost reluctantly. Sharing this small but significant piece of information was totally redundant at this point, because I’d already figured as much.

‘Werewolves … just what we’ve needed … more trouble …’

Mine wasn’t the only growl filling the room. Peter and Charlotte had had their own little encounter with these creatures a couple of years ago, down in South America. Because these creatures were our only natural enemies, we tried to avoid contact with them at all costs. One on one, we certainly had the upper hand. But unlike my kind, they usually ran in packs, which put the odds into their favor. It was weird, but in all my years as a vampire I’ve never come across those creatures myself. Texas had always been ruled by our kind, and from what I knew it still was. Maybe not as forcefully as in the past, but still, it didn’t change the fact that Texas was vampire territory.

‘Leave it to Bella to attract another dangerous supernatural creature …’

Too many questions popped up. Did he change in front of her? Or did he just tell her the truth? A part of me I doubted that was the case. Even with ever meeting them I knew that the Quileute kept their true nature a secret just like our kind. How did they know each other in the first place? Was she in even more danger now?

“Jasper?” Bella’s low, gentle voice broke through my reverie.

“He didn’t he hurt you, did he?” I had to ask, even though I knew that she would have told me that already, if that has been indeed the case. Or I rather hoped that she would have done so, seeing as Bella tended to keep such vital information to herself, in order to spare others from misery or pain.

“No, of course he did not.” She answered, sounding slightly miffed, but I couldn’t care less in the moment. “We just talked.”

“Okay,” I conceded despite my qualms. I didn’t want to fight with her, not over the phone anyway. Not when I wasn’t able to try and control the situation with my gift. “I’ll come over right away and then you can tell me everything in person.”

“That might be better.” She whispered even lower than before.

“Your father?” I assumed.

“Yeah.” She sniggered. I was relieved to hear that cheerful sound. It meant she was over the first shock, beginning to deal with the new reality of what she’d just learned about this Sam guy. “I’ll leave the window open for you.” She added quickly, and then without another word she hung up.

I exhaled loudly. This woman was beginning to drive me insane … in more ways than one. What was it about her that made her so appealing to creatures like us or them? It was almost like she had a bull’s eye on her chest, unintentionally making herself an easy target.

‘First Edward, then James, and me … and now a werewolf … probably more than one … not to mention the other complications like the van incident …’

“She is quite the danger magnet, isn’t she?” Peter echoed my thoughts.

I chuckled darkly. “She certainly is. But what’s worse is that she doesn’t seem to be disturbed by that fact whatsoever. I think she doesn’t realize the danger we and any other mystical creature represent.” I shook my head in exasperation.

“Well, she’s been lucky so far. Meeting nice guys like us.” Peter joked, but I could sense that he shared my concern to some extent. Unfortunately, I doubted that I would be able to make her see reason, trying to convince her that werewolves were much more unpredictable than vampires, especially young werewolves. Her sense of self-preservation was near to non-existent when it came to all things supernatural. The blind trust she exhibited was mind-boggling … and dangerous. It could get her killed. I knew that, from personal experience, and I wouldn’t let her make the same mistake.

Much to my chagrin I had to agree with Edward. Keeping Bella safe was a full time job. But unlike him I was going to handle the situation with much more finesse. I knew if I pushed her too far or I limited her choices, I would drive a wedge between us. And I had no intention to upset her, to make her angry. But nevertheless, I needed her to understand that despite her mental strength, she certainly was no match for any of us physically. She wanted to be treated like an equal, but in this regard she truly wasn’t. Not yet anyway.

Charlotte walked slowly over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Try to take it easy on her, Jasper. I guess she won’t respond very well to you telling her what to do. Am I right?” I nodded, grinning. I was quite surprised how well Charlotte seemed to know Bella only after one day. “Talk to her. Let her explain her point of view, before you share yours. She might be a little stubborn but she is not stupid.”

Charlotte was right. Bella was anything but stupid, but calling her stubborn was a complete understatement. She was persistent, damn near obstinate when it came to her believes, that much became clear to me the first time we properly met, the day she came here to meet the entire Cullen family. Needless to say I respected and admired her strong will and endless amount of trust she seemed to possess, but I knew that in this case she had no idea what she was up against.

“I will keep that in mind.” I replied with a snort. I wasn’t lying, but I knew it wouldn’t be an easy task to find a common ground on this particular matter. After all, I too could be pretty pigheaded sometimes. But I would try my best to keep an open mind.

From what I’ve figured out so far the wolves were only aware of my presence, which was certainly a good thing all things considered. If this Sam character had any knowledge of Peter and Charlotte, he might have done more than just seeking confirmation by talking to Bella. Suddenly I remembered the weird stench I picked up around her house. They must have kept an eye on her for quite some time, which made me wonder if today wasn’t the first time Laurent had come here.

‘Maybe he had been sneaking around the area for days … good thing we came here when we did …’

At this point my military training fully kicked in. I knew it was high time to act. I picked up Rose’s letter and stashed it back into my pocket. With vampire speed I rushed upstairs to my study to retrieve the cell phone and charger she’d left for me in my desk. Now there was one more reason why I needed to call my sister, sooner rather than later. She certainly knew more about the Quileutes than me.

Moments later I was back in the living room. Peter and Charlotte were sitting on the couch, looking expectantly at me, clearly awaiting my orders.

“I’m going to head over to Bella’s now and stay there over night.” I announced. “With everything what’s going on, I’m not taking any chances. And she and I have a lot to talk about, after all. I will let her know about our little uninvited guest and hopefully she has some more information about the wolves. Which reminds me … do me and yourselves a favor. Stay here in the house, at least until I know more. The treaty might still hold true for me, but it certainly doesn’t involve you guys.” I advised, although it was actually more an order than a recommendation.

“Aye, aye, Captain.” Peter fake saluted at me.

“That’s still Major to you.” I growled, earning me a chuckle from both of my friends. I was more than ready to leave at this point, but I had one more thing to say.

“Just so you know this little tidbit you kept from me … about Bella and I being soul mates … that isn’t over and done yet, as far as I’m concerned.” I reminded them sternly. Charlotte actually felt a little guilty, but Peter was unimpressed by my threat … as usual.

“Of course, whatever you say, Major.” He replied, smirking. “We’ll be here tomorrow. Now go. Take care of your woman.” His happy-go-lucky behavior was really annoying, but I knew that now was not the time to put him in his place. I just rolled my eyes at him, and turned around. A second later I was out of the door, on my way back to one place I truly belonged. Back to Bella.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

I didn’t want to hang up like this – abruptly, almost mid-sentence – but I had no other choice. Thanks to the squeaky stairs, I got an early warning that Charlie was on his way upstairs.

True, I could have continued with the whispered conversation. It didn’t make any difference to Jasper, sensitive vampire hearing and all that, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea right now to be on the phone. My father usually didn’t check up on me. We always said goodnight once, and that was it. But considering how we left things earlier, I was sure he would make an exception tonight.

And I was right. A moment later there was a gentle knock on the door. “Come in, Dad.” I invited him at once, leaning casually against the headboard of my bed, with a book in my lap, nothing out of the ordinary that would make him suspicious.

Charlie pushed the door ajar, only poking his head in. “I just wanted to say goodnight again.” He said, sounding not overly convincing, but I didn’t let him know that I could see right through his ruse. I just smiled at him benignly.

“Goodnight, Dad.” I said, faking a yawn. I was anything but tired, but I knew that my father had to believe that I was. It was still pretty early, around nine thirty. But since Charlie had to work a double shift the next day, at least he had a reason to go to bed this early. A fact, I realized just then, could actually work into my favor. I knew Jasper would be back soon. Hopefully my dad would be fast asleep by then.

‘Well, if not … Jasper would be able to help him out there … sometimes his peculiar gift does come in handy …’ I smiled at that thought.

Charlie nodded his head curtly. “I’ll see you tomorrow then … around dinner time.” He said, closing the door again. I listened to his retreating footsteps, as he made his way to the bathroom. I let out a breath of relieve. My father was not stupid. He probably knew something was up, but he’d never force any information out of me, which was only one reason why I loved him so much. Even though my mental state had improved considerably over the last two months, his concern of me falling back into that black hole of depression was still there. I could see that in his eyes.

‘It’s probably his prerogative … being a parent and all …’

I felt terrible keeping things from him, but I couldn’t tell him that one of the Cullens was back in town. How was I supposed to explain that I had no problem with that fact whatsoever? I knew my father wouldn’t understand my reaction, not after witnessing my complete mental breakdown after the Cullen’s sudden departure. And I could hardly tell him the truth about the reason behind their departure and Jasper’s involvement in it. He wouldn’t believe me anyway. I would probably only end up in a padded cell … for finally losing it.

And besides, those secrets weren’t mine to tell. But more importantly it was too dangerous. No human was supposed to know about their existence.

But even if I left out this little tidbit, there was still that other thing. I truly had no idea how I could even begin to explain to my father that I’d fallen for Jasper. Not only was he Edward’s alleged brother and with it happing so fast, only after a day, I could imagine what people might think when the word got out.

‘She can’t have one … so she moves on to the brother … typical rebound behavior …’

I still had trouble wrapping my head around it, which was part of the reason why I wasn’t quite ready to share this news with anyone. Oddly, I had no problem that Peter and Charlotte had noticed that something was going on between us. But maybe that’s because they didn’t seem to mind. Quite the contrary actually, they seemed to be relieved, happy … for the both of us.

This whole situation was truly weird. I knew that this was happening fast, probably too fast. But it felt so right, which made it that much more confusing. What I felt when I was with Jasper was so strong, almost overwhelmingly strong to tell the truth. It had been a long time since I’ve felt so alive … and happy. Come to think of it, I’ve never known this kind of happiness in my entire life. Not even when I was with Edward. I was simply amazed that Jasper did reciprocate my feelings, not only because he told me so, but because I could see it in his eyes and feel it as well.

‘Lying as an empath must be difficult.’ I mused. Sure, I knew perfectly well that he could manipulate the emotional climate around him, but something told me that I could trust him to never do that to me, not unless it was truly necessary or I’d give him permission to influence me this way. I knew he would never lie to me. ‘So, maybe this was supposed to be, like fate … who knows … which would bring up a whole lot of new questions …’ 

Then I heard the water in the bathroom shut off, and my father retreating to his own bedroom.

‘Good.’

I didn’t know how much time I had left before Jasper would make his reappearance, but I really needed a shower. Not because I felt dirty or something, but because I knew it would help me calm down somewhat, maybe even help me to sort out my feelings and thoughts, at least to some extent. Remembering my promise, I opened my window, and then I retrieved my toiletry bag from back bag and quietly made my way into the bathroom. I quickly got rid of my clothes, and stepped into the shower.

The hot water did what I’d hoped it would, unknotting the tense muscles in my back. I immediately felt more relaxed. Maybe sleeping on Jasper’s couch last night wasn’t such a good idea after all, though I certainly didn’t regret sleeping in Jasper’s arms. I rather hoped for a repeat performance.

‘More than one, actually … if I had my way …’ I smiled impishly.

No wonder I suddenly felt so much more at ease. Jasper was back. I didn’t hear a noise, of course, with him moving like a ghost, stealthy in order to keep his presence a secret from my father, but I could tell that he was close by, maybe even already in the house. Knowing that the blond, drop-dead-gorgeous vampire was waiting for me in the other room made me feel nervous all over again … but in a good way. I smiled in anticipation, but continued to wash my body and hair thoroughly, since I was in no real hurry. Knowing he was nearby was enough … for the moment.

But as much as I wanted to just throw myself back into his arms, I knew that now was not the time. Jasper didn’t exactly come here to finish what we started … or at least it probably wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. I barely got to tell him anything about my encounter with Sam Uley, but maybe I didn’t need to. His reaction to the word ‘werewolf’ had been hard to miss, and unmistakable.

I could understand that there was no love lost between them, seeing as they were natural enemies. I knew that they would never become friends, but I didn’t expect them to. The only thing I expected – from both sides – was that they would leave me out of it.

It was obvious that Sam wanted me choose, but I really hoped that Jasper wouldn’t try and do the same. Edward surely would have done that, telling me to keep my distance from Jake and his friends, all in the name of protecting me. But I didn’t need a protector. Yes, I could imagine that werewolves were not cuddly little puppies, but vampires were just as dangerous. And I had no problem hanging out with them.

Edward and his double standard – he has never been my equal, always my superior. And in the physical sense he was, but that shouldn’t matter in a relationship. After he left, I promised myself that I won’t go there ever again. This time I would stand up for myself.

Everything had been so different with Edward. I could always sense there was something more to unwillingness to take things further in our relationship … and not just in the sexual department. The way he detested the idea of me becoming like him should have been the first warning sign. But I trusted him, because I loved him. But then he said all those horrific things in the woods and suddenly everything made sense. I could slap myself now that I’ve ever believed anything that came out of his mouth. His promise that he’d never hurt me, that he loved me … it was all a lie. Thank goodness the realization of that fact didn’t upset me that much anymore, not like it used to. I was truly making progress.

The interesting point was that even after only one day I could tell that Jasper was nothing like Edward. And I knew that it wasn’t solely because of his gift, which made him very sensitive to other people’s feelings, but I guess, it still was a significant factor.

‘Is it weird that I am comparing my former boyfriend with my current one? If that’s what Jasper is … well I guess it’s only natural …’ I shrugged, rinsing out my hair.

Our sudden strong connection aside, there was something else I kept wondering about. Why was I able to sense Jasper’s presence? I’ve never been able to do something like that with Edward or any of the others. As far as I knew this ability was a vampiric trade, not a human one. But nevertheless, I couldn’t deny that I liked this new sensation, because it made me feel safe and giddy with joy.

But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. My every response towards Jasper was different from what I’ve experienced with Edward. There were actually many things that set them apart. Apart from the obvious difference in hair color and style, Jasper was definitely a few inches taller than Edward, and from what I could tell without having seen either one of them naked (much to my disappointment), Jasper’s body was more defined, more muscular. I liked that … a lot.

I could still remember the taste of him. How could I forget? His taste was as unique as his scent. It reminded me of cinnamon and something earthy, totally intoxicating and definitely more manly, not as sickly sweet as Edward’s scent. I couldn’t hold back a giggle at that realization. How did I ever find Edward’s scent appealing? It was like comparing a green fruit to a ripe one.

‘Hard choice to make …’

Jasper’s eyes were also more captivating than Edward’s ever had been. To be honest, his entire essence called to me. It was already pretty hard to keep my hands of him as it was. The way Jasper made me feel, while we were kissing or snuggling, was simply amazing. I liked the physical part of this new relationship a lot, of course, but since I was pretty much inexperienced with the whole sex stuff, the rate we were progressing in this matter was making me feel a little anxious. What if I couldn’t live up to his expectations? Knowing that he’d lived at least for a hundred years implied that he had a lot of experience in that matter. Logically, I should probably be grateful for that fact, but then again logic usually went right of the window when feelings were involved.

I knew I should talk to Jasper about my qualms. He probably would be open to have that kind of conversation, well, definitely more cooperative than Edward has ever been. Not that I was interested in any details about his previous experiences, god forbid, but I needed him to understand my uncertainty on the matter. But thankfully from what I could tell Jasper was very interested to take things further. Not for the first time, I flashbacked to this afternoon … our mouths almost clued together, tongues battling for dominance, tasting and discovering, our hands traveling over our still covered bodies …

‘Arghhh … Keep it together … Jasper is in the other room …’ I reminded myself, clamping down my emotions, hopefully just in time before he was able to catch on my mood change. Thinking about Jasper certainly had an effect on me, but right now I didn’t want him to know that … especially with my mind still busy with other things …

Of course it wasn’t just the dissimilarities in looks that set them apart from each other. Sure to a human eye they both were remarkably handsome, otherworldly beautiful even, just like all the rest of their kind. But I wasn’t petty like Jessica or Lauren who were attracted only by good looks. To be honest, I didn’t give a damn about their physical appearances, even though it was the first thing that had caught my eye. I rather wished they wouldn’t look like they did. But instead of the familiar feeling of inadequacy, I simply felt happy and loved in Jasper’s presence … like I truly belonged by his side. He was making my feel cherished, and worthy. And this fact was more important to me than anything else, especially considering that I’ve never felt this way with Edward.

It was really weird. I spent two days with Jasper, and I learned more about him than I did the whole year I was with Edward. 

I didn’t know how many years older Jasper was, physically and literally, but I could already tell that Jasper had experienced much more in his life than Edward. I could see that in his eyes. Whatever the secret was about his past, I assumed that it had something to do with his alleged struggle to abstain human blood. I wondered if someone else has ever noticed how much pain and sorrow was hidden beneath those beautiful golden eyes of his. I had seen similar signs in Peter’s and Charlotte’s red eyes, which kinda made sense, considering they obviously shared the same past experiences. I really wanted to hear about his past, not only because I was curious, and didn’t like secrets in general, but because I knew that it would be an important step forward for us. I might not have a lot of experience in this whole relationship business, but I strongly believed that any relationship, whether it was just a simply friendship or a romantic relationship, could only work if both parties were honest and open with each other.

‘No secrets in the house of love …’

But I knew he was reluctant to tell me about his past, probably scared about my reaction. And anything able to scare a vampire couldn’t be good news for a human. But whatever it was, how horrible or tragic, I would do my best to show my support and sympathy. And anyway, I fell in love with the person he had become, the person he was now, which of course didn’t mean that I would dismiss anything he would tell me about his past, because I could tell that he still struggled with the aftermath of it … at least to some extent. I could tell he was certainly not proud of his past, so I assumed it was definitely something more, something worse than Edward’s little era of teenage rebellion. I had been able to show sympathy towards him, so I knew I could do the same for Jasper. I just hoped he knew that.

At last the hot water ran out. It was time to leave the bathroom. But as soon as I stepped out of the shower, reaching for my towel, I was faced with a problem. I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me. Since I didn’t want to put on my old clothes, I was left with only one alternative. With a second thought I wrapped the towel around my body. Thankfully it was large enough to cover most of my body. I quickly brushed my teeth, before finally leaving the bathroom, tiptoeing back into my room.

Jasper was sitting on my bed, casually leaning against the headboard just like I had done ten minutes ago. The only difference was that he had my pillow in his lap instead of a book. On the first quick glance he looked like the picture of ease. But once our eyes met, I had to take that back. He looked more like the bad boy image a mother would warn her daughter about – sexy, dangerous, and ready to pounce.

‘Oh boy, I’m in trouble …’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

Of course it didn’t take me long to get back to Bella’s house. Luckily, I managed to come across a deer on my way. I wasn’t truly thirsty, but I knew that feeding would help me calm down somewhat. I quickly took it down, and since my table manners were somewhat better than Emmett’s, I was able to drain the large animal without leaving a spot on my shirt. When I was finished, I quickly disposed off the empty carcass and continued on my path.

The closer I got to Bella’s house the more intensified the stench of the werewolves got.

‘Nasty, reeking creatures … if the humans were able to smell that shit, they would keep their distance as well …’ I chuckled at the sheer improbability of this thought. Sometimes I envied the humans for their lesser developed senses and their lack of knowledge about the true evil in this world. ‘Ignorance is bliss … sometimes …’

I stopped at the edge of the woods behind Bella’s house, surveying the area, just in case. But then again with them knowing I was in the neighborhood, the wolves would probably stay away from Bella and her house from now on. And since I had no reason to leave her alone – trouble or no trouble – they won’t have any reason to be back any time soon.

To my knowledge the wolves couldn’t have been back longer than two years, which meant they were still young, and therefore unpredictable and feral, a trade of character they were known for in general. They acted on pure instinct, which was why they were definitely no good company for a human, especially one that associated herself with vampires. If it were up to me, Bella would do best to keep her distance from La Push all together.

‘Making this suggestion will be interesting …’ I grinned, but at the same time I was worried about her reaction. I knew I had to be sneaky about this, or I would drive her away. Unfortunately, she was much more persistent now, than she has ever been with Edward. ‘But she has no idea who she’s dealing with. Edward is relatively harmless for a vampire … but me … not so much … or at least I’d used to be …’

There was light in Bella’s room, but I could also hear the water running in the bathroom. Without being equipped with X-ray vision I knew that it was Bella in there. Her father was almost asleep in his room. I reached out to him with my gift, sending him strong waves of lethargy, thus helping him along. I knew it wasn’t polite, but kinda necessary for my return into the house. True, he wouldn’t be able sense me or hear my entrance, but it would be prudent nevertheless with him deep asleep.

I quickly climbed up the tree near Bella’s window. I smiled, when I realized that she has kept her promise. The window wasn’t shut tied as usual, but left ajar … for me. I pushed it open with one foot and swung myself into her room. The room was still the same as before. I shut the window without making any noise, keeping the cold outside, the warmth and her delicious scent inside. I took in a deep breath.

‘God, I love her scent. I can’t believe I’ve ever been able to live without this …’ I groaned, not loud enough for her to hear. Although at this point it wasn’t necessary to announce my presence by sound. I could tell from her emotional state that she was already aware that I was here. I plopped myself on her bed, leaning my back against the headboard, hoping that she was soon finished with her nightly routine.

While I was waiting for her return, I kept myself entertained by monitoring Bella’s emotions, which was almost like channel surfing on TV. One emotion was quickly replaced by another. There was sadness, humor, happiness, doubt, faith, trust, thoughtfulness, hope, clarity, determination, hate, love, lust … all in all a rich buffet of variety for an empath. I’ve never come across someone who was able to go through so many different emotions in such a short time. But what really made this feast enjoyable for someone like me, was the intensity and purity of her emotions. There was nothing false about her emotions.

But one of her emotions caught my attention in particular. I was already wound up tight, horny as hell to be honest. How could I not be, with her scent assaulting my senses? And the mental picture of her naked in the shower just a few feet away wasn’t helping. For one fleeting moment I thought about joining her, but I knew that this wasn’t the right time. But even if it was, Bella wasn’t ready to take that step … not yet anyway. Even though the shower was definitely a great place to have sex, especially for a vampire, it wouldn’t be my first choice to take her virginity.

‘First time on a bed … than I’ll show her how much fun we can have elsewhere … the shower is definitely on the top of my list …’

I gripped Bella’s pillow, burrowing my head in it, intending to stifle the moan I was unable to hold back. Not a great idea as it turned out, because the pillow was drenched with her scent too, in a more concentrated form to boot. I couldn’t help myself, inhaling deeply, with immediate effect. My jeans became even tighter.

‘Shit …’ I groaned.

Getting rid of a hard on wasn’t an easy task for a vampire. Even jerking off wouldn’t truly erase the urge, only make it worse. Not that it was actually a viable option at the moment. So I had no other choice but to will it away. I snorted at that thought. With Bella in the next room, it wasn’t going to be easy. I snatched one of Bella’s pillows and placed it over my crotch, just in case she would make her appearance prematurely.

‘Come on, you have to try harder. Think of something else, anything that gets your mind of sex … sex with Bella … eating human food … Emmett naked … endless shopping spree with Alice …’ That finally did it. I felt my erection die away, slowly but surely. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly I realized something else was missing. Just moments ago I was pretty much drowning in a sea of emotions, but now there was nothing … just a void. I could still sense Bella’s presence in the next room. I could still hear her heartbeat, which was slightly accelerated, but I couldn’t get a read on her emotional state any longer. I assumed that she’d deliberately decided to shut emotions off again. God, I hated when she was doing that. The last emotion I’d been able to pick up had been embarrassment.

‘Okay … it kinda makes sense … all things considered …’ I reasoned, but I still didn’t like it. It felt like she was keeping secrets from me. ‘Look who’s talking. You are not exactly forthcoming either …’

I leaned against the headboard with the pillow still in my lap, thinking about how I could tell Bella about my past, the horror I lived through and inflicted on countless numbers of humans and vampires alike. Sure, I knew that Bella was probably the most forgiving person I’ve ever come across. But could she still love me after hearing about my past life? I wouldn’t begrudge her if she couldn’t, but it would definitely be a bitter pill to swallow.

A few minutes later Bella turned off the water. I still couldn’t pick up anything that would tell what kinda mood she was in, I could only hear her sigh, which could mean anything from annoyance to contentment. I hoped it was the latter.

Finally the door opened and Bella stepped inside the room. I took in a sharp breath. She was only wearing a towel … if you could call a towel a piece of cloth. What the fuck was she thinking walking in here practically undressed? The sight of my angel, all sweet and innocent, yet nearly naked, wasn’t helping at all. In fact, it was testing my resolve, on a whole new level. Imagining things was one thing, but having her here, just a few feet away, and without clothes … that was another thing altogether.

Once more I had to tell myself that I didn’t come here to make out with her. Well, that wasn’t my main incentive. Bella smiled at me, a little timidly though, but still affectionately. And even though I couldn’t see my own face, I was pretty sure my answering smile looked more like a grimace than a smile. I had a hard time to stay where I was, especially when the scent of her arousal hit me full force.

‘First business, then pleasure!’ I told myself sternly, though my dick had clearly a mind of its own.

“Hi.” She said, very softly, closing the door behind her, but lingering at the door.

“Hi.” I replied lamely. We looked at each other for a few silent moments, both unsure what to do or say next. The sexual tension was palpable, even though she was still hiding her feelings from me, and it was very distracting.

“Um … I think I need to change.” She said eventually, shifting her weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. I could see that she was starting to freeze.

I felt a little naughty … well a lot actually.

“Go ahead.” I replied with a smirk, waving my hand, signaling her to proceed.


	16. Ready to talk, or not?

Jasper POV

 

Bella didn’t make a move, just standing there with her mouth hanging slightly open. Even with this look on her face, she still was breathtakingly beautiful. If anything it made her look even more adorable. But maybe I only thought so because my mind was, for the most part, on one thing at the moment.

Sex.

No surprising response on my part though, considering I was faced with a half naked Bella. I barely managed to swallow down another groan that threatened to escape my throat.

And it was only reasonable that Bella was taken aback by my blunt suggestion to dress in front of me, with me watching her very closely. This whole thing between us was still new, and I knew that it was way too soon for her to take that particular part of our blooming relationship to the next level.

True, patience was definitely not one of my strongest points, especially when it came to all things sex, but I knew I had to be patient with her. I would give her all the time she needed, letting her make all the decisions on that particular matter. Even though she was making it very hard for me (no pun intended) every time I was in her presence, to keep that promise … especially right here and now.

‘She really should get dressed, before I do something I might regret later …’

Although my eyes never left Bella’s face, I was able to see every detail of her exposed body due to my vampire vision. The towel hid everything from my view, from the top of her breasts to a few inches above her knees, but there was still enough to catch my attention.

I could see every freckle, every blemish. I could even count every hair on her body. Her skin was very pale, almost as colorless as mine. It wasn’t unusual for humans around here not having a tan, due to the lack of sunny days in this area. But then again Bella did grow up in Arizona, and she was already this pale the time she moved here. I knew she preferred the sun, but apparently she wasn’t much into taking prolonged, extensive sunbaths, which was fine, because her skin looked smooth and creamy, delicious even. I couldn’t wait to taste every inch of it, curious to find out if she tasted as good as she smelled.

‘All in due time …’

There was a scare right underneath her right kneecap, shaped like a question mark. I was pretty sure it wasn’t the only scare on her body, but certainly the biggest and most interesting one I could see right now. I wasn’t surprised to discover such marks on her body. After all, she was known to be a klutz. But then again, she hadn’t tripped even once in the last two days, which made me think that she wasn’t as prone to accidents as Edward had made us all believe.

Nevertheless, I didn’t mind the marks on her body. Quite the opposite actually, it gave me hope. True, her scars were nothing compared to mine, in number or texture. But still, disgust was the last thing on my mind when I thought of her body. She was simply amazing, in every sense of the word. If anything, the little flaws on her body made her even more perfect in my eyes. I wondered if she would be able to share my point of view on this matter. And even if she didn’t think of me as repulsive, would she be able to deal with the reasons behind my scars’ origin?

But I didn’t want to ponder over that right now, not when I had better things to do.

I wasn’t truly surprised that Bella didn’t respond to my request. She didn’t make a move either, just blushing furiously under my intense scrutiny. My grin grew wider, when I saw her clutching the towel even more tightly then before. She was probably afraid that it might slip accidentally, and thus showing me the goods underneath.

‘Well, there is hoping …’

Bella remained glued to the spot by the door, almost like she was waiting for me to make a move. I could hear her heartbeat quickening, as well as her breathing. She was definitely nervous. But even though I still couldn’t tap into her emotions I was certain that she was more excited than actually anxious.

I truly loved having that effect on her. Making her squirm was definitely something I was planning to explore further, but not right now. As much as I enjoyed her reaction, it didn’t exactly help my own emotional state. On the contrary, it became harder and harder with each passing moment to remain on the bed, especially with her smelling even better after taking a shower. I was one step away from pouncing on her and taking what was rightfully mine.

‘Wow, hold your horses, Major. This is not the time to demonstrate your possessive side …’ I cautioned myself.

Bella held my gaze unwaveringly, barely blinking at all. I enjoyed this staring contest very much, but I knew we had a lot to talk about before the night was over. After all she was the one who was in need of sleep at night, not me. Time was running out fast.

I finally got up from the bed, moving very slowly, almost stealthily towards Bella. I certainly didn’t want to startle by moving too fast. But despite my best efforts I closed the distance between us much quicker than I had intended. It felt like she was pulling me towards her, like one magnet the other. Or I just wasn’t strong enough to withstand the allure. But the reason really didn’t matter at the moment, because I could suddenly sense a change in the atmosphere around us.

But that wasn’t all. Bella took a step away from me, slightly bumping into the door. I couldn’t help it. I had to smile at her futile attempt to get away from me, but that didn’t last long. When I took in the alarmed look on her face, I quickly realized what I must have looked like to her.

‘A predator hunting his prey … shit …’

“Bella.” I called her name, tentatively reaching out with my hand. To my utter dismay she flinched away. I could smell her fear now. It was nauseating. I dropped my hand at once and took a few steps away from her, thus showing her that I didn’t mean her any harm. How did this happen? She knew I wouldn’t hurt her. But something must have set her off. I just had no idea what.

“I am sorry, darlin’. It wasn’t my intention to scare you. I will never hurt you. You know that, right?” I spoke very softly, hoping to calm her down some more. Putting some space between us had been indeed a wise decision. Bella visibly relaxed, and thankfully my words seemed appease to her further. But she still had a confused look on her face. 

“But your eyes are black.” She stated, her voice shaking slightly. Even though I still wasn’t able to get a complete read on Bella’s emotions, I could tell that were all over the place. One look at her face and into her eyes told me everything I needed to know. Well, almost everything.

I frowned at her answer for a second, before I understood the meaning behind her words. She thought I was hungry, which wasn’t the case of course, but apparently she didn’t realize that.

“Yes, I guess they are.” I conceded. “But I am not hungry, if that’s what you have been afraid of.” To prove my point I put even more distance between us. I sat down in the rocking chair in the far corner of her room.

“I don’t understand.” Bella mumbled, taking a cautious step away from the door, but she didn’t move any further into the room. I couldn’t pick up any trace of adrenaline in her blood any more. This was a good sign. At least she was no longer afraid of me. That’s a start.

“Hunger, or rather thirst, isn’t the only cause for the color change in our eyes.” I started. My guess was that Edward had neglected to tell her about those other reasons.

‘No big surprise there. I wonder what else he kept from her …’ I mused. But now was not the time to ponder over this. I could see that Bella was starting to freeze. And to be honest I couldn’t take the sight of her standing half naked in front of me any longer either.

“Why don’t you change into your PJ’s and then we continue this talk?” I proposed in earnest. She arched an eyebrow at me, and I couldn’t suppress a chuckle this time. “Honestly, Bella, I only have your wellbeing in mind. You are freezing, and I can’t have that. I promise I will keep my eyes closed the whole time … even if it will take every bit of strength I have.” I winked at her, before shutting my eyes. Just to show that I wasn’t toying with her, I even covered my eyes with my hands. Bella’s answering giggle made me grin in return.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

Jasper was right with his assessment. I felt a little chilly, even though the room was quite warm. But to be honest, being a little cold wasn’t the only reason why I appreciated his repeated suggestion to get dressed. Actually, there was a more pressing reason at the moment.

I couldn’t stand being half naked in Jasper’s presence any longer.

What had been just a convenient choice at the time, and a totally innocent one I might add, had turned out to be a terrible idea after all. Just seconds after I walked back into my room, I began to regret my decision. How could I have been so stupid? Even with the towel covering most of my body I felt utterly exposed. I was just glad that x-ray vision wasn’t part of the vampire skill set.

Jasper just sat there on my bed, as immobile as only a vampire could, his eyes clued to mine. But somehow I knew that he was observing my entire body … well at least the parts he could see. And the longer Jasper stared at me, the stronger my feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy became. To make things harder, I couldn’t move or speak, feeling utterly trapped in his intense gaze, reminding me of the helpless rabbit being caught in the eyes of the snake, just before she would make her move to strike … in order to kill. I dismissed that disturbing comparison at once, because I knew in my heart that Jasper wouldn’t hurt me, otherwise I would have been dead a long time ago.

But then Jasper got up from my bed and walked over to where I was still standing frozen in place, stopping maybe two feet away from me. At last I was able to see his eyes clearly. Of course, my mind only came up with one explanation at the sight of his black orbs. Thirst. Thirst for my blood. Shying back from him was just a natural response. Funny thing though because this was a first for me, the girl who seemed to have no sense of self-preservation according to Edward and probably every other vampire who’d met me. Apparently I was missing a certain kind of gen in my genetic make-up.

I truly hated to admit that there was a moment when the thought I might be wrong about my assessment of being completely safe in Jasper’s presence crossed my mind. It was just a fleeting thought, but it was there. My instinct fought with my mind and heart for the upper hand. But then I realized that I wasn’t really afraid for my own safety, but afraid for him. I remembered how hard it always had been for Edward, and although Jasper hadn’t shown any sign of weakness so far in the last two days, I knew that he couldn’t be completely immune to the scent of my blood. It might not be calling to him, but he was a vampire after all. Being drawn to human blood came with the territory.

Jasper must have sensed my anxiety right away, even though I was still keeping all my emotions to myself. Or at least I thought I was. Anyhow, my behavior was probably easy to interpret under the circumstances even without the aid of his special gift.

His immediate retreat was very helpful, not to mention his sincere apology and his reassurance. Of course I believed him when he said that he didn’t mean me any harm. I knew I really shouldn’t have doubted him in the first place. But given the circumstances and Jasper’s own confusion, who could have faulted me for overreacting?

How was I supposed to know that there was another reason for his black eyes? Nobody has ever handed me a guidebook on all things vampire. Come to think of it, having something like that would come in handy in such situations. It certainly would make things a lot easier for me. It could help me to understand their strange behavior and I could react accordingly. But then again, maybe it would be a little less exciting too. Who knew?

One thing was sure, though. Jasper certainly wasn’t as reluctant as Edward to share information. I was certain that Jasper would answer any question I’d ask – even the tricky ones – well at least in time. And I was more than grateful for that.

Jasper sat in my rocking chair, with his hands covering his already closed eyes. I laughed at his antics, although I appreciated the gesture immensely. I turned my back on him, knowing I could trust him not to take a peek. I opened the drawer of my vanity and pulled out some gray sweatpants, a dark red tank top and some panties. I dropped the towel and quickly got dressed. I picked up my brush from the vanity and tried to get knots out of my hair. When I was finished, I picked up the towel from the floor, and hung it over the backrest of my chair to dry.

Then I turned around again, and I noticed that Jasper was still sitting in same position, like he hadn’t moved even an inch. He hadn’t made a sound either, the whole time it took me to get changed and comb my hair, which couldn’t have been more than three minutes.

I stood there in the middle of my room, a few feet away from the blond vampire, just watching him in silence for minute or two. The only noises I could hear were the faint snoring sound my father was making in the other room, and the wind rustling through the trees outside.

I wasn’t stalling or anything, but once again I got enthralled by Jasper’s mere presence. His blond locks hung around his face, slightly out of order. Not for the first time I felt the desire to run my fingers through them, feeling the silky texture. Jasper was dressed in tight, worn out dark jeans and a simple long-sleeved, black shirt. His entire outfit stood in stark contrast to his pale complexion, making him look even more otherworldly. I could remember that he’d used to dress very differently, more like Edward. But honestly, this looked more like his style. Especially the cowboy boots.

To put it in one word, he looked hot.

Even though he wasn’t able to see me at the moment I was sure that his other senses were telling him exactly where I was and what I was doing. To prove my point the small smile on his face turned mischievous. I cocked my head to the side and bit my lower lip, trying to keep myself from laughing. I finally couldn’t take it any longer. I walked over to him and dropped on my knees right in front of him.

“I am decent now. You can open your eyes, if you want to.” I said in a soft voice, barely more than a whisper. But of course he could hear me just fine. He dropped his hands and reopened his eyes.

“Thank God.” Jasper said, exhaling theatrically. His eyes found mine at once. I was glad to see that they were back to their usual golden color. It didn’t escape my notice that he took a quick glance at my new attire, nodding approvingly, before his eyes went back to mine. Apparently he took just as much comfort in the fact that I changed my outfit as I did. I returned his smile with one of my own.

Now that the nervous tension had left my body, and my mind, I recalled how much I had been craving Jasper’s touch just minutes ago. Well, the feeling never truly went away. It was practically ever-present whenever I was around him. I laid my hands on his knees, feeling the same electric current running through my body just like pretty much every time we touched. I shuddered slightly from the pleasure. Without any hesitation Jasper grabbed my upper arms, effortlessly pulling me into his lap. I went willingly.

“I am sorry, my darlin’.” He said again, slightly caressing my arms with his hands, only leaving me yearning for more. “If I had any idea … I really don’t want to scare you … ever. I hope you can forgive me.” His eyes were pleading with me. He truly seemed to be mortified by his earlier behavior. But it wasn’t his fault that I’d reacted the way I had.

“There is nothing to forgive, Jasper. You did nothing wrong. I guess for a moment there I was just a little freaked out … that’s all.” I reassured. He smiled, pulling me into a tight embrace. “I am okay now.” I whispered into his hair. I couldn’t help myself but breathe him in, and he did the same to me, which made me realize something.

I pulled back. “Maybe I should be the one to apologize to you.” I began awkwardly.

He frowned at my words. “And why is that?”

“Well, I should have remembered that my scent is stronger after a shower … at least that’s what Edward always used to tell me. It must be hard enough to control your natural urges around me without the extra … incentive.”

Jasper cradled my face in both of his hands, very gently running his thumps over my cheeks. His touch was more than just soothing.

“You do smell better after a shower.” He sounded like he was in total agreement with my assessment, but his facial expression didn’t match his tone of voice. I didn’t like what I saw. The frown was back. He looked sort of … disappointed. “Remember, what I told you before? Thirst wasn’t the reason for my lapse, for the lack of a better term, well not today anyway. But apparently I have to go into details for you to understand.” He said. I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s true. Thirst is one of the reasons for our eyes to change color, probably the most likely and definitely the most dangerous one. The way you reacted is only natural, and I will never hold it against you … ever. Your safety is the most important thing to me. So if you feel threatened in any way don’t hesitate to say something or retreat. You know how easily things can run out of control in my world.” He spoke very calmly, but the significance behind his words cut deep. I realized I must have hurt him, by falsely assuming that he has been tempted by my blood, and therefore implying that he was weak. I could kick myself for even thinking anything along that line. Tears welt up in my eyes.

“Oh, no Bella, darlin’, please don’t cry. I told you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He repeated, leaning in, only to kiss away the tears that escaped, while caressing my backside in soothing circles. When he pulled back, he looked deep into my eyes again, almost like he was trying to reach my soul.

“Breathe, sweetheart.” I inhaled sharply, trying hard to calm myself down. Jasper kept up with his gentle caresses, which was very nice and helpful, but also a bit distracting … to say the least.

“Like I said, I don’t blame you for your behavior. And you made it very clear that you are feeling the same about me. So, let’s just say that we both made the wrong assumption, but now we are even. We forgave each other and can move on from here. Okay? We just need more time. I believe that we will eventually be able to read and understand each other better.” He gave me a pointed look.

I nodded in agreement, smiling through my tears. I used the backside of my hand to get rid of them. “You are amazing, do you know that? Thank you for being so understanding and patient with me.”

“Says the woman who forgave me for trying to eat her ...” He chuckled, before he leaned in again, this time to kiss my lips. I quickly reciprocated, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my hands in his hair. I tried to pull him closer, but sadly he broke our connection far sooner than necessary. True, I did need to breathe, but I wasn’t out of air … yet. I pouted in response.

Jasper laughed at my expression. “Sorry to frustrate you, my sweet darlin’. Believe me that won’t happen very often … or ever again. But I have one more thing to say on the matter, to finally close the subject.” I took in a deep breath, crossing my arms, settling in for his final words. His smirk was replaced by a more serious expression, effectively wiping the defiant stare of my face.

“Okay, I’m listening.” I said solemnly.

“Even though I cannot say that I am completely immune to the temptation of your blood, I know for certain that I am far more interested in something else. Don’t get me wrong, you do smell mouthwatering, but I don’t want your blood … at least not as much as I want you.” He explained, looking pointedly at me.

I blushed at his declaration. “That’s … that’s good.” I stuttered.

“I would say so.” A flicker of a smile crossed his features, but it disappeared just as quickly. It was obvious that he wasn’t finished yet. “But even though I don’t feel the urge to sink my teeth into your soft, beautiful skin all the time, you need to remember that I am a vampire, whose natural food source is human blood. Don’t ever forget that.”

“So, no open wounds in your company if I value my life? Is that what you are trying to tell me?” I mocked. He rolled his eyes at my poor attempt to joke about such a serious matter, chuckling darkly. I simply couldn’t resist making a comment, especially when he sounded like his brother. Of course, I knew that being around vampires wasn’t exactly trouble-free for a helpless human like me. I’ve learned that the hard way. But I definitely wasn’t looking for a do-over. One controlling boyfriend was enough.

“That would probably wise.” Jasper muttered, before he dropped his gaze to his lap.

God, was he actually thinking that I would do something that foolish on purpose? I wasn’t a complete idiot. And I was definitely not suicidal. He should know me better by now. Or maybe he was still deeming himself as weak? Whatever the reason, I couldn’t stand him acting like that.

I reached over, gently putting my hand on his cheek. He leaned into my touch, sighing. “Hmmm …” It almost sounded like a purr. It was obvious that Jasper was utterly at peace whenever our skin touched, just like me.

“I know that you will never hurt me.” I whispered softly. He locked his eyes with mine again. I hoped he could see the truth in them too. “You are doing so well … I don’t know, how else I could explain it. But whenever you are with me … around me, it does seem to be … natural for you, almost making me forget what you are. Almost. Of course, I will always remember your true nature, but nevertheless … I feel totally safe with you, Jasper.”

It looked like he was going to say something, but instead he cupped my face very gently, almost reverently, and pulled me towards him. His lips only brushed over mine, soft as a whisper. This gesture said more than thousand words. ‘I am trying … and I am happy.’ I smiled against his lips. ‘Small steps … give him time …’

Our faces were close enough that I could see the color of his eyes very clearly despite the dim light in my room. They were mostly golden, but I could see little black spots in them too, which reminded me of something.

“So, what did you want to tell me earlier … about the reason for your black eyes?”

“Ah, yes. I’ve never gotten to finish my explanation.” He replied at once. A small smile played around the corners of his mouth. “Well, better late than never, right? Well, simply put, our eye color usually tends to change whenever certain emotions run high … such as anxiety, fear, hate, rage … and of course lust.” He didn’t add anything else. But given the way he emphasized the last word, I assumed that was the reason behind his earlier reaction. 

“Lust … Hmmm.” I mumbled incoherently. I didn’t know what else to say. I clearly needed more time to come to terms with this piece of information. But it certainly did explain some things … Jasper’s sudden change in attitude shortly after our reunion at the Cullen mansion and his equally sudden escape from my house the other day.

‘Well better lust than thirst … right?’

Edward had told me that vampires were ruled by their natural urges time and time again, but I couldn’t remember him ever responding to my presence the same way Jasper did … or at least not that strongly. Well, I shouldn’t be surprised. He had made it very clear five months ago in the woods that he didn’t want me. So apparently there has never been a reason for Edward to react in this way. The only thing he ever wanted was my blood. I understood that now.

Sure, I was more than happy that Jasper wasn’t ruled by his desire for my blood, but realizing that his other urges were that strong … well let’s just say as much as it pleased me to hear that I had a certain kind of effect on his body and mind, at the same time it made me very nervous. I just wasn’t used to this kind of response.

“I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable again. But let’s hope that it will always be the only reason for my eyes to change color in your presence.” He said, pulling my out of my reverie. I met his eyes, and couldn’t help but laugh at the naughty look on his face.

“Come on, darlin’, let’s get to bed.” Jasper announced, already standing up with me still in his arms. I didn’t protest. I saw no reason whatsoever why I should complain. A moment later I was lying on my bed and he was hovering over me. I pulled him down for another kiss, moaning when his tongue caressed my lower lip, begging for entrance. I eagerly complied. Way too soon for my liking he broke the kiss, moving his lips down my jaw.

“As much as I would like to continue this, and believe me I do, very much in fact.” Jasper whispered into my ear, nibbling at my earlobe very gently. “You have no idea who hard you make it for me … dressed like this … smelling like you do …” To prove his point he pressed his lower body into mine, causing me to buck my hips in response. It was very easy to tell how hard it was for him. A low moan escaped my mouth. Jasper chuckled, before finally disentangling himself from my embrace. Why was he tormenting me like that, when it was obvious that he wanted me as much as I wanted him?

“But I think we have some other … equally important issues to talk about tonight.” He pointed out, giving me a rueful smile. Seeing his own disappointment written on his face made it a little easier for me to forgive him for his constant teasing. Jasper moved us both into a sitting position, but still keeping one of my hands trapped his. I didn’t mind, quite the contrary. Touching, even just like this, was both essential and satisfactory. “I promise I will make it up to you. How about I take you out for a real date this week?”

I smiled. “A date?” I liked the thought of that.

“Isn’t that the normal way to do this? Dating, I mean? First taking the girl out to see a movie or something and then come back to her house to make out?” He tried to sound at a loss, but I knew that he was just playing with me.

I sniggered. “Normal? Yeah, right. Like there is anything normal about us.” I scoffed, but smiled at the same time. “But sure, I would love to go out on a date with you, Jasper. A movie sounds great actually. It has been ages since I’ve been to the movies. And it will be better than taking me out for dinner.” The double meaning behind my last words wasn’t lost to both of us. And after the conversation we’ve just had and the understanding we’ve reached, we both were able to laugh about it without any fear of consequence. He kissed me once more, not as passionately as before but he put all his feelings of love and happiness into it which made the kiss that much more meaningful.

“Okay, that’s settled then.” He said, sounding all business all of the sudden. “Now, why don’t you tell me more about your encounter with that Sam Uley guy?”

Of course, I should have expected this kind of request, but I was still a little taken aback by the sudden change of subject. I crossed my legs and straightened my back, this way settling in for a long and probably uncomfortable conversation. Jasper mirrored my posture across from me. We still kept skin contact through our entwined hands. I didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose, but the gentle circles he was running with his thumps over the backside of my hands, were actually soothing my nerves. He looked at me expectantly, patiently waiting for me to begin. I could tell that he was a little tense despite his calm façade. Almost all the previous joy had left his eyes. They weren’t exactly vacant but a little colder, more guarded.


	17. Mending old wounds

Jasper POV

 

I could tell that Bella was already a little worn out which was understandable considering the ride on the emotional rollercoaster we just took. But to be honest, I felt a little drained, too, and that was certainly something out of the ordinary.

I was a vampire, for crying out loud. Vampires didn’t get tired. Ever. We didn’t need to sleep. We could run for hours without the need for rest. We could stand still without feeling any discomfort. The list goes on and on.

But this wasn’t physical, it was emotional exhaustion. Maybe the fact that I was an empath had something to do with it. Of course I knew I would feel a lot worse if I had been exposed to the entire range of Bella’s emotions. But as always these days she hid them from me, only allowing me access to them when it suited her purpose.

I was torn between feeling gratitude for her sympathy and feeling somewhat deprived, like she was keeping a significant part of herself from me. I honestly didn’t like that. She’d said she trusted me, but by being reluctant to share everything with me, not only her thoughts but also her feelings, she inadvertently annoyed me. I would have to find a way to convince her that she didn’t need to keep her emotions from me. I knew I could handle it. I’ve dealt with a lot worse and survived, haven’t I? But then again it seemed like that I had some trouble controlling and using my special power lately, especially in Bella’s presence. So maybe, just maybe, it was a wise decision on her part to shield me from time to time.

I watched her settling into a cross-legged sitting position on the bed. It didn’t look very comfortable to me, but what did I know. As a vampire I could stand for hours without moving an inch and I still would be fine. But nevertheless I copied her pose across from her, never letting go of her hands. I needed to touch her, just like a human needed to breathe. And it helped me to keep focus.

Of course I rather would have continued kissing her senseless, maybe even go further if she would have let me, but one glance at her alarm clock told me that there wasn’t any time left to allow myself to get sidetracked. It was almost eleven by now, and I needed to share some information with her before she went to sleep. For the moment my need for information took priority over any other needs, even the strong desire for her body. At last the soldier in me had managed to get the upper hand. But nevertheless, I meant what I said about taking her out on a date. I would keep that promise no matter what …

It was obvious that my request to tell me more about her encounter with the werewolf did upset her a little, but she was willing to answer my question.

“Well, I don’t know where to start … probably at the beginning. Sam came over just after I’ve finished my dinner with Charlie. I was very surprised to see him. We aren’t exactly friends, far from it. In fact, today was actually only the second time we’ve actually shared more than just a few words in passing. The last time he was here at my house …” Bella suddenly stopped midsentence, dropping her gaze. It seemed like she was unsure how, maybe even considering whether to continue at all. I could sense her distress despite my lack of access to her emotions, wondering why she’d paused. I gave her hands a gentle squeeze, encouraging her without words to go on. She took in a shaky breath. “He was the one who rescued me the night Edward left me.” She said, avoiding my eyes for the first time tonight.

I felt like I just got kicked in the gut, hard. The protective and possessive side of me took over, because my mind registered one word in particular.

‘Rescued … What the hell does that mean? What did my so called brother do to my beautiful angel?’ In just a second my mind came up with a number of different scenarios, one worse than the other. Not a difficult thing to do for a vampire like me, a vampire with my past experience.

I would have probably freaked out big time, if I hadn’t seen her sitting right across from me, healthy and breathing. I tried to take some comfort in that fact, but I had a very hard time keeping my emotions in check.

“What do you mean he rescued you?” I growled.

Bella cringed slightly. For a moment there I thought it was just her response to my verbal reaction. I was pretty sure my eyes were black again due to my anger. Maybe I was scaring her despite my earlier promise not to do so. But then I became aware that she tried to wriggle her hands out of mine. I must have tightened my grip on her hands unconsciously, which meant that she was only responding to the pressure, the physical pain I was inflicting.

‘Great job, there. Now I am the one hurting her … only minutes after I told her, promised her that I would never do anything like that …’ I berated myself, at once loosening my grip on her, but not letting go of her completely. I simply couldn’t. I would have, though, if she’d asked me to. But fortunately she didn’t. I pulled her hands to my lips, reverently kissing her reddened skin. I was glad that I didn’t cause any serious damage. I could have easily broken her bones.

“I’m so sorry.” I whispered, seeking her forgiveness with my eyes. I certainly didn’t deserve it. I never did. But Bella just smiled at me benignly, indulgently. ‘Some things will never change …’

“It’s okay Jasper, I am not mad at you.” Bella said, freeing one of her hands, only to lay it on my cheek, gently caressing my skin. As always her touch had a calming, almost healing kind of influence on me. I’ve never felt anything like this before. In all my years I’ve spent with Alice, her touch never had that kind of effect on me. And I knew that it wasn’t just because of the differences in their skin temperature.

Naturally, Bella’s skin was warmer than mine, but it wasn’t burning hot like I remembered human skin to be. And she was softer, and undeniably more delicate. I could see why Edward had kept his hands of her most of the time. He knew that one false move on his part could easily do some serious damage to her fragile body. The mere thought of hurting Bella, emotionally or physically, made my entire being ache in fear, despair and self-loathing.

Shouldn’t the fact that she was my mate, prevent me from harming her, even by accident? Apparently not.

Should I feel relieved that I’d been able to resist the urge to punch my fist through the wall behind Bella? Maybe. To tell the truth, it was really hard to resist doing anything along that line. But I knew it wouldn’t be prudent to scare Bella more than I already had. And the noise probably would have woken up Charlie.

Would the amount of practice in exercising and controlling my strength due to my past help me to exercise more caution in the future? Hopefully. Eventually. My natural instinct to express my feelings physically was strong, but thankfully my desire to keep her safe and alive was stronger. The only thing I needed to accomplish was to get a grip on my gift, and not allowing my emotions to rule my every response. Shouldn’t be that difficult, right?

‘Who am I fooling here? As a vampire I am an emotional being by nature … plus me being an empath makes the whole thing that much more of a challenge … a challenge of a life time …’

I needed answers, all of them, but I knew that Bella’s touch wasn’t enough to keep my reactions at bay. And she seemed to have come to the same conclusion, which wasn’t much of a surprise, seeing as my whole body had gone rigid.

“Please, Jasper, please I need you to stay calm, otherwise I won’t be able to get through this. I promise you, I will tell you everything.” She pleaded with me, tears glistening in her eyes. I was about to deny her that request. Well not like downright refusing her, but fearing that I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise. I was already so angry … at myself for hurting her, at Edward for whatever he had done, and honestly at Bella too for being so damn understanding, which definitely didn’t make a lot of sense to me. But if it meant that she would fill me in about everything, I would at least try to keep myself in check.

“Alright.” I conceded, taking in a deep breath. She chuckled in response, clearly sensing, and somewhat enjoying, my struggle.

“Okay. I guess I better start at the beginning … with the night of my birthday party.” Bella began. I cringed, but she ignored my reaction. I had to give it to her. At the moment she was the stronger one of us, trying hard to stay in control of her emotions … for both of our sakes, I guessed. “After Emmett and Rosalie had dragged you outside, Carlisle had tended to my wounds.” She turned her right arm slightly, showing me a small, vertical scar on her forearm, maybe three centimeters long. I traced it with my right index finger. The image of Edward throwing her across the living room like a ragdoll was forever burned into my mind. To some extent I could empathize with his reaction. He’d acted on impulse … pushing her out of harm’s way in order to protect her from me. Unfortunately it had backfired, causing her crash right into the table with the cake and a lot of glass dishes.

‘What a stupid move on his part … he did more damage this way …’

“Carlisle was actually the only one who was able to keep a level head under the circumstances.” She continued. “Edward, Alice and even Esme … they all needed to leave the house for some time. See, that’s when I knew that you weren’t responsible for what happened. None of them, not even Carlisle, had been unaffected by my spilled blood.” She shrugged at my grimace. Oddly, her nonchalant attitude seemed to help me concentrate on controlling my emotions, although I was pretty sure it was just an act on her part. I had to find out, how she was doing it. A human girl of barely eighteen years being stronger than almost two centuries old vampire was preposterous … or simply astounding.

‘Depending on your point of view …’

“Anyway … Edward took me home after that. I think deep down I already knew that something was off, that something vital had changed, but at the time I’d dismissed it … or at least I’d tried to.” She was talking very fast, like she was on a mission, trying to get it all out as soon and as fast as humanly possible. “The next two days had been pure hell for me. Edward had barely spoken with me, only answering when asked a direct question … and even then only reluctantly. I know now that he’d lied to me about more than one thing.

“You know what? He’d actually had the audacity to tell me that you had left with Alice, and that she was helping you cope with your guilt issues. Fucking lying son of a bitch.” I chuckled at her coarse language, wishing Edward would be here to witness this. For the most part she was angry, but underneath it all … there was pain, a whole lot of pain. It felt like a recently healed wound being ripped open again. I didn’t say anything. Instead I let her continue her story. The sooner she’d finish the better … for both of us.

“On the third day he asked me to join him on a walk into the woods behind my house. And stupid as I was back then, I was still hoping that we would finally have the opportunity to straighten things out between us.” Bella paused again. Going by the accelerated pace of her heartbeat it was easy to tell that she was on the verge to losing it. Obviously she was entering dangerous territory, emotionally speaking. Since the first moment of our reunion the other day in front of the Cullen mansion I’d been aware that she was hiding something from me. I’d detected some of the pain even then, but only now I realized that the wound was running much deeper. For the first time tonight I wanted to embrace my special ability and put it to good use for a change. I only hoped that I was up for the challenge.

“Bella, I can see how hard this is for you. But it’s obvious you need this, telling someone about what happened … and I’m happy to that person. But can I ask you a favor, though?” I requested warily.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Sure you can.”

“Please don’t keep your emotions to yourself.” I demanded firmly yet gently.

She gasped at my request. “Why … why would you want to do that? You would suffer right along with me.”

“Exactly.” I stressed.

She shook her head vehemently. “No.”

“Please, Bella.” I pleaded. “I need to do that.”

She stared at me for a minute, like she was actually considering my offer to help. “You don’t want to do that to punish yourself, are you? Because if that’s the case, I won’t do it …” She chided me. Her voice was layered with concern and devotion, warming my dead heard. As always she was putting my wellbeing before her own. It was only one of the reasons why I loved her so much … her selflessness. It was a rare trait of character in a human or any other creature, especially in vampires. We were known to be very selfish, but I wanted to prove her wrong.

“No, that is not the reason why I am asking you to drop your shield and share your feelings with me.” I assured her. But Bella didn’t look very convinced. Understandable reaction on her part, though. Lately I’ve been a mayor sucker for punishment. Peter had been scolding me about that on many occasions over last months. But he just didn’t get it. I couldn’t help it. So what if a small part of me was seeking redemption for what I’d done that night. It still wasn’t the main reason for my generous offer. And I really needed her to understand that, convincing her that this was necessary for both of us to overcome the past.

“Bella, look at me.” I demanded softly. She complied at once, meeting my gaze with some hesitance. Although she was still blocking my gift, it was easy to tell from the look in her eyes, that this was hard for her. Not just the consideration to take me up on my offer but to talk about the day my brother had left her. “You are right … to some extent. Even though you keep telling me that none of it has been my fault – and I am beginning to see some truth in it – you cannot deny the truth. I did try to kill you. I know that you think I am only offering my help to punish myself, but you have to believe me that I want to do this mainly for you. I’ve felt your pain the other day. You’ve tried to hide it from me ever since, tried to bury it deep inside, but I can still see it in your eyes. And it pains me to see that.

“I think it’s time to let it all out. Bella, you are the strongest person I’ve ever met, but keeping those kinds of things inside, in order to protect others from your pain … well it is not healthy. Please let me help you. I think in sharing your emotions with me while reliving your memories I can actually help you to heal some of those wounds. You were willing to do the same thing for me yesterday. Let me return the favor.” I finished, observing her reaction very closely. I projected my feelings of trust, honesty and love on her, hoping my attempt wasn’t in vain due to her shielding. Her tentative smile was all the answer I needed. It worked. A single tear ran down her cheek. I caught it quickly with my thump. “Please, Bella.” I implored once more. She drew in a shuddering breath and nodded.

“You asked for it.” She murmured. If I were human, I would have missed it. But thanks to my heightened sense, I heard her just fine. And then without any further warning I was confronted with the entire variety of Bella’s emotions. My whole body trembled under the onslaught. In fact, if I had been standing at the time, the force would have knocked me down to the floor. She grimaced at my reaction, giving me an apologetic smile. I hoped my answering smile gave her some reassurance. But to be honest, it was very hard for me to keep myself upright, and not cry out in pain. How in the hell was she able to contain all this without crumbling?

‘I can do this. I have to … for her.’ I chanted to myself, not completely convinced I would be successful. The touch of her skin seemed to help a little. I was tempted to replace her feelings of pain and loss with something better, but I knew I had to endure this in order to help her through her walk on memory lane.

“Where was I?” Bella said pensively. 

“You went into the woods with Edward.” I reminded her, bracing myself as best as I could for what would come next. I knew it wasn’t going to be anything but nice bedtime story.

“Yes.” She mumbled, taking another deep breath before she continued. I could read her emotions now, but she still tried to control them to some extent. Whether in order to keep her reactions in check or to protect me, I did not know nor did I really care. The only thing I cared about was to help her and of course making it through the process in one peace.

“Like I said … at the time I still thought we were just going for a walk to finally talk. But apparently I was blinded by my faith in our love, well more precisely in his love for me. As it turned out he just lured me out there to tell me that he was sick of me.” She spat. I could feel her anger, but it was overshadowed by her strong feelings of rejection and unworthiness. I tried my best to contain my reaction. It wasn’t easy but I managed swallowed my growls. I certainly didn’t want to wake up Charlie. I was busy enough as it was and I didn’t want to add something else to my platter.

Of course I didn’t like what I heard. Did Edward actually word it like that? Doubtful. Edward was a fool, but he wasn’t vicious.

“The first thing Edward told me was that he was leaving Forks.” She answered my unvoiced question. “Can you believe it that I was foolish enough to believe that he planning on taking me with him? But he quickly burst my bubble, making it very clear that he didn’t want me in his life anymore, saying I didn’t belong in his world … like I didn’t know that already. I am just a fragile little human … a liability … the human memory is like a sieve. I wish.” She fumed. By now her tears were running freely. Her words were a jumbled mess, but I got the gist of what had happened. “My memory works just fine. How could he believe I would be able to forget him? Or any of you for that matter?”

Bella was silent for a minute or two, simply sitting across from me. I let her cry, but pretty soon I couldn’t take it anymore. I began to replace her bad feelings with pleasant ones, carefully minding the intensity though. Overdoing it certainly wouldn’t in anyone’s interest. Not to mention the fact, that it already took everything I got to even do this much. Fortunately, Bella allowed my assistance which probably made it a little easier.

As much as it pained me to say it, I knew I had to. “You know that he lied to you, Bella?”

“What makes you say that?” She countered, staring at me in confusion. Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying, but I could sense that she was feeling a little better.

“I am an empath, remember?” I chuckled, earning me a small smile from her. The next words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. “Edward did love you.” She was just as shocked as I.

‘What in the hell made me say that? Did I want to lose her? Drive her away? Did I think telling her that would make her feel better? Would that make me the good guy? Have I lost my mind?’

But even though I felt like kicking myself, I knew that I wasn’t completely wrong with my assessment. True, as one of the two people who had been against his relationship with a human from the very beginning, I hadn’t paid much attention to Edward’s emotional state at first. As a rule I’d been trying to stay clear of my former family members’ feelings. With time it actually had become easier, since all of them had managed to control themselves around me … at least to some extent.

But despite my aversion to their relationship, it was very obvious how much Bella’s appearance in his life had changed Edward. And he’d definitely changed for the better. At least that had been the impression I’d gotten, watching him from afar. I hadn’t given it much thought before today … for obvious reasons. Yes, Edward hadn’t been brooding around the house twenty four seven like he’d used to, before Bella, but he hadn’t been over the top delirious with joy like as I’d expected him to be. Underneath the surface, hidden from everyone else, there was always a lot of doubt and concern.

“Jasper, don’t try to placate me. It won’t work. And even if you were right, apparently it wasn’t enough.” Bella argued. “If he’d really loved me, he would have stayed. He would have found a way to make it work … with me … together. I would have gone to hell and back again. I would have done anything for him. But he took the easy way out. That’s not love in my opinion. Yes, he might have had strong feelings for me, but I should have realized right away that they weren’t deep enough. I’m convinced that he’d just wanted me around as a temporary distraction from his boring existence … but he certainly didn’t want me for eternity.” She stated, adding in a whisper, “Otherwise he would have granted me my wish of becoming one of you.”

Going by the longing tone in her voice, Bella was still considering becoming a vampire. I would grant her that wish without a second thought. She would make a magnificent vampire, of that I was sure. And it would solve a lot of problems. But I knew it would do me no good to mention this now, not until I had time to talk about this whole soul mate issue with her. And this conversation would have to wait … until I’d fully come to terms with it myself.

Bella disentangled herself out of our weird half embrace, reaching over to her nightstand to grab a few tissues out of the box. She blew her nose and wiped the tears away. Despite her outer appearance, she was definitely more at peace, somewhat relieved. Her emotions were still all there, but the intensity behind them has worn off. I took some comfort in that fact, allowing myself to relax a bit too. Who would have thought that a little human girl would have the power to take down a vampire like me?

Bella grabbed her pillow, stuffing it behind her back, leaning casually against the headboard. She pulled at her comforter, indicating that she wanted to cover herself with it. I chuckled at her silent but obvious request and quickly moved. Not a second later I leaned against the headboard at her side, the comforter covering us both. Not that it was necessary, but I appreciated the gesture. Bella sighed in contentment, resting her head against my shoulder. I put my arm around her, pulling her closer.

“Thank you, Jasper … for listening, and helping me through this with your power.” She whispered, drowning me in waves of gratitude and love. I responded by placing a gentle kiss on her head. “I guess you were right. I needed to get this off my chest. Sure, I talked to my mom about it, and that helped a lot. Well, enough to pull me out of the hole I’d fallen into after you all left. But still, having to tell half truths the whole time … it is hard. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders.” She looked up at me, smiling. “Thank you.”

I leaned down, softly pressing my lips against hers. “Anything for you, my darlin’.”

“You said the exact same thing to me at the hotel in Phoenix.” She said, sounding wistful.

I smiled. “I remember. And the meaning hasn’t changed. I will do anything for you, Isabella.”

“I love you, Jasper.”

For a split second I was stunned by her verbal declaration of her love, but I caught myself quickly, crashing my lips forcefully on hers. I pushed everything in the kiss … love, pain, loss, lust, adoration, and above all hope. I was drowning in a sea of emotions … mine and hers, realizing I was losing control of my gift again. Instead of fighting it, I embraced this strange sensation. I felt like floating. I was on fucking cloud number nine. There was nothing else but her and me.

When we finally broke apart we both were gasping for air, although she was the only one of us who actually needed it. I rested my forehead against hers. “I love you, too.” I breathed.

“I know.” She replied, pulling me in for another kiss. I went willingly. The second kiss one was softer, but not less passionate. Bella was the one breaking the contact this time, smirking at me. “Wasn’t there something more important you wanted to do?”

I chuckled. “I guess we’ve gotten a little of topic here … but no complaints on my part.”

Bella giggled, sobering somewhat. “I guess we have. You wanted to know what Sam told me, right? Well not much actually. I guess he just came here to have his suspicion confirmed. But I can’t figure out what he was doing here in the first place.”

I would have asked myself the same question, if it weren’t for the little piece of information I hadn’t been able to share with her yet. “I believe they have been keeping an eye you for quite some time.” I replied. Bella stared at me in confusion. “I did pick up a weird smell around your house the other day. I didn’t know what it meant then, but I do know now.” I looked her straight in the eyes. She frowned at me. “Please Bella, don’t freak out. But the reason why I left your house prematurely this afternoon, was a surprise visit by someone unexpected.” Bella’s heartbeat picked up pace, and I quickly kept going with my explanation, before she could really freak out. “It was Laurent.”

Even though I kinda expected her reaction, I was still taken aback by the onslaught of her emotions. Relief was the most prominent one, which I thought was odd considering the circumstances. It was quickly followed by curiosity and a tad of fear, which were making much more sense. “Peter and Char had picked up his scent around the house, and called me immediately. By the time I got to the house, he was long gone.”

“Why would he come here?” Bella asked.

“Unfortunately, I have no idea.” I replied, running my hands through my hair. I wasn’t used to feeling helpless. It was unbelievably annoying. “But I promise I am going to find out. With me and Peter and Char around, we’ll make sure you’re safe.”

“And don’t forget the wolves …” She joked.

“Hmpf, lucky us …” I snorted. “I am curious, though. How did you find out about their second nature? Did he just tell you?” I doubted that, since they were depending on keeping their secret from the humans just as much as our kind, but at this point I wouldn’t really be surprised if he’d just told her.

“No, I’ve figured that one out all be myself. I am a smart girl, you know.” She announced proudly, quickly filling me in, how she’d drawn her conclusions from the bits and pieces of information she’d received all those months ago from her friend Jake. It didn’t surprise me. Curiosity was one of her main character traits, and along with her natural perception, she was a force to be reckoned with. I wasn’t sure if it always worked into her favor, though.

“That you are. So what else did he tell you?”

“Not much. I think he actually didn’t have much information to begin with. Apparently he shares the same ability as you guys … picking up scents, I mean. He gave me a warning, though. The usual one … vampires are dangerous … blablabla.” She waved her hand dismissively. I chuckled in response, knowing fairly well that Sam’s assessment wasn’t so farfetched.

“I guess, I won’t be going down to La Push as often as I used to …” She mused, and I was suddenly confronted with a pang of sorrow.

“That might be better anyway.” I commented. It came out harsher than I intended, even though it was the truth.

Bella frowned in response. “Oh, is that what you’re thinking? I should leave my friends behind now that I know what they are.” She spared me a reproachful look. “Not going to happen.”

“Bella, don’t be like that.” I replied calmly, yet beseechingly. I knew exactly where her forceful reaction was coming from. “I promise I will never tell you what to do. But you have to see that it’s not going to be easy for me. I can’t go with you to the reservation. You know we are not allowed. In case something happens, I can’t help you.” The mere thought made my stomach turn.

“I know, I know.” She interrupted me, caressing my cheek with her warm, soft hand. “You’re only concerned for my safety when I am around a werewolf, right? This much I’d been able to determine from our earlier conversation. While I can understand your concern, to some extent, I know that Sam would never hurt me on purpose, just like you wouldn’t. We might not be close friends, but I am a human and therefore he will never harm me in any way.” She stated in full conviction.

I shook my head in exasperation. Apparently she didn’t get my drift. “Bella. You might not like to hear this, or even understand it, but despite their obvious reason for being … to protect human kind from us vampires … they aren’t as harmless as you might think. Even though I hadn’t met any of them myself, I do know enough about their kind. They act on instinct alone, especially when they are young, inexperienced. To tell the truth I am a little surprised, that Sam was able keep himself in check around you. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad that he did. But in associating yourself with my kind it could be that he and his friends will see you as one of us now … especially if you keep hanging out with Peter and Char. They will definitely not like that.”

“I haven’t told Sam about them.” Bella hurried to assure me.

“I assumed as much.” I replied. “But anyhow … I need to ask you a favor. Please, keep your distance from them … at least for the time being. I want to talk to someone who has actually had some experience with them.”

“Carlisle?”

“No, Rosalie.” I said, pulling the letter out of my back pocket. I handed Bella the wrinkled sheets of paper. “I wanted to give you this earlier today, but I didn’t get the chance.”

Bella took the letter, carefully unfolding it. I could sense some hesitation, but most of all she was curious. I leaned back against the headboard, patiently waiting for her to finish reading. I kept monitoring her emotions the whole time, not exactly sure what to expect, but certainly something more than resignation and acceptance.

“You should call her.” She said, handing me back the letter. “Not only for information, though. It’s obvious that she worries about you … a lot. You shouldn’t keep her waiting.” Bella’s voice was layer with admiration and confusion. The last wasn’t a surprise, since she and my sister hadn’t had the chance to get to know each other very well.

“I was planning to.” I assured her, pointing at her nightstand where the cell phone was lying, along with the charger. I’d placed both items there shortly after my arrival, but I hadn’t had the chance to plug the phone in. Bella moved before I could. I watched her with a grin on my face, as she connected the charger first with the phone and then with socket.

“There you go.” She said, joining me on the bed again. “Now you can call her while I am sleeping.”

I shook my head in awe, pulling her in a tight embrace. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She said. Suddenly she laughed. “So does that mean that Peter and Charlotte are on house arrest for the time being?”

I chuckled in response. I had no idea Bella had such a twisted sense of humor. I liked it. “Not exactly, but close. I only suggested that it would be better for all of us if they stay at the house … for tonight at least. But since they don’t hunt in the area, they should be safe. Well, not that they are in real danger to begin with. But still, I don’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to us. And I certainly don’t want to start a war. I think with Rose’s help we can figure out how to go from here, a way to make this work … especially if we plan on staying here longer. And maybe she can help us out with the other problem … Laurent.” I growled.

“The way you talk … it sounds like strategizing to me.” Bella frowned. “Have you been in the army?”

I was once again stunned by her ability to draw conclusions. Sure, by now I shouldn’t be surprised, but it was still impressive. “I have.” I confirmed.

She raised an eyebrow at me. “How old are you, Jasper?”

“Twenty.” I answered automatically. It wasn’t a complete lie, but it was only my physical age.

Bella rolled her eyes at me in response. “You know what I mean. My guess is that you are at least as old as Edward, probably older.” She speculated, daring me with a challenging look.

‘Feisty … I like it.’

I could sense her determination. I should have known right away that I wouldn’t get away that answer. She was clearly on a mission here, and my single-word answers weren’t satisfying her curiosity. If anything, they only intensified her resolve to make me share more details about my past life.

I deliberated my options for a second. I could tell her that it was too late to have that talk, and that she should go to sleep. But she’d just opened up to me, figuratively and literally. Maybe it was time to repay the favor. And with the gates open between us – both ways – it would be difficult to lie to her about anything, because she would sense it too. But even if I wasn’t projecting my own feelings, I really didn’t want to lie to her. I wanted her to know everything about me, just like I wanted to know everything about her. Maybe it was time to come clean, to stop being a coward.

I pulled Bella into my lap, carefully keeping the comforter around her shoulders. I needed her as comfortable and close as possible. Her touch was the only thing that kept me grounded. Bella gently stroked my face with both of her tiny hands. It was kind of eerie how much she was in tune with my mood swings. I kissed her once, very softly, before I pulled back.

“Edward didn’t tell you much about me, did he?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

Bella shook her head. “No, he said that it wasn’t his place to tell me anything about your background, not without your permission.” She said, for once sounding very fond of my brother. As much as it pained me to admit, I shared her sentiment.

Due to his special gift Edward had more insight into the minds of everyone around him … with the little exception of Bella of course. And he was right. It wasn’t his place to fill her in, it was mine. But then again I was pretty sure the main reason why he’d neglected to tell her anything about my past, was the fact that he’d thought he was protecting her. And at the time he probably made the right decision. True, I wanted nothing more to prove him wrong, but after sharing some of my past with Alice and remembering her reaction, I was scared that Bella would react just the same. I could still taste the repulsion and disappointment on my tongue. I hadn’t resented Alice for her reaction, but deep down I’d expected more from my (presumed) mate.

I wanted to believe that Bella was different, I really did, but right now my fear of another negative response was stronger than my faith in what we had.

‘No one in your life is with you constantly … no one is completely on your side … stop whining, Major, you are embarrassing yourself … to love means to take risks, right?’

I exhaled deeply. “Okay, Bella. I will tell you my story. But like I told you before, it is not a nice story. I did things, horrific, unspeakable things … and I promise I will not hold it against you, if you decide to never see or speak to me again …” I said, sounding really pathetic. What was wrong with me?

“Jasper.” Bella scolded, frowning at me. “Nothing you’ll tell me will change how I feel about you. If I can forgive Edward’s lapses, I can certainly grant you the same.”

I snorted. “What Edward did, pales in comparison with my deeds.”

Bella was clearly shocked by my sudden harshness. She recoiled slightly. I felt like a total idiot. I knew that she only wanted to encourage me. And how did I repay her kindness? By fucking it up, as usual. I reached over tentatively, tugging a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. “I am so sorry, darlin’. I didn’t mean to upset you. But you will understand why he kept this from you.” I reasoned, taking in another deep, unnecessary breath. ‘Here goes nothing …’

“I was born in 1844 in Texas, in Houston to be exact.” I began, smirking at the concentrated look on Bella’s face. I knew that she was doing the math in her head. “Yes, I’m 162 years old. Anyhow, I don’t remember much about my childhood or my family. You probably know that we all seem to suffer from almost full-blown amnesia after the change. And maybe it is better this way. If you forget almost everything about your human life then at least there is nothing you want to go back to, right?”

Even though it did hurt not being able to remember much, deep down I believed it was for the better. In fact, I was sure that losing the memories made the transition a little easier. And it certainly wouldn’t be wise to hold onto things and people who were of limits. At least for us vegetarians.

“Anyway, you were right about your earlier assumption. I was a soldier. I joined the Confederate Army in 1861, when I was seventeen years old. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it. And of course my empathic ability – although still latent at the time – was very helpful, working into my favor.” I smirked at Bella’s intrigued reaction. I told her in quick succession what I remembered about my short but successful life in the Confederate Army. She kept listening with interest, clearly engrossed in that part of my story. I wouldn’t be surprised if she would ask my help on a future history paper on the Civil War for school. “Like I said, the details are a little fuzzy, but I guess since I died as a soldier, I was somehow meant to keep those memories with me.”

There was to my words than just stating facts. But Bella didn’t know that, not yet anyway. She was quiet, a little too quiet for my taste. Apparently, she was sensing that the next words out of my mouth, wouldn’t be as nice … quite the contrary.

“I can remember every detail of my last night as a human.” I said, concentrating hard on Bella’s steady breathing. I was sure that would change soon. But for now it helped me to keep going. “I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union’s mortar boats reached the harbor …” I almost raced through the rest of my story, hoping that the faster I’d finish the less painless it would be. As if. I did spare her the gruesome details, but I told her everything. About how I took numerous young girls by force, while draining them … all to satisfy Maria’s sick and perverted fantasies. But even though I’ve never took pleasure in it, I still didn’t fight it, always obeying my sire’s orders. I was a monster, plain and simple.

The following silence was awkward and very uncomfortable, which was not surprising at all. Bella had a lot to process at once. Her emotions were all over the place, as were mine, which made it that much more difficult for me to determine, who was feeling what. I kept my eyes downcast, afraid to see the rejection and disgust in her beautiful brown eyes. But even though I didn’t see her face, I could tell that she was crying. It broke my heart. But as weird as it might sound, I was glad that she wasn’t screaming at me to get the fuck out and stay away from her.

Then all of the sudden Bella threw her arms around me, pulling me closer. She sobbed into my shoulder, mumbling something like ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through all this.’ and ‘I am so proud of you.’ For a second there I thought my ears were playing a trick on me.

But then she was covering every inch of my exposed skin she could find with frantic, sloppy kisses, almost like she was trying to make sure that I was okay. Was this girl for real? I just told her that I killed thousands of humans for no good reason … apart from creating a vampire army for a crazy bitch of course … and here she was, comforting me.

I couldn’t believe my luck. Yes, I already felt the need to protect her, in the sense that she was my mate and I didn't want her taken from me. But now, it suddenly felt different. I was going to protect and care for this girl because she deserved it and so much more. She was precious and wonderful. Her capacity to love unconditionally – especially someone like me – was simply beyond me. I always thought Carlisle was the most compassionate person, but this human girl in my arms could give him a run for his money. I knew it would be hard, if not impossible, but I would try to be a better person, someone worthy of her love.

I started kissing her back, tasting the salty sweetness of her tears. We ended up holding each other as tightly as possible, both sobbing for a couple of minutes.

‘What a hell of a night?’ I sighed into her hair in utter relief and total contentment.

Bella finally pulled away, wiping the remaining tears from her face. I swiftly grabbed another tissue from her nightstand, handing it to her with a tentative smile on my face.

“Thanks.” She hiccupped.

“No, thank you.” I replied, sharing my gratitude and love through my gift. I chuckled, when she swayed under the force of my emotions, struggling to regain her composure. Not wanting to overwhelm her completely, I stopped projecting.

“I guess we are even now.” She said, shrugging her shoulders, like nothing had happened. I kissed her again, softly, lingering. I could have continued kissing her for hours, but Bella was clearly exhausted, emotionally and physically. It was already half past midnight. I didn’t need it, but Bella was without a doubt in need of some rest. She didn’t complain when I helped her lay down, covering her with the comforter. I moved to lie next to her, and she snuggled into my chest.

“You want some assistance, darlin’?” I offered.

“Yes, thank you.” She whispered. “I love you, Jasper.”

“I love you, too.” I kissed her forehead once, before I put the whammy on her. “Sleep well and sweet dreams. I’ll be here in the morning.”

A moment later Bella was out cold, breathing slowly and steadily. I made myself comfortable, planning to hold her for an hour or two. I wasn’t stalling for time. I was going to make good on my promise. But since time didn’t matter to my kind, it wouldn’t make any difference if I called Rose now or later. I just wanted to enjoy the moment.


	18. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short interlude ...

Rose POV

 

I didn’t know what day of the week it was. Not being tied to a regular schedule like going to school or university or God forbid a job, had that effect on me. It probably was the same for any other vampire. And out here in the deep woods of Canada, far away from any human population, without having any connection to the outside world, the concept of time seemed to vanish completely. One day simply blended into another. Time didn’t mean the same for a vampire as it did for a human. We had an eternity ahead of us instead of the average seventy or eighty years.

Under normal circumstances I tried not think about this at all – the obvious differences between my kind and the humans. It still pained me that I’d lost my chance of having a normal human life and all the good things that came with it, marriage, a family, a true future. The humans all took it for granted, but for me things have turned out quite differently.

“Oh, come on, Rose.” Emmett wailed. I was quite used to him acting like a five-year-old, especially when he wanted something very badly.

“Em, I told you twice already. I’m not thirsty. Please, just leave me be.” I sighed in exasperation.

“Alright, babe, as you wish.” My mate conceded, finally giving up on swaying me. For the last five minutes he’s been trying to convince me to go hunting with him. But I wasn’t hungry nor was I in the mood to go hunting just for the fun of it. I knew he meant well. I knew he was just trying to cheer me up, but it wasn’t working. Emmett kissed my cheek, whispering ‘I love you’ in my ear and then he was gone, out through the door, leaving me sitting alone on the couch in our little cottage.

This place was ours. Mine and Emmett’s. It was totally different from the other places we owned. Small, only two rooms, plus a bathroom. The only luxury was a hot tub, of which we made good use every time we were here. Sure, it was common knowledge that I normally preferred more comfort than that. But this little place in the middle of nowhere was special to us. We bought the property and surrounding land a little over forty years ago, shortly after our second marriage. Back then we spent two months celebrating our honeymoon here, barely leaving each other’s side.

But now being on my own was becoming my favorite pastime … away from everybody, alone to deal with my thoughts and qualms. Of course I felt bad, letting Emmett down and paying him not as much attention as I used to. We didn’t fight, but didn’t talk much either. Surely, my feelings haven’t changed towards my mate, I still loved him with every fiber of my being, and I knew that he felt the same about me. He was my only reward in this life, my second … my only chance of true love. But still, something was very wrong, and I knew that he could feel that too.

Ever since we left Forks I’ve been in a shitty mood, to put it lightly, unable to control my outbursts on many occasions. Yes, I’ve tried very hard not to take it out on Emmett, but unfortunately I haven’t always been successful. But Emmett just endured my fits of temper with his endless amount of patience and love, which made me feel even worse.

We both thought time and distance from the other family members would do us some good, which was why we’d decided to relocate to one of our own hideout places. I truly hoped the time alone would help us to find some peace and reconcile, but I realized now … after more than two months … that it didn’t make any difference whatsoever.

Something vital was missing and I knew exactly what it was: the family bond we’ve been sharing with the others for all those decades. Having lost that did not only hurt me, of that I was certain. I could see how much Emmett suffered from the loss, and his pain combined with my own was almost too much for me to bear. Sure, like every other family we had our little disagreements from time to time, but somehow we’d become sort of dependent on each other, on the stability and support our family provided for all of us. It might seem hilarious that strong and almost indestructible creatures like vampires had a need for something like that, but especially for me having a family played a vital component to endure this existence at all.

But then again we Cullens were an exception among our race, in more ways than one. Our choice to subsist on animal instead of human blood was probably the most decisive, but living together in such a large group, coexisting peacefully in an almost human like family system, was quite unusual for vampires … apart from the Volturi perhaps. Though, they were anything but a family in the original sense.

The term coven didn’t really apply to us. We’ve always considered ourselves a family because that’s what we were. None of us wanted this life, this existence in the first place. And in creating this family life for ourselves we were able to hold onto a small piece of humanity.

Of course, there have been times in the past when we lived apart from rest of the family. Every once in a while Emmett and I simply needed some alone time, but we always went back … happily.

But this time was different. It didn’t feel like a temporary vacation but more like a permanent change. And those kinds of changes didn’t come very often for vampires. In fact, any kind of change was usual instantaneous and permanent, this much I knew by now. And that’s what frightened me the most. I was afraid that no matter how much time would pass that there was nothing we could do to repair the damage.

The incident – better known as Bella’s 18th birthday party – had been only the final trigger, though. I knew now that there had been something looming at the horizon long before that day. And we all had played our part in the following mess. I didn’t want to point fingers. I wasn’t that callous or petty, even though I might come off like that on occasion … to people who didn’t know me. True, in the beginning I only blamed the human girl for this whole mess. If she hadn’t entranced my brother with her blood and with the enigma of her silent mind, none of this would have happened. But then again if Edward had just stayed away after he’d run off the first time … 

“Arghhh …” I groaned, feeling the strong urge to hit something, or someone. But since I was alone – not that I would ever consider hitting my mate – and I had no wish to destroy our cottage, I resisted the temptation … just barely.

There were many what-ifs, but I knew it was useless to ponder over them. What’s done couldn’t be undone by simple wishful thinking. And blaming Bella for accidentally cutting herself or blaming Jasper for reacting the way he did wasn’t going to change anything either.

The final decision to leave had been made out of desperation … for the most part. Back then I understood why, but now I could see that we’ve made a big mistake, and we’ve paid for it dearly. 

As a family we were broken. And I had no idea if we would ever be able to recover from it.

I snuggled deeper into the couch, closing my eyes, wishing that I was able to cry. I let my mind wander back to the very day we left Forks …

 

\+ + + + +

 

Emmett and I drove together in his Jeep. Even though I knew that I wouldn’t be able to drive it up in Denali, I was still pissed that I had to leave my BMW behind, in storage of course.

“Don’t worry, babe, we find you another nice vehicle to work on.” Emmett tried to appease me, patting my knee lovingly.

“It will not be the same.” I complained, scowling out of the side window. “Why did we have to leave at all?”

“I know.” My mate sighed. “I didn’t want to go either.” The pain was palpable in his voice. It wasn’t so much the place he was going to miss, but a certain person he had to leave behind, especially without having the chance to say goodbye to Bella.

I turned my head, facing him. “Then why in the hell did you agree with them?” I demanded to know.

“Like it would have made any difference …” He shot back, defending himself unnecessarily. I knew Emmett was right. Our vote wouldn’t have tipped the scale. Four against two … the odds certainly hadn’t been in our favor.

Carlisle and Esme were in the car in front of us. Alice and Edward would be joining us later, after tying up some loose ends … or whatever. I didn’t really care. The way those two have been acting lately made me sick to my stomach. How were they able to leave their supposed mates behind, all high and dry? Both of them were acting like nothing was wrong, like this was normal. But I knew it wasn’t. I didn’t need a special gift to know that they were both hiding their true feelings. At least that was what I wanted to believe.

‘God, I miss Jasper. Where the hell is he? Not a beep, no life signal … nothing …’ I really started to get worried about my brother.

“I’m sure he is fine.” Emmett said, trying to set my mind at rest for the umpteenth time. Lately he seemed to be even more in tune with my inner thoughts.

“I hope so.” I sighed.

We spent the rest of the journey in silence. Thankfully, with no need for a break except for refilling the tank, we made it to Denali in record time.

We stopped at our own house first, but just for a few minutes to unload everything. We didn’t linger though, postponing the tedious task of unpacking to a later time. Instead we went straight over to our cousins’ house. Considering how tense we all were, it was undoubtedly a very good idea. Maybe the company of others would help us unwind … a bit.

Tanya, Irina and Kate were there, and so was Laurent. His presence did startle us for a second, bringing up bad memories, but his orange-colored eyes told us everything we needed to know, for the moment. Apparently he’d kept up his promise, trying out our lifestyle. And it seemed that he was indeed serious about becoming a true member of this coven. Carmen and Eleazar were out hunting at the moment of our arrival, but they were due back in a couple of hours … which for a vampire meant in no time at all.

 

\+ + +

 

Two days later our family was complete again … well more or less. Alice and Edward had arrived the day before, both in shitty mood. I didn’t need my brother’s ability to sense that everyone was pretty much miserable. I tried to stay away from them, in fact barely speaking with any of the family members.

Our life in Denali was starting to suck, big time. Not that I’d expected anything less, considering the circumstances. I’ve never really liked it here anyway. I didn’t know exactly why, but I guess it had something to do with my territorial instincts, which seemed to increase significantly whenever there were more of us in close proximity. True, Tanya and her coven were something like extended family to us, sharing the same lifestyle and all that. But they were still very different.

Only Eleazar and Carmen were mated. Tanya, Irina and Kate were still single, after all these centuries. And, to top it all off, they were succubi. Sure, vampires in general were known to be very sexual beings. Emmett and I certainly knew how to enjoy ourselves, on a regular basis. But a succubus’s sexual appetite was immense, borderline insatiable.

Out of the three Tanya was definitely the worst. And I knew I wasn’t alone with that assessment. The way she tried to get it on with Edward every time we came to visit, was kind of entertaining, but mostly it was pitiful. In the past I used to get hysterical fits of laughter whenever Edward tried to let her down easy, always trying to be a gentleman about it. But with time her advances were getting predictable, therefore a bit boring, but not less amusing.

But under the present circumstances, I came very close to slap the bitch upside down for her insolence. Tanya had no shame at all, knowing very well that he was in misery. Even though Edward wasn’t my favorite person at the moment – or ever – I was still very protective when it came to my family. She wasn’t only hurting him by dismissing his feelings, but the rest of us as well. Thankfully, Kate stepped up, demanding that she should stay away from my brother if she knew what’s good for her.

“You had your chance, Tanya. And Edward made it very clear that he isn’t interested in you. So do us all a favor, and cut it out.” Kate snapped. Tanya looked like her sister had actually slapped her, turning on the spot and vanishing into the woods. She didn’t come back for a couple of days. When she finally returned it was obvious that she had spent her time doing some thinking, among other things. From that day on she heeded Kate’s advice and stayed away from Edward.

Laurent’s presence was another complication none of us had been prepared for. Edward stayed away from him from the very beginning. In fact, he spent most of his time alone, shut in his room, listening to music and brooding. Alice mostly did the same.

Upon her arrival in Denali I’d tried to talk to her about Jasper, but she’d refused to speak to me. I gave her some time, but trying again a few days later.

I just came back from a hunting trip with Kate and Carmen. I enjoyed spending time with those two, because they were not trying to get me to talk about what was going on with the family. They were simply there, ready to listen but not prying.

After cleaning up and changing my clothes, I went and knocked on Alice’s door.

“Come in, Rosalie.” She sounded anything but happy, but at least she didn’t send me away again. I found her sitting in her walk-in closet with her laptop and a new fashion catalogue of her favorite brands.

‘What the fuck is wrong with that woman? Her husband is missing and she is ordering new clothes …’ I wanted to rip the catalogue right out of her hands, and tear it to shreds, but I decided against it. I wanted to talk to her, not piss her off.

“What do you want?” She asked, not having the courtesy to look up.

I snorted in response, leaning casually against the door of her closet. “Shouldn’t you know that already?”

Alice finally looked up, glaring at me. The line ‘If looks could kill …’ came to mind. “I don’t have time for your theatrics, Rosalie.” She shot back.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t have the time … please don’t give me that shit. We are vampires for crying out loud. We have all the time in the world.” I yelled. She wanted to reply something, but I was quicker. “Where is Jasper?”

Alice stared at me with her eyes open wide in shock. Was she for real? She didn’t see that exact question coming? But she recovered quickly, diverting her eyes back to the catalogue in her hands. “I don’t know.” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders. Her voice lacked any emotions. I believed her words at once. She really had no idea where Jasper was. But that wasn’t what set me off. She just didn’t seem to be bothered by his absence … at all.

“What’s wrong with you, Alice? Have you even tried to contact him?” I shouted again. I had a hard time keeping my anger in check. I really wanted to smash something, or hit someone. I didn’t care which.

Lately I had trouble dealing with certain emotions, especially my rage. The urge to resort to physical violence was stronger than usual. Maybe Jasper had always played a part to keep those urges under control, using his gift. ‘Just one more reason to get him back …’

“He didn’t take his phone with him …” She tried to defend herself.

“Oh, come on. Is this the best you can do? It’s a lame excuse and you know that.” I fumed. “I know that Jasper doesn’t have his phone on him. I was there when he took off, remember. But there are a whole lot of other ways to try and contact him. Have you even tried? Do you even care?” 

That certainly struck a nerve. Suddenly she was up, screaming at me. “Shut up, just shut up. This has nothing to do with you, Rosalie. This is between Jasper and me. So just do me a favor and leave me alone.” I’ve never seen Alice act this way, and for a moment I was stunned.

Before I could say or do anything, like beating the shit out of her, the door busted open and I was pulled away from her. Emmett’s strong arms encircled my waist, holding me in place. Edward was doing the same to Alice.

“How could you just abandon him like that? He is your mate.” I accused her, shaking with anger. I tried to free myself, but Emmett’s hold was too tight.

“No, he’s not.” Alice shot back, shocking all of us. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she clearly regretted it, clamping her hand over her mouth. I didn’t know what to say. I was simply too stunned by this sudden, involuntary revelation. I only knew that she wouldn’t have said if there wasn’t some truth to it.

“Come on, babe. Let’s get out of here.” Emmett whispered soothingly into my ear, already leading me towards the door. Alice freed herself from Edward’s grip, retreating back into her closet. She spared all of us one last hurtful look and then locked herself into the closet.

“She doesn’t know where he is.” Edward said, soberly. “She’d tried but she couldn’t see anything.”

With that final statement he left us, probably returning to his own room. We followed him out into the hall. Emmett closed the door to Alice’s room quietly behind us. “Thank God, Carlisle and Esme were not here to witness this.” He stage whispered. I had to agree with him there. Carlisle and Esme were trying their best to keep the family together, but it wasn’t working. I knew it was only a matter of time before we’d split.

It wasn’t really a surprise that the first one to leave the family was Edward. His mood hadn’t improved at all, if anything it had gotten worse with each passing day. It was unbearable for all of us to witness it, the way he was punishing himself, although he’d barely made an effort to spend time with anyone of us.

Edward made his flight only a month after he’d arrived in Denali. Alice wanted to go after him right away, but Carlisle and Esme convinced her that she should leave him alone, giving him some time. They probably thought he might come back after a couple of days. Two weeks later she took off to find him.

We didn’t hear a peep from neither one of them for quite a while. I could hear Esme dry-sobbing every day, mourning the loss of her beloved children. Carlisle tried to distract himself by teaching at a local community college. But he too was suffering greatly.

A month after Alice’s departure I couldn’t take it any longer. Fortunately, it was easy for me to convince Emmett to take a vacation with me … away from all this family drama. He’d been trying his best to hide it, but my mate had a very hard time dealing with the constant tension and worry. It felt like walking on eggshells being around the remaining members of our family.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Here we were now. Two months have passed and nothing much has changed. Emmett kept calling Esme at least once a week, mostly to appease her and Carlisle, but also to exchange information. That’s how we found out, that Alice had called them once, too, but only to let them know that she and Edward were still alive and kicking. She hadn’t revealed anything about their current whereabouts or their future plans, though. As far as I was concerned they both could just go to hell and stay there.

I still had trouble wrapping my head around the last thing Alice had said to me.

“No, he’s not.”

Although in retrospect her actions did make much more sense now that I knew the truth. According to Edward Alice had been using her gift at least once to look for Jasper, but apparently she hadn’t felt the need to do more. But even if he wasn’t her true mate, he was still a part of the family as far as I was concerned. But it seemed like that I was the only one who thought so.

With a sigh I got up from the couch and walked over to the small writing table. I picked up my laptop and turned it on. We might not have a television around this place – much to Emmett’s disappointment – but at least we got a working internet connection.

I checked my e-mails for the second time today. Still nothing. I would never give up hope, but I was starting to get really pissed. I doubted that Jasper was in any kind of serious trouble. Due to his past experience he knew how to take care of himself. And if he really was with Peter and Charlotte, there would be no reason to worry.

But still, the lack of communication was excruciating. Didn’t he know that I was worried? Did he not care … like Alice? What the hell was wrong with him?

Suddenly my cell phone went off in my pocket.


	19. Phone Call

Jasper POV

 

Watching Bella sleep was nice. Feeling her warm and soft body wrapped around mine was even better. Well, actually that was a complete understatement. It was amazing, incredible … incomparable to anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing better would be the feeling of her bare skin against mine. That would be pure bliss.

‘Soon, very soon …’ I told myself. My second in command twitched in pleasant anticipation. Resisting the temptation wasn’t one of his … ehm my strong suits. He was used to get what he wanted, without any delay. As was I. Holding back, waiting to claim my mate was going to be a new challenge … for both of us.

But going by Bella’s reactions – first her passion and then the disappointment when I stopped our little make-out session prematurely – my guess was I wouldn’t have to wait too long. She was just as eager as I was, despite of her innocence. I smiled into her hair.

I still couldn’t believe how lucky I was.

Just a few days ago I had been scared to come back here. Now I was glad that I’d listened to my brother. If I’d waited a couple months longer, Bella would have finished her high school and probably would have left Forks to God knows where, and I would have missed my one and only chance of finding true happiness.

Since I didn’t believe in coincidences, I wondered if Peter had known something beforehand. But then again his reactions towards Bella had been nothing but natural, his surprise just as genuine as mine. He was a good actor, but he wasn’t that good to fool me completely.

Anyway, it didn’t matter. The end result was just the same. I was here, and I was happy.

I have been an emotional wreck for a long time, a mere shadow of my former self. True, no one wanted ‘the Mayor’ back, especially not me. I was glad that ‘he’ was caged deep inside of me, partially thanks to the dietary change due to, but mostly because I’d felt the need to bury that part of my past in order to survive. But since he had been in control of me for almost hundred years, he was still a big part of my vampire personality, latent true, but still there. I knew it wouldn’t take much to unleash the beast from its confinement. But I hoped that it would never come to that. Bella had gotten a glimpse of him the other day, when I pushed Peter into the wall. I really didn’t want her to witness a full-on outbreak. Especially not after tonight.

Bella had listened to my story, only the abridged version, sure, but still, she had shown nothing but sympathy. Of course she had been shocked about some of the details I’d shared with her, but that was only natural. Needless to say, I hadn’t expected her to take it that well. Her calm and composed reaction proved once again how strong she really was, exceptionally strong for a human.

Alice had never shown that kind of strength or sympathy. She didn’t even hear everything. I would have been willing to give her the full disclosure, if she had shown actual interest … like the sleeping angel in my arms. The reason why I’d spared Bella the most horrific details was that she was too good, too innocent, too pure …

But Alice on the other hand was a vampire. She already knew what our kind was capable of, even though she’d never seen or experienced anything like the horrors I’d lived through. But whenever the topic had come up, Alice had used her usual excuse. ‘Live in the now, baby!’ But the truth was that she’d tried to avoid anything connected to that particular subject. Deep down I always knew that was part of the reason why she hadn’t gotten along with Peter and Charlotte, and why she’d barely accompanied me whenever I visited them in the past. What had she been afraid of? That we were going to revel in old memories. As if.

She’d barely taken a look at my scars, always insisting I’d left on a shirt during sex. I had never resented her for acting that way. I knew I looked hideous. That was why I always wore long-sleeved shirts and long trousers, to cover up my body. Thankfully I didn’t have any scars on my face. That would have been hard to cover up, at least without looking stupid.

In the past I’ve never really thought about it, Alice’s subtle hints that she was sort of disgusted by me. I’d just gone along with her leadership in our relationship. She’d wanted me to bury that part, my past, and I’d agreed with her, pretending that it wasn’t part of who I was. But it was. Bella was right. My past experiences had shaped the person I was now, the good and the bad ones.

My angel was in deep slumber land, thanks to the extra help of my gift. I’d kept her up for far too long, and she needed her rest. From what she’d told me, finding sleep hasn’t been easy for her after Edward’s dumping act. ‘Fool!’ How could he leave her? Tell her that she wasn’t worth it? He’s gotten it all wrong. She was too good for him, not the other way around. She was too good for me, too. She was such a pure soul. I knew that I didn’t deserve her, but I would try to show her everyday that I was going to try. I wanted to change, becoming a man worthy of her.

As soon as she was out cold, Bella’s emotions were closed to me again. It was quite a relief, but still a little weird. I just wasn’t used to being blocked by anyone so completely. But maybe I should learn to appreciate the peace that came with the silence. Whenever I could feel Bella, the strength of her emotions was simply overwhelming, almost too powerful for me to handle, especially the bad ones.

She was like two sides of a coin, incredibly strong and exceptionally sensitive.

Bella’s head was positioned on my chest again, just like the night before. I still couldn’t fathom that this was a comfortable position for her. But then again, why argue? I loved it. Her tiny hands were gripping my shirt, in a futile attempt to keep me right there with her, like I had any desire to leave this place. I held her tight, but not too tight, caressing her back in soothing circles, barely using any pressure. I didn’t want to wake her. She was so deep asleep that she didn’t stir at all. She didn’t talk either. I sighed into her hair, breathing in her mouthwatering scent. She smelt strongly of her strawberry flavored shampoo, herself and me. I closed my eyes, enjoying the peace and quiet.

A soft beeping sound broke the silence, informing me that my cell phone was fully charged. It was now two in the morning, not that the time really mattered to a vampire. Of course Rose would be up.

‘But maybe she is busy with something more important … no stalling now … Make the call already, you coward …’ 

I knew I needed to get this over with, sooner rather than later. But I really wasn’t looking forward to the task. Sure, I hoped she would be glad to hear from me, but at the same time I was certain that she would be pissed as hell that I hadn’t tried to contact her sooner. And a pissed-off Rose was rather scary. Thankfully we were doing this over the phone rather than in person.

I really didn’t want to leave Bella’s side, with her touch having the power to ground me and all that. But knowing that this chat would probably become a little louder than usual between me and my sister, I decided it would be best to leave the room. Bella’s grip on my shirt hadn’t loosened one bit, like she was unconsciously anticipating my next move. Of course, I could have easily freed myself from her grip by force. But such an act would have woken her in the process, and I really didn’t want to take the chance. Instead I wriggled awkwardly out of my shirt, leaving it behind while climbed out of her bed. Bella sighed in her sleep, burying her face in my shirt, inhaling its scent, my scent. I placed her second pillow into her arms, smiling when she wrapped her arms around it. The pillow was a poor substitute for my body, too squishy, but it seemed to do the trick. I leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her temple.

“I’ll be right back, darlin’.” I whispered so low, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hear it, but feeling the need to reassure her anyway.

I picked up the cell phone from her nightstand and turned it on, making my way downstairs into Bella’s living room. I sat down on the couch, leaving the lights out. I didn’t need them. I felt a little uncomfortable without my shirt on, not because of the cold but … well because I felt exposed. I barely ever wore a sleeveless shirt, because I was very self-conscious about my scars. I knew that they were more prominent to a vampire eye, but they were still visibly to humans, if they stared long and hard enough. 

But thankfully no one was there to see me sitting half naked in the dark. Charlie was sleeping upstairs in the other room, totally oblivious of my presence. The only one who I was in the house was my girlfriend. I chuckled at the thought. The terms ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ weren’t even coming close to what we were to each other. But pretending to be a human probably included using human terms like that, as vague and incorrect they might be.

The security pin was written down on the back label of the cell. I quickly discovered that there was only one number saved in the directory. Taking one final deep breath to brace myself, I leaned back into the cushions and push the dial button.

After the fourth ring, a very familiar, female voice answered.

“Jasper, is that really you?” Rosalie’s voice broke at the end of her greeting. Even with the physical distance I was able to tell that she was more than glad about my call. She sounded very, very relieved in fact. To say that I was shocked by her reaction was an understatement. True, I had expected or rather hoped that she would be happy to hear from me, but hearing the unadulterated desperation in her voice, made me wonder. Something was must have happened after they left Forks.

“Who else?” I joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. Not a good idea, as it turned out.

“Don’t you fucking dare make fun of me, Jasper! Have you any idea what I’ve … what we’ve been through since the day you vanished? And it took you what … five months … five months to pick up a phone to call and let me know that you are okay. I should rip your arms off and beat you with them until you realize what you’ve done. Hell, you deserve even worse than that.” She shouted at me, and I knew that she meant every word. I understood her reaction, I really did. But I wasn’t in the mood for another fight this night. I was still emotionally exhausted from my earlier talk with Bella.

“Hold you horses, Rose!” I stopped her ranting, trying to keep the level of my voice down despite the rising level of my own annoyance. Sure, she had a right to be upset with me, but I didn’t want to alert the two sleeping humans upstairs. “First off, I didn’t call to have a fighting match with you, and second I just returned to Forks. Just yesterday to be precise. So there hasn’t been a chance to call you before today …”

“That’s a lame excuse and you know it. What about an email, or even a fucking letter?” She interrupted me harshly. “Don’t tell me, that you lost your ability to type a few lines … right along with your sense of responsibility towards your family. How could you do that to me? To all of us …” She was breathing hard at this point.

I longed to take her into my arms, and to comfort her. But since that was impossible at the moment, I hoped my words would have a similar effect on her. “I know, Rose. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have left you hanging, worrying about me. But I wasn’t ready before today. I needed some time to come to terms with what happened … I’m so sorry that I hurt you. It wasn’t my intention.”

I heard Rose sigh on the other end. “Well, at least we’ve gotten it all off our chest … for now.” She allowed, chuckling. I knew I wasn’t off the hook just yet, but for the moment she seemed to be appeased enough to let it go. “So, how are you?”

“I am good.” I said. It was an understatement, of course. I was ecstatic, blissfully happy. But I knew now was not the time to tell my sister about my newfound happiness with the sleeping angel upstairs. “And you?” I asked in return.

“I’m fine.” She answered, not sounding very convincing. It was easy to tell that she wasn’t fine, far from it. Glad to hear from me, but definitely not fine. Something was up. I knew Rosalie pretty well, and it was easy to tell when she was hiding something from me. She never has been one to talk about feelings and stuff at great length, but I’ve always been the one she confided in whenever she’d felt the need. Well, that was in the past.

“Are you still up in Denali?”

“No, Emmett and I left Alaska a couple of weeks ago. We are currently in honeymoon suite two.” Rose said, using the nickname for their little cottage up in Canada. “And you are still in Forks.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Yes. I am here with Peter and Char. Looks like we will be staying here a little time longer, packing up my stuff and tying up loose ends.” I said.

“Tying up loose ends?” She repeated, sounding confused.

I chuckled under my breath. “Yeah, well, I might have lost my temper a little when I discovered … hmmm your absence … and I need to repair a few things I damaged in the process.” I explained inadequately. It wasn’t a complete lie though. I was still planning to fix the damage on the wall. But I wisely left out the main reason for my prolonged stay, quickly changing the subject she could ask for any more details. “How is the rest of the family doing?”

She snorted at my poor attempt to make small talk. “How do you think?” She sighed heavily. “Not good.”

Rose didn’t need to elaborate. Those two words said quite enough. Sure, deep down, I hadn’t truly expected another answer. And as bad as it might sound part of me was glad to hear that they all had a tough time. It would have been disappointing, to say the least, to hear that they were all happy, now that I was gone.

But maybe my absence didn’t have to do anything with it. 

It was a hard thing to consider, but it would explain why none of the others had tried to get in contact with me. I hardly needed Rose’s verbal confirmation, not after the letter she’d left behind. So, I’d left my phone behind. It would have been an easy thing for Alice to get in touch with me through Peter. But she never did. And what was even worse, she’d kept Rose and me apart as well. But why?

“Jasper.” Rose called my name for the second time, finally pulling me out of my reverie. “Are you still there?”

“Yes. I just realized my wife is a total bitch.” I growled.

Rose sniggered. “Congratulations, bro, it took you long enough.” I growled again at her taunting. “Sorry, Jasper, I didn’t mean to upset you further … I’m sorry. I know it must hurt. But she’s not worth it. The way she behaved lately … You deserve so much better.”

“You sound just like Charlotte.” I remarked. ‘Or Bella … or Peter …’

“Well, apparently I see eye to eye with her on more than one subject.” She laughed. I was glad that she seemed to be more relaxed now, but I was a little miffed because she was sort of scolding me. I decided to let it go, for now.

“Who are you talking to?” I heard Emmett’s voice inquiring loud and clearly, like he was just standing beside me.

“Jasper.” Rose answered shortly, teasing him by sounding nonchalant.

“You’re kidding?” Emmett sounded surprised but very excited at the same time. “Give me that phone.”

Rose was never happy to be told what to do. I listened with a wide grin on my face to their short, but very familiar banter. But Emmett was very persistent in his request, so she finally caved and handed the phone over to my brother.

“Hey, bro. Where the fuck have you been hiding?” Emmett asked in the same tone Rose had used before. He was just as annoyed and hurt. Although Emmett wasn’t one to hold a grudge against anybody for long, I knew that it would take me some time to reconcile with him. He was a very sensitive person underneath all those muscles.

“I was with Peter and Charlotte in Arizona.” I answered.

“Was? Where are you now?” He pressed.

“Forks.” I said at the same time as Rose. I could hear the smile in her voice.

There was a short silence after that. “Mmmh. How long are you planning to stay there?” It was obvious that he had ulterior motives to ask me that.

“For a few more days …” I said, smiling. At least. I added in my mind. I already suspected what his next words would be.

“Good. Rose and I will be there to meet you by tomorrow morning … the latest. You better be there, or else.” He threatened. I laughed in response, earning me a growl from both of them.

I hurried to appease them. “Okay, chill guys. I promise I’ll be here.” As long as Bella was here, I would stay.

They both huffed in irritation. “Okay, I’ll hold you to it. Until tomorrow then.” Emmett said, adding in a softer voice, “I’m glad you are alright, bro. I’ve missed you.” Then he hung up. I was a little stunned at first by the sudden termination of the connection. But then again, everything important has been said, and we would have the opportunity to talk more the next day.

I leaned back, letting out a sigh of relief. The conversation had gone better than I’d expected. I knew they both were still mad at me to some extent, but on the whole they seemed to be more relieved and happy than actually angry. The only thing I was starting to get worried about was the one very important change in my life, I’d kept from them. Bella. 

I knew it was for the best that I’d kept this detail from them. It would be better to explain everything in person, having the advantage of using my gift if necessary, and having Peter and Charlotte there to act as a buffer. Sure, deep down, I was hoping for their approval, that they would be happy for the both of us. But knowing that Rose never really liked having Bella around in the first place, and considering the consequences of her involvement with Edward … well, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t support our relationship, at least not in the beginning.

I could live with that, if I had to. I would never change my mind about Bella. She and I belonged together. End of story. Rose was going to see that. And I knew that Emmett wouldn’t be thrilled about the news either, as overly protective as he was of his little sister, but I hoped that that his joy of seeing her again would work into my favor.

‘There will be enough time to ponder over these things later …’ I told myself, making my way back upstairs.

I returned to Bella’s room. I could see that she hasn’t moved an inch, lying there half on her stomach, half on her side, still clutching the pillow tightly too her chest. She still had my shirt in a death grip, too. She was a picture of beauty. I joined her, spooning her from behind this time.

I stayed in that position until I could hear her father’s alarm clock go off. According to his set of emotions, he must have slept really well. He was cheerful. For a moment I wondered if he’d suffered just as much as Bella. Probably. I didn’t know if he would check up on Bella or not, but I didn’t want to take any risk of being caught in his daughter’s bed. Shirtless to boot. I swiftly moved, hiding in her closet. I felt like an idiot, or a normal human teenager. Everything in here smelled of fresh powder and Bella.

I knew that Charlie hadn’t been very fond of Edward, especially after the whole incident with James. Would he treat me the same, just because I was Edward’s brother? I hoped that I could convince him otherwise. Knowing that I could be very charming, the odds to prove my worth were in my favor. I doubted that I would fail in my attempt. But I didn’t want to use any of my vampiric abilities. I wanted to earn his trust the honest way, just like I’d done with Bella.

‘It’s the only way … and time will tell …’

After taking a shower and a short trip back to his room to get dressed, Charlie made his way downstairs. Assuming it was safe, I returned to Bella’s side, listening to her father rummaging in the kitchen. Half an hour later he finally left the house. It was now five thirty. I knew that Bella would have to get up in an hour, which meant there was enough time left to go into the kitchen and make her a nice breakfast.

I went downstairs without making any sound. I quickly checked the contents of the fridge. How hard could it be to make some scrambled eggs or pancakes and brew some coffee?


	20. It was just a dream, right?

Bella POV

 

The first few weeks after Edward left me in the woods, I’d experienced the same dream over and over again, causing me to wake up screaming at the top of my lungs, scaring my dad half to death every time. But I hadn’t had this dream for quite some time now. With time the intervals had become larger … and I had been able to deal with the aftermath a little better.

 

\+ + dream + +

 

I know right away that I am dreaming. Strangely, I always seem to know when I do. I don’t know how this is possible, but I just know, even though everything else isn’t quite as clear and obvious.

The scenery is completely different this time. That much I can tell at once. No green, endless woods, me chasing after someone … someone very familiar and important to me … someone I am not able to catch up to, my feet unable to move fast enough. Then suddenly it feels like I am rooted in place almost like I am treading quicksand, the more I push the harder it becomes to move forward at all … I hate it.

This time I am in the desert. I am wearing a reddish-purple, sleeveless sundress, made of some beautiful, silky fabric. I feel light and happy, simply enjoying the warmth of the sun, as it caresses my bare, pale skin. There is nothing but sand and cacti as far as my eye can see. I like it here. It reminds me of Arizona. It feels like home.

Suddenly I feel a hand in mine, almost as warm as mine but not quite. However, I’m not startled because the touch feels very familiar, and definitely comforting. I look up and see the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, piercing into mine.

“Jasper.” I breathe out in relief. I beam up at him, enjoying the feeling of genuine happiness and unadulterated love washing over me. I know it isn’t all his doing.

“Hello, my darlin’.” Jasper greets me with a huge smile on his face. I can see the love he feels for me in those pretty eyes of his. Then he leans down, kissing me softly on my lips. “You look lovely in that dress.” He complements me. “I love you so much, Isabella.”

“I love you too, Jas.” I reply, trying to catch my breath. It doesn’t seem to matter how he kisses me, or how softly his touch is. Jasper always takes my breath away … merely with his presence.

Holding each other’s hand tightly, we walk through the desert for an eternity. Or at least it feels like that. Time really does work differently in a dream than in reality. I watch the effects the sun has on Jasper’s skin with interest. He sparkles in the bright light. Of course, he does. It isn’t a surprise, since he isn’t the first vampire I have seen in the sunlight. The numerous scars on his skin are more visible now … but still he is beautiful, just perfect in my eyes, not damaged or ugly like he thinks. I smile.

Then all of the sudden Jasper vanishes from sight and I am alone in the desert. At least I think I am alone. My hand aches from the loss of his touch. I feel empty and lost, afraid even. I turn around, and around, desperately searching for my one true love. But all I can see is sand, nothing but sand and cacti, and the occasional withered tree. The sun goes down quickly, and then it is dark.

The place doesn’t have the same effect on me now. The scenery hasn’t changed much, but the atmosphere. A shiver runs down my spine. Not from cold, but from the heaviness in the air. Where is Jasper? Why did he leave?

I begin to run. I always run in my stupid dreams. But trying to run doesn’t do me any good. It never does, not in my dreams or in real life. I stumble quite a few times, but I don’t fall. Panic begins to rise in me.

“Where do you think you’re going, love?” An ominous voice startles me. I recognize that voice immediately. I stop in my tracks and turn around.

There he is, as beautiful as ever. Edward.

“I am looking for Jasper. Have you seen him?” I ask, a little out of breath from the running.

He smiles at me, his trademark crooked smile that used to have a certain effect on me … in the past. But it doesn’t make my heart beat faster anymore. Sure, he is still beautiful, but he doesn’t even have a tenth of charm on my Jasper.

“Why are looking for him?” He wants to know. His voice is musical like I remember, but he doesn’t sound like the Edward I used to know. I ignore the nagging feeling in my chest for the moment, because all I want to know is where Jasper went.

Edward takes a deliberate step forward, and for the first time I can see him completely. My eyes go straight to his. I gasp in shock. They aren’t golden, but blood red.

“Edward, what happened to you?” I exclaim in horror. Of course, deep down I know what this change means. He must have been back to feeding on humans. But why?

“What are you talking about?” He counters smoothly, although I am pretty sure he knows exactly what I am referring to. He just smiles, taking another step closer. I want to reach out for him, but quickly think better of it.

“Your eyes …” I whisper.

“Oh, that. Well, I am a vampire after all, and that’s what we do.” He answers my question, in a nonchalant kind of way, like it is nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to worry about. But it is, at least for me. Why would he go back to feed on humans after all this time? After all that he’d told me about his constant struggle for hanging on to his humanity, his remorse for taking all those lives in his rebellious era all those years ago … I don’t understand this change.

I may not be in love with Edward anymore, but I still care about him to some extent. “Let me help you.” I offer at once.

He just laughs at me. I shudder, because his laugh sounds an awful lot like the sound James had made right before he’d tried to kill me.

Edward’s demeanor changes entirely. He glares at me, his face contorts in rage. “I don’t need your help. And even if I did, I wouldn’t take anything from a slut like you.” He spits at me. I visibly flinch. I’ve never heard Edward use that kind of language with me. I feel sick to my stomach, and I am actually very afraid of my former boyfriend. What is wrong with him? And where is Jasper? Why isn’t he here to protect me? He promised.

In a futile attempt to get away from him I take a step back, but Edward reaches out, grabbing my upper arm, pulling me closer to him. “Did you actually think I wouldn’t find out?” He scoffs, looming over me.

‘Stay calm, stay cool, this is Edward, he will not hurt you.’ I chant to myself, still hoping he’d calm himself.

“I leave you and you hook up with my brother? And you think you are safe with him. How foolish of you, you stupid little girl!” He sneers. His face is so close to mine, I can smell his sweet, familiar scent. I want to vomit. “You are nothing but a blood bag to us!”

“Edward, please stop it! You are scaring me.” I plead, tears running down my face. His grip is tight, very tight. And it starts to hurt pretty badly. But I don’t want him to know how much, and thereby giving him the satisfaction that he is getting to me, so I don’t say anything, but suffer in silence. I still believe in my heart that Jasper will come. And I will bravely endure anything until then.

“Like I care, you worthless bitch.” He snorts. His words cut me more than the physical pain ever could. “And he doesn’t either. Otherwise he would be here, wouldn’t he? To protect you from the big bad vampire.” He taunts me further, clearly enjoying the anguish that is unmistakably visible on my face.

“Jasper loves me and I love him.” I state with full conviction. There is no doubt in my mind about the truth behind my words.

Edward seems to sense that, and he obviously doesn’t like my answer. He growls maliciously. “You are mine!” And then he forcefully grabs me by my hair, tilting my head to the side, thus exposing my neck. Before I can say or do anything, he sinks his teeth into my throat … 

 

\+ + end of dream + +

 

I woke up with a start, desperately trying to catch my breath. My entire body trembled from the drama I’d just experienced.

‘A dream, it was just a dream …’

I sat up, immediately checking my neck. Of course there wasn’t any sign of injury or blood. The whole episode had been just a dream after all. But it had felt so real. My hands were still trembling. It had a real impact on my nerves … more than any dream before.

‘Did I scream again?’ I couldn’t remember.

Before I was able to gather all my thoughts, the door to my room burst open and I found myself encircled by a set of strong arms.

“Shhh. It’s alright, I’m right here.” Jasper cooed into my ear, pulling me into his lap. Hearing his soft, soothing voice broke through my wall of angst. I collapsed into Jasper’s embrace, more than willingly. I felt exhausted, but utterly safe … and loved. Jasper was drowning me in waves of calm.

“I’m okay.” I sobbed into his chest. I hadn’t even noticed before that my cheeks were wet from tears. I must have cried for real, not only in my dream. “It was just a bad dream.” I tightened my hold on him, not ready to let him go just yet. He didn’t seem to mind, quite the contrary, he was continuing to murmur reassuring words into my ear, stroking my back in soothing circles. I couldn’t make out the actual words, but in truth it didn’t matter what he was saying. His presence was all I needed.

Eventually my breathing evened out. I was feeling so comfortable, and sort of distracted by Jasper’s gentle ministrations, that I hadn’t noticed until then that Jasper’s back wasn’t covered by any clothe. For the first time I was touching his bare skin. Well, except for his face, neck and hands, I hadn’t had the chance to feel the texture of his skin. I was excited to finally be able to feel him, to discover him.

My fingertips ghosted over the foreign terrain, like they were having a mind of their own. It wasn’t smooth like marble, like I’d expected it to be. I knew I shouldn’t be surprised to ascertain the unevenness on his skin, his scars. I easily recalled parts of the talk we had last night, him mentioning something about his training newborn vampires, and how they had been quite difficult to control. He hadn’t told me much in detail, but since I’ve already known … thanks to Edward … that vampire teeth and their venom were the only thing able to leave behind such marks, it was clear that Jasper had received many injuries during that time.

But to tell the truth I hadn’t expected that he’d suffered quite that much. As far as I could determine without actually seeing them with my own eyes, Jasper’s entire backside seemed to be covered with scars. He must have been bitten countless times. My heart went out for him again.

I could clearly remember the unimaginable pain I had to endure when James bit me. I shuddered at that memory. And that was just one single bite. To experience this kind of pain over and over again … well I couldn’t imagine how anybody, even a vampire, could survive this suffering, without any kind of repercussion on body and mind.

I wasn’t disgusted, far from it, because in my opinion this was just further proof of Jasper’s strength. He’d managed to survive a living hell. Each and every scar was a testament to that. He should be proud of himself. But I knew he didn’t see it that way, because of the atrocities he’d committed. His words, not mine.

Suddenly I realized that Jasper had stopped everything he’d been doing. No more muttering, no more caressing of my backside. In fact he’d stiffened in my arms, like he was preparing himself for whatever reaction he thought I might have. I was sure my emotions were easy for him to read, but I couldn’t be sure. I still didn’t even know how I was able to block his gift. Maybe just the mere wish to keep them to myself was doing the trick. Who knew? But I felt nothing but love and admiration for him, along with a certain amount of curiosity and not to mention desire. The opportunity to touch his bare skin at last … was pure bliss. The familiar tingly feeling went right from my fingertips through the rest of my body, setting it on fire.

However, I feared that he was uncomfortable by the fact that I was exploring his body without his verbal consent. But he didn’t pull away, which I was more than glad about. Instead I could make out a low growl that seemed to originate from the depth of his chest. It actually vibrated through his entire body. First I was a little mystified, not sure what to make of it. I’ve never heard a person … human or vampire … make that kind of sound.

He was purring. Like a cat.

“Jasper, are you purring?” I giggled.

“No, I’m not.” He mumbled, nuzzling my neck.

“Yes, you are.” I insisted, laughing, while trying to free myself from his tight hold.

Jasper chuckled into my shoulder, placing a quick kiss on the same spot before he finally let go of me. He only allowed enough space between us, still keeping his hands on my hips, so that he could look into my eyes. “Does it bother you?” He asked in earnest.

I smiled at him. “No, I like it. You sound like a cat.” I said, still giggling slightly. “Like a big, cuddly cat.” I amended quickly, when I saw the frown on his face.

Not a second later I found myself flat on my back trapped under the weight of his body, my hands pinned down by his. I’d barely felt him moving at all. Damn vampire speed. I still wasn’t used to it.

‘I probably never will be, until …’ I stopped the thought right in its tracks. This clearly wasn’t the time or the place for that kind of contemplation.

“So, you think I sound like a big, cuddly cat.” Jasper growled in a playful way. I didn’t try to fight him off, just lying there underneath him, not moving but staring into his eyes. They were still golden for the most part, but I could see some flecks of black in them. I wasn’t scared at all. It was pretty obvious that he wasn’t offended by the comparison, just amused … and equally excited as I was. A certain part of his autonomy, currently poking me into my upper thigh, made it very clear how excited he was. I couldn’t help but moan. Jasper leaned in, kissing me passionately, swallowing the sound.

He didn’t hold back. He never did. I liked it. More than liked it, actually, I loved it, because he made me feel cherished and wanted. He didn’t treat me like a fragile human, more like an equal.

Jasper let go off my arms, pressing his body closer to mine, carefully minding his strength though. I wrapped my arms and legs around his well-built frame, clinging to him. I wanted … no I needed him closer. Without any inhibition I pressed my pelvis into his lower region. He growled again, louder this time, grinding his erection directly into my center. Heat flowed through my veins, awakening each and every nerve ending in my body. It was kinda embarrassing how quickly I got wet. I’ve never felt anything like this before.

I really didn’t want to stop kissing him, but I had to. Sensing my need for air, Jasper pulled back to kiss down my neck, across my collarbone.

“Oh, Jasper …” I sighed in pure bliss, burying my hands into his hair. I tugged, trying to pull him back to my mouth. He didn’t comply, though, continuing to taste me. His hands were traveling over every inch of bare skin he could find. I was on fire, and I didn’t want him to stop … ever.

I wanted him. Right now.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I want you, too.” He groaned into my skin. I hadn’t realized that I’d voiced my desire for him out loud. Jasper nipped at my skin along my neck, until reached my ear. All the frenzy was gone. “But I’m afraid, we can’t. There isn’t enough time for all the things I want to do to you.” Then he pulled back, disentangling himself gently. He kissed my pouting lips once more, before he sat up. He was such a tease. But somewhere deep inside my mind I knew he was right. I didn’t want to rush this either.

‘Damn hormones …’

I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath in order to calm myself. When I reopened them, I had to blink twice before I realized my eyes weren’t actually playing a trick on me.

“Why in the heck are you wearing my apron?” I asked without actually expecting an answer, because it was pretty obvious. It was stained what God only knew what.

Jasper looked down at himself. “Oh, that … I hope you don’t mind me borrowing it … but considering you held my shirt hostage, I had no other choice.” He chuckled, reaching reached behind me, retrieving his shirt. It was wrinkled, very much so. I blushed when I realized that I was responsible for its condition. But he wasn’t angry with me, just winking at me, before he quickly changed his outfit.

‘Too bad …’ I thought. I loved him in this half-naked state, even though my apron kinda looked silly on him.

“I was making you breakfast.” He added, just confirming my suspicion. Was that pride I heard in his voice?

“Really? That’s so sweet of you.” I replied, allowing him to pull me off the bed. I hurried to fix my top. He smiled down at me, looking slightly embarrassed. I wondered why.

“How about you take a shower and get dressed, and then come downstairs.” Jasper offered. It was obviously an excuse. Did he actually think that I wouldn’t see right through him?

“But I don’t want to wait. I’m hungry now.” I swiftly pushed past him, making my way down the stairs. He didn’t try to stop me, but I could hear his desperate groan. That reaction made me even more curious.

When I entered the kitchen, I immediately understood why Jasper asked me to take a shower first. There was a thin layer of flour covering most of the surface, a broken egg in the mist … simply put it looked like a bomb went off in here. Even my Dad hadn’t been able to create this kind of mess in this kitchen whenever he was in here. Jasper should have said that he was trying to make me breakfast.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed, clapping a hand over my mouth.

I sensed Jasper moving behind me. “I’m sorry! I wanted to surprise you. But cooking is a lot harder than I’d thought it would be.” He hung his head in defeat. At this moment he looked so forlorn. A lesser person would have cheered to discover that a strong fearless creature could fail at such a petty task as making breakfast. But wasn’t that small-minded. It wasn’t really a surprise to me that he hadn’t succeeded. Why should a vampire possess any cooking skills? They didn’t need it. Not for the first time I wondered why Peter possessed such a skill. His scrambled eggs were to die for (no pun intended).

I threw my arms around Jasper. “It’s the thought that counts.” I said, kissing his lips once. He smiled sheepishly. “I think I’ll take you up on that offer now. I’ll take a quick shower and get dressed, while you clean up this mess. I think I’ll stick with the usual cereal for breakfast and a cup of coffee.” I said, winking.

“You do that.” He replied with a huff, letting me go.

I went upstairs with a grin on my face. The mortified look on Jasper’s face was hilarious, but mostly cute. It made him look like … a human.

As promised I kept my shower as short as possible. Unfortunately I had to wash my hair again. It was much easier to disentangle the knots when it was wet. After dry-blowing my hair I went back into my room. I quickly chose some underwear, but then I was faced with a dilemma. For five minutes I stood in front of my closet, deliberating what I should wear.

This was a first. I usually didn’t waste much thought on what I was wearing, because I didn’t really care. As long it was comfortable it was good enough for me. Shopping for clothes was one of my least favorite pastimes … which explained the lack of choice when it came to dressing up a bit. I wasn’t even sure why I even thought about at all, but today I was in the mood to change things up a bit. I finally picked one of the only two skirts I owned. It was black and ended mid-thigh – pretty, simple, and very comfortable. I added a pair of tights, a dark red t-shirt and a grey sweater, and my outfit for the day was complete.

I tried out a few things, but in the end I decided to leave my hair open. I quickly made my bed, smiling when I remembered what had taken place on it just a few minutes ago. I couldn’t wait for a repeat … although hopefully with less clothing.

I snatched my school bag and finally made my way back downstairs. I made a short detour, placing my bag by the front door. When I entered the kitchen, it was as clean as nothing had ever happened. Not a spot left. Not that I’d expected anything less what with the vampire speed and all, but I was still a little amazed. Jasper stood with his back to me, washing some dishes in the sink. I went over, wrapping my arms around his waist. He shuddered delicately, sighing in contentment, mirroring exactly how I felt.

It wasn’t easy to let go, but I knew I had to. One look at the clock on the microwave told me that I didn’t have much time left before I had to go to school. And I was hungry. I walked over to the table and took a seat. Jasper had placed everything I needed on the table. A bowl, a spoon, my favorite brand of cereal, milk and a cup of coffee. There was also a plate with fresh fruit, cut into mouth-sized pieces. This was perfect. “Thanks … for cleaning up and making me breakfast.” I said. “Why don’t you join me? Well … keep me company, while I eat. You know what I mean.”

“You’re welcome. It was the least I could do.” Jasper said over his shoulder. “Give me a sec. I’ll be right with you.” He added, pulling the plug and releasing the water. He dried his hands with the dish towel, and then he took the empty seat to my right. He leaned back, watching with interest while I was fixing my breakfast.

“So what are you going to do today, while I’m at school?” I asked, adding milk to my cereal.

“Well, I have some business in Seattle. I think Charlotte will accompany me on that trip. She has to return her rental car. I don’t know how long it will take, but I hope I’ll be back by the time school ends.” Jasper kept his eyes fixed on my chewing mouth, making me a little uncomfortable. He seemed to sense that and diverted his eyes to the table. “Bella, can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.” I conceded, sounding not very convincing, not even to my own ears.

Jasper lifted his head again, staring straight into my eyes. He looked very serious. “I don’t want to sound condescending or anything. I will ever tell you what to do … not like my brother.” He muttered the last part, but I heard it just fine. I smiled to myself. But then his look turned from serious to pleading. “But please, take care of yourself today. Don’t go into the woods on your own. Not until we’ve figured out this whole thing with the wolves and Laurent. I called Rose last night. She and Emmett are on their way here …” He stopped midsentence, waiting for my reaction to this news.

“Oh, they are coming here … well that’s good, isn’t it?” I commented, sounding rather pathetic. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it.

“Yes, I think it is.” He replied, cocking his eyebrow. “Are you okay with it?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? They are your family. I’m sure they’ve missed you just as much as you’ve missed them. I’m glad that they are coming.”

“But …” Jasper pressed. ‘Damn, he knows me well …’

“Well, I don’t know … Did you tell them about us?” I asked warily, anxious about his answer. What if they didn’t like it?

Jasper moved so fast, pulling me into his lap. “Shhh, darlin’. No need to worry.” He cooed, caressing my back. I loved when he did that. Well let’s face it. I loved whenever, wherever he touched me. I seemed to crave his touch, starving for it actually. And this urge seemed to only increase with each passing moment. ‘How am I going to make it through my day without him?’

“I haven’t told them anything about us.” Jasper assured me. “Not yet. I want to tell them in person, preferably with you by my side. But I’m sure they will be happy to see us both together.” He sounded sincere enough, but his eyes told a different story. He was just as unsure as I was.

“I’m not so sure that they will be pleased to hear that we are an item now.” I voiced my doubts.

Jasper nodded in acknowledgment. “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see. But even if … it doesn’t change a thing. I will never leave you. You know that, right?” He asked, frowning at me.

“I know.” I said, and meaning it.

“I love you, Isabella.” He said, cradling my face.

“I know. And I love you, Jasper Whitlock.” I leaned in, capturing his lips. We shared a soft, lingering kiss. When we broke apart, he leaned back, smiling.

“You know, this is actually one thing I will take care of today.” He said, playing with a lock of my hair. I frowned, not following. He chuckled. “Changing my name … well actually retaking my name more precisely.”

“Oh, well. Good luck with that.” I joked and Jasper laughed. I was curious how he was going to accomplish that task, but I didn’t ask. I took another look at the clock. “Damn, I have to go. I don’t wanna be late.”

Jasper nodded, helping me to get on my feet. In a blink of an eye he cleared the table. “Wow, you are very handy.” I commented. He just chuckled again. Then he took my hand, accompanying me towards the front door. 

Being a gentleman as always, he helped into my coat. “You look really lovely today, Bella. Almost too good to let you out … around other males.” He growled possessively. ‘God, I love it … and hate it …’

I turned around. “Thanks for the compliment. And just so you know I was dressing up just for you.”

My reply seemed to pacify him, somewhat. “That’s good to know.” He said coolly, opening the door. I picked up my bag and followed his lead. He walked me to my truck, opening the driver’s door for me. I dropped my bag on the passenger seat, turning around once more.

Jasper immediately pulled me into a tight embrace, and I went willingly. I could almost taste the bitter flavor of departure on my tongue. “Have a nice day, darlin’. And when I get back, I’ll show you how much I enjoy your outfit.” He promised in a husky voice. Before I could reply something, he planted a toe curling kiss on my mouth. God, he was so good at this. I was gasping for air in no time. When he released me, I was a bit unsteady on my feet. I really wanted to wipe the smug expression off his face, but I didn’t know how.

Instead I jumped into the vehicle. “Later.” I said casually, closing the door behind me. I put my key into the ignition and started the car. I waved goodbye, trying to smile despite the ache in my chest that was starting to get stronger by the second. And I hadn’t even left the driveway yet.

I knew Jasper felt the same. I could see it in his eyes. But we both knew we had no other choice … for now, so we tried to put up a brave front. I watched Jasper through the rear mirror, as I drove off. He stood there like a statue, looking lost, desperate, almost like he was on the verge on following me. I couldn’t bare the sight, diverting my eyes to the front thus avoiding his forlorn look.

It was probably for the best anyway, with me being only human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a tease :-)


	21. Back to Real Life Part 1

Jasper POV

 

I was frozen in place, watching Bella’s truck leave the driveway. Our eyes met once more through the rear mirror, before she returned her gaze back to the front, concentrating on the matter at hand – driving.

Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to go after her. But I knew I shouldn’t, better yet that I couldn’t. Even though Bella was the most important thing to me now I knew that I couldn’t spend every minute of the day with her. I had plans today, important plans. And Bella had school.

‘Why did I allow her to leave in that outfit?’ I groaned. ‘Because I’m not Edward …’

The mere thought of all the boys in school drooling over my woman today – Mike Newton being on the top of that list – made by venom boil. Bella probably wasn’t going notice it. But even if, I knew Bella would never respond to any advances. Still … I didn’t like the idea of her being ogled and fantasized about.

‘Possessive much? Yeah, and proud of it! And Bella will get used to it …’

I stayed until I couldn’t see her truck any longer. Then I finally made my way back to the Cullen mansion through the woods. Peter and Charlotte were already waiting impatiently for my return. They sat on the couch in a lover’s embrace. I sighed. I envied them for being able to spend every single minute with each other. I longed for the day I would be able to do the same with Bella.

“Finally … Daddy is home.” Peter greeted me, using a childlike tone. I rolled my eyes at him. “What? You told us to stay put, like a human Dad telling his children that they are grounded …” He reasoned, smirking like an idiot.

“Whatever makes you feel better …” I grumbled, but otherwise ignoring his comment. I truly wasn’t in the mood for his occasionally twisted but mostly immature sense of humor. Sometimes he was even worse than Emmett. And that was saying something.

‘If he decides to push this issue further, I’ll show him what a father does to naughty children …’ I thought, wickedly.

Peter wasn’t so far from the truth, though. I was his creator and that was pretty close to the term ‘father’. But I’ve never acted like one. We thought of each other as brothers, not father and son. And I would like to keep it that way.

“I’ll be back in a minute. I really need a shower. And then we can go.” I turned around, quickly making my escape to the bathroom on the second floor, across the hall from my study.

“Did you finally get some? Well, good for you, bro. It was about time.” He yelled after me, snickering. Peter knew exactly that I didn’t have sex with Bella last night. He would have been able to smell it. And above all I would have been in a better mood. But as it was, my dear brother simply loved it to mock me, just like Emmett had done with Edward so many times. But in contrast to my virgin brother I had another reason to stall. ‘The right timing …’

A loud thud thundered through the house. “Ouch, what was that for, woman?” I heard Peter exclaim.

“Like you don’t know.” Char chided, smacking him again. I chuckled under my breath. Rose and Char were so much alike, as were Emmett and Peter … and not just in regards to certain elements in their relationships.

There was no doubt that I wanted Bella, very much so. And once I’d had her, showering would be the last thing on my mind. I would want to smell like her for days. Of course I would want her to do the same, but considering that she was still human … well, I doubted that she would agree to any such proposal.

Nevertheless, I was pretty sure I would be able to keep myself in check when we actually did the deed. From personal experience I knew how fragile human women could be. She wouldn’t be the first human I’d have sex with, but the first one I’d make love to.

I could still hear them bantering downstairs, but I tuned them out as best as I could. Unfortunately, I was still able to sense the emotional shift from annoyance and anger to lust. It was classic Peter-Char-behavior. First fighting, and then having a lot of angry make-up sex. Another thing they had in common with my other siblings.

I quickly discarded all my clothes and stepped into the shower. I turned the hot water to its full capacity, groaning in pleasure at the first contact. It was a nice feeling, like fire on ice, but it still had nothing on the feeling of Bella’s soft and warm skin on mine.

Peter’s little comment hadn’t missed its (intended) target. It had brought all the memories from last night, and this morning, back to the forefront of my mind. And the vibes I was getting from the two vampires downstairs right now weren’t helpful either. Peter was just lucky I hadn’t snapped before. I had been, and still was very tense. I missed Bella like crazy, and on top of that I was extremely sexually frustrated.

Of course, it wasn’t Bella’s fault. Well maybe a little bit, what with her little stunt, coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. That memory was going to be seared into my mind’s eye forever. Even without an unsuspected, but undoubtedly pleasant surprise like that, Bella had no problem whatsoever to arouse me.

I’d been semi-hard all night, not to mention the three times my cock had stood up to full attention before and after that, and yet I still had denied myself any form of release. 

What was wrong with me? Why I did stop from taking it further? She wanted me, of that I was certain. Maybe I should have just given in?

‘No, you did the right thing … the timing wasn’t right …’

Admittedly, I was a little surprised, but very glad to see her behaving so uninhibited, so carefree. I shuddered in delight remembering Bella’s enthusiasm and curiosity, her finger caressing the bare skin on my back, following the patterns of my scars. For the first time ever I’d purred because of someone’s touch. It was a natural response in our kind. Alice had never managed to trigger such a reaction in me.

‘Interesting detail … but old news at that time …’

I closed my eyes, completely succumbing to the feeling of the hot water running over my naked body. I blindly reached for the shower gel, and slowly began to soap my body. I moaned, when my hands lightly grazed over my growing erection. I really needed some form of relief.

The image of Bella standing in front of me in nothing but a towel reappeared again behind my closed eyes … easily fueling my vivid imagination. I just wished she could be right here with me. But as it was, I was alone with nothing but my fantasies. For now they would have to suffice …

 

\+ + +

 

Bella lets the fluffy white towel slip slowly but deliberately, smiling coyly as she exposes herself to me. I grin at her, and she blushes, but only slightly. She knows what she is doing to me. A second later I am finally able to see the whole beauty of her naked body. She is perfect, slim, but still curved in just the right places. Her breasts are round and just the perfect size, not too small, and not too big either, just a handful … my hands full. Her nipples are already erect, begging to be licked and bitten.

I continue to devour her with my eyes, itching to touch, to taste every inch of her luscious body. But I do not make a move … yet.

 

\+ + +

 

I placed one hand against the shower walls, steadying myself. Not that it was really necessary, but still. I liked the posture. The other one was tightly wrapped around my throbbing erection, moving up and down in a low, but steady rhythm. Even though I was literally aching for release, I still didn’t want to rush it. Sure, from time to time I needed a quick relief, but generally I preferred to draw it out, savor each and every moment. Just like now. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, fully engaged in my fantasy …

 

\+ + +

 

“Can I join you?” She asks, purring seductively. Without waiting for my answer – like I would say no to such an appealing offer in my dreams or in real life – she steps into the shower. I finally snap, unable to hold back any longer. I reach out for her, pulling her swiftly into my arms. I press my entire body against hers, letting her feel how much her presence affects me. We both moan loudly at the sensation of our bare skin touching. Her tiny hands wander over my body, setting it on fire. I reciprocate at once, exploring every inch of her. I lean down, kissing her with all the passion and love I feel for her. Our tongues battle for dominance. Then her hand finally reaches the one place I need her the most …

“Hmm, Jasper … need some help with this?” She whispers into my ear, nibbling on my ear lobe. I nearly lose it, when she bites down harder.

I can still detect some coyness underneath all the bravado, but that’s alright. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Bella is wary at first, unsure how to touch me, but curious … and very eager. Encouraged by my evident response to her touch, she gets bolder, trying out a few things before she figures out what pleases me the most … 

 

\+ + +

 

My whole body began to tremble uncontrollably, and I stroked myself faster, harder, envisioning Bella’s hand on me instead of my own. I could feel the familiar, long missed tightening in my lower abdomen, announcing the imminent approach of my orgasm. It only took three more firm strokes, and then I exploded.

“Urgh … Isabella …” I moaned, almost growled, as I came hard in my hand. I shot my load against the shower wall, and wave after wave of raw pleasure rocked through my body, making me feel (almost) alive. I’d almost forgotten who wonderful this sensation could be. It really had been too long since I’d experienced this kind of pleasure. To tell the truth, that orgasm had been way more powerful then I was used to, almost making my knees buckle. I was pretty sure it wasn’t because of my long period of abstinence, but because of my angel.

‘Imagine how it will be when Bella is actually doing the deed …’ I reminded myself, with a sly smirk on my face. ‘I can hardly wait to find out … it’s probably good though that I took care of business just now … this way I’m prepared of what to expect … maybe … hopefully … we’ll see …’

After my little dirty but completely necessary indulgence I quickly finished my shower, and then I went into my old bedroom to find some fresh clothes. I made a mental note to clean out the room later that day. I really didn’t want to come in here ever again. That part of my life was over, and I didn’t need any reminders … visual or otherwise. Not if I could help it.

I pulled on some worn-out leather pants, grinning. I was sure Bella would like seeing me in these, as much as I liked seeing her in the skirt today. It was all about the easier access.

‘Me and my dirty mind …’ I chuckled, adding a simple black shirt to complete my outfit for the day. It was casual and comfortable, just like I loved it. And I certainly didn’t need to dress up to see my lawyer, especially since this was far from an ‘official’ visit.

After making sure I had everything I needed on me, I finally made my way downstairs again. I was prepared for some more taunting, but Peter refrained from making another cynical comment this time, just shooting me a dirty look. From the looks of it, they both had a nice time as well. Peter’s hair was disheveled, and Charlotte’s shirt was missing a button.

‘Well, glad to be of service …’ I thought, taking a seat on the chair across from them. I didn’t beat around the bush, quickly filling them in on everything I’d found out last night during my long talk with Bella. Well, at least the official version. Needless to say, I didn’t tell them anything about our little share-time. That was just between me and her.

Peter and Char didn’t comment on the werewolf issue, understandably though, since I didn’t have enough information to go with. That problem could be dealt with later on, when Rosalie and Emmett would be here. I estimated that by this time tomorrow my (true) family was finally back together. Considering their bond, it wasn’t really a surprise that Peter and Char were looking forward to Rose’s and Emmett’s arrival. And as much as I still dreaded their reaction concerning my relationship with Bella, I too was very happy to welcome them back into my life.

Being on a tight schedule, we all got up. Peter agreed to stay behind and get the necessary equipment to repair the damaged wall. Naturally he insisted that we both do the work together. “It was as much my fault as it was yours.” I couldn’t agree more.

Minutes later we all departed. While Peter took his truck to buy the material we needed, Charlotte and I rode together in her rented car to Seattle. She had plans to return the car and look for a new one at one of the many dealerships around the city, while I was doing my business with J. Jenks.

Of course, she had offered to go with me, but I’d declined. Not that it would be a problem. Jenks knew Charlotte and Peter. They might not have used his particular service as many times as any of the Cullens, but often enough. They usually stayed away from the human population, and therefore they were hardly in need of new papers, apart from the usual update of their driver’s licenses.

I stared out the window, watching the scenery flew by. My mind was far, far away … with my beautiful angel. I wondered how Bella was doing, cursing myself for not giving her my cell number. How could I forget such a simple thing like exchanging phone numbers? But on the other hand, it was probably better this way. I probably would be checking up on her, constantly, and I was sure that some part of her wouldn’t like that very much. Sure, I wouldn’t do that to control her. I wasn’t Edward. But I dearly missed her, and I just longed to hear her voice.

Charlotte suddenly broke the silence between us. “It will get better. I promise.” Her voice was soft and empathetic.

I turned my head to face her. Her eyes were a deep brown almost black color today. She wore contacts, thus allowing her to walk around freely, and interact with humans … at least a couple of hours until the venom would disintegrate them. Wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day might be a little suspicious. “What?”

“The pain.” She said, smiling knowingly.

I was completely lost. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, honey. Not only are you projecting your feelings right now, but it’s written all over your face. You miss her.” She clarified.

“Of course, I miss her.” I snapped, glaring at her.

Charlotte held one hand up in defense, glaring back at me. I saw a flicker of pain in her eyes, but I mostly felt her irritation. “Hold your horses, Jasper. I didn’t mean to piss you off or anything. But I think it is crucial to make you aware of this. For one you don’t seem to realize what you’re doing. And more importantly I can’t handle this extra burden right now … because it’s hard enough to deal with my own.” She said with a certain edge in her tone of voice. I didn’t know if it was because of my rude reaction, or because of my pain-sharing. In the end the reason didn’t matter. She had every right to be upset with me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” I apologized sincerely. She had her eyes back on the road, almost like she was avoiding me. But she was probably just waiting for me to continue. “You feel it, too? My pain of not being with Bella … I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Seems like my empathic abilities are completely useless …” I huffed, slumping back into the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car.

Charlotte laughed softly. “I wouldn’t say they, or you, are useless, just out off balance. But no one blames you for anything. We all just want to help you … Bella, Peter and myself. You’ve been through a lot … so many changes in such a short time. And you know how our kind responds to those.” She said, sparing me a significant look. “But as far as I’m concerned you are handling it far better than anyone else would in your situation, especially with the extra burden of your gift. Just give it some time and you will be back to your ‘normal’ self … eventually.” She sounded very sure, but I had my doubts.

“Normal? Yeah right.” I snorted. I had no idea what or who the real me was. The person I had been with Alice? The person I had been with Maria? Or was I someone else entirely? I shook my head, taking in several deep breaths, in order to center myself. “But thanks anyway, for your words of confidence and your help, Char.”

“Anytime, big brother.” She said, patting my arm reassuringly. Charlotte smiled at me, and I returned the gesture.

“So … it will get better?” I pressed. It was more of a plea than actually a question. I hoped for reassurance, because right now this ache I was feeling in my chest seemed more than I could manage … at least on a long term basis. Was Bella experiencing the same thing right now?

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, before answering my question. “Yes … well sort of. I don’t want to sugarcoat the truth, just to make you feel better. It’s more like you get used to this feeling, learning to deal with it. Most of the times I can suppress it.” She explained, winking at me. “But it will take some time, some practice … for you and Bella … to get the hang of things.” She sounded a little sad at the end, but at the same time it was obvious that she tried to comfort me.

I only nodded in response. My mind was busy processing all the information she’d just given me. It was very hard, to say the least. I felt so consumed by my own fears, by my pain, to acknowledge anything else. It made me sick to my stomach that according to Charlotte my sweet angel was going through the same thing. I didn’t like it, mostly because she wouldn’t understand the reason behind this feeling. It was more than just missing the company of a dear friend or a family member. It burned deep inside, almost making my entire body ache. I felt a constant pull in the opposite direction, towards Forks, towards my Isabella. And the fact that she had to get through this without me, without the information I had, made me feel even worse.

I realized that I really needed to fill her in on the whole ‘mate’ issue, sooner rather than later. At this moment I wanted nothing more than to call her, making sure she was fine. I couldn’t bear the knowledge that she was in pain and that there was nothing I could do about it.

Charlotte seemed to sense my growing anxiety. “She’ll be alright. She is exceptionally strong … for a human.” She assured me, patting my arm again. It wasn’t enough to reassure me, but it would have to do for the moment. For a split of a second I wondered if the fact that Bella was still human, would make a difference. But I was pretty sure that it didn’t. She already felt everything so strongly.

‘Not helping … just a few more hours and then I’ll see her again … feel her again …’ I reminded myself. That thought gave me some peace.

I drew in a ragged breath. “Well … let’s hope that my being an empath won’t stand in the way.” I sighed, diverting my gaze back outside the side window.

 

\+ + +

 

Charlotte dropped me off in the centre of city, right in front of one of the tall business building, where J. Jenks’ official office was located. Fortunately the day was overcast. Therefore it would be safe for us to be outside during daytime hours. It certainly made things a little easier. Without the aid of my former wife’s special ability, we had to rely on the human weather forecast. But so far it seemed to be working just fine.

“I’ll call you when I’m done.” I told Charlotte as I was leaving the car. I didn’t plan to draw out this part of my agenda longer than necessary.

“Have fun!” She replied, winking mischievously. Then she waved once, and drove off.

I barely made any personal contact with Jenks in the past. Usually I just called or emailed him, giving him instructions and transferring the money onto his account, and he mailed me the finished documents. I didn’t call him in advance and notify him of my personal visit, but I was sure it wasn’t necessary. I knew that even if he was out the office, he would be back as soon as humanly possible. After all, I was one of his best customers, so to speak, and he would not dare to let me wait.

He feared me. I thought it helpful to keep it that way, that’s why I purposely refrained from using my power, to calm him down or reassure him. People like him worked best under pressure. It made him reliable.

Of course he didn’t know what we were. But I knew he suspected that we were anything but human. But he wasn’t a fool, and like any other human (with the sole exception of Bella, of course) he had a healthy sense of self-preservation, and didn’t ask any unpleasant questions that would get him into trouble. He was very professional.

Jenks’ office was located on the fifteenth floor. I chose to use the elevator, even though I would quicker taking the steps. But it was important to keep up appearances, especially around this many humans.

A young blond woman sat at the front desk. She was around twenty five. I couldn’t remember her being here the last time, but then again it has been a couple of years since I’d paid Jenks a personal visit. Going by her age she was still in school back then. Alerted by my entrance the blonde looked up from her paper work, gasping audibly. I was immediately assaulted by a wave of lust.

‘Here we go again …’ I sighed, mentally rolling my eyes. I tried my best to ignore her. Even with my gift off balance, as Charlotte had put it nicely, I was able to pick up some of woman’s emotions. Curiosity and awe were the most prominent, apart from the obvious lust of course.

“Wh … what can I do for you?” She stammered, practically drooling. I wanted to growl at her, to put her in her place. Bella was the only one allowed to look at me that way. But I thought better of it.

“I’m here to see Jenks.” I said, using my all-business voice, sounding rather annoyed. And I was. Annoyed and irritated.

“Do you have an appointment?” She asked, trying her best to be polite, acting all professional by checking her calendar.

“No, I don’t need one. I never do. Just tell him Jasper is here to speak to him.”

She was clearly taken aback by my demanding tone, and quite confused that I only provided my first name. But Jenks just knew me as Mr. Jasper, not Mr. Hale or Mr. Whitlock. And I was probably one of the few who didn’t make appointments to see her boss.

“Alright.” She said, pushing her chair back and getting up. She was still confused but professional enough to forget about her qualms. I watched her walking over to the second door. She knocked once.

“Come in.” I heard Jenks’ familiar deep voice answer.

She spared me a last fleeting look, before walking into the other room and closing the door behind her. I grinned. Of course, she had no idea that I would still be able to hear every word that was spoken in the other room.

“There is a blonde man outside. He doesn’t have an appointment.” The young woman explained, awkwardly.

“And? You know what to do.” Jenks replied curtly. I could feel his disappointment. For a split second I felt bad for her, but the sympathetic feeling was gone just as fast as it had appeared. ‘When did I become such a pussy? Caring about strangers …’

“He said his name is Jasper.” She added in defense.

Jenks’ reaction to my name was immediate and completely unsurprising. Racing heartbeat, accelerated breathing and the pungent smell of sweat. “Send him in. Right now.” He instructed, sounding very anxious. I grinned in anticipation.

‘This will be fun.’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Charlotte POV

 

My new ride was a used, two year old Mercedes, black and sleek. I was really lucky to find something with dark tainted windows on such short notice. Of course, I knew Peter would give me grieve about my choice, but I didn’t care. I fell in love with the car on first sight and he should be able to relate to that feeling …

Jasper hadn’t called yet, but seeing as already 2 hours had gone by, I estimated it was time to make my way back to Jenks’ office to pick him up. I spotted him right away, sitting on the steps, waiting for me. From his posture I knew immediately that something was off. He looked … defeated.

I honked once, unlocking the passenger door. He looked up, and sighed. A second later he sat beside me, and we drove off. I noticed him clutching a thick envelope.

“What happened?” I asked, cautiously, expecting him to just ignore me. Anger and disappointment were rolling of him, polluting the atmosphere around us. Instead of answering my question, he simply tossed the envelope in my lap. Although it wasn’t really necessary I pulled over, cutting off the engine.

“Go ahead, read it.” He said curtly, looking outside the side window.

I opened the envelope and pulled out a stack of papers. I quickly scanned them, enough to get the cliff-notes. “That bitch!” I cursed under my breath.

My grip tightened around the divorce papers. Alice must have sent them to Jenks, guessing that at some point Jasper would make contact with him. The date on the paper told me that the pixie had sent them to Jenks just a month after they’d split. She hadn’t given him time to cool down and go and find her, to talk this out. I stuffed the papers back into the envelope, tossing it onto the backseat.

“Well, at least that’s one less thing you have to worry about. Now you are officially a free man.” I concluded, hoping to cheer him up a bit.

“Yeah, at least there is that.” He huffed, running his fingers through his blond locks. “But I don’t wanna talk about this right now. So can we please change the subject?” He pleaded.

“Sure, honey. Did you get everything else in order?” I asked.

“Yes, I’m finally a Whitlock again.” He sounded truly elated by that fact. Retaking his name might have seemed just a simply thing to an outsider, but to him – not to mention to Peter and me – it meant the world. We were back being a family, name and all.

“So, what do want to do now? Shopping?” I suggested, starting the car again.

Jasper thought about my proposal for a moment. “Well, I think I might be in need for a bed … that couch of mine isn’t working so well.” He said, grinning. Although I knew that a bed wasn’t really a necessity for us, I could see his point.

“For you or for Bella?” I elbowed him.

He laughed. “I guess for both of us.”

I didn’t say anything inappropriate. I wasn’t like my mate, knowing exactly when to stop teasing.

“Well, I don’t really think that shopping for that piece of furniture is actually necessary. I checked the rooms while you were gone … with two exceptions, of course.” No power in this world would make me go into Alice’s or Edward’s room on my own free will. I was pretty sure that Jasper knew that. “They are all still partially furnished. The only things they’ve seem to have taken when they left are books, clothes and personal items.

“Remember that small room across Carlisle’s and Esme’s room?” I said, with a smile in my voice. Of course, he would remember, we vampires didn’t forget anything, which sometimes was more like a burden than a blessing. “There is a queen size bed in there. I think we can easily put it in your room.” I proposed. I still believed that this would be a temporary solution, us staying in Forks. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it there, or God forbid, that I had anything against Bella, far from it actually, but somehow I felt compelled to leave this town sooner rather than later. In my opinion this place was cursed, tainted with too many bad memories.

“One of the guest rooms … sure I remember.” He grumbled, more in thought than in irritation. “I guess we can just remove my couch … yeah, that might work.”

“Okay, that’s settled then. Anything else, you need? Clothes, shoes …” Or condoms, I added in my mind, giggling.

“Nah, I’m good.” He declined, apparently not picking up on my jabbing mood, or simply ignoring it. “Let’s just go home.”

I didn’t like the term he used, but refrained from making any comment. “Alright, as you wish.” I said, directing the car straight towards the interstate leading to Forks.

I might have sounded nonchalant, but I felt anything but. I could almost taste the relief in the air surrounding us. We both couldn’t wait to see our mates again.


	22. Back to Real Life Part 2

Bella POV

 

I drove my truck down the familiar road to school. I was more than glad that in a couple months from now this would all be over. I was going to graduate high school in June – finally.

It wasn’t that I hated school or something, but I didn’t really like going there either. It had more to do with the people than school itself. I’ve always been a good student. Most classes were easy to manage. I did my homework on time, and I barely had the need to study extensively for any class, with the sole exception of calculus of course. But who could blame me, that subject just sucked.

Back in Phoenix I’d mostly kept to myself, too. Of course, I had a couple of friends, but I surely didn’t belong to any of those typical groups – popular or non-popular. It had been easier to blend in since the school there was at least three times bigger than this one. Things here in Forks were far from simple. Staying in the background wasn’t an option. Right from the first day, everybody knew who I was, and they had been all so excited about my arrival.

‘Weirdos. Like I am some sort of celebrity …’

Getting all this unwanted attention was more than I could handle at first … well actually it still was. I hated being the focal point of any attention – good or bad. My association with the Cullens didn’t make things easier, but at the time I hadn’t really cared, because I’d been far too distracted to notice anything but Edward. I knew most of the girls in my grade had been jealous that I – the new girl – had managed to ensnare the only single Cullen. The reaction of the boys were almost worse, especially Mike’s. He clearly detested Edward, not only for the obvious reason. But I guessed it was quite understandable. The Cullen children were outcasts, and for good reason.

Being around my classmates had been, and still was, very difficult after I’d discovered the truth about the Cullens. It almost felt like I had to play a role, instead of being myself. I had literally proof that there was more in this world than just us humans and I had to keep that to myself, keep it a secret. I did that willingly, though. Who would have believed me anyways?

All in all, things had been easier when the Cullens had been still around, which was kind of odd, but true nonetheless. Before than I didn’t make much of an effort to try and fit in with the others (of my kind). But after the Cullen’s sudden departure I had no choice but to reconcile with some of my classmates, since I didn’t want to become a total loner.

The first few weeks had been hard, because I’d hardly talked about anything to anyone. Of course, I’d noticed the gossip. How could I not. It was impossible not to notice it. Jessica and Lauren didn’t hold back much, enjoying themselves a little too much for my taste. I did my best to ignore them. If it weren’t for Angela constant support and patience, I would have snapped at some point, giving them a piece of my mind.

I liked Angela from the very start. She was shy and kind, a pure and gentle soul. Jessica seemed like a nice person too, at first, but it soon turned out to be nothing more than a façade. She was very competitive, in more than one area. Sometimes she said one thing, but meant something else entirely. It took me some time to figure that out, but since then I tried my best to stay away from her. Since she hung out with Lauren a lot, a girl I couldn’t stand at all (and the feeling was mutual), it wasn’t that hard to accomplish.

I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do after finishing my high school education. Sure, I’d applied to some colleges, but primarily to appease my father. A couple of days ago, before Jasper’s return, I hadn’t had a problem with that plan whatsoever. Going to college, leaving this place and all the dreadful memories behind, seemed like the perfect (and only) chance I had to start a new era of my life. I would go to college, get my degree in English or Literature, and move on with my human life, just like Edward wanted me to.

But now in only two days everything has changed. I had another option, one that I hadn’t allowed myself to hope for after the disappearance of my vampire family. Though, Jasper and I hadn’t had the chance yet to talk about the future, I had a feeling that he – unlike like his brother – wasn’t opposed to the idea of me becoming a vampire. If anything, I was sure, that he would prefer turning me sooner rather than later, because he had no plans to let me go ever, no matter what.

Even though it’s been only a few minutes since I left him, I already missed Jasper like crazy. This feeling of loss was totally different from the one I’d experienced with Edward. It wasn’t like I was scared that I wouldn’t see him again, that he would leave me. No, there was this constant pull, telling me that I should be somewhere else, that school wasn’t the place I should be right now. My entire being craved Jasper, his company and his touch. But I knew that I couldn’t leave. I had responsibilities to uphold, at least for now.

‘It’s just a few hours …’ I told myself, sighing.

I pulled into the last open parking space, shutting off the engine. I grabbed my back bag and jumped out of the truck. As always Angela was waiting for me by the main entrance. Unfortunately, hers and Ben’s relationship hadn’t survived the summer either, something about insurmountable discrepancies. Which sounded very familiar, but at least she hadn’t reacted like me, falling apart and all that shit. Maybe that was just me or the vampire-human thing, who knew.

“Hey, Angela. How was your weekend?” I greeted my friend, sounding rather cheerful. But then again I was in a really good mood, apart from the present ache in my chest, which I tried my best to ignore.

Angela stared at me for a moment, before she broke out in laughter. “Apparently mine wasn’t as good as yours.” She commented with a knowing look. “You are practically glowing, girl. What the hell happened?” She was clearly curious, but not nosy. I’d almost forgotten how perceptive Angela could be, although today my good mood was kinda hard to miss.

“Nothing much.” I replied with a shrug. “I just had a good time, that’s all.” I really wanted to tell her everything. Not about the vampire part of the story, of course, but about Jasper. But I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t, right?

“If you say so.” She said. I knew she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t push for any information, which was only part of the reason why I liked hanging out with her. Jessica would have bombarded me with endless questions, until I would finally give in. Angela wasn’t like that. She was cleverer than asking straight questions, which made her even more devious … but in a good way.

“Let’s go or we gonna be late.” I said, ignoring her jibe. Angela chuckled, but followed me without saying another word. I had a feeling that she was thinking about the best approach to ask me about my sudden change in behavior. And strangely enough, it didn’t cause me to panic. If there was one human I would confide in, it was Angela. But I knew I couldn’t. Or rather I shouldn’t. Not without putting more than one life at stake.

I took in a deep breath, bracing myself. ‘This is going to be a very long day …’

 

\+ + +

 

The first three periods went by fast. With the graduation so close on the horizon, the teachers kept a tight schedule, for which I was very glad, especially today. It kept my mind busy, and prevented me from daydreaming (too much) about Jasper. The weird feeling in my chest was still there, but I was kinda getting used to it. As long as I wasn’t concentrating on the ache, it was easier to ignore. But the feeling was only dampened, it never went away completely.

When I got to the cafeteria for lunch, there was already a line forming at the food counter. I quickly made my choice, only a chicken sandwich and a bottle of water, since I wasn’t that hungry. This uncanny feeling in my chest was clearly tempering with my appetite.

Angela and I usually sat alone at the far corner of the cafeteria, at one of the smaller tables. On rare occasion we had no other choice but to join Jessica and her group of cronies, endure their endless chitchat about clothes or boys or Prom, things that held no real interest for Angela or me. And it looked like that today was going to be just a day like that. All tables were taken. All but one.

The only table that always stayed vacant was the one the Cullens used to occupy. It was pretty hilarious that no one dared to sit at that table, like it was still haunted by the mere memories of its former occupants. Before today I hadn’t considered sitting there an option either, for all the same – and yet somehow different – reasons. When I was still with Edward I sat there every day. But after he and his family had left, I couldn’t bear to even look at the table. An inanimate object causing pain by barely looking at it was truly pitiful, but probably pretty normal for a human girl my age.

‘Time to grow up …’ I decided, making my way straight over to said table. It didn’t escape my notice that my bold act earned me some whispers and a lot of stares. But I paid no attention to either. ‘Let them talk … I don’t care … not anymore …’

When Angela entered the cafeteria, she immediately scanned the room for me. Naturally, she was a little startled at first when she spotted me sitting at the “Cullen” table, but after getting her food, she eagerly joined me.

“This is a nice table.” She commented, with a smile in her voice. She was clearly enjoying this little venture as much as I. But I could also see that she was just as confused as the rest of my classmates.

“Yes it is.” I agreed, chewing on my sandwich. It wasn’t very good. But then again what did I expect? It was school food.

For a few minutes we sat there, eating our lunch in silence, but it quickly turned from comfortable to awkward. I knew what was coming, but that didn’t mean I was prepared.

“Bella, what’s going on with you today?” Angela asked, trying to hide her curiosity, but failing miserably. She was practically buzzing with it. She picked at the remains of her salad, waiting patiently for me to answer her question. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I deflected, avoiding her probing gaze.

“Bella.” My friend chided. “I’m not a fool and I’m not blind … and neither are the others here, especially the boys.” Angela chuckled under her breath. “You are wearing a skirt to school for the first time ever. I wouldn’t have given it much thought if it weren’t for the sparkle of sheer happiness in your eyes. Something must have happened between Friday and today. You know I respect your privacy, but I thought we were friends.” She complained, pouting.

‘Damn her for pulling out the guilt card.’

I diverted my gaze down to my tray, contemplating my options. I was a terrible liar, barely able to fool anyone … well not unless it was a life and death situation. And even then I barely succeeded. But more importantly I didn’t want to lie to my only (human) friend. I wanted, no needed someone else to talk to apart from my supernatural friends … or my parents. I was a teenage girl after all, and talking about these things to your girlfriend was only natural, right?

“You met someone.” She blurted out, fortunately not loud enough to draw anybody’s attention other than mine.

I stared at Angela in astonishment. She was just as perceptive as me sometimes. “Well, I didn’t meet someone new …” I began, keeping my voice low.

Angela held up her hand, stopping me. “Wait. Don’t tell me that HE is back.” By the appalled tone in her voice it was obvious that she was talking about Edward. Although she didn’t know every detail about the reason behind our breakup, she truly detested him for leaving like that.

Since she had been there for me, helping me through my dark hours with her endless amount of patience, I knew that I owed her the truth, even if it would only be the abridged version.

I shook my head, cringing. “No, Edward is not back. I certainly wouldn’t be happy, if he was.”

Angela seemed to be appeased by both my reaction and my response. “Alright … then who is it?” She pressed, carefully.

“Jasper.” I said, probably grinning like an idiot.

She frowned. “Jasper, who? Jasper Hale … Edward’s brother?” She gaped at me, with her eyes wide open, trying to process the information. I just nodded in answer. She swallowed hard. “And you and him …” I nodded again. “Wow!”

“You have no idea.” I sighed deeply, thinking of Jasper’s gentle, soft, yet sometimes demanding kisses. God, I missed him.

“No, I don’t. Now, spill!” She demanded, leaning across the table. I giggled at her enthusiasm.

 

\+ + +

 

Of course I only provided Angela with the cliff notes … that Jasper had split from the family, that he’d come here to pick up some stuff he left behind, and that we’d sort of ran into each other by accident on Saturday. I told her that we had spent the entire weekend catching up, and that we had become closer than we’d been before. I didn’t need to tell her that I’d fallen for Edward’s brother, because it was kinda obvious by now. She didn’t ask for any details, probably sensing my reluctance to share more than I already had.

But even so I held back a lot of vital information, she already knew more than anybody else, even my parents. Of course the big secret was still safe with me. I would never put her in harm’s way.

Angela stayed calm and quiet throughout the entire time, just listening and processing all the information. It was easy to tell that she was intrigued, but at the same time disturbed by the fact that Alice and Jasper had split as well. It has never been a secret that all the Cullen siblings were in fact couples. If anything that fact only added to the mystery they presented, just another reason, why my classmates had never made an attempt to get to know them. Jessica had called it a sick perversion once, but in truth she was just jealous and disappointed … jealous of what they had and disappointed that she didn’t get a chance with Edward.

When the bell rang, announcing the end of lunch hour, we both stood up at the same time, quickly getting rid of our trays. Before we were going our separate ways, Angela pulled me aside. She looked rather worried all of the sudden.

“I can see that you’re happy, Bella. And I’m glad for you, believe me, I truly am. You deserve this, more than anybody. But please, do me and yourself a favor. Take it slow, whatever this is between you and Jasper. I’m just concerned, that’s all. You got hurt big time the last time, and I couldn’t bear seeing you go through it once again.”

“I will. I promise.” I hurried to appease her, almost choking on the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. Her words affected me more than she even realized. In fact, I had a hard time to fight back my tears. I’ve always known she was compassionate, and probably the best human friend anyone could have. I still felt bad for treating her the way I had, back in my dark days. I knew she’d forgiven me, but I still felt the need to make it up to her … somehow, someway.

Angela just nodded, smiling at me. I hugged her briefly but passionately. “Thank you, Angela. I truly appreciate your concern.”

“No problem.” She shrugged. “What are friends for, right?”

After sharing one last, meaningful look, we went our separate ways.

 

\+ + +

 

The rest of the day went by quickly. Even Gym went better than I could have hoped for. We’d just started with badminton the week before, and today I actually managed to hit the birdie twice. Yeah, me! Maybe all this bottled-up happiness had some unforeseen side effects. But still, after an excruciating hour of enduring Mike’s constant encouragement, I was more than glad that the day was finally over. Who was he kidding anyway? I had no potential at all. Hitting the birdie was nothing but luck, as far as I was concerned. Sports in general held no interest for me. In my opinion gym was only a way to torture me, displaying my incompetence.

After class I went to change as quickly as humanly possible. The ache in my chest was at its peak. Whatever technique helped dampening the intensity of the pain before didn’t seem to work anymore. I really needed to see Jasper. I knew he was the only antidote.

I just left the Gym, when Mike caught up with me. “Hey, Bella, wait up a second!”

I groaned, but stopped anyway, turning around slowly. Mike came to a sudden halt right in front of me.

“What’s up, Mike?” I asked, trying my best to sound polite, but I was sure that my demeanor was saying something else entirely.

“Oh, nothing much …” He replied, slightly out of breath. I didn’t have time for this, whatever it was that he wanted from me.

“Okay then …” I was about to walk away from him, when he caught my arm, stopping me. I flinched, actually flinched. It felt like his touch burned me. When he saw my reaction, he dropped his hand at once, blushing furiously.

“Sorry, Bella.” Mike muttered, sounding both embarrassed and confused by my reaction. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I … I … just …”

“Spit it out, Newton.” I demanded harshly, surprising myself as much as him. What was wrong with me? I’ve never been this openly mean to anybody.

Mike recoiled visibly, looking at his feet. Avoiding my still annoyed gaze, he responded anyway. “I just wanted to ask you something.” He took in a ragged breath, lifting his head. I could still detect confusion in his eyes, but also determination. “Do you … do you want to go out with me? On Friday maybe …”

I really shouldn’t have been surprised. This was his tenth attempt to ask me out, since Edward had left. What was it with this guy? Was he some sucker for rejection? Once apparently wasn’t enough. What could I do to make him see the light?

“Mike …” I began, not even trying to keep my frustration from showing in my voice.

“Who is that?” Mike suddenly asked, glancing over my shoulder. I turned around, following his gaze. Right there in the middle of the almost empty parking lot stood a tall man, leaning casually against the hood of my truck, completely dressed in black with sunglasses on a rainy day.

‘Oh crap! What is he doing here?’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Peter POV

 

I just couldn’t help myself. I had to tease Jasper when he came home this morning. It was easy to tell that he wasn’t in the best mood. And of course I knew that he and Bella hadn’t taken their relationship to the next step. Somewhat understandable though, with all the drama …

But my brother actually needed to get laid … and soon. I couldn’t imagine going without sex for more than three days … even if it was only a blow job. But how long has it been for him? Almost six months. No wonder he had trouble to control himself and his gift. He needed some sort of outlet. And from what I could tell, Bella could use some too. Even though I was pretty sure she was still untouched, so she couldn’t actually know what she was missing.

‘Lucky bastard …’ I thought. I truly envied Jasper. In all my life I’d never had the opportunity to have sex with a virgin.

But aside from the ever increasing sexual tension between Bella and Jasper, it was obvious how close and dependent on each other they both had become. I knew from my own experience that their bond would only strengthen after mating.

Of course, my never-ending teasing notwithstanding, I was more than happy that Jasper had finally found his true mate. And so was Charlotte. We both liked Bella very much. She was sweet and caring, and she had a very strong will. Her courage and open-mindedness were truly marvelous. She was perfect for Jasper … in more ways than one.

And it didn’t matter that she was human, because she would become one of us … sooner or later. There was no way Jasper would allow her to die of old age.

‘True mates are forever.’

I wondered why it had taken them this long to find each other, since they’d known each other for more than a year. Had the pixy known this was going to happen? Was this the reason why they, she and Edward, had kept them apart all this time? I wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually the case, but it would also take their betrayal to a whole new level.

What was really odd was the fact that I hadn’t seen Bella’s arrival at the house in advance. But after Jasper had told us about her ability to block him out, intentionally or not, I realized that she was probably doing the same thing to me.

‘Her power must be getting stronger … and fast.’ I mused, remembering that she was only able to block Edward’s gift the past. ‘I wonder why that is?’

Of course, I didn’t resent her for doing it, since I never relied on my so-called gift. But something told me, that it might come in handy, what with the involvement of the wolves and Laurent’s reappearance. I made a mental note to talk to her about that later.

I left the house at the same time as Charlotte and Jasper, making my way into town to get some material for the repair. Luckily, we hadn’t caused too much damage. The wall didn’t need to be replaced, just some minor fix-ups. It was probably not the first time, especially with someone like Emmett around the house.

I really looked forward to his and Rose’s arrival. They were always the only Cullens I missed not seeing on a regular basis. Rose’s letter showed her unending support and love for her brother. And from what Jasper had told me, Emmett has always been very protective of Bella. Sure, with everything I knew I was somewhat concerned about their reaction towards Bella’s and Jasper’s newfound relationship, but I knew even though it might take both of them some time, in the end they would come to accept it.

I returned to the house only after an hour. I’d just finished unloading the material, when my cell beeped. It was a message from my lovely wife.

DO ME A FAVOR, HON. CHECK ON BELLA. JASPER IS A MESS RIGHT NOW. HE IS BARELY HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER. WE’LL BE HOME SOON. LOVE YOU.

I chuckled under my breath. I simply couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t a real surprise to me that Jasper was having trouble being apart from his mate. Even though he was an empath – who had been living with mated vampires for years – I knew that he wouldn’t been able to truly comprehend the depth of feelings between true mates … not until now. In fact, every time he’d come to visit me and Char in the past he had seemed way too relaxed. It had been clear that his relationship with Alice wasn’t equal in strength to the one Char and I shared. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to stay away from his mate for days, without suffering the consequences of their separation.

Not wanting to prolong the inevitable unnecessarily, I quickly typed in my answer. WILL DO. LOVE YOU, TOO. SEE YOU LATER.

I checked the time. It was only 10 am. I knew Bella would be in class until 1 pm. Three hours. I abandoned my truck at the house, and my made way to her school on foot, checking out the vicinity on the way …

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

“Peter.” I breathed. I abandoned Mike at once, ignoring his protest, and went straight over to my truck. Peter’s former frown turned into a full sized grin. But I wasn’t returning his smile, because right now I wasn’t very happy to see him … not here, out in the open, with witnesses.

I came to a halt right in front of Peter, glaring up at him. “What are you doing here?” I hissed.

“Well, hello to you too, little lady.” Peter replied smoothly, still smirking. He pushed himself away from my truck, straightening up. I wasn’t intimated by his height or his true nature for this matter. I knew he would hurt me.

I huffed, pushing passed him. “Just get in the car!” I ordered, not trying to hide my annoyance. He just laughed in response. ‘So not helping here, Peter …’

“As in you are driving?” He clarified, not making a move.

I rolled my eyes at him. “My truck, my rules.” I simply stated, opening my door. I threw my bag behind my seat, and sat behind the wheel. Peter was still standing in front of the hood. I held his gaze, communicating silently that I wouldn’t change my mind any time soon … or ever.

A second later Peter sat beside me. I quickly glanced around, to make sure no one had witnessed him using his inhuman speed. Fortunately Mike had already left for his car on the other side of the parking lot, out of direct line of sight.

“You need to be more careful.” I scolded him, starting the engine. I pulled out of the lot, driving by Mike’s car. I kept my eyes strictly on the road, avoiding him on purpose. I had a weakness for puppy-dog eyes, and I knew that was exactly what I would have to face if I’d looked at him.

Peter laughed again. “What are really worried about, little lady? Me being caught doing something out of the ordinary … something vampiric … or are you just angry that I interrupted your little chat with that boy? He seems very smitten with you. Are you sure you don’t want to give him a chance after all?”

Of course, Peter had heard and seen everything that had transpired between me and Mike. I snorted in response. “Oh please, Peter, give me some credit. I do have standards. That douche doesn’t stand a chance with me, even if I were available … which I’m not as you very well know.”

“That’s harsh.” He stated, chuckling. “But certainly good to hear.” I knew Peter didn’t feel sorry for Mike, far from it. I smiled to myself, but didn’t comment.

I drove down the empty street, trying not push the engine over its limit. For the first time ever, I regretted not having a car that could go over sixty.

I broke the silence first. “Are they back yet?” My voice was quiet and calm again, but displaying some of my growing pain.

“Yes, they are.”

I frowned, glancing at Peter for a brief moment. “So why isn’t Jasper picking me up?” I demanded to know.

“Ouch, that hurts. I thought I liked me, little lady.” He complained, though it was obvious that he was just mocking me. But somehow he seemed to sense my irritation, changing the subject. “How are feeling, Bella?”

The sudden question about my wellbeing took me totally of guard. I could hear only sympathy and worry in his voice. There was no trace of amusement left in his voice. “Fine, I guess. Why?”

“Are you sure?” Peter pressed, seemingly expecting a complete different answer.

“Well … no, I’m not fine, not really.” I confessed, sighing. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. But I was a little embarrassed. I didn’t want to show anymore of my weak spots, other than the obvious ones … me being a human and all. I drew in a ragged breath, elaborating. “All day … since Jasper and I had departed … I am feeling this pull in my chest, like I am supposed to be somewhere else … like I really need to be with Jasper.”

“That sounds very familiar.” Peter commented, his voice calm, almost thoughtful. Again I risked a quick glance at him.

‘Maybe I should have let him drive after all.’ I contemplated. But since I didn’t want to waste any time by pulling over and changing seats, I disregarded that thought immediately. What I saw in Peter’s face gave me some much needed reassurance. I wasn’t crazy. This was real, not something I’d been imagining. “You know what I’m talking about?”

“Yes. It’s the same I’m going through every time I’m away from my mate.” He explained.

“Mate?” Of course I knew the term. It wasn’t the first time I heard it. But Peter using it now, in that context, implied something I wasn’t sure how to take in.

“Don’t tell me, Jasper hasn’t told you yet?” Peter sounded very surprised.

“Told me what?” I asked, warily.

“That you and Jasper are mates, of course. Soul mates, in fact.” He clarified.


	23. A Ride on the Rollercoaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although it's the unspoken rule to receive gifts on that specific day ... here is my birthday gift to all of you. Enjoy!

Peter POV

 

Of course I’d anticipated some sort of reaction from her, so I was prepared to act and interfere appropriately. Before Bella had the chance to drive her ancient truck into the next tree, I had switched our positions, taking her place behind the wheel. To say that she was startled to find herself suddenly on the passenger seat was an understatement. Her heart was beating like mad.

“Are you alright there, little one?” I asked. I was a little worried that I’d scared her too much with my sudden move. She might have witnessed vampire speed in action on more than one occasion before, but it was obvious that her human senses still had trouble to process them, and that her mind clearly needed some time to catch up. I didn’t really know what that felt like, but I could image it must be terribly confusing. And it would always be like that. As long as she was human, that was. 

“Yeah … I think so.” She was clutching the seat with both hands, taking in big gulps of air, exhaling loudly. Her heartbeat was slowing down perceptibly with each passing moment, but she was still shaking a little from the shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. But it was the best idea I could come up with on such short notice.” I defended my impulsive action. “Maybe you should have let me drive after all. Talking and driving at the same time isn’t one of your skills.” I stated calmly, cautiously gauging her reaction. “No offence.”

“None taken, I guess.” Bella grumbled. I had to suppress a chuckle that threatened to escape my lips. I didn’t want to make her angrier than she already was. Sure, she was grateful for saving her truck from landing in the ditch, and thereby preventing any damage to come to it … and to herself by extension. But it was pretty obvious that she didn’t like to be reminded of her human shortcomings.

And somehow I could sympathize. It must be hard for her. We were faster, stronger … and at least from a human perspective more attractive. I got the feeling that she was convinced that we were everything she wasn’t. I had to agree on the first two. Being part of the supernatural world had certain advantages for sure, but those were only physical aspects. We were far from better … just different. Freaks of nature, some might say.

Despite the fact that I didn’t know Bella for a very long time … just for a little over two days to be precise … I still had a pretty clear picture of her already. In the past I hadn’t had the slightest interest to interact with a human, but she was truly an exceptional exemplar of her species. And I wasn’t only referring to her quick approval of Charlotte and me. This in itself was out of the ordinary considering we were drinking human instead of animal blood. Yet, she didn’t judge us, not even one bit. Her trust in us was simply astonishing … and a little crazy.

But what was really remarkable was how much influence she seemed to have over Jasper. In just a day she’d managed to pull him out of the void, he’d retreated into, drowning in self-loathing and self-pity. God knows, I’d tried everything for the last six months and I still hadn’t succeeded. But she had. I was sure it wasn’t solely because of her special connection with him. It was simply her … mate or no mate. She had the strange power to bring out the best in us, make us try harder, to better ourselves.

But Bella didn’t seem to realize what she was doing, underestimating herself and her enormous inner strength. She was so much better than us, and she didn’t even know. She simply couldn’t or wouldn’t see it. She might think that we were stunning, but the truth was that she was beautiful in body and soul, which couldn’t be said for even one of my kind. Try as we might, the reality remained the same. We were monsters, killers … demons with the faces of angels. Well in case of myself, my mate and my brother it was in fact only the face of angels. The marred skin on the rest of our bodies showed a different picture …

I drove her truck straight to the Cullen house, but taking my time. I wanted to spend some quality time with Bella, knowing that I wouldn’t get many chances in the future.

“Thanks, anyway.” Bella broke the silence between us. She seemed to be a little embarrassed about her earlier behavior, but I didn’t blame her. She glanced at me from under her long, dark eyelashes, blushing slightly. I gave her a warm and genuine smile, telling her without words that it was okay. She bit her lip, in a thoughtful kind of way.

“How do you know? That Jasper and I are mates, I mean.” She asked, picking up our topic of conversation before the little interruption. I’d expected as much, so I wasn’t surprised.

“Charlotte’s gift.” I answered.

“Charlotte has a gift too?” She sounded surprised, but mostly intrigued.

“What do you mean too?” I inquired, glancing at her. But she was avoiding my interrogating gaze, playing nervously with the zipper of her coat.

“Oh, the other day Jasper mentioned something about you having a gift of some kind. But he didn’t know what it was exactly.” Bella replied, shrugging. She tried to sound nonchalant, but it was obvious she was hoping for me to fill her in on my secret power.

“Did he now?” I smirked. At this point I was just stalling, playing with her. I’d already made up my mind. I wanted tell her the truth, not only because of my plan to talk to her about her own gift. I loved her already, like a sister. It was impossible to lie to her, even if I wanted to. As far as I was concerned, she had suffered enough from deception by vampires who had claimed to love her. She deserved to be treated better, even if she was only a human.

“So do you have a gift?” She pressed.

“Yes.” I said, taking some seconds to organize my thoughts before I went on. “The first thing you have to understand is that my gift doesn’t work like the ones of other gifted vampires you know. It’s hard to explain, but I don’t have any real control over it, meaning that I can’t use it at will.” She looked puzzled, and I hurried to continue. “You know that Jasper senses the emotions of others all the time if he wants to or not. The same goes for Edward, I’m certain. With the little exception of you, my dear of course. What I meant to say is that they cannot shut it off. It’s a little different for me. I can’t do either one or the other.”

Bella frowned in confusion. “Okay … I’m not sure I can follow … so what is it that you can do?”

“In simple terms … I have visions.” I replied, amending my answer at once, “Sort of.”

“Like Alice?” She exclaimed, sounding intrigued once more. Was she really happy to have someone around that had the ability to foretell the future?

My answering growl was low enough to escape her notice. I didn’t like to be compared to the little pixie one way or another. Fortunately, due to much practice I was able to keep my irritation from showing in my voice. “No, Bella, my ability works differently. I assume you already know this much. Alice’s visions only show probable outcomes, depending on other people’s decisions, big or small ones. Whatever she can see is never a hundred percent certain … just a possibility. It might make her gift helpful on occasion, but in the end not very reliable. Wouldn’t you agree?” I didn’t wait for her confirmation, knowing she would concur. Instead I carried on.

“Anyhow … what I’m trying to say is that what I see is set in stone, unchangeable. Maybe that’s why I can see things about people’s past, too, without having been there to witness it with my eyes. I don’t really know. But the most important difference is that I don’t have real visions like Alice. I don’t see something like those little ‘movies’ of hers, only picture proof of settings, like photographs. On very rare occasions I receive more than one at a time. It’s really hard to tell how my gift really works, what the limitations are. But to tell the truth I’ve never wanted to try and find out. It felt unnecessary. I’m not like Alice. I don’t rely on my gift to get through life.” I finished my explanation, winking at Bella. She only nodded in response, obviously still trying to process all the information I just bestowed on her. However, I was pleased to see the trace of a small smile flitting across her face. I took it as confirmation that she … like Charlotte and Jasper and myself … didn’t like Alice’s meddling with the life of others.

“Have you seen anything about me?” She asked softly, almost shyly.

I had to smile at her apprehension. “No, little one, I haven’t. Whether it’s because there isn’t anything important I need to know, or because you are blocking my ability, I do not know.”

She was clearly shocked by my statement. “I’m blocking you?”

I shrugged. “I cannot be sure of course, but it is a possibility I have to consider, since Jasper’s gift doesn’t seem to work on you all the time. And you’ve always been able to block Edward’s mindreading ability, so I guess your gift is still evolving, only getting stronger with time. It does make sense. Why would you only be able to block out one specific gift and not others as well?” I pointed out. She didn’t oppose me, probably because she had no argument against my reasoning.

“Do you think that Alice isn’t able to see me anymore either?” She asked, sounding anxious. I wondered why.

“There is a good chance that she doesn’t. But the more important question is do you want her to see you or not?” I asked in return.

“No, I guess I would feel better if she doesn’t.” She said, dropping her gaze. Did she feel guilty? About what? Her bond with Jasper? She had no reason to feel that way, because she’d done nothing wrong. Before I could voice any of my questions she beat me to the punch.

“Peter, why didn’t you tell Jasper about your gift? I mean he is your best friend and all …” She trailed off. She wasn’t criticizing me, just wondering about my reasons to keep it a secret.

“Well … it’s a rather long story. It has something to do with our shared past.” I began, not sure if I should continue.

“You mean when you were with Maria during the vampires wars.” She assumed correctly.

“Jasper told you about that?” I was surprised, but glad. It would make things easier for me.

“Yes, last night.” She said, giving me a soft, sympathetic smile. It almost looked like she wanted me to give me a hug too. I would have liked that, but now wasn’t the right time, so I just returned her warm smile with one of my own. I didn’t know how much she knew, but even a small amount of insight would be good enough.

“At first I didn’t realize that I had this so-called gift … actually it took a very long time to figure it out for myself. I thought I was going nuts … getting all these strange, confusing pictures, not knowing what they meant or where they were coming from. All I knew was that they were not my memories.

“And when I finally did solve the mystery, I knew it would be wiser to keep it to myself. Maria was and probably still is very driven. That’s putting it rather mildly … she’s always been looking for vampires with special abilities, in order to expand her domain. I guess it was a good thing that I was an excellent fighter otherwise I wouldn’t have made it past my newborn year. That’s why I never had a reason to use my gift as a bargaining chip … in order to survive, you know.” I grinned. I’ve always been a cunning bastard. That’s one thing that would never change, no matter how much would pass. “I actually kept it a secret for a very long time. I told Charlotte about it only after our escape from that hell hole in Texas. It was safer this way. But anyhow … to answer your question … I’ve always been under the impression that Jasper suspected something … even back then. I don’t know why he hadn’t said anything. He was in the position to force me to confess, but he never did. Jasper’s decisions saved my life more than once.” I confessed.

“He has a good soul.” Bella simply said, smiling wistfully. I couldn’t agree more. Too bad Jasper wasn’t able to see that too. ‘Maybe in time …’

Finally we reached the junction leading to our destination. I drove down the overgrown lane towards the Cullen mansion. At this point Bella was practically bouncing in her seat. I wasn’t faring that much better, having been apart from my mate for almost half a day had taken its toll on me as well. It was easy to tell that we both were happy and eager to be reunited with our loved ones.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

Charlotte and I made our way back to Forks much sooner than originally planned. I didn’t mind of course, quite the opposite. After receiving my divorce papers – via a third (human) party – my mood was at its low point.

My sister was supportive and sympatric as ever, but her reaction about the whole thing was very strong. Her rage was practically rolling of her in waves. I did my best to fight it off, before it could crush me. Fortunately, for both of us, Charlotte managed to rein in her anger pretty quickly, thereby giving me the chance to calm down. I was sure that she wouldn’t have appreciated if I’d done any damage to her new car, which was very nice in my opinion.

Of course, she wanted me to talk about it, to help me, but I declined her generous offer … for the moment. I wasn’t ready to talk about any of it, not yet anyway. It was all too fresh in my mind. I needed time to come to terms with it before I could share my thoughts with somebody else. Char understood, and immediately agreed to skip the shopping part of our trip. It wasn’t like either one of us needed something that desperately.

Charlotte spared me one last look before she diverted her eyes back to the road, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I leaned back into the seat, closing my eyes.

‘What a fucking mess …’ I groaned. This was just what I needed, another blow, when I was already down … physically and mentally hurting. Thank goodness, that the fucking pain in my chest seemed to lessen marginally but steadily with each mile we were getting closer to Forks.

I wasn’t exactly angry or sad, just disappointed. Maybe I didn’t have the right to feel this way, but still, I’d expected more from my so-called wife … correction ex-wife. But apparently I wasn’t worth speaking to in person. And maybe there wasn’t anything more she needed to say to me. Her message was plain and simple. It was over between us. While I was still drowning in self-pity and self-loathing, Alice had made the final decision about our relationship without me and had sent the divorce papers to the only person she knew I would contact sooner or later.

My mind went back to my earlier meeting with Jenks. A small smile flitted across my face …

 

\+ + +

 

When Jenks handed me the envelop it was clear that he was unaware of its contents. He was way too relaxed. Well as relaxed as he could be given the circumstances. The fact that he was in the presence of a vampire, unknowingly though, always had him on edge.

My first reaction was purely instinctual. I growled, low and deep, but apparently still audible to a human ear. It was very clear I’d scared Jenks more than usual. The color had drained from Jenks’ face, and I was able to sense more fear emanating from him than before. He was shaking like a leaf, cowering in his seat behind the desk.

He looked at me pleadingly, almost like he was trying say. ‘Please don’t shoot the messenger …’

Fortunately for him and me, I was able to get a hold of myself rather quickly. I sent him some calming waves, and assured him with words that everything was fine. I even thanked him for keeping ‘my mail’ until now. He might have been a little curious about the contents, but my reaction was answer enough. It wasn’t good news. His strong sense of self-preservation prevented him to ask any unpleasant questions, though.

After that I kept our meeting short and strictly business, just giving him the needed information for my new ID and credit cards, just like I’d planned to. As it turned out, it did come in handy that I’d decided to keep a separate account from the Cullens the entire time. Unsurprisingly, the one I used to share with Alice had been wiped clean. A nuisance, of course, but not a real issue … I still had enough money to last a lifetime, or two.

Jenks wrote down my instructions very meticulously, repeating one by one, making sure he didn’t miss anything. Even though it wasn’t necessary, he promised to have everything ready by the end of the week. “Make sure, you do.” I replied, taking far too much pleasure in his discomfort.

Before I left Jenks’ office, I made on final request, though. I made it very clear that he was to inform me immediately if anybody was asking about me or my whereabouts. And I knew he wouldn’t dare to disappoint me …

 

\+ + +

 

I sighed. Maybe Charlotte was right after all. I should take solace in the fact that I was now officially a free man. I wasn’t even sure what I would have done, if Alice hadn’t beaten me to it. Retaking my name was pretty much the same thing as filing for divorce. It least in our world …

But still I couldn’t shake off this feeling of betrayal. Even if she’d felt that way the least she could have done was to try and find me, and show me some decency by talking to me in person. Instead she took the easy way out, avoiding any kind of direct confrontation. I’d never pictured her for a coward. What did she expect? That I would put up some sort of fight? Resort to violence? Hardly. I would never lay a hand on her.

But on the other hand, I wasn’t really free of blame either. I’d jumped into this relationship with Bella without being legally free. Someone else might consider it a mere technicality but I felt differently. I’d always prided myself as a man of dignity and decency.

I should feel bad about committing adultery, but the truth was that I didn’t. There were stronger forces at work here, forces I wasn’t able to fight, even if I’d wanted to. And of course, I didn’t want to. Bella made me happier than I could have dreamed of. Alice has never been able to do the same in all those years we’d spent together. A fact that gave me some needed comfort.

We drove back in total silence. I could sense Charlotte’s struggle the entire time. She wasn’t an overly chatty person, but this awkward silence between us was unsettling her. But she didn’t say anything, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was immensely grateful for my sister’s endless amount of understanding and support. It almost rivaled Bella’s capacity for doing the same … almost. The only difference between them was that Bella would show anybody, even a complete stranger the same courtesy, whereas Charlotte only felt this way about her family. I didn’t know if it was because Bella was still human, and had a beating heart. But I doubted that. I was sure it was simply her.

 

\+ + +

 

Charlotte and I made quick work of our little redecorating project, switching my couch with the four-poster bed from the guest room. We even added one of the dressers. It was big enough to hold all of my clothes … well all the ones I’d decided to keep anyway. I got rid of more than 75%. All those stupid dress shirts and fancy pants, that Alice had bought me, were going to Good Will now.

In my opinion, the Cullens always had too many clothes, and the wrong ones to boot. Jeans and a T-shirt was all I needed … and of course my favorite pair of cowboy boots. True, it was nice not to think about money, but there were better ways to spent it. I was glad that Bella wasn’t a fashion junkie either. In fact, I could vividly remember more than one time feeling her annoyance about Alice’s persistence to take her on one of her crazy shopping sprees. But being her, Bella had never complained openly, not even once.

‘Always eager to please …’

I thought this whole redecorating thing was sort of fun, although this was supposed to be a short visit, quick in and out. But now it seemed to become more like a permanent solution … well at least as long as Bella was still in high school. I knew I would never be able to leave her side, not for long anyway.

But I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to stay in this house. Maybe I should look for a place of my own for the duration of my stay in Forks. This house held to many bad memories, for everyone involved. And truthfully, I didn’t feel quite comfortable staying here without the knowledge and consent of Carlisle and Esme. After all this was still their house. It made me feel like a trespasser, even though I used to call this my home too … once upon the time. But to tell the truth, deep down I’ve always felt more like a guest than a true family member.

And speaking of true family … I got the feeling that Peter and Char would like to return home sooner rather than later, back to their secluded little house in Arizona. But I was sure that they would stick around until everything amiss was sorted out. I could tell that they both cared about Bella very much already.

After she’d finished changing the sheets and arranging the pillows and the comforter on the bed, Charlotte pulled a package out of her pocket and placed it on the bedside table.

I snorted when I read the label. “Condoms? Seriously? Why would I ever need something like this?” The more important question was why did she have something like this on her? Or did she take the time and pick them up back in Seattle?

‘Well at least she chose the right size …’ I thought dryly.

“Jasper, Jasper, Jasper …” She chided, shaking her head in disappointment. “Correct me if I’m wrong but your mate is a virgin, right?” She spared me a pointed look, adding nothing else.

I almost smacked myself in the head. Why hadn’t I thought of this myself? True, as a vampire I wasn’t able to impregnate a human, but my venom still represented an undeniably risk factor. For our first time together, we certainly would need a condom, since I didn’t want to change her by accident. But after that …

“Thanks … I guess.” I muttered, still slightly embarrassed by my lack of foresight. But I didn’t want to leave the item out in the open, on display practically screaming ‘I want to fuck you.’, so I went over and hid the package in the drawer of the nightstand. Charlotte chuckled, but didn’t comment.

We’d just finished with the rest of our mission of turning my study into a temporary but inviting bedroom, when I picked up the familiar rumbling sound of Bella’s truck, slowly coming down the lane. I had been planning to pick Bella up myself, but when I’d mentioned it to my sister she had informed me that Peter was already taking care of it. I was a little upset at first that she hadn’t told me, but in the end I was more than thankful of her thoughtfulness. She had sent Peter to check up on Bella.

I made my way down to the lower level in the blink of an eye, Charlotte following my lead. A few seconds later the front door opened and my beautiful angel and my brother entered the house at the same time. And just like that, the weird pain I’d been feeling the entire day vanished. A warm, fuzzy kind of feeling took its place. I sighed in relief, and so did everyone else in the room. The combined feelings of love, happiness and elation of four people were overwhelming. They made me feel dizzy, but in a good way. I didn’t pay any attention to my siblings and their reunion. I was completely captivated by the presence of my mate. Time seemed to stand still.

When Bella’s brown eyes met my golden ones, the smile appearing on her face lit up the entire room. I fell in love with her all over again. She quickly removed her coat and threw it carelessly on the floor. And then without any further delay she ran towards me, jumping into my open arms. I should have easily caught her, but obviously I wasn’t prepared.

Of course, it wasn’t the physical attack that brought me down, but her emotions … all of them released at once, slamming into me like a train at full speed. She literally knocked me over. I went down, taking her with me. She landed more or less safely in my lap, straddling me. She was laughing in pure joy, clearly just as elated to see me as I was to be reunited with her.

Without a word, she cradled my face in her tiny, warm hands and crushed her lips on mine, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. I didn’t mind her enthusiasm, quite the contrary I welcomed it. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her back with all I had to offer. Soon our tongues were battling for dominance. I was drowning in our combined emotions of happiness, love and lust.

I barely took notice of Peter’s and Charlotte’s discreet exit. All of my usually sharp senses weren’t working as they should be. At this moment Bella was the only thing I was able to hear, see, taste, smell or feel.

We were kissing for what seemed like hours, but it was actually only a few minutes. Too soon I had no other choice but to let go of her sweet mouth. She was gasping for air, but my lips never left her skin. I was hungry for more. I trailed openmouthed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, licking and tasting her skin there. She tasted delicious.

“Oh, God, Jasper.” She moaned, tilting her head further back to give me better access to her neck. “I’ve missed you so fucking much … it actually hurt.”

“Me too, baby, me too.” I breathed against her skin. She shivered in pleasure, grinding her center into mine. I responded with a moan of my own. By now it was obvious how much I enjoyed her brazen behavior. I was painfully hard, yearning for some kind of release. I could smell her arousal. It was sweet and heady. I could hardly wait to get a taste of it as well. My hands went down to her ass, squeezing her cheeks roughly, but still carefully minding my strength.

Before I could take this any further like I wanted to, Bella pushed herself into a sitting position. First I was a little startled, afraid I might have done something wrong, but I was still able to read her emotions very clearly. She was just as aroused and eager as I was to carry on, but I could also sense a slight trace of irritation mixed in with some mischief.

‘What the hell?’

“Now, now Major … not so fast.” She told me off, with a grin on her flushed face. Her lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing. She looked adorable. “I should be punishing you, instead of rewarding you … because I’m really, really angry with you right now.”

I growled in response. I seemed to do that a lot around her, but I couldn’t help it. Her addressing me with my military rank was quite the turn-on. So was the thought of her punishing me (even if it was a mere fantasy). I’ve always had a thing for bondage, a sexual preference Alice unfortunately hadn’t shared. I was curious if that was something Bella might enjoy … someday.

I tried to pull her back down again, but she pushed away my hands, pinning my arms to the ground. Of course, she was no match for my inhuman strength, but I didn’t fight her, curious where she was taking this.

“What have I done to upset you, my sweet darlin’?” I asked innocently, playing along. I hadn’t broken our eye contact, but thanks to my peripheral vision, I could see that her skirt had been pushed up slightly, revealing some of her bare skin underneath. I wanted nothing more than to free my hands and let them travel up her thighs. But I fought the urge, remaining immobile, pinned underneath her.

Bella seemed to be able to sense my inner struggle, grinning evilly. It should have been clear that she was up to no good, but I was too entranced by her to truly care. She deliberately wriggled her hips against mine, using more pressure than before. I tried not to move, but failed miserably, bucking up against her. I couldn’t help it. It was a reflex reaction.

“Stop that!” She ordered. “I’ll tell you what you’ve done wrong. You neglected to tell me that we are mates … soul mates according to Peter. And no, you can’t be angry with your brother for spilling the beans.” She stressed, giving me a meaningful, accusing look. Damn, she knew me too well. But she was right. I was the one who’d fucked up, not Peter.

Suddenly her demeanor changed from playful to serious. “Why didn’t you tell me, Jasper?” I was able to tell that she wasn’t really angry with me for withholding that piece information, just disappointed. I winced instinctively. And what did she do? She immediately felt guilty for causing me pain, making shushing noises in order to soothe me. My woman was simply incredible. I stared up at her, lost for words. She gave me a small smile, and then she leaned in again, to place a soft, lingering kiss on my mouth. I responded in kind, pushing every ounce of my love for her into that one kiss. But I felt the urgent need to break our connection prematurely. I owed her an apology and an explanation.

Bella seemed to get the message, and pulled away on her own free will. She looked down at me expectantly, her eyes shining with nothing but love and understanding. I swallowed hard. “Bella, please believe me, I wasn’t hiding it on purpose. I’m sorry if I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. It never is. You know that. But with everything else going on … Laurent, the werewolves and Rose’s and Emmett’s planned return … well it seemed there never was the right moment to tell you.

“And I didn’t want to throw such an important piece of information just at you, without having the time to talk it through with you in peace. I have to admit, there might have been another reason why I’ve stalled.” I confessed. “To tell the truth I was a little freaked out at first. Well, not really freaked out, but definitely confused. You have to understand, I’ve always believed Alice was it for me. And after I came here to find out that she’d left me, for good, I was hurt and began to doubt everything and everybody.” I was pleading with my eyes, for her understanding and her forgiveness.

“Jasper, please stop blaming yourself. I understand … your reaction and your decision to wait for the right moment to tell me. I really do, and I am not mad at you. But maybe next time you won’t wait so long to tell me that something is bothering you. I am here for you … always.” She vowed, touching my right cheek gently, almost reverently. I leaned into her hand, sighing. She was too selfless, too good. I still wasn’t sure I deserved her, but I was happy to have her.

“I will.” I promised.

“So … you really had no idea at all before Charlotte told you?” She asked, merely out of interest.

I shook my head, reaching for her hands, intertwining her fingers with mine. “No, I didn’t. Like I said, Alice and I were supposed to be mates. And as you know vampires mate for eternity, not just for a couple of decades. Whatever it was we’ve shared, it obviously was never destined to last … otherwise I wouldn’t have received my divorce papers today.”

“WHAT?” She exclaimed, pulling her hands free with unexpected force, startling me at first. There was a fire in her eyes that might have scared the crap out of me, if I hadn’t felt that her anger wasn’t directed at me. I knew this because her anger was quickly followed by waves of pain, self-doubt and guilt. Typical Bella behavior, she was blaming herself for all of this mess.

I couldn’t have that. And I wouldn’t.

I pulled myself into a sitting position, rearranging Bella’s position in my lap, so that our crotches didn’t touch anymore.

‘No more distractions …at least for the moment …’

My embrace was comforting but casual, leaving enough space between our bodies to focus. Bella placed her hands to my chest. Her emotions were still in disarray.

I sent her some calming waves, and to my surprise she didn’t fight off my help, which was good, because honestly I couldn’t take any more of her negative feelings. They felt like knives cutting through my durable skin, stabbing right into my dead heart. It was crucial for my own sanity and well-being that she calmed down. And slowly but surely she did. But even though, she still had my shirt gripped tightly in her tiny fists like she was afraid I might push her away after all and leave.

‘Is she thinking that I was blaming her? That’s just crazy …’

I gave her a small, but genuine smile and I ran my hands over her clothed arms in a reassuring way.

“Please, Darlin’, calm down. You have no reason whatsoever to feel bad or guilty about anything. Not even about your little outburst, because that was exactly my first reaction … as well as Charlotte’s.” I joked, but only halfheartedly. This was hardly a laughing matter. Bella smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She was too tense, still unsure. I took in a deep breath, before I continued.

“Yes, Alice filed for divorce. And yes, she did it only a month after our separation. But as much as I want to give her a piece of my mind about her more than disrespectful way to get rid of me, I know it wouldn’t change anything. Alice is my past. But you, my dear Isabella, you are my present and my future.” I told her, letting her feel my sincerity. I could hear her heartbeat pick up pace, and her breathing went from normal to erratic. I could tell that she trying to fight back tears, her feelings threatening to crush not only her but me as well. I wanted to drown in our shared feelings of love and devotion, but I wasn’t finished yet. I did my best to hold them at bay for the moment.

“I’m not even sure if it was indeed love what I felt when I was with her. Maybe I’ve confused gratitude with love, who knows. I might be an empath, but I’m far from infallible, especially when it comes to my own feelings.” I admitted with a sad smile. “But in the end none of this matters. Sure, I will forever be grateful to Alice for showing me that there is indeed another way to live beside the constant mayhem and slaughter I’ve had to endure for almost a century. And I will never regret my decision to go with her, because if I had denied her request, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. Actually, maybe I should thank Alice for leading me here … to you, my true and only mate. I love you, Isabella, with all my heart and my soul. Never doubt that.” I finally let go, allowing her to feel my undying devotion, yet careful not to overwhelm her completely with the intensity of my feelings.

A single tear ran down her cheek, but I knew it was a tear of pure joy. “I love you too, Jasper Whitlock.” She sniffed. “I’m yours, only yours, my mate… my Major.” She added with a wink. I growled again, pulling her roughly towards me, kissing her with all my passion. We kept on kissing like that for another full minute, until she was out of breath again. I broke contact, resting my forehead against hers. We both were breathing heavily.

“I love it when you call me that.” I confessed in a husky whisper.

“I figured as much.” Bella giggled. “And just so you know, I love your response too.”

“Then I’m hoping you are prepared for the other consequences as well.” I warned playfully. My voice was deep and hoarse. I tightened my grip on her hips, pulling her closer.

“What do you have in mind?” She asked. Her voice was low, practically oozing sex. She had no idea that she was playing with fire. But then again, maybe she knew exactly what she was doing, and was just awaiting my reaction. Whatever, the truth was that I had to fight the urge to take her right there and then, finally claiming her as my mate. I had to tell myself that she deserved better. Taking her here, on the floor, in the living room was hardly the right place for her … for our first time.

Instead of answering her question, I stood up with Bella in my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist in order to steady herself. I did my best to ignore the heat radiating from her center, so close to my groin.

I walked us up the stairs, in a human pace. “I have a surprise for you.” I announced on the way. She frowned at me. “Oh, no, don’t give me that look. I haven’t spent any money, not even a dime, I promise.” I laughed. After her disastrous birthday party I was well aware that she wasn’t very fond of surprises per se, especially the ones including expensive gifts.

“Alright.” She conceded with a grumble. She seemed to be somewhat appeased, obviously believing me. And she had no reason not to.

I carried her straight to my new room, setting her down on her feet right in front of the closed door. “Go ahead.” I encouraged her. I was a little nervous about her reaction, but mostly excited.

When she opened the door, she gasped. “Wow.” It was easy to tell that she was pleasantly surprised by what she saw.

“I know the room is a little cramped now, but I thought you might prefer a real bed.” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Bella turned around, giving me a pointed look, raising one of her eyebrows in silent question. “So, you think just because you’ve added a bed to your room that I’m going to spend my nights here with you from now on.” She tried to sound reproachful, but failed miserably. Her emotions gave her away. She was impressed and happy … and a lot of other things, but definitely not angry.

I slowly but deliberately closed the distance between us, gently placing my hands on her hips. I pulled her towards me, having to use barely any force. She went more than willingly into my waiting arms. “Well, not every night. What would your father think? But I was hoping at least some of them …”

Bella smirked at me. “We’ll see.” She replied, teasingly. She let her gaze wander towards the bed, and then back to my eyes. “How about we take it for a test drive?” She cooed, letting her hands wander over my chest.

For a moment I was shocked by her boldness, but I recovered quickly. ‘What a minx …’

“You really have no idea what you’re asking for.” I growled. I picked her up effortlessly, and flung us on top of the bed. We both landed safely in the center. She giggled, at my antics or my enthusiasm, I had no idea. But I didn’t care what the reason was. I just loved her laughter.

I gently pushed her onto her back, hovering over her. I supported most of my weight on my arms, not wanting to crush her, but there still was barely any space left between our bodies. Without waiting for her permission, I leaned in and pressed my lips insistently on her already swollen lips, kissing her senseless. She writhed underneath me, seeking more friction. It was clear that she was enjoying herself.

With each passing moment our little make-out session got more heated, leaving no doubt left about where we were heading, if we’d continue on this path. Part of my brain … a very little part … shouted at me, trying to tell me that this was happening too fast, that I should take it slow, maybe even wait, but my body refused to listen. 

I wanted this … badly, more than anything. I wanted to claim Bella, to make her mine. It felt so right. I ached to feel her warm, soft skin against my own. I wanted to taste her, to ravage her, to feel her wrapped around my now painfully hard cock. I could tell that she wanted the same. I felt her increasing desire for me, for my body. Her constant moaning was encouragement enough, but the scent of her arousal, getting stronger by the minute, permeating the air in the room, was what truly convinced me. I could literally taste her need for release on my tongue.

Call me a greedy and selfish bastard, but right now, I was more than happy that she was still untouched … still pure and innocent … therefore I would be the first and the only man who would have her this way. She was mine, only mine.

Once again I pulled back from her lips, allowing her to catch her breath. But my hands never left her still completely covered body … learning, discovering, caressing, encouraging. “You should wear skirts more often.” I breathed against the skin of her neck, licking my way up to her ear.

“Only for you.” Bella managed to reply, her voice unsteady, husky.

“You better be.” I chuckled darkly, gently biting her earlobe before giving it another lick. She shuddered delicately. Her answering growl was rather cute. ‘My little kitten …’

I slowly pulled back, sitting up on my knees between her parted legs. She was breathing heavily, and her face was flushed from excitement and arousal. She was gorgeous. Her clothes were slightly crumpled and her skirt at risen up, showing part of her pale tights.

I placed my hands on her waist, raising my eyebrows in a silently question, while suggestively tugging at the hem of her sweater. I wanted to see her, all of her. I yearned to feel more of her skin. Bella understood my subtle hint, allowing me to pull both her sweater and her shirt off her in one swift movement. I tossed both items somewhere on the floor beside the bed. My eyes roamed hungrily over her partially exposed upper body.

She blushed under my scrutiny. “You are so beautiful.” I said, not only because I wanted to reassure her. Fantasy-Bella from earlier today had nothing on Real-Bella. She was only partially naked, but as far as I was concerned she was beyond beautiful … she was perfect. My hands went right for the prize, cupping her lace-covered breasts. They fit perfectly into my hands.

Bella moaned loudly at the contact. I rubbed my thumps over her nipples, feeling and seeing them tightening further. She arched her back, leaning further into my touch. I used this chance to reach behind her, quickly unfastening the clasp of her bra. Due to my waning patience I almost ripped the bra, when I removed it. It joined her other clothing items on the floor. For a split second she was shocked, but when I put my hands back on her naked breasts, she trembled and moaned in satisfaction.

She felt so good under my hands, soft and warm. I still marveled at the fact that the difference in our skin temperature wasn’t as big as it should be considering she was human and therefore alive, and I on the other hand was a living corpse, cold and hard. True, she was still warmer than me, but not as scorching hot as I remembered human skin to be.

“Please, Jasper …” She moaned, begging me, desperately clutching the comforter in her tiny fists. “I need more.”

I smirked, leaning down to take one of her peaks into my mouth, while continuing to pinch the other one between my thumb and forefinger. 

“Yes.” She hissed in pleasure, arching her back further.

I teased her nipple relentlessly, changing between licking, sucking and biting, testing what she liked best. Apparently she had quite a thing for biting. Every time I did that, she let out a loud, lingering moan, further increasing the level of her arousal.

I groaned against Bella’s skin. She tasted divine, sweet and heady. I could taste the faint residual trace of her shower gel on her skin, something fruity, mixed in with her very own scent. It was intoxicating. I let go of her nipple, slowly moving downwards, my tongue and mouth never leaving her skin. I had to rearrange my own body slightly, coming to lie between her parted legs.

I pulled back slightly, chuckling at her whining protest. I looked up at her face. “Tell me what you want me to do.” I breathed against the bare skin of her stomach.

Bella shuddered again. “I don’t know … something … just keep touching me.” She whimpered.

Her innocence was truly adorable. I knew exactly where she wanted to be touched, without her telling me in words. The scent of her arousal was getting stronger by the minute. Today I was going to let it slide, but in the future I would make her say it … out loud.

I reached down to the hem of her skirt, letting one of my hands disappear underneath it. The skin on her legs was soft, and so smooth. She must be shaving her legs. Without breaking our eye contact and ran my hand upwards, slowly … very slowly. Bella was holding her breath in anticipation, waiting for me to touch her where it was obvious she yearned to be touched the most. I stopped right at the very edge of her boy shorts. She whimpered again.

“Breathe, Bella.” I reminded her, softly. Not wanting to wait any longer myself, I ran one finger alongside her slit. “So wet already …” I moaned, putting more pressure against her center. Bella moaned loudly, sighing in relief. She was a picture of beauty. Her eyes fluttered close, her mouth slightly parted, her face flushed in pure rapture. She bucked her center against my hand, seeking more friction.

It still wasn’t enough for me. I needed to see her, needed to feel all of her. I pulled my hand away, and sat back on my knees. I shushed her before she was able to voice her complaint. “I am going to take off the rest of your clothing now.” I informed her in rough voice, not trying to hide my own excitement. “If you don’t want to go any further, please tell me now and I will stop. And I promise I won’t be mad.” But greatly disappointed, I added in my head.

Bella blushed, but nodded her head. “Do it. I want this, I need this … please … don’t stop now, Jasper.”

I could feel her slight embarrassment at the situation, but her need for release was stronger. And more than that, she trusted me not to do something that would hurt her … emotionally or physically. “No need to beg, my darlin’. Not yet anyway.” I teased, trying to lighten the mood, to ease her discomfort some. It seemed to work, because she giggled in response.

I made quick work removing the rest of her clothes, soothing her nerves by placing strategic kisses all over her body. I refrained from using my gift on her, because that would be cheating, and not to mention a direct violation of her trust. Of course, I could have asked for her permission but I wanted her to feel what she was feeling, not manipulating her to suit my needs. After all, right now was all about her.

Finally she was completely naked. I couldn’t take my eyes of her, drinking in the sight of my mate offering herself to me freely. My hands kept traveling over her heated skin, leaving goose bumps of pleasure in their wake.

When I cupped her cleanly shaven center with my hand, she nearly screamed in pleasure. I was thrilled to see her behaving so uninhibited. She was so responsive to my every touch, my every kiss. I loved it.

She was dripping wet. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to taste her … from the source.

Without any further delay I retook my earlier position between her legs. She squirmed, trying to move away, feeling slightly embarrassed again. But I wouldn’t have any of that, holding her hips still. “Just relax and enjoy. I promise this will feel really good.” I purred, gently pushing her legs further apart. Her lips were glistening with the evidence of her immense arousal. I leaned in, licking once from her entrance up to her clit, circling the already engorged nub a couple times, before I pulled back.

Both of our reactions were instantaneous and mutual. We were both moaning deeply in undiluted pleasure. She tasted better than any blood I’d ever had. Being so close to her femoral artery, hearing her blood pumping through her veins, should have amplified my bloodlust by tenfold. But it didn’t. Sure, I could smell her blood, but I wasn’t even the slightest bit tempted. My thirst was of a completely other kind.

Bella immediately moved her hands to my head, weaving her fingers through my hair. She didn’t use any pressure, but her message was clear. She was trying to make sure I stayed right where I was. I chuckled.

“Seems like, you do enjoy this after all.” I remarked, giving her another quick lick. “Don’t worry, darlin’. I have no intention to stop. I always finish what I start.” I reassured her, teasing her entrance with one of my fingers. “Hmmm … You are so wet, so warm …” I murmured, slowly breaching her with my forefinger. “Urgh … and tight.” I moaned in unison with Bella. “I can hardly wait to feel you wrapped around my cock … fucking your tight pussy until you won’t be able to walk the next day.” She moaned even louder than before.

‘Interesting … my girl likes it when I talk dirty.’ I stored that knowledge away for future reference. Right now my mouth was busy. I began to lick her in earnest, while moving my finger slowly in and out of her pussy at the same time. She was really tight, but slick enough that I soon felt comfortable to add a second one, slowly but surely increasing the tempo.

“Oh … yes …” She moaned loudly, pressing down, beginning to fuck herself on my fingers without inhibition. I could tell she was close, both by her emotions and by the tightening of her muscles.

“Let go. Cum for me, my mate.” I encouraged her, increasing the pressure on her clit as well. When I bit down, gently, careful not to hurt her, Bella arched her back and then her entire body went rigid. Her walls clamped down, and she shuddered, releasing around my fingers. I removed them immediately, only to replace them with my tongue, allowing her to ride out her orgasm on it. I eagerly lapped up every drop she had to offer, groaning and moaning the entire time. I would never tire of this taste. It was pure heaven. I cleaned her thoroughly with my tongue, enjoying each one of her little aftershocks, gently bringing her down from her high.

Then I crawled up her body, claiming her mouth with a searing kiss. Bella opened her mouth eagerly, and I plunged my tongue right in, allowing her to taste herself. She wasn’t disgusted, not at all. If anything her desire reawakened once again. I pulled away when I felt her need to breathe, looking into her deep brown eyes, shining with satisfaction and love.

“Wow …” Bella breathed. “That was … amazing. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Darlin’. It was truly my pleasure.” I purred, waggling my eyebrows. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she giggled. I rolled on my back, pulling her with me. She rested her head on my chest, trying to calm her still slightly erratic breathing. I fed of her satisfied state of mind, but it wasn’t enough … not even close.

My cock was so painfully hard by this point, not only begging to be released from its confines but also hoping, no expecting some sort of reciprocation. Almost like she was able to read my thoughts Bella’s hands travelled down to the hem of my shirt, tugging, silently asking me to take it off. Who was I to deny her this simple request? And to be honest I physically needed to feel her hands on me again. In next to no time I rid myself of my shirt. I leaned back and closed my eyes, waiting for what she would do.

At first she let just travel her warm hands over my chest, mapping out the territory, like this morning, when she’d touched my back. And I truly enjoyed that. But then she leaned down, kissing my scars, gently, almost reverently, like she was trying to remove all the ugly memories of my past and replace them with happy ones. And without a doubt, my mate had a healing touch. My sigh of contentment turned into a constant sound of purring.

Suddenly her hand traveled south, over my still covered but very obvious erection. My eyes snapped open. She locked her gaze with mine, asking for permission to go on. I simply nodded, not trusting my voice.

Lowering my zipper, she licked her lips reflexively and tugged my pants over my hips, finally freeing my erection.

“Wow.” She breathed, blushing furiously.

“I take it you like what you see?” I said, proudly, with a smirk on my face. I was very well endowed, even before I’d become a vampire. As they say, everything is bigger in Texas.

First she seemed to be a little worried, concerned even, like she was wondering if it would ever fit, but she certainly did like what she saw. She licked her lips again, causing me to groan. I wanted nothing more than to feel her luscious lips wrapped around my hard cock, sucking me off. “Yes.” She finally managed to get out.

I didn’t dare to ask her to give me a blowjob. This was her first time. Everything was up to her. If she wanted to do it, I wouldn’t have stopped her. Bella reached out and wrapped her tiny hand around my stiff member. Her fingertips weren’t touching. But having her touch me this way at all, was enough to lose my control, and soon.

“So smooth.” She murmured, slowly, tenderly moving her hand up and down my cock, using the drops of pre-cum as lubrication. She carefully increased the tempo, always observing my response to each change. I bucked my hips, letting her know that I enjoyed myself, encouraging her to use more strength and quicken the pace. I knew I wouldn’t last long; I was so wound up. A part of me wanted to prolong this sensation, but the bigger part of me really needed a release.

Surprisingly this time, a still far-away noise was able to break through the muddled state of my mind. The sound was getting louder by the second, informing me that a car was coming down the lane, only leading here and nowhere else. There was no doubt in my mind. I knew who this car belonged to. It was the familiar sound of Emmett’s jeep.

Their timing truly sucked.

“Fuck, no!” I cursed under my breath. My frustration was hard to miss in my voice. In fact it was evident in my entire demeanor. I had been so fucking close, my orgasm just out of reach. I didn’t want her to stop … not now or ever. But unfortunately there wasn’t enough time left for me to reach completion. I huffed and placed a hand over Bella’s, purposely yet very reluctantly stopping her ministrations. I opened my eyes and locked them with hers.

Misinterpreting my action and my facial expression, she withdrew her hand instantly, with a frown on her beautiful face. “Did … did I do something wrong?” She stammered, self-conscious as always. I wasn’t really surprised by her wrong assumption. It was so Bella. I sat up, pulling her into my arms at once.

“No, my sweet darlin’, of course not. What gives you that idea? It was wonderful, absolutely perfect.” I reassured her, not only with words, but with a dose of my still intense desire for her. To further prove me point, I gingerly grabbed her hand, placing it back on my still hard cock, moaning at the contact. “Does this answer your question?” I purred, challenging her with a look.

She smiled timidly, blushing slightly. “Yes … but I … well … you know …”

I didn’t let her finish, stopping her silly rambling with a quick, but passionate kiss. I knew we didn’t have a lot of time, before my sibling would come bursting through the front door, but I needed her to get passed her insecurities. “Bella, you have no idea how much I want to continue this. You drive me crazy with your mere presence, even more so with your warm hands and soft lips, all over my body. I know you don’t have any experiences, but it doesn’t matter to me. You are just perfect. I love you and I want you … all of you, all the time. Never doubt that.

“But I’m afraid unfortunately now is not the time to prove it. Emmett and Rose will be here shortly.” I finished.

Bella nodded, sighing. I could tell that she believed me. I could feel her relief, and her embarrassment about doubting me in the first place. “Oh, okay … I’m just … wait, what? Emmett and Rose are here … Oh, my God!” She exclaimed, jumping hysterically out of my embrace and then out of the bed. She blushed furiously … from top to bottom, while she was frantically scrambling around the room to find all of her clothes. I chuckled, but she simply ignored me, continuing her search.

“Mmmh, I’ve always wondered where your blush would end.” I mused, smirking. “Now I know.” 

She snapped her head up, glaring at me. “Now is not the time for fun and games, Jasper!” She growled, blushing even more under my intense gaze. I was practically devouring her with my eyes. And how could I not, she was stunning, gorgeous, sexy … in other words good enough to eat … well only figuratively speaking of course. Her blood wasn’t tempting me at all.

I chuckled again, biting my tongue. I knew in her current state it wouldn’t be sensible to antagonize her further with another sly comeback. Instead I finally left the bed myself. I did my best to will away my erection, which wasn’t easy given the circumstances, but I managed. I refastened my pants and picked up my shirt from the floor, quickly pulling it back on.

In the meantime Bella had only managed to put back on her underwear. She was very nervous, understandably though. We both didn’t know what to expect exactly. Everything was possible, from wary acceptance to full-on rejection. I went over to where Bella stood. I stopped her mid-process of redressing, pulling her into a comforting hug. “Shhh, sweetheart, don’t stress yourself. Don’t worry, darlin’, I’m sure everything will be fine.” I soothed her.

“If you say so.” She grumbled into my chest. She sounded just as uncertain as I was, but I tried my best to hide it from her, not sure if I succeeded.

“Whatever happens, we will stick together. I love you … always and forever.” I vowed. I placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up and sealing my promise with a soft, but deep kiss.

“I love you, too, Jasper.” She sighed against my lips. We both didn’t want to but we knew it was necessary that we parted.

“How about you go into the bathroom and get dressed there. I will go downstairs to greet them. Just take your time … and come down when you’re ready, okay?” I proposed. She nodded in agreement, very grateful for being granted some extra time to prepare herself for the upcoming reunion with her former favorite brother and his wife. We kissed one last time, before departing.

While Bella disappeared into the bathroom, to freshen up and get fully dressed, I went downstairs. I picked up Bella coat from the floor by the door, and threw it over a chair in the kitchen. I knew this wouldn’t help. There was no way to hide or deny the fact that Bella was here, or that we had been intimate just a few minutes ago. She might be able to somewhat wash of my scent, but I didn’t have the same option. Not that it mattered. To my knowledge her truck was still packed in front of the house, right on display and her scent was all over the place. Not to mention Bella’s heartbeat was the only one for miles. Only a complete fool would miss all those clues. And my sister, at least, wasn’t one. In fact she has never been easy to deceive. She saw everything. Just like my Bella.

I could hear the car come to a halt, and soon after two doors were being opened and then slammed shut. I stood in the middle of the living room, waiting.

A moment later the door opened and my blond sister entered the room. “Nice ride outside. Yours?” Rose asked, dropping a bag by the door. She glanced around the room, but it was more in a reflex than anything else. As far as I was able to tell from her emotions, she hadn’t realized that Bella was here. ‘How odd.’

“Well hello to you too, I suppose.” I said, with a smirk on my face. “No, it’s not mine. It’s Charlotte’s new baby.” 

She laughed, throwing herself at me, hugging me tightly. She was more than happy to see me, relieved actually. She had truly missed me. I returned her hug with the same enthusiasm. It was so good to see her. I noticed her taking in a deep breath, before she tensed and her whole body went rigid in my arms. She growled slightly.

‘Here we go …’

Rose let go of me, taking a deliberate step back. I braced myself for whatever reaction would come. But she didn’t make a scene like I’d expected. In fact, she didn’t say anything, not a word. She simply stood there, taking another deep breath, obviously still tasting the air. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for more evidence. Like that was even necessary at this point. I knew she could smell Bella’s scent in the air, and on me. She also must have heard her heartbeat on the upper level. Finally her golden eyes landed back on me.

“So, Jasper, my dear brother. Is there anything you’d neglected to tell me on the phone?” She asked, grinning. She knew that Bella was here. But I couldn’t sense any animosity, just curiosity and a heavy dose of amusement.

‘What the hell?’

Before I was able to answer her question my brother showed up at the door, carrying three more bags. He dropped them unceremoniously on the floor, booming. “Hey, bro. What did I miss?”


	24. Firsts

Bella POV

 

I looked into the mirror above the sink. My reflection made me blush and smile at the same time. My hair was tousled, my face was still flushed, and my lips were visibly swollen from all the kissing. I surely looked like someone who’d just had a lot of fun. And I felt like it too. In fact my whole body still tingled slightly with the residual energy left from the incredible, mind-blowing orgasm Jasper had just given me.

“What a head rush … followed by a large bucket of icy-cold water …” I grumbled the last part, recalling the unpleasant reason for putting things to an abrupt halt.

Of course neither Jasper nor I wanted to stop, but being caught in the act by Emmett and Rose wasn’t high on my to-do-list, far from it actually, which was why I was currently hiding in the bathroom, getting freshened up and redressed. Jasper was downstairs waiting to greet his siblings. I just hoped he would be able to defuse their first reaction. There was no doubt in my mind that they would figure out without actually seeing me in person. They would be able to smell me, not to mention to hear my heartbeat. My truck, parked right in front of the house was a big neon sign, very hard to miss.

I wasn’t really hiding, but to tell the truth, I still needed some time before I made my presence known to them by actually showing myself. And looking like I did right now, wasn’t going to work for me.

I turned on the faucet, splashing cold water into my face. I still felt hot from all the excitement, and I was definitely in need of some refreshment. I sighed. The coldness of the water felt simply amazing, helping me to cool down, but at the same time bringing back the memory of Jasper’s touch. The slight difference in our skin temperature didn’t bother me at all, if anything it seemed to make every sensation even more intense.

I was still wondering why Jasper didn’t feel as cold as any other vampire. When I’d touched Peter’s skin today, he felt just as icy as Edward. Was this a mate thing or just me?

I shook my head. Now was not the time to ponder over this, but I made a mental note to ask Char later. With her insight in all things soul mates, she might have some real answers for me. I was sure Jasper was wondering the same, but oddly he hasn’t mentioned it either.

It wasn’t my first orgasm, of course. I was far from innocent … even before I met Edward. Yes, I’d told him that I was a virgin, and I hadn’t lied about that. But I was a normal (sort of), healthy, hormone-driven eighteen-year-old teenager, for crying out loud, and I had natural urges. I might not let them control me, but sometimes … well they just needed to be fulfilled … anyway, anyhow. And since I’ve never had any intention to give myself to just anyone, I had to meet my requirements in another way, so to speak.

‘And masturbating can be fun …’ I mused, while I was drying my face and my hands with the fluffy white towel.

It surely was, but more importantly it certainly helped to take off the edge, to help me unwind whenever I felt too horny. Well, to put it bluntly, sometimes I just needed to scratch the itch. And of course, as any normal teenager it helped me to learn more about my body, and its responses to certain touches.

But this … Jasper touching me, not only with his hands, but his lips and tongue … this was so much more, so much better than I’d imagined it would be. He’d given me what was by far the best, the most intense orgasm I’ve ever experienced. And something told me, this was just the beginning. I was sure it would only get better with time … and with every further step we’d take of our mutual exploration of our bodies.

At first I had been a little nervous, not knowing what to expect, how to respond. Sure, the concept of performing oral sex wasn’t unknown to me. But reading about it in theory and experiencing it in reality were two complete different things. Of course, I had been aware that Jasper could smell me, and I couldn’t say that I was completely comfortable with that fact. Not that I smelt bad or anything, but still. And having him tasting me, down there … well let’s just say I had been apprehensive at best … as to how he would react to my ‘flavor’, for the lack of a better term.

Of course, Jasper had sensed my nerves, telling me in his usual soothing tone of voice, that I would enjoy this. And he had been right (who was I to doubt a hundred and fifty year old vampire and his sexual prowess). One flick of his tongue against my joy spot, and all the angst, all my doubts had evaporated into thin air, and I’d given myself over to this incredible sensation, eagerly. And according to his feelings which he had been projecting the entire time, he had been enjoying this as much as I had … maybe even more so.

Despite my still nagging doubts whether I would be able to live up to his expectations, at the time I had been willing to return the favor, but after taking one look at his cock, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to do that. His cock was beautiful for sure, but it was also very, very huge. Even though I had no one to compare him to, I knew that Jasper was above average in that department. Maybe it was a vampire thing, but somehow I doubted that.

My stomach did these weird flip-flops again. I remembered listening to some girls in the gym locker room one day, as they were talking about their experiences and their preferences. According to them, having a well-endowed man was something good, something every woman supposedly wanted. Right now I wasn’t so sure, if it was a good or bad thing. Sure, his cock felt nice, very nice, smooth and silky, and the sight of it had made me hunger for more than just a touch of my hand.

But seriously … how in the hell was this thing going to fit inside me, without tearing me apart?

I knew that the first time was going to hurt, that was a given, no matter if it was with a vampire or a human. But in this case – losing my virginity – I was sure that size really would make a difference … at least it was something to take into serious consideration.

But then again, I wasn’t really afraid, more like overly anxious. I knew that Jasper wouldn’t rush me, wouldn’t force me to do anything until I was a hundred percent sure I was ready for it.

Jasper loved me, and I trusted him completely, that was all that mattered to me. He would never do anything to hurt me, intentionally or otherwise. I knew he would try his best to make my first time as painless and pleasurable as possible … and I had no doubt that he would totally succeed with the pleasure part. But who knew, maybe his gift would come in handy regarding the other part. He surely would be able to sense any sign of pain, before I would even be able to voice it.

I walked over to the toilet where I had placed my clothes. I took my time getting dressed, not overly eager to leave this room yet.

Thinking about losing my virginity, my mind suddenly went back to the day Angela had told me about her first time with Ben. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic when it came to love and sex, which was why I’d waited for so long to even consider taking this step. I’ve always wanted my first time to be perfect … like every other girl …

 

\+ + + Flashback + + +

 

It was three months after Edward’s departure. I was making some noticeable progress, finally beginning to feel like myself again. Angela had played a big part in my recovery process, never pushing but always being there for me, in case I needed someone to talk to. I just hoped she thought the same about me.

I’ve always liked her, but due to my blind obsession with THEM, I’ve never taken the time to get to know her better. Fortunately, things have changed now.

Over the past few weeks Angela and I had spent more and more time together outside of school. Not every day but on a regular basis, mostly just hanging out, talking about a lot of things, but of course mostly avoiding a certain subject – the Cullens … and particularly HIM.

Sometimes I helped her babysitting her younger twin brothers, and today was one of those days. Angela’s parents were out on a date, which I thought was rather sweet. Seeing them still being very much in love after all those years made my heart melt and ache simultaneously. Well, maybe there was hope after all … even for me … to find that special someone, the one that sticks by you, no matter what.

The little troublemakers were already asleep, and Angela and I were currently launching on her bed, listening to some tunes and reading some girly magazines to pass the time until her parents would be back. We’d planned to go to the movies later.

Angela leaned against the headboard, with her legs crossed, while I rested comfortably on my stomach on the far end of her bed. We were engrossed in our choice of literature for the evening, which I thought was hilarious, since we both normally didn’t give much about any kind of gossip. But reading about the lives of movie stars and other celebrities, and even all those tips on all things beauty … well I had to admit they were kinda entertaining.

“Bella?” Angela called my attention again, but this time something was off. Her voice was too wary, too serious. It was obvious, that she wasn’t about to share another, hilarious piece of information with me, like she‘d done a couple of times before. No, this time it was about something else entirely.

I lifted my head, looking up at her. “Yeah?”

Angela was biting her lip, frowning in contemplation, and then suddenly shaking her head vehemently. “Ah … just forget it. It’s nothing.” She said, waving her hand dismissively, and diverting her eyes back to the magazine in her hand.

“No, Angela, you can’t just do that. I know you want to ask me something. Just spit it out. What is it?” I encouraged her, not entirely sure I wanted to know what was on her mind. But I owed her the same courtesy she’s always shown me.

She sighed heavily. “It’s about … um, it’s about Edward.” She whispered HIS name, sneaking a peak at me from under her eyelashes to gauge my reaction. I flinched. I simply couldn’t help it. It might not hurt as much anymore, but I still wasn’t over it completely. HIS name and that of his family was still banned from my own home, but that was more Charlie’s doing than mine … at least nowadays. Contrary to my father, I never felt hate, only pain and disappointment, like I was experiencing right now, when Angela mentioned HIS name. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about him. And I totally understand. And of course you don’t have to answer, but I’ve been wondering … have you and him … ahem … you know …” She trailed off, blushing. This was one more thing we had in common, aside from our sharp wit and sense of loyalty. Even though, THEY had hurt me greatly, I’ve never dared to spill their secret. I would take that to my grave …

I knew what she was referring to, even without her putting it into actual words. In fact, I knew that a lot of my classmates had been wondering about the same thing. Did Edward Cullen pop Bella’s cherry? I had heard them talking, or more like discussing the subject behind my back many times, even before THEIR departure, when I was still with HIM. The difference right here and now was that Angela didn’t ask because she needed to quench her thirst for all things gossip, like Jess or Lauren. No, I could sense another reason behind her question, which was probably why I was willing to answer her question in the first place.

“No, we didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re asking.” I grumbled. I didn’t mean to sound angry, but it was a sore subject for me.

“Did you … did you not want to?” She pressed, finally meeting my gaze.

I pulled myself up, throwing the magazine on the floor, mirroring her sitting position, preparing myself for what I was sure would become a longer conversation. “Oh, of course I did.” I said, scoffing. “HE was the one who didn’t want to take our physical relationship further.”

“Really?” She sounded so surprised, that I had to laugh.

“Yeah, believe it or not, Edward is very old-fashioned. Actually, we didn’t even make past first base.” And even that we had barely managed without him losing control. Or so he’d claimed … always using the call of my blood and his strength as an excuse to stop things before they had even begun. Sure, I’d tolerated the other part of his reasoning. He’d been raised in a different era, with different moral standards. And I probably would have waited to have sex with him for as long as would have taken him to get ready to take that step. But what I still couldn’t fathom was his unwillingness to have any kind of sexual relationship before marriage. I knew there was still a teenager trapped inside his frozen body, a teenager with the same ragging hormone as I. But he’d never made a move, never even trying to get a feel. We could have taken things slow, testing our boundaries. I knew that his control was just as good as Carlisle’s. Which made me wonder, and not for the first time, whether he had been interested in me that way at all. Maybe I wasn’t attractive enough for him. Maybe my boobs should have been bigger. But maybe … just maybe he was gay? Well, that was a funny thought, one I didn’t put too much stock into. I was pretty sure that HE was not gay.

But of course I couldn’t tell Angela any of that, couldn’t share any of my musings with her. It would raise too many questions, questions I wouldn’t be able to answer.

“Oh … then you are still a virgin?” She whispered the last part, glancing past me at her door, which was still open.

“Does that bother you?” I chuckled, hopping of the bed. I closed the door quickly but silently, turning around to face her again. “Better?” I taunted her, making my way back to the bed.

“Very funny, Bella! You seem to forget that my father is a cleric.” She gave me a pointed look.

“Of course, not. But he isn’t here right now, is he?” I shot back.

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” Angela shrugged. I sniggered at her disgruntled expression. I knew her parents weren’t very strict. They had been okay with Angela’s and Ben’s relationship. But I guessed that she wasn’t quite comfortable talking about sex with them. Hell, even I hadn’t been quite comfortable talking to my Mom about this subject, and she was very liberal, a true free spirit.

I retook my place at the end of her bed. “So what brought this on? Your sudden interest in my sexual status, I mean.” I clarified, watching her reaction very closely. Her blush renewed, and suddenly it dawned on me. She had popped the question for one specific reason and one reason only … to compare notes. “Oh, my God. You and Ben …” I gasped, clapping a hand over my mouth. Now I understood her weird behavior, her reason for wanting me to close the door. Dating was one thing, but having sex before marriage … wow we really were two peas in a pod.

“Nothing gets by you.” Angela remarked dryly. She didn’t even realize how right she was with that assessment. But what she didn’t know was that my power of observation didn’t always work into my favor. I had learned that the hard way.

“When?” I pushed the issue with some care, trying not to sound too nosy. I knew they had broken up at the end of the summer, shortly before my disastrous birthday party. They hadn’t made a big deal out of it, no big fighting scenes at the school. It almost seemed like their separation was of a mutual kind. But now I wasn’t so sure anymore.

“It happened only once … after Tyler’s birthday party in August.” Angela admitted, keeping her eyes down, nervously playing with her fingers, like she was waiting for my judgment.

“How … how was it?”

“Mostly awkward … and it hurt … a lot. More than I’d imagined it would. Maybe because we both were a little drunk and inexperienced … we certainly didn’t know what we were doing.” She said, shrugging. She sounded detached than anything, almost more clinical. My heart went out for her. “But I think it had more to do with the fact that we weren’t really ready … or at least I wasn’t.”

“Then why did you do it?” I pressed, shocking myself more than her with my demanding tone of voice. “I’m sorry, Angela. I don’t mean to judge you or anything.”

She gave me a small, warm smile. “It’s okay, Bella. It’s a valid question. And I’m glad to finally have someone to talk about it. I can hardly turn to my mother. I’m sure she would freak out, if she knew.

“Anyway, at the time I thought I kinda had to … don’t get me wrong he didn’t force me or anything, not really. But you know how guys can get, when they really want something. He was quite persuasive in a cute, boyish kind of way, and I loved him, so I thought why not. But it was mostly awkward and unpleasant … especially the initial pain. All in all, it wasn’t what I’d expected. It wasn’t special.”

“I’m sorry. Did you … I mean did he at least … you know?”

“Make me come?” Angela filled in the blanks, suddenly losing all her earlier inhibitions. I nodded, smirking.

“No … that stupid looser didn’t know what he was doing half the time. I’m sure he didn’t even know where my clitoris was. It was all over before it’d even begun.” She complained, and we both giggled … like normal teenage girls. This sharing thing was certainly a new experience for me, and apparently for Angela as well. I moved to her side, throwing my arm around my friend’s shoulder. She leaned into me, allowing me to hold and comfort her.

“Is this why you broke up?” I had to ask.

“It’s only part of the reason. After that disastrous first time, of course he wanted to do it again but I told him no. He claimed he understood, that he was willing to give me more time, but I didn’t believe him. Two weeks later after many more attempts to get me into his bed again I broke with him.

“Well, you are probably wondering why everything went down so smooth … given that he is a boy and everything … but you have to know that I made it very clear, that if he told any tall tales about our breakup, I would make sure that everybody, and I mean everybody in our school, including the bitch squad would know how tiny his penis is. Working at the school paper does have its perks, I guess.” She chuckled, wickedly. “I think he got the message. And deep down I think he knew we wouldn’t have lasted anyway … come on what with all the different interests we had. I’m telling you, I’m so glad I don’t have to listen to him nagging about some stupid ninja movie. It was very tiresome.”

I was stunned. Who knew Angela had it in her? She was always the quiet, shy girl in school, but apparently underneath it she really was a force to be reckoned with. She had quite the spirit. I was in awe of her inner strength, but not really sure if it wasn’t just a front. We didn’t know each other that well. “But you are okay now? I mean with all that’d happened?”

Angela moved around in order to face me. “Yes, Bella, I am, I truly am.” She smiled warmly. I could tell from the look on her face that she was touched by my words, by my thoughtfulness. “Thanks for your concern. It means a lot. You are a good friend … my best friend actually. And I’m glad to have you, not only to share things like that with you of course, but I’m glad I finally got it of my chest.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it in recognition, thus showing her that my feelings were mutual. “I guess that what true friends are for.”

“Yes. But sometimes it also is a friend’s job to say things you might not want to hear.” Angela pointed out. “I know you are still hurting, and I get it. Edward was your first love and he broke your heart. Been there, done that. You’ll get over it.” Her words might have been harsh, but she didn’t sound cold and detached at all. If anything she sounded really mature, using almost the same words like my mother had a couple of weeks ago. And the effect was just the same. It wasn’t a lecture, just a friendly advice.

Angela took a deep breath, before she continued. “Anyhow … just be grateful you hadn’t gone any further with you-know-who. Someone like him isn’t worth of such a gift … God that sounds cheesy … but it’s true. I wish I’d waited … for the right one.” She sighed. “But what’s done is done. And I have faith that we both will find someone, who’s just right for us.”

 

\+ + + End of Flashback + + +

 

I pulled myself out of my memory, smiling at my image in the mirror. Angela was just as romantic as me when it came to love. Her first love was just as disappointing as mine, but she had never given up hope. I just wished that she would get as lucky as me and find someone to complement her as much as Jasper did me. She certainly deserved to be happy.

After that day Angela and I hadn’t revisited this particular subject again … not in greater detail anyway. Whenever the subject of former boyfriends did come up, in one way or another, I’ve always had to tell half truths. It was hard for me. I hated lying and I knew I wasn’t good at it. And it always made me feel like I was betraying her trust. Angela had shown me a great deal of trust in telling me about her first time. But I knew I had to do it, in order to keep her save.

Angela had easily managed to fill the void Alice had left behind. To tell the truth she has proven to be a better friend than Alice ever was. I had been aware of this fact even before I’d found out what she’d done to Jasper. Angela was always there for me, to comfort me or to kick my ass. She always seemed to know what I needed, without acting all controlling. She called me perceptive, but she was just as insightful. I knew it had nothing to do that she was a human and Alice a vampire. It was their personalities that set them apart, not their species.

Like Ben was Angela’s, Edward was my first everything … my first boyfriend, the first one who’d told me ‘I love you’ and the first who’d broken my heart, making me feel unworthy, unwanted.

‘Congratulations! Job well done …’

Before Jasper, Edward had been the first man I had been attracted to in a sexual way. I thought it was kinda funny, but no human had ever had the same effect on me. Sure, I’d had a crush on a boy or two back in Phoenix, but nothing serious. Maybe it was weird, but then again, with what I knew now it was obvious that I was always destined to end up with a vampire … just not the one I thought.

Edward had given me my first kiss, but he’d never gone further than that. He had claimed that it was too dangerous, which was why he hadn’t even dared to kiss me properly in the first place.

‘Dangerous my ass …’ I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Jasper had just proven that it was very much possible for a vampire to have a sexual relationship with a human without causing irreparable damage.

In fact Jasper never showed any sign of fear or reservation, whenever he kissed or touched me. Although, I was pretty sure he did hold back to some extent, simply out of necessity, human versus vampire strength and all that, but he always let me know how much he desired me … with his gift as well as his actions. And well, let’s just say that my teenage hormones went through the roof the first time we’ve kissed.

Things certainly had changed for the better … rapidly and irrevocably. It had taken only one kiss, and I knew Jasper was the one I wanted to be with, was destined to be with. I could feel that even before I’d known about us being soul mates. I wanted to be his, all the way. And I was ready, not to mention very eager, to take that step with him.

Right now I was very grateful for Edward’s restraint, because when I finally would have sex for the first time it would be with someone I truly loved. And quite frankly, I’ve never wanted Edward the way I wanted Jasper. I literally ached for his touch, his kisses, him.

But more importantly Jasper had proven to me that I was worth it … worth waiting for, worth fighting for, worth changing for … in one word: worth everything.

I should have believed him the first time he’d tried to tell me that, but apparently back then I wasn’t ready to hear it. Maybe the time hadn’t been right, or the circumstances. Or maybe at the time I’d wanted to hear those exact words from someone else. But whatever the reason was, it didn’t matter anymore.

I was finally fully dressed and ready to leave the bathroom. There wasn’t much I could do about my hair, running my fingers through it didn’t help much to disentangle the mess. I flattened it as best as I could. It had to do.

But why should I care what they would think of me or my relationship with Jasper anyway? I was a grown woman. I was mature enough to make my own decisions, thank you very much. I’d had enough of people telling me what do in the past. I was so over that.

True, I had no idea how they would react. Rose and I have never been close. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her; I just hadn’t had the chance to get to know her. Just like it had been with Jasper. But after reading the letter she had left behind for him, I had seen a different side of her, one she had never shown to me, and I hoped that she would be as accepting as Peter and Charlotte. And given that she has always been the closest to Jasper, she should be able to see how happy he was now, shouldn’t she?

Emmett, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. Next to Edward and Alice he had been the one I’d felt the closest to. From the very beginning he had acted like true older brother, constantly making fun of me and my weird human ways (his words not mine), but at the same time he was capable of showing fierce protectiveness like when James had decided to make me his next meal.

There was no front when it came to Emmett. He was always true to his feelings. He laughed when he was happy, he pouted when he wasn’t getting his way. It was safe to say that I’d missed him dearly. And I had taken his disappearance just as bad as Edward’s or Alice’s, maybe even more so. I knew that he would be harder to convince than his wife.

But again, what did it matter? It wasn’t like I was seeking their approval. I didn’t owe them anything, no explanation, no justification. They didn’t even deserve my (usual fast) forgiveness. They had left me, not the other way around. Rationally I knew that we were in need of their help, at least concerning the werewolf problem. But I was sure that Jasper and Peter would have no problem to take care of Laurent all by themselves.

Sure, I had no right to order them away in case they would decide to act up. After all, it was their house, not mine. But I was ready to fight, to stand my ground. Silly, immature Bella was no more. I would show them how much I’ve changed.

But whatever would happen next, one thing was for sure. Jasper and I, we belonged together, end of story. No one would be able to get between us.

With that in mind, I squared my shoulders and exited the bathroom. I could hear Jasper and Rose talking downstairs, but I couldn’t make out the words. Damn vampires, couldn’t they use a normal volume, making it easier for the human to eavesdrop? Apparently not. But at least there was no shouting … yet. I didn’t know whether I should take comfort in that fact or not. In fact it made me rather uneasy. It felt like the calm before the storm.

I tiptoed down the hall towards the staircase, in order to get closer, but not yet ready to show myself. I would wait for the right moment.


	25. Not an easy start

Rose POV

 

There were two vehicles parked in the overgrown driveway … a rusty, old truck, blocking the entrance to the garage, and a black Mercedes. Emmett pulled in behind the latter. For a moment I wondered which one belonged to Jasper. My money was on the Mercedes. It wasn’t the newest model, but it was definitely in much better shape than the truck.

As soon as Emmett stopped the engine, I was out, instantly followed by my mate.

“You just go ahead, I’ll get the luggage.” Emmett offered, already popping up the trunk.

And I did what he’d said, quickly grabbing my bag containing all my personal items from the backseat, and then I made my way into the house.

Jasper stood in the middle of the room, clearly awaiting our arrival … almost like a bellboy or a receptionist in a hotel, only dressed inappropriately. Don’t get me wrong, he looked more like himself now, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, instead of the fancy pants and shirts Alice had forced upon him. This right here was the real Jasper, the one I’d missed the most, even before we left Forks last September. And somehow I got the feeling that it wasn’t just the change of clothes that made him look like that. There was something else; I just didn’t know what it was … at least not yet anyway.

“Nice ride outside. Yours?” I asked. I knew it wasn’t my best opening line, but it was the first thing that came to mind. And to be honest I felt I needed some sort of an icebreaker. I dropped my bag on the floor, carefully though, bearing in mind that it contained a laptop.

I glanced around the room. It was only six months since we’ve left this house and it should feel like coming home, but it didn’t. Instead I was having this strange, eerie feeling of misplacement. Too many bad things happened here, things that had triggered so many changes, changes that couldn’t be reversed. Though I truly loved this house, I knew I could never call it my home again.

My gaze finally went back to Jasper, who was shifting uncomfortably, giving off some very weird vibes. He was tense, too tense for my liking. Was he hiding something from me? Or did he just not know how to act around me?

“Well hello to you too, I suppose.” He said, with a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No, it’s not mine. It’s Charlotte’s new baby.”

I decided to simply ignore his weird attitude and his snippy comment, and just threw myself at him, laughing. I was so happy to see him again, and I couldn’t contain myself any longer. I was glad when he finally relaxed into my hug, enveloping me in a cocoon of his own joy. I was relieved to find out that his feelings were mutual, despite his first reaction. I drew in a deep breath.

Without the constant need for oxygen, it was actually the first one since I’d entered the house. What a huge mistake on my part! But there it was, the strange but yet very familiar scent, not only polluting the air of the entire living room, but clinging to pretty much every inch of my brother’s skin …

‘Bella fucking Swan … you’ve gotta be kidding …’

I couldn’t believe that I missed it … the steady heartbeat, the regular breathing, the hum of the fridge, or the faint residual stench of human food … all those tiny but unmistakable signs, indicating only one thing. Bella was here, right now. I growled slightly, more out of habit than anything else. I wasn’t angry, more like a little irritated, and a little disappointed. But mostly I was surprised. What was she doing here? And why in the heck was her scent all over Jasper?

I disentangled myself, taking a deliberate step back. The sheepish look on Jasper’s face told me all I needed to know. And he knew it too. His facial expression was pretty priceless.

‘Yes, my dear brother … you are so busted …’

So this was it? This was the thing he’d been trying to hide from me? Was this the reason why he acted so strangely? Jasper looked at me, rather anxiously, like he was expecting me to freak out. Perhaps I would have, if it wasn’t for the happiness I could detect in his eyes. I took in another breath. Yes, her scent was strong, which meant she had been here for quite some time. And there was something else. I could distinctly smell the evidence of sex.

‘Oh, my … he didn’t, did he? Oh, this just too good to be true … Edward would flip if he knew … not that I am going to tell him … although I am tempted …’

“So, Jasper, my dear brother. Is there anything you’d neglected to tell me on the phone?” I asked, smirking. From the look on his face, I could tell he clearly wasn’t expecting me to remain calm.

Unfortunately Jasper didn’t get the chance to answer my question, because my husband chose this exact moment to make his appearance. Emmett dropped our bags carelessly by the door. He was just lucky I wasn’t as obsessed as Alice when it came to my possessions, otherwise he would have never done anything like that … once maybe, but not a second time.

“Hey, bro. What did I miss?” Emmett exclaimed excitedly.

‘Apparently quite a lot, honey …’ I thought to myself, stifling the chuckle that threatened to escape my lips. I plopped myself on the couch, waiting for this show to run its course. ‘This is going to be so much fun …’

I knew exactly why I kept my mouth shut. For one, it certainly wasn’t my place to tell Emmett about Jasper’s involvement with Bella, whatever it was. I wasn’t vindictive like that pixie wife of his. And considering that Alice had said they were never meant to be together … not as mates, he wasn’t cheating or anything along that line. But more importantly, the task of telling my mate required a certain amount of finesse … which I lacked. I wasn’t the sensitive type, but Jasper was. Hopefully, his gift would come in handy here. I was pretty sure Jasper was going to need it, because I knew Emmett would certainly not be as accepting as me.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

I barely paid Emmett any attention, keeping my main focus on my sister. Her silence was starting to freak me out. I knew perfectly well that she knew that Bella was here, but it became clearer with each passing second that she wasn’t planning on saying anything about it. I didn’t know if I should be glad that she didn’t just rat me out to my brother, or not. I probably should. I could clearly sense her amusement combined with a dose of mischief. She was up to something.

Rose studiously ignored my inquiring stare, instead looking around the room like she’d never been here before. Well, sure, it had changed since the last time she’d been here. Back then she’d called this place her home. But now it was just an almost empty house, a mere memory. It was kinda sad.

My sister’s eyes finally settled on the wall where I’d thrown Peter against the other day. My brother had placed the material for the repair he’d picked up today right underneath the evident damage. It was quite a lot of stuff, more than we would actually need to fix the crack.

“I see you still haven’t found the time to fix the damage? What … was there something more important you needed to take care of?” She asked offhandedly, but her emotions told a different story. My sister was taunting me. I swallowed back a growl, giving her a glare as an answer instead. “And by the way … you haven’t told me how that happened?” She looked at me with her eyebrows raised.

I didn’t get the change to answer any of her questions, because Peter beat me to the punch. “Can’t you tell from its shape? That’s where the Major had thrown my sorry ass in.” He informed Rose, strolling into the house, like he fucking owned the place. Charlotte followed right behind him. From the looks of it they had been through the woods, literally, and probably on all fours. Yikes. I so didn’t want the image of my siblings doing the deed in my head right now. More than once I’d seen quite more of them than I wanted to know (and of Rose and Emmett as well). I shook my head to rid myself of those disturbing mental pictures, locking my gaze with Peter’s.

‘Thanks jerk, for making it sound like I did it unjustified … but perfect timing, though …’

Peter winked at me, obviously sensing my partial gratitude, but completely ignoring my grimace of annoyance. But given the circumstances, it was probably for the best. And having him and Char around for the big revelation was certainly going be beneficial. As far as I could tell, Rose wasn’t going to be a problem. She was in the loop already, and didn’t seem to have a problem with Bella being here, although she was still radiating a lot of curiosity. But Emmett … well let’s just say filling him in could get dicey.

I hadn’t noticed it before, but Peter was holding a brown paper bag and one of those to-go-cups with something that smelt like coffee in his hands. Apparently they had made a pit-stop at some coffee shop, to pick up something for my mate before making their return to the house.

‘This has to stop. It is my job to take care of her.’ I groaned internally, but deciding to let this matter slide, for now. ‘One problem at the time …’

Charlotte flitted over to Rose’s side and they hugged fiercely. “It’s nice to finally see you again.” They both exclaimed at the same time, causing them to start giggling like school girls.

Emmett’s and Peter’s greeting went over quite differently of course … only a manly pat on the back and a quick ‘hello’. But apart from that, they all were feeling the same, happiness and elation, and a certain need to quench their curiosity.

“What’s with the human food, dude? Did you change your diet?” Emmett joked, eying the items Peter held in his hand.

“Hardly,” Peter snorted, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “This isn’t for me. It’s for the little lady.”

“Who?” Emmett asked, confusion written all over his face. He still hadn’t sensed Bella’s presence in the house. I wouldn’t go so far as calling my brother dense, but sometimes he was a little slow. But then again, even Rose hadn’t picked up Bella’s scent right away.

True, as vampires we did have very keen senses. We could hear a pin drop in a room of thousand people talking and music on at full volume; we could smell how slightest hormonal change did have an effect on the scent of a human’s blood standing a few yards away … the list goes on and on. To a human our abilities might be incredibly fascinating, maybe even something to envy, but to a vampire it both a blessing and a curse. As predators we did need those keen senses. They did help us hunt (our natural or non-natural prey), and they always worked as a sort of defense mechanism, to warn us in time whenever another of our kind was near.

But the constant strain on all of our senses could be quite exhausting, sometimes even nauseating. Especially in the first days after the change the onslaught of stimuli was very confusing, downright scary even. But with time and practice we’d all learned to tune out certain things, concentrating only on the most important sensations. It was definitely easier to accomplish this task in times of peace and quiet.

Considering our different upbringing, Peter, Char and I continued to be on our guard, paying close attention to everything that went on around us, always ready to act accordingly. It was hard to change a habit like that, not that we would want to anyway. ‘Better safe than sorry’ that was our motto. Maybe this was the reason why we’d managed to stay alive for so long … who knew.

But try as we might, we weren’t perfect. There were times when we got too damn distracted, and then certain things could slip our notice. But that happened very rarely to me … well it was before I met Bella, for real. Being around her made me lose focus, especially whenever she was touching me.

But right here and now, I knew I had to pay extra attention. Yes, Bella was just upstairs, but that didn’t mean that I left her alone. All I had to do was splitting my focus in order to keep a close watch on my mate’s emotions, while doing the same with Rose and Emmett down here.

Bella seemed to be doing fine on her own, as far as I could tell. Not for the first time, I had a little trouble to pinpoint her emotional mood exactly. She still continued to close off her emotions from me … even now, knowing that we were mates. But I knew that she didn’t always do it on purpose. She wasn’t having any real control over her gift … or at least not yet anyway. This was why I wasn’t mad at her for doing again, because I knew she trusted and loved me without reservation. And under these particular circumstances I could understand her reluctance to share her feelings.

But even though I couldn’t solely rely on my special gift, I still had my other senses to work for me. By now I was so accustomed to her breathing rhythm and the sound of her heartbeat, that it was easy tell what she was up to or how she was feeling, even though I wasn’t with her in the physical sense.

So of course, I noticed right away when Bella left the bathroom, sneaking down the hall, trying her best to be stealthy, but of course failing completely. And I was fully aware of the fact that my beautiful mate was right up the stairs, waiting in the hallway, hiding from sight, but listening in on our conversation. I was pretty sure that she barely caught on a word, since we were speaking to low for her human ears. Well that was before Emmett opened his mouth.

So it really wasn’t a surprise – at least not for me or Peter or Char – that Bella chose the moment Emmett asked his question about her identity to make her appearance at the top of the stairs.

“Me.” The sound of my angel’s voice rang through the entire room, and all eyes immediately went to her. She was a vision of beauty and strength, walking down the stairs with her shoulders square and her head high. My mate. She was truly magnificent. There was no anxiety in her eyes, only determination … and when she looked at me, I could see love and a great amount of lust.

‘Mine …’ My feet moved on their own accord, closing the distance between me and Bella.

Then I heard a gasp and more than one chuckle coming from behind me, causing me to freeze on spot, still a few feet away from the staircase. I didn’t want to take my eyes off my mate, but my instincts told me I had to see what was going on behind me. There were far too many emotions swirling around to get a clear picture. So I turned around, very reluctantly though, averting my eyes away from my mate.

Peter and Char wore matching grins on their face. Even Rose was smiling. Her emotions hadn’t changed since the first moment she’d realized Bella was here. She was still very curious about the circumstances, which was only natural. But to my surprise, and elation, I couldn’t detect even a smidgen of animosity, no resentment whatsoever coming from her. If anything she seemed to be a little proud of Bella’s cool behavior and this reaction was definitely something I hadn’t expected coming from my sister, considering that she didn’t seem to have many positive feelings about Bella in the past. Beside Emmett, Rose always had been the easiest person to read around the Cullen clan. She was like an open book, not known for holding back her true feelings, or her thoughts. Edward would agree with me on that. Rose could be annoyingly straightforward, but it was part of her charm. Anyhow … I understood her reasons, hell I’d even shared her point of view on many of them back then, but now things have changed … for me, and apparently for Rose as well.

“Bella.” Emmet managed to choke out. Obviously the single gasp of surprise earlier had come from him. He stared at my mate in shock, open-mouthed, like he was trying to say something else, but didn’t know how or what. Many emotions ran over his face. Shock was the most prominent one, quickly followed by guilt. And there was longing, a lot of it. I could feel his struggle, his indecision. I knew he wanted nothing more than to pull her into one of his legendary bear-hugs, apologize and move on from there. But at the same time he was afraid that she might not want to, that she might resent him.

I turned around again. Bella had finally reached the bottom on the staircase. “Emmett, Rosalie … nice to see you again.” She greeted my siblings politely, gracing them with a polite smile, one that didn’t reach her beautiful brown eyes. Then she averted her gaze, looking anywhere but at Emmett or his wife.

“Likewise.” Rose replied with a smirk in her voice. Emmett on the other hand was anything but amused. Strong waves of disappointment and sadness hit me. It was a reasonable reaction on his part, considering his favorite little sister showed him the cold shoulder. He might have expected this, clearly he hadn’t been prepared. But then again, did he actually think she would just forget everything, and act like nothing had happened? Why should he fare better than me?

I tried my best to fight off his feelings, before they could overwhelm me. Instead I concentrated on my mate’s emotions. True, Bella was acting all cool, calm and collected, but I could sense that’s all it was … an act. Deep inside Bella was nervous as hell, but she definitely did her best not to show it. I’d never pictured her as a good actress, but I had to admit she could have fooled even me with that indifferent look on her face.

Peter seemed to sense the tension in the room and decided it was time to step in. His intention was clear. He wanted to lighten the mood for everybody’s sake, but mostly he was concerned about Bella. “Hey there, little pigeon, I brought you something.” He moved past me, holding out his gifts for her, grinning like a fool. “I thought you might need it, what with the all the action today.”

Bella was blushing slightly, but otherwise ignored my brother’s obvious innuendo. She took a last step forward to close the gap between herself and my brother, graciously accepting Peter’s offerings. She moaned, after taking a sniff at the beverage in the cup. That sound went straight to my groin.

‘So not the right time …’ I cautioned myself. Getting a boner right here and now wouldn’t be very helpful, now would it?

“Ah, Peter. You’ve brought me my favorite coffee.” She took a sip, and then she opened the paper bag and smiled. “And blueberry muffins too. Thanks, you are the best.”

“You hear that, Char. I’m the best.” Peter gloated, glancing over to the couch where Charlotte and Rosalie were still sitting comfortably.

“Yeah, yeah … don’t let this go to your head, honey. Seriously Bella, you have to stop stroking his ego, it is big enough as it is.” Char groaned in exasperation, toping that with a roll of her eyes, causing Bella to giggle. Their little banter clearly had a positive effect on my mate’s mood. She began to relax a little more. Exactly what Peter had intended.

“Yeah, I kinda noticed that already.” Bella stated. This time Rose joined into the round of light laughter that followed. Emmett, Peter and I were the only ones who didn’t find this funny … but for different reasons though.

“Hey. This is so not the way to treat your food provider.” Peter complained.

Bella sniggered again at his choice of words, but sobering up, when she took in the pout on my brother’s face. Her emotions told me she wasn’t completely fooled, but felt the need to apologize anyway. “I’m sorry, Peter. Of course, I’m grateful that you look out for me … bringing me food and everything.” Then she placed her hands on his arm, using it as leverage to pull herself up on her tiptoes, only to place a quick, gentle kiss on Peter’s cheek.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Peter POV

 

Never in my wildest, nonexistent dreams had I expected Bella to do something like that. Truly, this girl never ceased to amaze me, or any one of us for that matter. The amount of faith this human girl had in our restraint was really astonishing. Needless to say, I was going to do everything in my power to show her that her faith wasn’t misplaced, and I was sure my mate was on the same page. Bella was too damn important to all of us, not just to Jasper.

There was no sign of hesitation, fear or revulsion when she touched me. But then again, I would have been very surprised if she’d actually shown anything like that. She was obviously so used to the ‘slight’ temperature difference by now, that she didn’t show any sort of reaction at all, like she didn’t even notice it anymore. We were just people to her, not bloodthirsty, crazed predators.

‘Weird … but I am not going to complain or anything. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and all that …’

Her lack of response to my icy touch made complete sense though, considering the fact that she has been involved with my kind for quite some time now, touching and all. And not to mention the fact that she quite obviously had started to get really physical with my brother … probably only seconds after Char and I had left the house earlier. It was about time, though. The sexual tension between those two lovebirds had been palpable, and strong, and very catching, which was why I’d taken my mate for a little private shag in the woods. Not that we needed the extra boost, but it was nice just the same.

But evidently I had been the only one of us guys who had gotten lucky, the only one who’d scored so to speak … twice, I might add.

It was easy to tell that Bella and Jasper had been interrupted (hopefully not mid-coitus). Jasper was way too tense, a clear sign of his sexual frustration. Poor bastard! He really was in need of some release, and I wasn’t talking about the kind he had found this morning. No, what he needed was a real good fuck (pardon the word), one that lasted hours and then some. Considering she was still human and therefore not as durable as a vampire I doubted that Bella would be up to the challenge.

Anyway … at least he had gotten Bella off in time. But then again that was standard procedure for us Whitlock men; we always made sure that our mates came first, before we allowed ourselves any form of release.

I was pretty certain that Bella would be quite embarrassed if she knew what I knew. Aside from the slight glow on her face, I could smell her scent all over him, and I was sure so could every other vampire in the room … well maybe except for Emmett. He seemed to be the only one who still wasn’t up to date, considering the permanent confused and slightly strained look on his face.

The warmth of Bella’s skin against mine, when she laid her tiny hand on my bare arm was incredible. But that was nothing compared to the feeling of her soft, warm lips against the cool, hard surface of my face. The sensation was very, very pleasurable … though not in a sexual way. But still, I couldn’t stop myself from closing my eyes for a second, and letting out a low sigh of pure contentment.

Major fucking faux pas on both accounts … Bella’s peculiar choice to show her affection and gratitude and then my lapse in self-control … especially now. The atmosphere in the room had been strained enough before but our recent actions made things worse … and fast.

Sure rationally, Jasper knew that there was no need to be jealous, but when it came to our mates … well let’s just say that all reason could go out the window in a matter of seconds, and for no good reason to begin with. So it was no big surprise that Jasper’s possessiveness got the better of him. He crouched and growled in warning, telling me unambiguously to back off, to let go of his mate. And it wasn’t a low growl this time, and unfortunately not the only one. The second growl came from Emmett, but his wasn’t directed at me.

Then all hell broke loose. Before Bella could comprehend what was going on, Emmett jumped Jasper, pulling him further away from her and me, clearly misreading Jasper’s growl for what it was. Emmett only managed to get a grip on our brother and throw across the room, because Jasper hadn’t seen it coming. His focus had been on me and his mate.

I had barely enough time to pull Bella out of the way, but I managed to do so, even without making her drop the coffee cup or bag with the muffins in the process. It would have been a shame, especially after what I had to endure in that awful stinking coffee shop.

Jasper slammed back first into the wall on the opposite side of the room, very close to the spot I’d landed in the other day. The crack in the wall wasn’t hard to miss. I knew getting more material than actually necessary wouldn’t be a waste of money. Well, I didn’t know know, but I did have a hunch. Call it intuition, or experience, whatever. But to tell the truth, I hadn’t anticipated anything like this to happen, or at least I’d hoped that a physical altercation could be prevented.

But we were nowhere perfect. Hence the situation we were in right now … with Jasper currently pinned by his throat by his brother. Snarls of anger rang through the room. But oddly Jasper didn’t even try to free himself. Yes, Emmett was probably the strongest of us all, physically speaking, but he still was no match for the Major.

Bella quickly cottoned on to what was happening around her. She struggled against my hold, desperately trying to get to Jasper. I could sympathize with her, watching your mate fighting was hard to bear. But what could she do? She was just human. Char flitted to my side, in case I needed help to restrain Bella, which of course I didn’t. Rose on the other hand hadn’t moved an inch from her seat on the couch. She was merely watching, probably knowing that her interference might only make things worse. She shot me a fleeting look, asking me without words what we should or shouldn’t do. I shook my head minutely, and she caught my drift. This was between Jasper and Emmett … and Bella.

When she realized that I wouldn’t budge, Bella turned her head to give me a glare that would put Medusa to shame. Wow, I’ve never expected to see a look like that on her pretty, angelic face. It kinda reminded me of Jasper’s expression just before he would kill somebody … cold and determined, but still fucking beautiful in its glory.

‘Looks like the God of War has truly found his Goddess …’ I mused.

“Let go of me, Peter.” She commanded in a calm, but unrelenting tone. ‘And she sounds just like him, too …’

I knew better than to argue, and loosened my hold on her at once. Apart from the consistent stream of snarls and growls still coming from both Emmett and Jasper, the situation was under control. They didn’t beat the crap out of each other, in fact they didn’t move at all. Rose’s, Char’s and my non-interference might have something to do with it. Apparently our combined calmness was fuelling Jasper’s own, thus helping him to stay focused, and not losing his temper after all. I still didn’t get it why he didn’t just free himself, showing Emmett who was in charge around here, but then again who was I to question the Major’s motives.

Bella stepped out of my embrace, and turned around to face me. “Thanks. Here,” Bella shoved her food into my hands, “Please, hold this for me. I want to finish it later.” She said calmly, with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Sweetie, please be careful.” Char cautioned.

Bella gave my mate a curt nod and a small smile as an answer, and then she turned away from us. “She’ll be fine.” I whispered into my wife’s ear. I was curious to see what she was going to do. But at the same time I was prepared to pull her away if things wouldn’t go as planned.

Bella took in a deep breath, to steady herself, and then she walked over to Emmett and Jasper with the same confidence I had seen a couple of times before. She was truly magnificent. There was no fear, only purpose. She was truly the Major’s match. 

Bella stopped a few feet behind them, keeping a safe distance, just in case. ‘Smart girl …’

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Emmett? Get the hell away from him!” Bella demanded.


	26. Open mouth, insert foot

Jasper POV

 

I had my reasons why I didn’t fight against Emmett’s hold.

True, he was physically stronger than me, but he lacked my fighting expertise. Even with the moves I’d shown him over the years he still had nothing on me. But then again he hadn’t been very receptive to my teachings, always insisting to relay on his physical strength rather than to put some effort into learning some strategic tricks. He probably didn’t even realize how lucky he actually was, never having any reason to obtain any serious tactical and fighting skills to assure his very own survival (and that of his loved ones), not like us Whitlocks.

In the past, fighting with me always had been just for the fun of it, to release some pent up energy. But this was not the case right now. Emmett meant business … well sort of. His grip around my neck was tight but not really painful, at least not to someone like me. Good thing we didn’t have to breathe, though, because he put enough pressure on my windpipe to crush it.

Of course, I could have freed myself with a simple move but I didn’t. I knew it would have only made things worse, if I’d fought back. I had no idea how I managed to fight my instincts, or to fool Emmett in making him believe that I yielded to his authority, but I was glad it was working … so far. I did my best to keep my own feelings under control, pushing as much as calm into him I was able to conjure up, but just enough to keep him at bay.

I didn’t want to sedate him, because I still needed excess to his emotions. His anger was potent, strengthened by his desire to protect, and of course his guilt. In fact, his wish to atone for abandoning my mate just like that was the driving force behind his assault.

‘Good start, bro, attacking her mate … that will get you back in her good graces …’

The poor bastard still had no idea what was going on, which was probably a good thing and part of the reason why I let him manhandle me in the first place. But first and foremost I didn’t want a repeat performance from the other day. I didn’t want to put my mate in danger again of getting hurt. Once was enough.

But maybe I deserved this treatment, to some extent.

Of course, I should have known there was no reason for acting all jealous. Peter would never betray me, or his own mate for that matter. The kiss was all Bella’s doing. Peter had been just as surprised as everybody else in the room. His ensuing feelings had been the reason why I’d snapped. I just couldn’t help myself. My possessiveness had gotten the better of me, and I’d acted on impulse.

‘Nobody touches my mate like that but me …’

Now, being trapped between the wall and Emmett, I made a mental note to talk to Bella later, when we would have a minute to ourselves. She needed to know that she couldn’t do things like that. Surely she thought of it as a harmless gesture, but it wasn’t … not for me, or any other mated male vampire.

Given the circumstances, it was probably a blessing that I hadn’t had the chance to claim her yet otherwise my reaction wouldn’t have been so tame. I would have done more than just growling … much more. And no one would have been able to stop me from expressing my wrath.

Yes, I really needed to talk to her and soon. I needed to explain the rules, so to speak. Knowing that she didn’t like to be told what to do or to refrain from doing, I knew I had to choose my words very, very carefully.

I wasn’t planning on replacing Edward. Yes, I would guard her with my life, but I wouldn’t hover, wouldn’t try to control her. She had proven more than once that she was stronger than she appeared. She was smart enough to make the right choices. And I trusted her.

But nevertheless, she needed to know what she was getting herself into by mating with a vampire. We were possessive SOB’s when it came to our mates. Even though I’ve never experienced it for myself before, I just knew that there was nothing more important to a mated vampire than the safety of his mate, because that’s how I felt about her.

True, when I’d been with Alice I would have fought as well, because I’d cared about her.

But this bond I had with Bella was something else entirely, so much stronger, running so much deeper. I would kill thousands to ensure her wellbeing without feeling regret. I would do anything to make her happy. I was hers, undeniably and irrevocably hers. And she was mine. The love I felt for her was already so strong and overwhelming, and I knew our connection would only deepen after the mating … and even more so after her change.

I could hardly wait for either one of them to come to pass.

I only hoped that my possessive behavior wouldn’t drive her away, now that she’d gotten a first taste of what was in store for her. I knew as long as she was still human she wouldn’t truly understand the concept of vampire mating, what it truly meant. But after today and ‘the talk’ at least she would be prepared for the similar reaction next time.

 

\+ + +

 

Although I was glad that my brother had reacted quickly, grabbing hold of my mate before she could throw herself between me and Emmett, I didn’t like seeing her restrained by him, or anyone else for that matter. And apparently my mate wasn’t thrilled about it either.

“Let go of me, Peter.” It was a command not a request. I was impressed how calm and confident Bella sounded, despite the fact that she was pissed. But she was in control of her emotions, not the other way around. 

And to be honest, the coolness in her voice was quite the turn on. ‘Not the time … you need to focus …’

Peter seemed to assess the situation for a moment, contemplating his options. I send him a wave of calm coupled with reassurance, with the desired result. He let go of my mate. ‘Wise choice …’

I’d expected Bella to come running towards me as soon as she was free, but she surprised me yet again. She remained cool, calm and collected, just taking a step away from Peter. Then she turned to face him. “Thanks. Here,” Bella handed Peter the cup of coffee and the bag of muffins, “Please, hold them for me. I want to finish them later.” Even though I couldn’t see her face, I was pretty sure she was smiling, at least a bit, because I could detect a hint of glee in her voice.

“Sweetie, please be careful.” Char warned. I was pleased to see how much my sister cared for my mate, considering they didn’t know each other very well. She was obviously concerned for the Bella’s safety, for which I was grateful. And apparently so was Bella. She gave Charlotte a curt nod of acknowledgment, but didn’t say anything in return. Then she turned away from them, towards me and Emmett.

“She’ll be fine.” Peter reassured his wife, but I could tell that he shared her concern, to some extent. But there was something else, something that didn’t sit quite well with me. Curiosity. The sick bastard wanted to see how this would turn out, that’s probably why he gave in to her request so quickly. The only reason why I didn’t act accordingly was Peter’s stance. Sure, he didn’t try to hold her back, but he was ready to step in, to pull her out of the line of fire if something went wrong. I still made a mental note to have a word with him later.

Bella took in a deep breath, and then she slowly walked over to Emmett and me. There was a certain air of confidence around her that took my breath away. She was truly a vision. Magnificent, beautiful … mine.

True, Bella appeared to be calm, but she was only calm on the outside. She couldn’t fool me though, not when her shield was down.

Right now there was a battle going inside her. Her emotions were chaotic, as usual. She was shifting through emotions like someone skimming through a tedious magazine, from one to the other, never lingering long enough, thus making it very hard for me to actually identify her emotional state.

She was mad, that much was clear … mad at Emmett, at Peter and probably at me too. But there was also a tinge of anxiety, and I was pretty sure that was meant for the both of us, Emmett and me. She was scared that I would hurt Emmett and vice versa. Despite her anger and disappointment, deep down, she still cared for Emmett. She was sad and confused just like him, but she was very determined to set things straight.

When her eyes met mine, I could detect a flicker of possessiveness, a clear need to protect her mate. ‘Well what do you know? She feels the same about me … possessive and ready to strike … that’s my girl …’

I’d been watching the situation from the corner of my eyes. Thanks to my peripheral vision there was no need to take my eyes of Emmett to see what was going on around me, which was a good thing. I didn’t want to draw his attention away from me. And somehow I knew the only person who was going to reach him in this state was Bella, and I was sure Peter had come to the same conclusion.

There was no indication that Emmett knew Bella was on her way over to us. His senses must be really out of commission. I didn’t know how he remained oblivions, but I took solace in the fact. He was still too busy growling at me, drowning me in his feelings of anger. My answering growls were low but not less menacing. It wasn’t just an act. I would never surrender easily.

Bella came to a halt a few feet away. I didn’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but I was glad that she kept some distance between herself and us, just in case.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Emmett? Get the hell away from him!” Bella demanded in a voice that left no room for interpretation. She was pissed. I couldn’t help myself but I got a little turned on by the aggressiveness in her voice.

Emmett’s head whipped around. He stared at Bella with a mixture of confusion and anger. “What do you mean? He was going to attack you … again.” He retorted icily.

‘Careful there, bro …’ Another low growl escaped me, but this time it went unanswered.

Bella snorted. Not very ladylike, but I thought it was sort of cute. “Please, that’s ludicrous. Jasper would never hurt me.” There was no doubt in her voice, only conviction. ‘God, I love this woman.’

Apparently that wasn’t the kind of reaction Emmett had been expecting. A frown appeared on his face. “But …”

Bella held up her hand, cutting him off. “No, I don’t want to hear it. There are no buts, no ifs. You’ve made a mistake, misreading his growl for what it really was. End of story. You may not believe it, but Jasper wasn’t going to attack me. He wouldn’t do that, not after …” She trailed off. I was sure her mind had gone to the same place in time as mine, but she didn’t linger on the ugly memory of her disastrous birthday party, and neither did I. We had both agreed to put that incident behind us, leaving it in the past, where it belonged. But she still gave me a sad, little smile, like she was begging for my forgiveness, for bringing it up. Completely unnecessary, as far as I was concerned, but a sweet gesture nonetheless.

Typical Bella! She had no reason whatsoever to feel bad or guilty, and I let know through my gift that I wasn’t angry or sad. I sent her my love and support, along with some strength, with the intended result. Bella straightened up and returned her full attention back on Emmett. She wasn’t finished yet, far from it.

“Look at Jasper’s eyes, Emmett. There are still as golden as yours or Rosalie’s. He kept up his diet even after you guys left him high and dry. Turns out he doesn’t need any of you to keep him in line. He is so much stronger than you know … hell even he doesn’t know how strong he is. It’s a shame that his so called family doesn’t show him the same kind of respect and trust you all ask of him … a family should be supportive, no matter what, and let’s face it, you’ve failed him. It’s that simple.” Emmett flinched at her harsh words, and I could hear Rose wincing.

“And just for the record, no one here means me any harm, not even Jasper’s human blood drinking friends, who in theory should pose the greatest threat to me,” Bella turned her head, giving Peter and his mate a small smile, “No offence …”

“None taken.” They both replied at the same time, not the least bit offended by her statement. They were both enjoying her rant, immensely. I almost pitied Emmett for being at the receiving end of her anger … almost. But he had it coming.

“… but they don’t.” Bella finished her sentence, with a certain kind of finality in her voice, thus closing the subject. She took in another deep, calming breath, before continuing, “I trust them, and Jasper … just like I used to trust you. So please, Emmett, let go of him … Right. The. Fucking. Now.” Her order left no room for discussion. Everyone in the room knew that, including Emmett. He let go of my throat, stepping away, with his head hanging like a child, who had just been caught with both hands in a cookie jar. Poor guy.

I sank to the ground, more or less gracefully. Bella lost no time, rushing to my side. I grabbed her arms and pulled her down, right into my lap. And she went more than willingly. It was where she belonged after all …

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” She asked. Her voice was heavily layered with concern. She leaned in, checking for injuries by gently caressing the cold, hard skin of my throat with her warm, slender fingers. Of course there was no evidence of Emmett’s harsh treatment to find, no imprints of his fingers, no bruises on my skin, nothing. I was sure she knew that, but she was too worried to think rationally at this point and to be honest I didn’t mind her reaction. How could I? The way she cared about me, about my physical wellbeing, though needlessly, made her that much more endearing in my eyes. First and foremost she saw the man in me, not the vampire. And that was something I still had to get used to. But I liked it, I liked it a lot. 

“I’m fine, Darlin’.” I reassured her, pulling her into a tight hug.

I was more than fine actually. With my beautiful, loving woman in my arms I was blissfully happy. I didn’t know how she did it, but whenever I was around her, she made me forget what I was, where I was … just like now. I didn’t care that we had company, because all I saw, all I sensed, all I needed was her. I buried my face in Bella’s dark hair. She still smelled like me, at least a little. The warmth of her body was seeping through the layers of our clothes, at once making me want more.

‘Skin on skin contact … just like before … that’s what I want … to finish what we’ve started upstairs … her soft, little hands on me, caressing, exploring, feeling my skin … and healing my soul …’

An involuntary, but unmistakable moan of desire escaped my mouth, when I felt her hot breathe washing over the skin of my neck, followed by a lingering kiss on my throat. Then I felt the tip of her tongue and I nearly lost it. Sure enough, my jeans suddenly felt very tight.

A loud gasp of shock called my immediate attention, snapping me out of my daze like state. The (unnecessary) intake of breath was coming, no surprise there, from Emmett, followed by a groan of exasperation. Before either one of us could say or do anything, Peter decided to intervene. He stepped right in between us, still with the coffee cup in one hand and the bad of muffins in the other. He looked ridiculous, like some yuppie-guy, only lacking the right kind of clothes and a newspaper, preferably the New York Times.

“Okay, guys, time out. I think we all have enough of this little pissing contest of yours, am I right ladies? Emmett, Bella is fine and in no danger of getting eaten by any one of us. Got it?” Peter gave Emmett a meaningful look, and received a bashful nod of acknowledgement in return. I was a little taken aback that Emmett was so easily swayed. They hardly knew each other. They hadn’t spent half a century living together. So how was this possible? Was Peter more trustworthy than me? It appeared that way. But then again, I had been the one who had screwed up, the one who had tried to bite his little sister, so maybe he had every right to doubt me.

Before I had the chance to explore this any further, Peter turned his attention to me. “And you Major, keep it down a notch, please. We get it. Bella is yours and no one wants to get between you two. I seriously doubt that anyone here has a death wish. Alright? And I’m pretty sure that Esme would be freaking out right now if she knew how we are treating this place. So I think we should put a moratorium on the indoor fighting. We certainly don’t need another hole to fill.” He grinned at the end. Of course his sexual innuendo didn’t go unnoticed by me. I flipped him off.

Peter just chuckled and then came over, kneeling beside us. Anticipating that he’d want to speak to her next, Bella shifted her position in my lap, so that she was with her back to my chest. In the process, she inadvertently brushed against my half-hardened erection. I didn’t know how I managed it, but somehow I was able to stifle the moan that threatened to escape my throat … but only by biting hard down on my lower lip, almost breaking my durable skin.

“And as for you, hot lips,” he addressed my mate with a leer on his face and in his voice, receiving another warning growl from me, which he chose to ignore, of course. He lowered his voice, trying to create a sense of privacy, which was pointless of course in a room full of vampires with extraordinary hearing capabilities. “You better keep your hands, lips and tongue under control, unless you want to give us all a free show.”

Even with her back to me, I could sense that Bella was mortified. The rise of her body temperature told me that she was probably blushing like crazy, a rare reaction these days. I was starting to miss it, what with her newfound inner strength and all that. Her reaction was understandable though, Peter had practically called her a brazen hussy, which she clearly wasn’t.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. Bella rested her head against my chest, and I leaned down, nudging her hair out of the way with my nose, whispering in her ear. “Don’t mind him, Darlin’. He is just jealous he won’t get a second chance at this.” I placed a lingering kiss on her cheek, while keeping my eyes on Peter. He got the message. ‘Hands of my mate, or else …’

Peter rolled his eyes at me. “And what a pity it is …” He winked at my mate, sighing theatrically. Of course Bella reacted just the way he’d intended, by sniggering.

“Don’t push it.” I warned, half heartedly.

“Yeah, yeah I get it ... Here you go, little lady. Why don’t you have some of that stinking beverage? I bet you can use some refreshment after all this drama.” He said in a normal volume, shoving the coffee cup and the bag of muffins into her waiting hands, more than glad to get rid of both items. She took them with another snigger and a mumbled thank you.

“It’s probably cold by now, sorry.” Peter said, getting on his feet.

“I don’t mind.” She shrugged, taking a sip. “Luke warm, just how I like it.” Peter laughed at her attempt to ease his mind, but I could tell it wasn’t a lie … well at least not a complete lie. She might prefer her coffee hot and steaming, but she would never lie or act disrespectfully. She was still immensely grateful for Peter’s gifts, much to my dismay. Bella dug into the bad, retrieving one muffin. When she bit into it, she moaned in appreciation. This time her reaction was one hundred percent legitimate.

My brother smiled down at her, happy that Bella was enjoying her snack. Then he turned and walked over to Charlotte, who had taken a seat on one of the chairs. He kissed her soundly on the mouth, making a clear statement, before he positioned himself on the floor between her open legs. He leaned back, with his legs stretched out and his arms crossed, waiting expectantly.

He didn’t have to wait long.

“Would anybody please tell me what is going on here?” Emmett threw his hands up in frustration, still standing in the middle of the room, a mixture of confusion and irritation rolling of him.

Rose got up from her seat on the couch and went over to her mate. “Why don’t you sit down, honey and let them explain. I’m sure we can sort this out … in peace.” She emphasized the last part, grabbing his hand and dragging him back to the couch. He went with her, more or less willingly, plopping down like a petulant child. He was still radiating anger, but the need quench his curiosity was stronger. 

Emmett turned to his wife. “Explain what? Wait … Are you trying to tell me you knew about this?” He accused.

Rose’s anger spiked. “First of all, don’t use that tone with me, mister, if you know what’s good for you.” She growled, and Emmett actually flinched. “And secondly, no, I didn’t know … at least not until a couple of minutes ago. Just take a look at them. Isn’t it obvious?” Rose’s patience was running thin, that much was obvious, and not just to me.

Emmett shifted his gaze back to me and Bella, narrowing his eyes. It was easy to tell that he still wasn’t comfortable with me holding Bella in my arms. I could feel and see him fighting the desire to come over and pull her away, only to keep her safe. That much hasn’t changed, always the overprotective brother. But he stayed put, which had more to do with Rose’s tight grip on his thigh than his power of self-restraint.

I held his scrutinizing gaze evenly, concentrating on reading his emotions. Hostility, confusion, guilt … but no realization yet. The obvious still seemed to evade him. How was it possible? Or maybe he just didn’t want to believe the truth.

I was glad that Bella wasn’t the least bit phased by Emmett’s scrutiny, just continuing to finish her muffin and her coffee in peace. I guess the physical contact helped us both to stay calm. She sat the empty cup down beside us, leaning back against my chest, letting out a satisfied sigh.

Since nobody was saying anything, Rose took it upon herself to shed some light on the mystery. “You are mates, am I right?” She looked at me for confirmation. I simply nodded.

Emmett’s shocked expression was priceless. “Mates. What do mean, mates? They can’t be mates. Alice and Edward …”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Upon hearing the names of her former boyfriend and my ex-wife Bella went rigid in my arms. More than one growl filled the air, and to my surprise one of them was actually coming from my mate.

‘Sexy … Wow, for a human she really has the vampire thing down. Growling … check, beauty … check, supernatural ability … check, staying (almost) immobile … check … The only things left are speed and strength … I can hardly wait … okay I’m getting sidetracked here … back to the subject at hand …’

Bella’s anger was back full force. “Alice and Edward,” she seethed, “Alice and Edward … How can you still believe that they are our mates? After they’ve left us, after all they have done …” She started trembling in my arms, pain joining her anger. Then I could smell them, her tears, and that wasn’t sitting well with me.

But instead of lashing out at my brother for upsetting my mate, I decided the best move right now was using my power to comfort Bella. Peter was right, fighting would get us nowhere. I swallowed my own anger and concentrated mainly on Bella. I tightened my grip, careful not to hurt her, of course. I pushed as much calm into her I was able to conjure up under the circumstances, but it didn’t seem to have the desired effect this time. She was fighting me. I didn’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but it didn’t matter. I started to rock her back and forth, making shushing sounds. “Shhh, Darlin’, calm down. Emmett doesn’t know … he didn’t mean to upset you … right?” I spared my brother a significant look.

“Of course not.” He hurried to confirm. “I’m just … this is all so confusing … I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I still love you, little sis.” Emmett’s voice faltered. I was sure if it were possible he would be in tears too. 

“I AM NOT YOUR SISTER.” Bella yelled. Emmett visibly and audibly flinched, and so did I. The pain of rejection felt like a stab with sharp knife right into my frozen heart, with a little twist at the end, leaving me utterly breathless. I did my best to stay in control, but even with Bella’s shield up, I was still exposed to Emmett’s emotions, and they were quite potent. “You gave up the right to call me that when you walked out on me, without a word of goodbye, if memory serves. You left me, Emmett. What did you expect? That I’d forgive and forget? Just like that? Not bloody likely. I’m not the same Bella anymore.”

“That much is painfully obvious.” Rose commented dryly. Tact has never been my sister’s strong suit. I could tell that Bella wanted to respond, but Rose shook her head vehemently, beating her to the punch. “Oh no, Bella, you’ve said your piece. Now it’s my turn.” She stated firmly, leaving no room for discussion. She reached over to grab one of Emmett’s big hands and held it tightly, drawing soothing circles on the back of his palm, with immediate result. Emmett’s and therefore my own feelings settled down some. I let out a sigh of relief.

Rose’s emotions and her tone of voice told me that she didn’t blame Bella for lashing out at her husband, but at the same time she was ready to stand up for Emmett, a normal reaction for a mated vampire. “I get where all your anger is coming from, I really do …”

“I highly doubt that.” Bella scoffed, completely belittling Rose’s display of sympathy. I could have told her that my sister was telling the truth, but I didn’t. Somehow it didn’t feel right to act as a go-between, not this time. And Bella probably wouldn’t have believed me anyway. The best thing right now was for them to get everything out in the open. They needed to move past their resentment and abandonment issues. We all did. “Like you’d care what I’m thinking or feeling or what I’ve been through after you left …” Bella spat. “I know that you hate me.”

Rose smiled sadly. “That’s where you’re wrong, Bella. I might not particularly like you but I don’t hate you. I never did. I don’t know what Edward has told you about me, my thoughts, but I don’t hate you. And how could I? We barely know each other.” Bella shrugged, still not believing her. Rose seemed to realize that, choosing a different approach. “Did you by any chance read the letter I’d left for Jasper?”

‘Clever move there, sis …’ I smirked inwardly.

For a moment there was complete silence in the room, apart from Bella’s slightly erratic breathing. And just as suddenly as she’d closed herself off, Bella allowed me excess to her emotions again. ‘Thank God …’

“Yes.” Bella answered in a subdued voice, clearly remembering its contents. Her anger had waned, but it was replaced by a negative feeling of another kind … guilt. ‘Great … just great …’

“Then you know none of us wanted to leave Forks, or you for that matter,” Rose said, amending, “Well apart from Doucheward and the evil gnome, of course. This was all their doing, especially the part about leaving you behind without giving any one of us the chance to say good bye or explain things.” Bella nodded once, imperceptibly to a human, but not to a vampire eye.

Rose ignored Bella’s reaction and went on. “True, I didn’t care less about that at the time, but Emmett certainly did. And so did Esme and Carlisle. You might think that they didn’t care about you, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Believe what you will, Bella, but they truly loved you like a daughter, and they still do.” Rose smiled warmly, patting Emmett’s hand caringly.

“All I’d wanted to do was to say good bye to you in person. I thought that was the least you deserved. I didn’t want to leave you behind to begin with, but I certainly didn’t want you to think that you didn’t mean anything to me. The Cullens are my family, but …” Emmett said, his voice cracking with the strength of his emotions, “but so are you. I know you are angry with me and I’d understand if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. But … but you’ll always be my little sister if you like it or not.”

Bella’s heartbeat quickened and her breathing hitched. She was deeply touched by Emmett’s words. “That’s … that’s nice.” She muttered, obviously lost for words. It was clear that she was still reluctant to forgive him right away, but she was willing to try.

Of course, Peter chose to be an insensitive idiot by chuckling, loudly. Bella’s head snapped around, and even though I couldn’t see her face, I just knew she was glaring at him. Her reaction had the opposite effect, causing him to lose it completely. He started laughing like a maniac.

Instead of yelling at him, for upsetting and embarrassing her yet again, she called out his mate’s name in such a calm, serene kind of way that didn’t bode well … for Peter. Char and Bella seemed to have a silent conversation, which only lasted for a second or two, and completely went unnoticed by everyone but me. Char nodded her head once, smirking, and then her arm moved. She smacked the back of Peter’s head so hard that the sound of the impact vibrated through the almost empty room. The force of the blow caused Peter to slump forward.

“What the hell … that actually hurt, woman.” Peter complained, rubbing his head.

“You had it coming.” Char said, smacking him again, less hard this time, just for good measure. I had a hard time not to burst out laughing.

“She is right.” Bella agreed. For the first time she was really annoyed with my brother. “You had it coming, Peter … I’m only sorry for not being able to do it myself.”

I could feel Emmett’s and Rose’s confusion at Bella’s statement. “Char and Bella have an agreement. Whenever Peter acts out, Char will hand out the punishment in her place … since Bella would only hurt herself in the process.” I explained, placing a kiss on Bella’s head.

I finally lost control of my power, and everybody, including Peter, started laughing. And just like that the mood changed, part of the earlier tension was leaving the room, making it easier to breathe. ‘Just what we needed, a little distraction …’

“That’s hilarious.” Rose commented, still sniggering. “And quite clever. Better her than you, huh?”

I chuckled. “Yes, this way I don’t have to fear any ramifications. I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last time, you’ll see. He can be quite the idiot.” I said, ignoring Peter’s low growl of protest. But at least he didn’t complain in words, apparently knowing that now was not the time to prove my point. And I had a feeling that Bella and I weren’t the only ones interested to hear the rest of Rose’s story. “But I think he’s got the message and will remain silent from now on. Please continue. I assume you weren’t finished yet.” 

Rose nodded and picked up where she’d left off. “Yes … well … Emmett, Esme and Carlisle argued with Edward for hours after he’d come home that night. Believe me when I say that they were doing their best to sway Edward, but my idiot brother simply wouldn’t listen to reason, stubborn son of a bitch that he is. I guess his mind was made up the moment everything had gone downhill at your birthday party. Of course he blamed Jasper for losing it over a simple paper cut, but I’m sure he was mostly angry with himself, and rightfully though, considering he was the one who’d caused you any harm.” I still didn’t like to be reminded of Bella getting hurt because of me.

But Bella, God bless her, hurried to defend me. “Jasper isn’t …” She began, but Rose cut her off.

“I know, Bella, I know that he isn’t the one to blame for what happened that day, and neither are you. Maybe none of us are. Cutting yourself was a mere accident and our reaction was to be expected. Try as we might, but there is no use to downplay the truth. We are bloodthirsty vampires and you are a human … our natural food source, for crying out loud. The scent of fresh blood isn’t something we can simply ignore. None of us can, not even Carlisle and I, who’ve never tasted human blood, are completely immune to it. It is what it is.” Her words were almost the same ones that Bella had used the other day. They didn’t even know it, but they were so much alike. No wonder I felt the way I did about them. I loved Bella as my mate, and Rose as a sister. Both were fiercely protective and utterly honest. ‘Truly one … or more precisely two of a kind …’ 

“I’d realized pretty fast that it has been our combined bloodlust that had driven Jasper over the edge. But in the end it didn’t matter what I thought. It was Alice who turned the tide. She convinced us that a clean break was in your best interest, saying that she’d had a vision, thus backing up her claim.” Rose seethed, and Bella let out a snort. “Yeah, I’m right there with you. Quite obviously she’d lied. I don’t know how she did it, but she managed to fool us all. Even Edward couldn’t tell that she was lying, probably too blinded by his own guilt to pay enough attention. Or maybe she was simply too clever, who knows.” Rose shrugged. Her feelings of anger were rising again. “We’ve never had any reason to doubt Alice’s words or her so called good intentions, so of course we’ve trusted her, moving along with her plan to leave Forks and you as soon as possible, not even waiting for Jasper’s return. But believe me we’ve paid for both mistakes dearly.

“You see, Bella, you are not the only one who got hurt in the process. It’s true, in the beginning my only concern was for Jasper’s wellbeing, understandably though, since nobody else seemed to give a damn about him at the time and considering the fact that you and I had never been that close. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t sympathize with your situation. And if you read my letter very carefully, you’d know that I don’t think it was the right decision to make … leaving you behind with no way to contact us, cutting of all ties. Edward had brought you into our family, making you part of it … and suddenly you were what … disposable? You didn’t deserve to be dumped, over something that was nobody’s fault … even if it was inevitable to happen at some point.” Rose said, putting it bluntly as usual.

But Bella wasn’t offended, quite the opposite. I smelled tears again. “Thanks, Rosalie.” She sniffed, gripping my arms like as a sort of anchor. Rose’s words did have a similar effect on me. I was touched and glad at the same time. Rose cared about my mate more than she was willing to admit, and vice versa. They didn’t seem to notice it yet, but Rose and Bella shared a mutual bond of respect, one that could easily evolve into friendship, even sisterhood. I certainly would like that.

I wasn’t able to tell if it was just the influence of my projective power or not, but Rose’s demeanor softened even further. There was even the slightest hint of a sob in her voice, when she continued. “It quickly became obvious that your absence, Bella, was the reason for our collective suffering. Everybody missed you in one way or another … well everybody except for Alice.” She mused. I wondered where she was going at with this short but certainly significant statement, but unfortunately she didn’t elaborate.

“Anyhow, as I was saying, things haven’t been exactly peachy since we’ve left Forks … quite the opposite actually. Everyone was brooding 24/7, for different reasons, of course. We weren’t talking to each other very much. Actually we barely spend any time as a family. Carlisle busied himself with work at the local hospital, while Esme was distracting herself with redecorating our house in Alaska. But I doubt very much that it was working.” Rose shook her head. Sadness was rolling of her in waves. Emmett’s expression matched that of his wife to a T.

I could easily imagine how hard it must have been for all them to live under such enormous emotional stress. Wanting to reconcile, but not really knowing how, that must have been pure hell. Quite frankly, I was pretty glad that I hadn’t stayed with them. Just having access to Emmett’s and Rose’s feeling now was enough to wear me out. “Edward and Alice kept to themselves, avoiding everybody, even each other. They’ve left weeks before we did, separately, but according to Carlisle they are together now, God only knows where. But honestly, I don’t really care. Whatever they are going through right now, they’ve brought it upon themselves.” Rose wasn’t really gloating, just hitting a nail.

“The last time Alice and I spoke to each other, I discovered something rather interesting, maybe even unsettling.” Rose was looking straight at me now. “I asked her about you and your whereabouts … for the umpteenth time, I might add. I was still giving her the benefits of the doubt, believing that she still needed time to recover from all the drama. I still believed that sooner or later she would go and find you. I still thought that she and you were still … you know mates …”

“Oh.” Emmett exclaimed, clearly having some sort of epiphany. “I remember. Alice said that you and her … that you have never been mates … Oh dear Lord, that would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?” He turned his head to look at Rosalie. “Do you think that she knew about them all along?”


	27. Mysteries unsolved

Jasper POV

 

The room fell into complete silence. Even a mere human would have been able to hear a pin drop under these circumstances.

I wasn’t the only one who was stunned speechless by Emmett’s unsuspected moment of clarity. Who would have thought he had it in him?

But the more important question was: Was Emmett right with his assessment? Was it possible that Alice had known all along about me and Bella, about us being mates? Or did she just come to the same conclusion only after our separation, like me, finally realizing that we weren’t supposed to last? I really hoped that was the case, because despite the new image I had of my ex-wife, I couldn’t bring myself to believe that she was that cruel and callous. I still believed that she’d helped keeping me and Bella apart solely for the purpose to ensure the human’s safety, because she’d cared about her best friend …

True, Alice was manipulative like no other. I’ve always known that, and I’ve never faulted her for that. That’s who she was. But I’ve never pictured her to be ruthless to achieve her goals. Sneaky yes, but not ruthless …

But what if I was wrong? Maybe Alice had managed to deceive us all. ‘What a disturbing thought …’

It was a possibility, a small one, but still a viable possibility. As powerful as we all were, none of our gifts were infallible, not Edward’s telepathy, Alice’s fortune-telling or my empathy. And maybe we’ve been relying on them too much, to see what was right in front of our eyes …

It took some time and a lot of practice, but by now I knew exactly how to bypass Edward’s mind reading power. And I wasn’t the only one who’d managed to find a way to keep things from Edward, if necessary. It usually helped to think of things that annoyed or bored him, like thinking about fashion in Alice’s case, or about rebuilding cars, like Rosalie.

Naturally, we all had things to hide from each other, and living amongst a mind reader made us quite creative in trying to keep those things a secret.

Emmett’s way to keep Edward out of his head was probably the most effective and quickest … and probably the cruelest … from Edward’s point of view. I knew for a fact that Em actually took great pleasure bombarding Edward’s ‘innocent’ mind with endless pictures of him with his mate, doing the nasty. Like hearing them on a daily basis wasn’t enough to torture him … or any of us. Needless to say, those mental images usually had Edward running for the hills in no time.

As funny as it was, it was also a little childish to use such methods. It wasn’t like Edward was spying on us on purpose. He just couldn’t help. His gift like mine didn’t have an on/off switch. As a matter of fact he, like me, wished that things were different. We both thought, that our gifts were more a burden than a blessing.

I wasn’t sure if it was actually possible to find a way around my gift, since it was much harder to fake emotions than to hide thoughts, but who knew. In our world anything seemed to be possible … especially since Bella had become a part of it.

I had no problem to identify emotions, but interpreting them correctly was another story. And whenever I was in a room with more than two people it could be very difficult to pinpoint the source, to tell who was feeling what. It wasn’t like emotions had a link to their owners, like thoughts.

Alice’s gift worked in a complete different way, too.

For one, she didn’t have visions to guide her, or us, twenty four seven, which was probably a very good thing. Otherwise she would have gone crazy a long time ago. But more importantly, the outcome of her visions could always change, because the future wasn’t set in stone … which made her visions not very reliable to begin with. I was pretty sure that nobody knew how exactly Alice’s gift worked, not even Alice herself.

Predicting the future was tricky business … nothing was for certain, too many variables to consider, everything could change in a blink of an eye. In another word: her gift was seriously flawed. Usually her visions came out of nowhere, triggered by one thing or another. My guess was those visions were the ones that truly mattered … like those times when she’d seen me slip up, and she actually had been able to stop me.

But most of the times she deliberately used her gift to search the future for anything and everything, trivial or otherwise. I could understand and appreciate her need to protect the family, and all those innocent humans (mostly from me), but using her gift to check the weather report for the next day or sneak a peek at her Christmas presents … well that was just wrong and not to mention extremely annoying.

Maybe her gift shouldn’t be used like that? Maybe her gift did have some sort of limit? Maybe by trying to force to see everything, the truly important things had slipped by her notice? Why else hasn’t she been able to warn us beforehand not to take Bella with us to that disastrous baseball game? Or why hasn’t she seen that Bella was going to trick me, and leave to meet James all on her own? But the most important question was: Why in the hell hasn’t she seen what was going to happen at Bella’s birthday party? She could have saved us all a lot of heartache. But maybe she wasn’t supposed to see it? Maybe it was supposed to happen just like that? Otherwise Bella and I wouldn’t be here, together at last, now would we? Maybe she was no longer able to meddle with the fates of others? So should I just be grateful instead of angry?

‘Too many questions, not enough answers …’

I was pulled out of my inner musings by the only person who could reach me at that moment without saying a word, the one person, who probably held my attention on a subconscious level at all time, just by being with me in the same room.

My beautiful mate.

So far she hadn’t said anything, but I could tell that she wanted to, badly.

Bella slightly shifted her position in my lap, so that she was facing me again. She was confused and upset, that much was clear from her facial expression, but other than that I couldn’t quite determine her emotional state. Once again her emotions were in total disarray.

‘Well, darlin’ we are in the same boot here … I’m just as confused as you are …’

“You don’t think that it’s true, do you?” She asked me, her voice slightly breaking at the end. She shot me an inquiring, almost pleading look, her eyes wide, glistening with unshed tears.

I reached out, cupping her face, stroking her cheeks gently with my thumps. I yearned to console her, but I didn’t want to lie either. “I don’t know, Bella. I hope not, but …”

“… unfortunately we can’t completely rule it out either.” Rose finished my sentence in a subdued voice, echoing my thoughts precisely.

It was easy to tell that my sister felt regret for voicing her opinion out loud, which was certainly a first. I sent her some reassuring vibes, receiving a slight nod of acknowledgment and appreciation in return.

True, Alice and Rose had never been very close, but they were family. So naturally, if Alice truly had done something to harm her family, in any way, Rose would never forgive her for that. Any kind of betrayal was an absolute no-go in Rose’s book, and considering her history, it was completely understandable.

Bella shook her head vehemently. “No, no, I don’t believe it. That would just be …”

“Cruel? Yeah it would be.” I agreed. “I don’t want to believe it either.” ‘But there are certain points I cannot ignore.’ I added in my mind.

“What’s so hard to believe? She is a scheming, manipulating bitch, end of story.” Peter seethed. Charlotte’s and Rose’s emotions told me, that they were in complete agreement with him, well at least with his last statement. Emmett seemed to be too stunned to make up his mind.

Peter did have a point. We all knew how Alice used her gift to manipulate things and people to her liking, we just hadn’t called her out on it, not really anyway. We had taken her good intentions for granted, never having any reason to doubt her. Had she taken advantage of our faith we’d put in her?

Before I could say my piece, Bella pushed me away … for the first time ever. She frantically scrambled to get on her feet. Although her rejection did hurt me, I offered my hand, helping her up. Her earlier confusion had quickly turned into a mixture of anger and disgust. It was hard to tell who exactly it was directed at, but from the look on her face, unfortunately it was also meant for me.

‘Oh great … how do I fix this?’

I didn’t get the chance to say or do anything, because she turned away from me, glaring at Peter, who was still sitting between Charlotte’s legs.

“Oh, please … you are only saying this because you hate Alice.” My mate scoffed, moving further away from me. She stopped a few feet away from Peter.

Only Bella would walk up to a vampire and start a confrontation, without considering the consequences. I admired her for her strength, her zest, but on the other hand I wanted to pull her aside and tell her to put a stop to this nonsense.

But I didn’t. Instead I followed Bella like her shadow, barely keeping any space between us. I was practically breathing down her neck. She knew I was right behind her, but sending clear vibes, telling me not to interfere. It was hard to fight the urge put my arms around her waist and pull her back against my chest. It went against my nature. For one I wanted to console her, but more importantly I wanted to protect her.

I knew from personal experience that Peter wasn’t one for turning down a fight, verbal or otherwise. I sent him a wave of gratitude for keeping himself in check, this time.

“You don’t know anything.” Bella snapped.

“Au contraire, mademoiselle, I happen to know quite a lot. Gifted vampire with over a hundred and fifty years of experience, remember?” Peter quipped.

Sometimes my brother was so full of himself. It would take more than a slap or two, to pull him down from his high horse. I was more than willing to deliver the message, but for now, I let it slide.

“And just for the record, I have every right to hate the little pixie. I’ve witnessed her turning my brother, my sire, the man I still look up to despite everything, into nothing more than a puppet on strings. Of course I hate her. Nothing you say will ever change my mind.

“She uses her gift to scheme and manipulate each and every person around her. Too bad for her, that neither I nor Char are that easily to control. Sorry guys,” he spared us Cullens (and former Cullens) a significant look, “but how come that none of you have ever questioned her motives before? Are you actually that foolish?”

It was a low blow and Peter knew it. He hit a nerve, in all of us, I could tell. He wasn’t wrong with his assessment though. Harsh as it was, it was the truth. Blind faith was never a good thing.

Peter didn’t feel bad for his admission. Actually he was relieved, for finally being able to speak his mind so freely. I’ve always known that he didn’t like Alice or the person that I’ve become by choosing a life with her and the Cullens over him and Char.

Of course his feelings of resentment had nothing to do with my choice of diet. He couldn’t care less about that. In fact, whatever made me happy was good enough for him. And changing my diet definitely fell in that category. But marrying Alice did not.

Until today he’d kept his true opinion to himself, clearly not wanting to cause irreparable damage to our friendship, because he’d known that at the time I would have chosen my supposed mate over him. I couldn’t fault him for keeping his opinion to himself. It only showed how much he was willing to sacrifice to keep me in his life, one way or another.

Bella’s breath hitched. She turned her head to look at me first, and then her eyes went over to Rosalie and Emmett. She shook her head. Whatever she saw in our eyes, it wasn’t what she’d expected to find.

“I can’t believe you are willing to condemn your sister without having any real evidence.” She said quietly, but her voice spoke volumes. She was disappointed.

This was typical Bella behavior. Even though it had been very clear earlier that she was very mad at Alice about the whole divorce papers issue, she was still willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Sure, it was unfair to judge Alice without having her here to explain things and if necessary to defend herself. But still, in the end the fact remained the same … Alice was a manipulative bitch.

I was torn. I wanted to explain myself, telling Bella that I wasn’t convinced … yet … that Alice had done anything, other than doing what she’d thought was best for the family. But at the same time I wanted to knock some sense into my mate’s head. Her compassion and selflessness were endearing and honorable character traits, a main part why I loved her so much, but somehow I hoped that with everything that had happened, she might have realized that she should be a little more vigilant who to trust. And here I’d thought vampires had a problem with change, apparently Bella did too. I swallowed my aggravation, focusing on calming my mate instead. Her wellbeing was always my first and main concern. There would be time to deal with everything else later on.

“Bella …” I called her name softly. With gentle, yet strong fingers I grasped her chin, forcing her to look straight at me. When our eyes met, the tears, she had been trying to hold back, started spilling. I tried to pull her closer, but she fought against me. Glad to have another alternative, I tried to calm her with my gift instead, but again, it wasn’t working.

‘Damn her and her stupid shield,’ I cursed inwardly.

Apparently she still felt what I was trying to do. “Not right now, Jasper. I just … I think I need a moment to myself. Please, just let me go.” She demanded gently yet firmly. I had no other choice but to let her go. I would never force myself on her, in any way.

‘Whatever makes you happy, Darlin’ …’ I thought, taking a step back.

Bella wiped her tears from her face with the back of her hands and immediately turned to walk away from me.

“Where are you going?” I asked, completely aware how desperate I sounded. But I didn’t care. Every vampire in the room knew what I was feeling, not only because I was projecting my gift. Mated vampires felt very possessive and protective of their mates, and not being able to console your mate … well, let’s just say it was excruciatingly devastating.

Bella looked over her shoulder. She gave me a warm, reassuring smile, trying to tell me without words, not to worry.

“I need to use the bathroom. I had too much coffee and now I have to pee.” Her answer was surprisingly blunt. And it wasn’t an excuse. “Cause and effect.” She added with a shrug, before walking straight into the downstairs bathroom by the stairs. She closed the door quietly behind her, disappearing from sight.

A few seconds later I heard water running down the drain. I had to smile despite my hurt feelings. Bella always turned on the sink before using the toilet, hoping that the sound of running water would drown out the other noises. It was a neat trick, but unfortunately for her, it didn’t work, at least not completely. Of course, for her sake, and ours, we’d learned to tune out certain noises.

I sank down to the floor, feeling utterly drained. The whole afternoon had turned into a freaking rollercoaster ride, one I couldn’t say I was enjoying, at least not anymore.

Sure, the afternoon had started out just fine … well more than fine actually. To be honest, I’d had the best make-out session of my life, and that was saying something, considering my age and my sexual experience, not to mention the fact that I hadn’t had the chance to find my own release. It still had been perfect. But then again, seeing Bella in all her naked glory for the first time had been gratification enough. She was a vision, breathtakingly beautiful from head to toe. And making her cum with my tongue and my fingers … oh god, I couldn’t wait to have a repeat performance of that, preferably sooner rather than later.

I was glad to have Emmett and Rose back in my life. And I knew they felt the same about me … and Bella. And of course, I’d anticipated that our reunion wouldn’t be a walk in the park, that it could be tricky, but not like this. A freaking trip down memory lane, wondering if the life I’d lived for the past seventy years might have been a complete lie … Peter rubbing it in … Bella making me feel guilty and then shying away from me … it was all too much.

Of course, I broke down. But Peter, being Peter, didn’t let me drown in self-pity.

“Did Bella just quote Matrix?” He remarked with a chuckle.

“Yeah … I think she did.” Emmett verified, chuckling as well. “I didn’t even know she was into this stuff.” He mused. But he was clearly pleased by that fact.

“Of course, who wouldn’t? Keanu alone …” Rose sighed. 

“For a human he’s quite hot.” Char agreed in a similar dreamy voice, causing the women to giggle like teenage schoolgirls and the men to growl in annoyance.

But the effect of changing the subject remained just the same. Like magic the uncomfortable tension left the room, replacing my anxiety with far more pleasant feelings. I soaked up the amusement like a sponge. I was glad for being able to breathe freely again. Even though it wasn’t physically necessary, it made quite a difference.

My eyes were still glued to the bathroom door. I could still hear the water running, though I knew that Bella had already finished taking care of her human needs. I still couldn’t get a good read on her emotions, but I took comfort in the fact that I couldn’t hear her crying. From what I was able to gather, considering she had shut me out, quite literally on both accounts, she was having one hell of an inner monolog while she was in there.

It was times like these when I wished I had Edward’s power. But then again, she was immune to that, too.

Char stood up and came over, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Bella is fine. Just give her a moment to calm down. This is all a little too much for her right now, as you can imagine.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek swiftly, before she went into the kitchen. She was back a second later with a bottle of water for Bella. The way she was taking care of my mate, emotionally and physically, was heartwarming.

“I’m so sorry.” Emmett muttered barely audible. I might have missed it completely, if it hadn’t been for his emotions. His guilt was back at full force. He was desperate to make things right with me and his little sister, not worsen them. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Stop berating yourself, honey. No one is mad at you.” Rose soothed her mate, not only with words but with a gentle pat on his thigh as well. I let Emmett know through my gift that I totally agreed with his wife. His tense posture visibly relaxed. “But you raised a valid question. It could be possible in theory … but I don’t believe Alice is actually that good. Fooling Edward and Jasper … well I think that would be quite hard to pull off … and doing so on a long term basis … sheer impossible.” She stated with full conviction.

“Yeah, the sneaky pixie isn’t all that clever.” Emmett agreed eagerly.

“Well, good thing is, her plan, whatever it was, has failed.” Rose said, thoughtfully. “Though I still don’t understand why it was okay to push Edward towards Bella considering her blood sings to him, and at the same time doing everything to keep you and her apart. It doesn’t make any sense.” She looked at me, seeking answers I didn’t have. But I would make sure to get them … somehow, someday.

“Other than trying to prevent Bella from stealing her husband, you mean.” Emmett joked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Rose’s hand connected with the back of Emmett’s head. He didn’t dare to complain, because he knew he’d deserved it.

“Ex-husband.” I corrected him. Though I surely didn’t like what he’d said, because he made it sound like Bella and I had started something back then, I wasn’t really mad with him, knowing that he hadn’t meant it like that. That’s just Emmett, always speaking up before thinking things through.

“You’re divorced?” Rose asked, surprised, but utterly pleased at the same time. “Well, I guess that’s the best thing I heard in a long time.”

“I second that.” Peter agreed, the glee in his voice matching that of my sister, but he wasn’t surprised at all. Quite obviously Charlotte had filled him in after they’d left the house earlier to give me and Bella some privacy.

Although I was still hurt about the way Alice had dropped my ass, I couldn’t argue that in the end, she’d given me exactly what I wanted, and needed. Freedom. “She filed for divorce in October. But I’ve just gotten the papers today.”

“What a bitch.” Rose cussed under her breath, her long blond hair swinging with the shakes of her head. “No wonder she was pissed whenever I mentioned your name. But what I don’t get is why she didn’t tell any of us. We are still her family.” Her voice was layered with sadness and disappointment. With a thoughtful look on her face, she added, “I’m not even sure Edward knows. I wonder what else she’d managed to keep from us …”

Right then I heard the sink being turned off. “I guess Alice had her reasons and we could sit here all day long and venture guesses. But I don’t believe we would make any progress. So for everybody’s sake, I think we should drop the whole ‘Alice’ subject … at least for now.” I suggested. Everyone in the room was in complete agreement with my proposal.

I exhaled loudly and got on my feet. “In fact, there are far more pressing matters we need to discuss.” I declared with a fleeting look over my shoulder. Of course, Peter and Char knew what I was referring to, but Emmett and Rose had no idea. Both their eyes widened marginally, telling me that my statement quite obviously caught their instant attention. But they had to be little more patient for the explanation, because a moment later the bathroom door opened and my mate came out.

Bella looked a thousand times better, emotionally speaking, because she always was beautiful, no matter what state she was in or what she was wearing. Though, I had to admit, seeing her dressed in that skirt, was truly a special treat.

Her eyes immediately sought out mine and a wide smile spread across her face when our eyes met. One look into her warm, loving, ever-trusting eyes told me that she wasn’t mad with me anymore. But more than that I could feel it because she’d dropped her shield again, allowing me complete access.

Waves of calmness and peace washed over me, intermingled with the unconditional love she felt for me. Her emotions were almost too overwhelming in their intensity and purity. Maybe I should be used to it by now, but the truth was I wasn’t. I probably never would be.

I still felt undeserving of this kind, loving woman who was currently gazing at me like I was the most beautiful man and the most important person in her life. I still couldn’t belief my luck. It was more I’ve ever dared to hope for. Regardless, I vowed to myself once again, that I would do everything in my power to keep her, to prove myself worthy of her trust and her love, to make her as happy as she made me.

I didn’t know how long we stood there, lost in each other’s eyes. The world around us seemed to disappear entirely. For me there was only Bella, and quite obviously she felt the same. What felt like hours, was probably just a few seconds. Finally I couldn’t take it any longer, the physical distance between me and my mate. I needed to hold her, to feel her. With a few quick strides I was right in front of her, pulling her into my arms. I crashed my mouth on hers, kissing her passionately, almost desperately. She reciprocated in kind, moaning, when my tongue entered her mouth. God, she tasted so good. I would never get my fill of her.

I would have proceeded if it hadn’t been for Bella’s need for oxygen. Reluctantly, I pulled away, breathing almost as hard as my mate. I leaned in once more, placing a quick, soft kiss on her lips.

“I love you, too.” I murmured against her lips, answering her unspoken words.

Bella sighed, burying her head into my chest. I could hear her mumbling silly words of apology. I shook my head, gently caressing her backside. “You have no need to feel sorry. If anything, I should be the one to apologize. Your reaction was completely justified. You are right. Judging someone without having any viable evidence is unfair, and not to mention rather pointless. I know we need to talk about this, but I think right now might not be the best time. Later, okay?”

She lifted her head, smiling. “That’s fine by me.”

We shared another sweet kiss, before I turned us around, to face our present company. Neither Bella nor I were prepared for the sight that greeted us.

Both couples looked mildly disheveled. Emmett’s shirt was missing a few buttons. Rose’s hair looked like Bella’s when she woke up in the morning. Peter and Charlotte both sat side by side on the floor, leaning against the wall. Their clothes were more wrinkled than before, but neither one of them seemed to care.

It wasn’t hard to guess what had taken place behind our backs.

“Did we miss anything?” I asked, playing all innocent, but failing miserably.

“Like, you have to ask.” Peter replied dryly, pulling his mate closer. Char rested her head on Peter’s shoulder. She wore a huge smile on her face, looking utterly pleased. “Those vibes you just put out would make even the most virtuous person lose their inhibition in a jiffy. I mean that kiss alone …” he trailed of, with a dreamy look on his face. I rolled my eyes at him. I wouldn’t be surprised if Peter asked for another demonstration.

‘Think again, you kinky bastard …’ 

Emmett voiced his aggravation at loud. “Hey, that’s my little sister, you are talking about.” He growled at Peter. Bella didn’t rebuke him this time, for calling her his little sister. She seemed to be otherwise occupied. Or she didn’t care. It was hard to tell.

“That’s enough boys. We don’t want to make Bella any more uncomfortable than she already is.” Char admonished.

I looked down at my mate, and for sure, she was blushing slightly. “No need to feel ashamed, Darlin’.” I whispered into her ear, fighting the urge to pull her lob between my teeth and nibble on it.

‘Later … when we are alone … without witnesses …’

“Jasper is right. You really shouldn’t. That was a really, really nice kiss.” Rose said, winking at Bella. To my surprise, she took my sister’s appraisal for what it was, a compliment. I chuckled when I felt my mate’s embarrassment vanish for nearly inciting an orgy, only to be replaced by feelings of another kind. Pride. This was new, but a refreshing change.

“So, Jasper,” Rose called my attention, “you’ve mentioned something about important things we need to discuss. How about you fill us in now?”

I nodded once and guided Bella to the now empty chair. I sat down, pulling her into my lap. I liked having her there.

“Yes, well … since my return to Forks two days ago there have been … some complications.” I began. “Carlisle’s presumptions have turned out to be wrong. There are still werewolves in this area.”

Rose and Emmett gasped, not in horror, but in surprise. “The wolves are back? Wow … that is … that could be a problem.” My sister said, glancing over to Peter and Charlotte.

“You don’t say. Char and I are practically housebound because of those nasty smelling mutts.” Peter complained.

Rose wisely chose to ignore his pathetic whining. “How do you know they are back? Did they come over here?”

I shook my head. “No, Bella had a little run in with a guy named Sam Uley.” I said, trying hard to keep my temper in check. Just thinking about her encounter with the werewolf made the venom pool in my mouth. I swallowed it, and my resentment.

“Uley … that name sounds familiar. If memory serves his … grandfather, I presume … was part of the original pack. But what do you mean by run in? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Rose asked, addressing Bella directly.

“No, of course not.” Bella exclaimed, clearly appalled by the implication. I wasn’t surprised that she was angry because it was the same reaction she had when I’d asked that question. I stroked her back reassuringly, sending her some calming waves. She took a deep breath before she went on. “Sam came to my house the other day, just to talk. He knows that vampires are back in the area, but he doesn’t know who or how many. He came to warn me, that’s it. And since you guys can smell each other … well let’s just say he knew that I knew without saying it out loud. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled about my involvement with you guys, far from it actually. But he didn’t threaten me or anything. I think … somehow … he seemed to understand.”

Rose and Emmett were shocked. “Let’s hope so … But how do you know that he is a werewolf?” She inquired rather nicely, despite her level of stress. She was truly concerned about Bella.

“Oh, he didn’t tell me … but from the bits and pieces of information I’d gotten from my friend Jacob and you guys … well it was rather easy to put two and two together.” Bella explained, radiating smugness. I didn’t fault her for feeling that way. We all knew that she was very smart, and sometimes annoyingly observant.

“So he knows that you know … about what he is, I mean.” Rose clarified. Bella nodded once. “Hmmm … that’s interesting. As far as I know they are just as secretive about their existence as we are, maybe even more so. He must like you, or at least respect you, to let you get away with it.” She said, frowning slightly. “Albeit, you have no idea, how lucky you are, Bella. Werewolves can be very dangerous. They usually act on instinct alone.” She was simply stating facts, not trying to scold Bella. But of course, given her history, my mate didn’t see it that way.

“Says the vampire.” She scoffed. “I trust him with my life. I KNOW they don’t mean me any harm. They are here to protect the people of Forks. And last I’ve checked, I am one of the human citizens.” She did have a point. Every vampire in the room could vouch for that. Her heartbeat was strong, and a little faster than usual, due to her anger.

For a moment there I wondered why she didn’t tell my siblings about Sam’s heroic act. As much as I hated to admit it, I sort of owed him, for saving Bella’s life that night. But I guessed that she wasn’t quite ready to share that piece of information with them. Remembering the pain she’d felt when she told me about Edward’s dumping act, I could understand her decision. I was sure, that she would tell them eventually, when she was ready.

Rose shook her head. “No, actually, Bella, first and foremost they are here to protect their tribe. According to our treaty, Forks is our territory. They have to stay on their land … at least now that we are back.” She amended, settling deeper into the couch. “But I guess you are right … in theory. Of course, they keep watch over the rest of the population of Forks too. I’m just not so sure they truly consider you part of the people they need to guard anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they would do anything to you on purpose. And I hope, for your sake, they would help you, if you asked for it. But since you are sleeping with the enemy, so to speak, well I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. I’m sorry, but it is what it is.” Bella nodded her head, but didn’t say anything. She seemed to finally realize that her association with us came with a price. Choosing sides always did.

“Bella, I’m just worried, that’s it. You don’t know these creatures like I do. Believe me. It wasn’t easy to make them agree to the treaty in the first place. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Edward’s mind reading and Carlisle’s way with words, things could have turned out quite differently.” Rose said. “Maybe it’s a natural response in our kind, and theirs, who knows, but it took a lot of convincing from Carlisle, that our first encounter hadn’t ended in bloodshed.”

Emmett snorted. “Five against three, I still think we could have taken them down.” He grumbled, frustration seeping out off him for being denied a challenge, and an unusual one at that. I grinned. My brother has always been the act-first-asked-questions-later-type, completely relying on his physical strength, always eager to show his supremacy in that department.

He was a stubborn hothead, even back in his human days. Who in their right mind would go up against a full-grown bear and believe to come out victorious? Only Emmett.

“Yes, honey, I know. You’ve lost the opportunity of a lifetime.” Rose rolled her eyes, patting his leg. We all knew she was just placating him. “But I am glad for the way things have turned out. The treaty has its perks. We can stay and return to this place whenever we want, without having to fear any retaliation.

“Actually … I have an idea. Remember, two years ago, when we came back, Carlisle had arranged a meeting with the tribal elders to talk and renew the treaty, since you and Alice had joined our coven? Well, maybe we should do the same thing now, explain our … er, temporary return but more importantly let them know that two human drinkers are staying as well. It would certainly show … I don’t know … our good will to play with open cards?”

I smirked. “I like the way you’re thinking, sis.” I said. Carlisle would be very proud of his daughter. “Bella, do you think, you could get in touch with Sam?”

Bella felt happy to be involved in this matter. “I don’t have his number. But I could give Jacob a call. Maybe he will relay the message.” She suggested, shrugging her shoulders. I could tell that she wasn’t completely sure it would work, but she was willing to give it a try, eager to help in any way possible. I wouldn’t stop her, as long as she was staying out of trouble. Knowing her, it would be hard to convince her to stay away from the actual meeting, but there’s always hoping.

“Okay that’s settled then.” Rose said, closing that particular subject, but moving on to next without further delay. “Jasper, you’ve said complications, as in plurals… what else is there?”

I grimaced. “Laurent.” 

“Laurent? What the hell is HE doing here?” Emmett growled, nearly jumping off the couch, but his mate kept him in place.

I could understand his reaction. Werewolves were one thing. We could avoid them, if need be. And with our numbers, and fighting expertise on our side, I was fairly sure we would have the upper hand, if it actually came to a fight. But that would only be the last resort. We would rather leave than start a war with these creatures, which were in fact still human, for the most part.

But having to deal with another one of our kind, who might pose a threat to Bella, well that was another thing all together. Laurent was, or had been, in cahoots with James, the vampire who had caused our family nothing but grief and in Bella’s case enormous physical pain. Sure, he was dead now, thanks to me and Emmett, but still … the mere mention of his former coven member brought back all those horrible memories, we were all trying to forget, or at least bury. None of us wanted a repeat of that, especially not me.

Instinctively, I pulled Bella closer to me. She seemed to sense my distress, and snuggled deeper into my embrace. The contact helped to keep me focused. “We don’t know. He didn’t stick around so we couldn’t ask him. I was hoping you might know something.”

Rose and Emmett shared a brief look, before Rose answered my question. “Well, we didn’t spend much time with the Denali clan. I went hunting with Kate a couple of times, but that’s about it. When we left he was still there.” She said, taking a moment to think. “But … now that you mention it … the color of his eyes was still too close to red than golden. But then again you know, as well as I do, it takes some time to get used to our diet.” She spared me a significant look. She wasn’t judging me. She never did, just pointing out the facts.

It had taken me over a year, six months longer than Alice, to come to terms with the change. My eye color still differed slightly from the rest of them. They were a tad darker, but that was only noticeable to a vampire though. Unfortunately, there had been minor setbacks over the years. But I wanted this life, which was why I’d fought so hard to get back on course, each and every time. I knew I would never be completely impervious to the call of human blood, but by now I had enough strength to withstand its lure, allowing me to be around humans. As long as I didn’t smell freshly spilled blood, I was safe. I still didn’t know how Carlisle was doing it, treating humans with open wounds on a daily basis. Maybe the fact that he’s never tasted human blood was working into his favor.

“But there is something else.” Rose went on. Her tone of voice changed. She sounded rather … smug. “I’m pretty sure he is loyal to the Denali’s, because he is mated to Irina.”

This was certainly interesting news, maybe even good ones.

Irina was the one of the sisters I’d had the least contact with whenever we had been visiting our extended family in Denali. I barely knew anything about her, other than the basics, I’d learned from the others. She, like her sisters, was a succubus, and therefore always eager to get laid. Of course, she’d stayed away from me, because I was supposedly mated to Alice back then, and because she was a little scared of me. Irina had tried her luck with Edward, though, but only once. Apparently she was a little smarter, or less masochistic than her sister Tanya, who always tried to get into Edward’s pants, but failing each and every time. It had been very entertaining to watch them, her persistence and his resulting discomfort.

Kate, on the other hand, was an exception among the sisters. For one, her succubae tendencies weren’t as prominent, and secondly, she preferred to play for the other team, a fact I wasn’t sure everyone knew about (apart from Edward, of course). She seemed to be a very private person.

Eleazar and Carmen were the equivalent to Carlisle and Esme, acting as parental leaders of their coven, although they didn’t share a blood or venom relationship with the sisters. I’d spent some nights talking with Eleazar, me sharing some of my past with Maria, and him telling me about his time among the Volturi guard. Sometimes Carmen had joined us, but she wasn’t as willing to talk about her past as her mate.

It was safe to say that the Denali coven was the closest thing the Cullens had to extended family. We shared the same lifestyle, as in the same diet, and the same views. None of the sisters had to pretend to be high school kids, though, like we had to do so many times.

“And you think, because of his alliance with them, he owns us the same courtesy?” I countered.

“Well, it’s certainly a possibility. He knows about our strong connections with the Denali coven. And I know Irina is one hundred percent loyal to her family and to us. If she’d have to choose I’m sure she’d choose her family over him. You know how tight they are. She and her sisters are both blood and venom related. There is no tighter bond than that.” She argued heatedly. Mere out of instinct, I wanted to respond something, anything, but the sudden spike in Charlotte’s emotions stopped me in time, before I could make a fool out of myself. From the corner of my eye I could see Char nodding her head emphatically. Now that I knew about her gift, I took her reaction as silent confirmation. It gave me some needed comfort.

“Let’s hope you are right about that.” I remarked, addressing both of them, but keeping my eyes on Rose.

“Well … how about we find out?” She proposed, pulling out her cell phone, skimming through the directory.

“Who are you calling?” I asked.

“Kate.” She said. I was surprised, but I didn’t demand an explanation. She clearly had her reason for calling her instead of Irina. And maybe it was the better decision to ask Kate for information than Laurent’s mate. If he betrayed her, she might not be very forthcoming.

The phone rang four times, before it went to voicemail. Damn. Rose left a short message, asking for a return call. She tried to sound nonchalant, but wasn’t completely convincing. But maybe that would work into our favor. The sooner we would get answers the better.

“Well, I guess we have to have a little more patience.” She shrugged, sounding slightly disgruntled. Well, she wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Patience wasn’t one of our strong suits, even with unlimited time at our disposal. That, I’d learned fast.

But I knew this wasn’t the time or the place to panic. After all, I was still a soldier, a strategist. I could wait a little longer for answers. As long as we had a contingency plan, we had nothing to worry about.

I straightened up in the seat, slightly shifting Bella’s position on my lap. “Okay that’s what we are going to do. We will stay together until the situation with the wolves and Laurent is resolved. No one goes out alone, is that clear?” Every vampire nodded in agreement. Peter was the only one who wore a slight smirk on his face. I ignored it, but only because I knew he didn’t think this was funny, no, he was just pleased to see the old me … well part of it anyway. We shared a brief look, and a nod, and then I turned my attention towards my mate. “From now on, there is always going to be someone with you, Bella. And please don’t start to argue, because this isn’t up for discussion. I won’t allow anything happening to you.” I tried my best not to sound like Edward, but the truth was I didn’t care if I did. Her safety was way too important to me. I was surprised but utterly pleased when she didn’t put up a fight. Bella wasn’t happy to be told what to do, but she seemed to comprehend that the situation called for some vigilance.

She smiled up at me. “Well, I don’t mind having you around all the time.” She crooned.

“Careful what you wish for, darlin’.” I playfully growled into her ear, and she shivered in delight. “I might just take you up on your offer. Although, we should probably be careful around the Chief …” I didn’t get to finish my thought.

“Charlie.” Bella exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “What time is it? Past six already … oh shit, I have to go. My Dad will be home soon and I have to make dinner.” She frantically went to search for her things. I stared after her dumbfounded, as she made her way upstairs. A few moments later she was back at the top of the stairs, utterly breathless, but now wearing her boots.

“Easy, there, Bella.” I tried to calm her, but she wouldn’t have any of it. She came down, reaching for her coat, Charlotte was handing her and then she was out of the door.

I followed her outside, with the rest of my family on our trail.

She stood on the porch, searching for something. “Where the fuck is my truck?” She turned around, glaring at Peter. I could feel Emmett’s and Rose’s immense amusement. Both of them hadn’t heard Bella using any kind of foul language before today. But I had come to witness more than once already what lay beneath the surface. What she had shown Edward and the rest of the Cullens had been just a façade, an image. I loved the Real Bella, and her foul mouth.

Peter grinned. “I’ve parked … er, stashed your vehicle behind the garage.” He said. Bella frowned at him, but didn’t ask for a reason. She simply shrugged and made her way around the garage to her truck. The rest of us followed her.

She sat behind the wheel, trying to start the engine, but the ignition didn’t fire. She gave it a few more tries, before she slammed her hands down on the wheel in resignation.

“My truck won’t start.” She cursed loudly. “Peter, what the fuck did you do?” The grumpy look on her face was truly adorable.

“I haven’t done anything, little lady.” Peter defended himself. Bella grumbled something unintelligible, clearly not believing him. I didn’t either, not completely anyway, because I could tell he was hiding something from me and from her. But sensing Bella’s urgency to get home in time, I discarded my suspicion … for now. 

But before I could offer her a ride on my back, Rose stepped up. “No biggie, I can take you home.” Rose said, surprising all of us. “I’ll even take a look at your truck later, if you want.” She added, phrasing her offer carefully. “I’m sure I can fix whatever is wrong until tomorrow morning.” 

“That would be nice. Thank you, Rose.” Bella replied. Both women smiled at each other tentatively. It was another, very important step in their blooming relationship. I could feel it. And I was happy about it, no question there, but I still felt robbed of the possibility to take care of my mate.

Bella reached for her back bag, and then she climbed out of the truck, leaving the key stuck in the ignition.

Then she looked at me and saw the sad look on my face. She dropped her bag to the ground and threw her arms around my neck. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer, not wanting to let her go.

“I know you want to take me home yourself, Jasper. But I think you really need to hunt.” She said, tracing the circles underneath my eyes. I was a little hungry, as expected after all that emotional drama. “I’ll be fine with Rosalie, I promise.”

“Yeah, I know.” I replied, grumpily.

“You’re cute, when you’re pouting.” Bella remarked, kissing me once, swiftly. “I’ll leave the window open for you.” She whispered, winking at me.

“You’ll better.” I growled, pulling her in for another, more passionate kiss. When I let go of her, she stumbled back slightly, fighting to catch her breath. “And you’re cute, when you’re blushing.” She stuck out her tongue, and I chuckled at her silly antics. She grabbed her bag and followed Rose to Emmett’s jeep. The rest of us tagged along.

“I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Bella said, before climbing into the passenger side of the jeep.

“Don’t worry, Jasper, I’ll make sure she gets home alright.” Rose promised, getting behind the wheel.

“I know.” I replied, adding in a low voice, inaudible to a human ear, “Please stay with her until her father gets home.” I pleaded. She nodded once, closing the door. Then she rolled down the window, leaning her head out and saying her goodbye to her husband in a form of a short, but loving kiss.

“See you, Bella.” Emmett called out, clearly fighting the urge to call her ‘little sis’, like he used to.

“See you, Emmett.” Bella replied, just as awkward. But she gave him a little smile, which lightened up his mood marginally.

Rose closed the window and then they drove off. Just like this morning, I stared after them, until the vehicle vanished completely from sight. I reluctantly turned around to discover the only person left in the yard was Peter. And he was grinning like a fool.

“You orchestrated this, didn’t you?” I accused him.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” He said, turning his back on me and strolling back into the house.

 

\+ + + + 

 

A few months earlier …

 

Edward POV

 

I couldn’t take it anymore, I simply had to leave. Hiding in my room, going hunting on my own, avoiding the remaining members of my family most of the time … it wasn’t working for me, not anymore. I needed a break, mentally and physically. A place where it was truly quiet and no thoughts of resentment, guilt or sorrow could plague my already tortured mind.

Rosalie called me a moping idiot out loud and in her mind, more than twice. We’ve never been very close, so her resentful behavior didn’t come as a surprise to me. But now she was deliberately trying to get a rise out of me, using me as an outlet for her own anger, but I didn’t care. I was just glad that she avoided me otherwise. Ever since we’ve arrived in Alaska she’d spent most of her time either with her mate or with Kate.

Esme, being the loving mother that she was, tried to give me space and time to grieve my loss. While my sister blamed me for everything that had gone wrong in the recent past, my mother felt nothing but sympathy for my situation. Though I appreciated her sentiment, I wasn’t sure I truly deserved it.

Rosalie wasn’t that far off from the truth with her assessment. I was to blame, at the very least for the feeling of loss my family was experiencing after our departure.

Emmett and Carlisle agreed with their spouses, for the most part, willingly following their example by leaving me alone, for which I was more than grateful, considering their own mental state. But then again they had every right to be angry and disappointed with me.

The fight we’d had back in Forks was still fresh in my mind. How could I forget that? It had been the worst fight we’ve ever had, as a family, even worse than the argument we’d had after I’d saved Bella’s life for the first time, by jumping between her and Tyler’s van. Back then they had been angry with me for acting so recklessly, putting our very existence at risk, by exposing our secret to a human.

But now things were different.

A lot had happened in the meantime. Against all odds, Bella had managed to become a true member of my family … a beloved daughter, a little sister, a treasured friend. And how could they not love her? She was literally the personification of pure goodness, an angel, someone who should be protected at all costs, especially from a monster like me.

Although I hadn’t expected anything less, I still had been a little surprised by Emmett’s passionate reaction. He had fought so hard, not holding back one bit, attacking me with words only, but still … his words had managed to cut me deeper than a set of vampire teeth could have. I knew he still hated me for denying him his simple request, the chance to say goodbye to his little sister in person instead of dumping her like trash on the side road (his words not mine). I was certain he would have tried to remove more than one part of my body, if he knew how I ended things with Bella.

I could still see her face in my mind. I would never forget how sad she looked, how hurt and broken, when I told her that I didn’t want her anymore, that I didn’t love her and that I was leaving, taking my family with me. I still couldn’t believe how easy it had been to convince her. It might sound cruel and completely out of line, but the truth was that I’d expected it to be more difficult. I had been prepared to argue, to make her see reason, but Bella hadn’t put up much of a fight, simply nodding in acceptance, almost like she had been waiting for it to happen.

How could she believe me so fast? I’d told her time and time again that I loved her. And she had responded in kind just as often. Then why hadn’t she fought more? Was I such a convincing liar? Apparently … but in the end the reason didn’t matter. I was relieved, because her quick acceptance had made things a little easier for me. I knew I shouldn’t feel glad about it, but I was.

Without a doubt, I was physically strong, but mentally … not so much. I wasn’t sure I would have been strong enough to uphold my charade if she’d reacted differently, if she’d actually argued with me.

In fact, there was another thing, an important detail, Emmett didn’t know about. I’d been very close to give in to his demand, allowing him to see Bella one last time, as long as we would to take our leave in the end.

I wasn’t deliberately cruel, just desperate … desperate to give Bella what she truly deserved: A demon-free life, a human life with all its pleasures and opportunities, things that I could never offer her … a physical relationship, a real family, a true future.

But Alice’s timely interference had prevented me from verbalizing my offer, stopping me from making things worse than they’d already been. We all knew better than to ignore her visions, and since nobody wanted to harm Bella further, we’d heeded her warning words and left.

It was the right decision. I was sure about that. As much as it pained me to be away from Bella, to see my family suffer, I still believed it was the only real choice. Sure, at first I’d only blamed Jasper, but to be honest his reaction at Bella’s birthday party was just the tip of the iceberg. I should have known better. We all should have known better.

We were death in disguise, end of story.

True, for years we’ve tried our best to better ourselves. We’ve tried to live in a world that was no longer ours. But try as we might, we could never be one of them again.

We have been deluding ourselves. Allowing a human in our midst, pretending that it was alright, that it was safe. But I’ve been the biggest fool of us all. I should have listened to Jasper’s and Rosalie’s warning. Bella wasn’t one of us, thereby in constant danger of getting herself hurt or even worse, killed.

But I was arrogant and selfish, driven by the urge to prove myself and the desire to solve the mystery that was one Bella Swan, which was why I’d disregarded all warnings. But it was stupid to believe that spending time with Bella, getting to know her would make things easier, that I would get used to her alluring scent. But the truth remained the same. Every moment I spent in her presence I had to fight the urge to sink my teeth into her neck and drain her dry. 

It still made no sense to me that I was able to suck out James’ venom, back in that dance studio in Phoenix, and thereby saving her from becoming one of us.

I still felt bad about the fact that I’d sort of lied to her in the hospital. I’d told her my love for her had been the sole reason to stop in time. But the truth was that it was mainly the fear of her becoming a bloodthirsty vampire that had given me strength to accomplish the task in the end. But how could I have told her that?

It was a miracle that it had worked at all. She tasted even better than she smelled. Only thinking about the taste of her blood made my mouth water with venom.

And she had no idea how much harder it had become to be around her after that day.

“Mind over matter …” I’d told her once. Yeah, right … what a load of bullshit.

Every time she’d kissed me after our return to Forks, the burn in my throat had increased tenfold. I’d stopped spending the night lying next to her. Instead I’d retreated to her rocking chair as soon as she’d fallen asleep, only to return to her side when she’d started to stir. One more thing Bella didn’t know about.

So why did I stay? Simple. Because I loved her, despite all the obstacles. And how could I not? Everybody loved Bella, even Rosalie … in her own, special way.

Bella was unique. She had the purest soul I’d ever encountered.

And what did I do?

I broke her.

I broke the girl I loved.

I should have stayed away from her from the start. It was stupid to believe that getting to know her would make things better, easier. Bella had no place in our world, not only because she was human and thereby weak. She was simply too good, too precious. I knew that she would have sacrificed her humanity and her soul to spend eternity with me without a second thought, because she loved me that much. She had told me so at prom.

But she didn’t understand the consequences. She didn’t know what she was giving up. And she certainly didn’t know what it meant to fight the thirst for blood each and every second, of every day, for eternity. It was a never-ending struggle.

 

\+ + +

 

I went south … on foot, of course. Taking my car with me was out of the question. It had GPS installed, and with that it would have been too easy to track me down. But I didn’t want to be found. I wanted to be alone. And I didn’t need a car to get around anyway. As much as I enjoyed speeding down an empty highway, I preferred running. Feeling the wind, the speed, the freedom was truly exhilarating and the only feeling of true joy I knew … besides playing my piano.

Aside from a change of clothes and some writing material, I’d packed enough cash to last me for a while, years perhaps, since I didn’t really need anything. Of course I’d taken my cell phone with me, just in case. But I left it turned off. For one, I needed to save the battery. Out here in the wilderness it was very hard to find a socket to charge it. But more importantly my family could have used it to pinpoint my location, in the same way they could have done with my car.

Of course I appreciated modern technology. How could I not? A lot has changed since my human days, especially in the last decade, and most of the improvements turned out to be very handy, even for a vampire. But right now I hated those tiny devices, those chips, making it possible to locate me whenever, wherever I was going. Like it wasn’t enough to have a sister who could track each and every move I was planning to make.

But I had another reason for leaving my phone off. I knew that Esme and Carlisle would try and check in with me. Even though they were not that much older than me, physically, and with Esme being indeed younger than me in vampire years, they had easily replaced the set of parents I’d lost all those years ago. I had the utmost respect for Carlisle and Esme, loved them with all my heart. I wouldn’t have been able to ignore the ringing for long. This way it was much easier. I hated causing them more pain, but I needed time. I would call them eventually … when I was ready.

I found a small, vacated hunting cabin in the woods of the Rocky Mountains, far enough away from any human population. Considering the less than perfect shape of the cabin I didn’t expect anyone to show up here and reclaim this place. It wasn’t like I really needed a place to stay, but I welcomed the prospect of having a roof over my head, just in case I needed shelter from the weather. Maybe I just was too used to having some comfort at least, but in any case, it was nice to have a place where you could sit or lie down, even if I didn’t have the need to rest, physically.

I cleaned up the place as best as I could, even making some minor repairs, like fixing the windows and the damage of the roof. For now, it would suffice.

It was beautiful out here … and oh so quiet. It was just what I needed right now. No thoughts of any kind, slowly driving me insane, only the sounds of nature. It was pure bliss.

I didn’t know how long I was going to stay here. I had no real plan. I just needed some time to rest, to come to terms with all the things that had gone wrong over the past weeks, or better yet, months. In a house full of vampires it had been sheer impossible for me to relax, to let go, but out here, I was free to let my mind wander … and drown in my guilty feelings.

Alice had been the only person who’d tried to reach out to me, but I didn’t want her help. I didn’t really feel I deserved anyone’s help or sympathy for that matter. I’d come to the conclusion that I had no right to mourn my loss at all. I had screwed up everything. Sure, it had been Jasper who’d lunged for Bella, but it had been me who’d caused the actual damage to her fragile body. And that was just one more reason, why I had to leave Bella. I couldn’t be trusted around her.

But now I was alone.

At least that’s what I thought. For the last couple of days I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone or something was watching me, following me whenever I was outside hunting or simply strolling through the area.

At first I thought it was Alice. Even though I’d told her not to follow me, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d gone against my wishes. It wouldn’t have been the first time. I knew that she had been planning to leave the family as well. I had read it in her mind. But just like me she hadn’t made up her mind about where to go to or what to do next.

A part of me still hoped that she would go and search for Jasper, despite the things she’s said about him not being her mate. To this day, I had no idea if it was true, but deep down I was sure that she still cared about him, just like I still cared about Bella, even though I’d left her. Despite his actions and the resulting consequences, he was still part of our family. He deserved forgiveness.

Maybe Alice wanted to give me a head start, and some time alone, before she would finally catch up with me. But then again if it had been Alice, she would have shown herself, instead of playing cat and mouse with me.

Whoever it was, kept his distance. I couldn’t pick up the scent of another vampire, or the usual tenor of a mind, always warning me in advance whenever someone was close. But there was nothing, no thoughts, no scent. Maybe I was just imagining things.

‘There is no one out here in the woods … just you and wild animals …’ I assured myself, more or less convincingly, before I made my way back to the cabin.


	28. Calm before the storm

Jasper POV

 

Char and Peter took off hunting shortly after Rose and Bella left, taking her new car this time. For a moment I wondered why they didn’t just made their way to Port Angeles on foot, but since I had more important things on my mind, I didn’t bother to ask. Who knew, maybe they wanted to hunt farther away this time, just to be safe, or planned to take a little shopping trip.

I was simply too anxious to care about such things.

Ever since my mate had left with my sister the eerie ache in my chest was back, not at full force like earlier today when I was in Seattle with Char, but still strong enough to cause me some noticeable discomfort, like an itch I couldn’t reach to scratch. I could detect a similar reaction in Emmett due to Rose’s absence, but apparently he was somewhat used to it by now, able to suppress it. Understandably though, given that they were mated for over half a century. Like Char had told me, it would get easier in time … which was a relief in theory, but for now reality just sucked.

“So, Jasper, are you ready to go?” Emmett called my attention, clearly ecstatic about the idea of going hunting with me. His mood was quite catching, smothering the part of me that wanted to stay put and mope. The chance of spending some quality time with Emmett and getting some grub while we were at it, sounded too good to pass up. Even though the whole thing was Peter’s idea …

“Yes … just give me a minute to get changed into something else.” I replied. Emmett raised an eyebrow in question, but I didn’t stick around to give him an explanation. His booming laughter followed me up the stairs.

Seconds later I was in my room, stripping off my pants and my shirt. I didn’t want to ruin them, which was a likely possibility during a hunt with Emmett. Things could get a little rough sometimes. More than once we had come home from one of our hunting sessions with our clothes torn to shreds and drenched in animal blood and dirt, always causing Alice to have one of her legendary hissy fits. Although we all owed mountains of clothes and she’s never allowed us to wear something twice, she still hated it when we didn’t treat our clothes with the utmost respect.

She had been such a nagging spoilsport sometimes, perfectly knowing that we guys, mainly Em and I, needed some sort of physical outlet. We were male vampires, for God’s sake. Fighting, even if only for fun, was part of our nature. Sure, sex was a great way too to let off steam, which was why Emmett and Rose had such an active love life. But Alice and I … well in that area something had been missing.

‘True passion …’

Anyhow … I wanted to keep these specific clothes intact, since it had been obvious that Bella liked seeing me in them, and her scent was all over them too. So in case I would be unable to spend a night with her, I had something to remember her by, to snuggle in.

‘God, I’m turning into such a sap.’

I rummaged through the drawers to find something of no value, pulling out a pair of old jeans and another plain shirt. They would do. I quickly got dressed, slipping my cell into my front pocket, and then I went back downstairs.

“Just like the good old times, right?” He said cheerfully, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

“Yes, I’m sure it will be.” I chuckled.

A second later we were out of house, racing through the woods. Speed wise we were evenly matched. Edward had always been the one who’d outrun us all. Emmett, being Emmett tried more than once to take me down, but of course I always managed to dodge his feeble attempts. I didn’t need Edward’s gift. My own was quite enough to anticipate his moves, not to mention my decades of fighting experience working to my advantage. But it was fun nonetheless.

But soon we decided to go our different ways. It wouldn’t be wise to hunt in close proximity. Sharing a meal with your mate was one thing, a rare one even, but two males would most likely end up tearing each other apart. Our territorial behavior was simply too strong to ignore.

Emmett was hoping to find a bear, clearly in need to let off some steam, since I was neglecting to indulge him on a fighting match. I knew the chance of finding a bear was rather slim to none at this time of year. But knowing Emmett he would find a cave and wake the bear from hibernation, just to have some fun.

I wasn’t really hungry, which why I wasn’t as picky as usual. And there wasn’t any real selection around here anyway. I took down the first deer that came across my path and drained it quickly. I buried the carcass, and then I made my way back to a small clearing, waiting for Emmett to find me.

I sat down on a tree trunk, watching the sun descend through the thicket. I knew it wouldn’t be long before she would completely disappear, thirty minutes at the most. It was kinda romantic out here … the colors, the stillness and the atmosphere was soothing. I wished I could share this moment with Bella, although she might mind the chill.

Before I was able to drown myself in my misery, Emmett emerged from the east. His appearance was nothing I hadn’t seen before. His clothes were dirty, and his shirt was ripped. One of the sleeves was missing completely. There were leaves and twigs stuck in his short curls. Simply put, he looked like a mess.

“I see you were in luck.” I stated, shaking my head at his antics. His table manners were that of a five-year-old child eating spaghetti. There were smudges of blood all over his clothes.

“Yeah,” he grinned, “You know me, nothing is better than an irritated grizzly in the evening.”

“God, you are such a child sometimes.”

“Now you sound like Alice … or even worse, like Edward.” He snickered. I growled at the comparison. “Come on. Don’t tell me you haven’t missed this? Us … together hunting … having fun?” He flopped on the ground next me, moving his right hand through his hair. With an annoyed look on his face he started to pluck the dirt out off his hair.

“Sure, I missed it. But more importantly … I missed you guys.” I admitted, letting him feel my sincerity through my gift.

He stopped mid-cleaning, frowning at me. “Yeah, we missed you too, bro. Sorry, that we didn’t come looking for you.”

“Wouldn’t have done you any good anyway …” I tried to console him.

“Maybe, but we should have tried … I should have listened to Rose. She tried to convince me time and time again, to go and find you. But I was so mad. I couldn’t think straight. I know you didn’t mean to … when … when … you know … Bella is right … our combined bloodlust was too much for anyone to handle, especially you … I should have known that … I’m so sorry.” He ended his rant on a pleading note, but too ashamed to meet my eyes.

“Stop with the guilt trip already, Em. It’s making me nauseous.” I joked, semi-sincerely. But it seemed to do the trick.

His mood improved … somewhat. “So, still brothers?” He pressed, giving me his trademark dimpled smile, crushing the twig he’d been playing with into dust.

I grinned. “Of course, we are. Nothing will ever change that.” I said, clapping him on the back. “Unless … well you know all bets are off if you do anything to upset my mate. Am I making myself clear?” I accentuated my threat with a meaningful look.

Emmett cringed. “I get it. I won’t, I promise. Oh God, things are so messed up right now. How did we get here? A couple of months ago everything was fine … yeah I know she was still with Edward, and you probably don’t want to be reminded of that. But still, you know what I mean. I didn’t want to leave her, but I did it anyway. Why didn’t I fight harder? I get why she is so angry with me and I know I don’t deserve her forgiveness. But please tell me there is a viable chance that Bella will forgive me.” He implored.

“She will. I’m sure she will.” I assured him. “But it won’t happen overnight. You really need to have patience with her. She needs some time. But she will forgive you … eventually.”

“That’s good.” He sighed in relief.

Maybe it wasn’t my place to tell him, but I saw no other choice. I knew my brother. He would do pretty much anything to get back into my mate’s good graces. Patience and diplomacy weren’t exactly his strong suits. I knew how fragile Bella truly was despite her outward appearance. She was still very upset.

I decided it was for the best to fill him in. Bella could yell at me later. I took in a deep breath. “It hasn’t been easy for Bella after … well you know, after we all left her. That day had changed everything for her … for all of us. The trust she had put in us, without any reservation whatsoever, had been shattered … almost beyond repair. She is still dealing with major abandonment issues. She seems to be strong and believe me, she is a hell of a fighter, but she still suffers. When I got here on Saturday she was so furious with me. She yelled at me, not holding back one bit. I’ve never seen her so angry, so uninhibited. I didn’t know she had it in her.” I laughed at the memory. “But the funny thing is she was never angry with me for trying to kill her. No, she was only disappointed that I left, that we all left.

“She loved us, so deeply, and we left her, Emmett. We just left her. We all did a number on her self-esteem, not just Edward. Though, what HE did puts us leaving without saying goodbye to shame.” I growled, remembering the night Bella shared her memories with me. I still wanted to hit someone, preferably Edward.

“What do you mean?” Emmett pressed.

“He broke her, metaphorically speaking. I won’t go into specifics here, because I’m not so sure she wants me to tell you.” I started. I could sense Emmett’s resentment and blame rise once more, which, I was sure this time was mainly directed at his bronze haired brother. Thanks to my gift I was able to keep his negative feelings at bay. I didn’t even consider replacing them with positive ones. He had a right to his own feelings. And yet, I hurried to continue. “But I’m sure she will fill you in when she is ready. In fact, she didn’t tell me every detail either … not right away anyway. I’m pretty sure the only reason why she came to trust me again, so fast, is the fact that I am her mate, her true mate.

“Anyhow … I can tell you this much. The things he said to her, the way he broke up with her … it left its mark on her heart. I don’t know how she is able to show me any kind of affection, how she can trust me, after what Edward did, after what I almost did … but I’m glad that she does.” I groaned, rubbing my chest right above my dead heart. Thinking about my mate seemed to increase the throbbing pain.

Emmett was clearly lost for words, but his emotional turmoil spoke volumes, only adding to my discomfort. I pushed as much calm I could muster into him, with the desired effect. He considerably loosened up.

He glanced at me. “It sucks doesn’t it? The pain, I mean …” My brother mused, smirking maliciously.

“Be grateful that I can feel your sympathy otherwise I would gladly kick your ass.” I shot back, matching his grin with one of mine. “But to answer your question, I can’t say that I’m enjoying the sensation. But from what I’ve been told, it will get better. And compared to what I’ve endured in my past life, this is definitely manageable … a walk in the park.”

Emmett nodded, frowning. “Does Bella know about your past?”

“Yes. I told her … maybe not every detail, but she knows enough. Bella is my life now, my reason for being … more than I’ve ever dared to dream about finding, and certainly more than I deserve to have … and I won’t keep secrets from her.”

“And how did she did take it? Was she terrified?” He asked, probably remembering our first encounter and his own reaction, and that of the rest of his family. Everybody had been a little on edge when we first met, which was putting it lightly. My scars were like billboards, screaming danger. Every vampire knew what they meant, instinctively, or if they were unlucky, from personal experience.

I laughed. “No, actually she wasn’t. You know how Bella is. Always sympathetic, never judging. Without a second thought she forgave me for everything … for all the horrific things I did in my past, including my attempt to kill her.” I said, shaking my head. I still couldn’t believe it.

“Bella is truly one of a kind.” Emmett stated with chuckle, and I joined in. His feelings towards his little sister were strong and clear … love, admiration, and a strong desire to protect her. I let them wash over me, enjoying their pureness.

“Yes, she is.” I agreed. “And the way she has Peter wrapped around her little finger, not to mention Char, is truly astounding. They already think of her as a sister, and they hardly know her.”

Emmett huffed in annoyance. I could tell that he was a little jealous. “Emmett, there is no need to feel this way.” I reprimanded him, but in gentle way. “Believe me. I know for a fact that deep down Bella still thinks of you as her big brother. Despite of what she’d said earlier, she still loves you.”

“If you say so …” He grumbled.

I chuckled at his petulant behavior. “Empath, remember.” I said, pointing at myself.

Emmett rolled his eyes at me, swiftly changing the subject. “So, I take it that you are planning to stay here.” He assumed.

“Yes, until she has finished school. I don’t know what we are going to do after that … I guess she wants to go to the university somewhere. I only hope that she does. I don’t mind staying here for now, but I have no intention to remain here longer than necessary.”

“Too many bad memories …” Emmett concluded, gloomily.

“Yes, something like that …” I muttered, moving to get on my feet. “Come on. Let’s go back to the house, and get cleaned up. I really want to check up on Bella.”

“Are you telling me you don’t you trust my wife? I’m shocked.” Emmett mocked, jumping on his feet. 

Was this his attempt to cheer me up? I snorted. It was tenuous at best. “You know very well that’s not the reason.” I replied, rolling my eyes. “If anything, Rose is probably the safest bet among us. Although, I have to admit that I was a little surprised that Bella did take Rose up on her offer so quickly … and so eagerly.”

“Yeah, me too.” Emmett confessed, scratching his head.

“It makes sense though … they have less baggage.” I mused.

“Point taken.” He allowed, grudgingly.

With that our conversation was finished and we took off running back to the house, not at full speed, but still fast enough.

A few minutes later a very familiar stench made me stumble in my otherwise sure steps. It was already very strong, but seemed to increase in its intensity the further we got. I considerably slowed down my strides, eventually coming to a complete halt. Emmett copied my action, moving to my side.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, slightly worried, but mostly confused.

“Did we cross the treaty line?” I asked him. Unfortunately, there wasn’t an actual border line, like a fence or something, dividing our territory from theirs, which was part of the reason, why I’ve always avoided going anywhere near their territory. I didn’t want to provoke them by accidentally stepping over the line.

“No, I’m sure, we haven’t. But I can see … er, smell what you mean.” He said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

I could sense them, before I could actually see them. “Prepare yourself. We are going to have company.”

Emmett immediately moved into a crouch, frantically scanning the area in front of us. “How many?” He whispered, a mixture of excitement and anxiousness rolling of him in waves. I pushed against it, knowing it would be for the best to keep Emmett’s emotions in check, as well as my own, otherwise this could end badly.

“That’s probably a bad idea.” I hissed, reaching for his arm. I pulled him to his feet, rather harshly. “We really don’t want to send them the wrong message.” I warned, sparing him a significant look. He nodded tersely, moving to stand behind me.

“How many?” He repeated his question.

“Three.” I answered in a very low voice, barely above a whisper.

I was tense, very tense. I wasn’t concerned about the uneven number, more about facing the unknown. I didn’t like not knowing what to expect. And never having encountered a werewolf before definitely fell into that category.

Because the stench was almost unbearable at this point, I stopped breathing altogether, immensely grateful that I had no need for oxygen. By now I could hear their heartbeats loud and clear, even though they were still out of sight. I didn’t know if it was normal for a werewolf to have an accelerated heartbeat, or not, but according to their emotions they were very anxious, which could be a reasonable explanation for it.

I concentrated hard, feeling the need to gather as much information before we would come face to face with our opponent. I could tell that one of them was trying very hard to maintain a level head. I couldn’t be sure, but something told me that he was the one in command. And there was something else. It almost seemed like they were having a conversation, which was ludicrous of course, since they were animals … at least for the moment.

I had to admit that, despite my discomfort, I was highly intrigued. But realizing that right now was not the right time for such a sentiment, so I squashed it down. I needed to stay alert, on top of the situation.

“Stay behind me and let me do the talking.” I instructed my brother, who silently agreed with me.

A moment later three enormous furry creatures came into few. Even though it wasn’t his first time, Emmett let out a strangled noise, more or less resembling a gasp of surprise. I nearly did the same, but caught myself just in time.

They were huge. To call them wolves would be a disgrace to the real ones. They looked more like overgrown, misshaped dogs with too much fur. In fact they were almost as big as horses.

The one in the lead was completely black and slightly bigger than the two others flanking him. The one on his right side had grey fur, while the other was brown with highlighted areas on the back. At least this way it was easy to tell them apart. For a split second I wondered how many more of them existed elsewhere. But I doubted they would give up that vital piece of information voluntarily. 

The wolves stopped a few feet away from us, thus keeping a safe distance. It was probably for the best. They wouldn’t let me or Emmett out of their sight, though it was obvious that the black one was far more interested in me than my brother. I kept my pose as nonthreatening as possible, but at the same time I didn’t want them to think I was intimidated, which of course I wasn’t. It would take a lot more than three oversized puppies to scare me. The black wolf seemed to recognize my authority, and vice versa. It was obvious, from his stance and his emotions, that he was the one in charge.

‘The pack leader … the alpha … whatever …’

It was nearly impossible not to answer the constant growling of the other two with one of my own. Emmett was having an even harder time to keep himself in check. Almost like reading my mind, the black wolf barked out some sort of order, and his companions suddenly fell silent.

‘So far so good …’

Then he cocked his head to one side, scrutinizing me intensely. Before I was able to interpret the shift in his emotions completely, he bolted, disappearing behind a tree. The other two stayed put, but their level of discomfort spiked dramatically.

‘What the hell is he up to?’

The entire time I’d been using my gift on them (and on Emmett), but I kept the output of my calming influence at a steady, intermediate level, since I didn’t want to knock them out. I was just glad that it worked at all. For all I knew, they could have been impervious to my gift.

Surprisingly though, they seemed to be quite aware that they were being manipulated. And one thing was for sure, they didn’t like it, not one bit. Of course, they tried to fight it off, with very little success. So, the wolves were aware that some vampires were specially gifted. That made me wonder what else they might know.

The air crackled with energy, and a second later a tall, broad-shouldered man with short black hair rejoined the two remaining wolves. He was naked, except for a pair of short pants. Funny, I hadn’t noticed it before, but there was some piece of clothing fastened to one of the hind legs on each of the remaining wolves.

‘How resourceful …’ I was sure they did it merely for modest reasons, since it was obvious that the cold didn’t seem to bother their leader at all, even now without all the fur protecting his skin.

“We just came here to talk.” He announced, tersely. His voice was deep, and the implication behind his words was plain obvious. He didn’t want to be here anymore than Emmett and I.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

The ride home in Emmett’s jeep was short, and for the most part pleasant. As much as I loved my old truck, riding in a vehicle that could go over fifty miles an hour and didn’t make these weird rumbling noises all of the time was a nice change. To my surprise Rosalie kept to the speed limit. I was grateful for that though, clearly remembering how Edward’s driving sometimes used to scare the living crap out of me.

It was the silence between me and Rosalie that was a little unsettling, but then again it was totally understandable, since we didn’t know each other that well. Or at all. And what should we talk about? The weather, her nice shoes, school … Hardly. Apparently, we had at least one thing in common. Neither one of us felt the need to fill the void with silly chitchat.

We were just pulling into the driveway in front of my house, when Rosalie’s phone beeped. She shut down the engine and pulled her cell out. She quickly read the text message, grumbling something I wasn’t able to hear. But from the irritated expression on her face, I surmised that it couldn’t be anything good. She huffed and then put her phone away.

I couldn’t help myself, I simply needed to ask. “Is there a problem?”

“No. Everything is just peachy.” She answered in a clipped tone. I almost smiled. Almost. One thing was for sure, Rosalie wasn’t known for hiding her true feelings, from anyone. In some way, I respected her straightforwardness. At least you knew where you stood with her. But unfortunately, she hardly ever explained her reasons behind her feelings, at least not to me.

“Well, thanks for the ride.” I said. I quickly unfastened my seatbelt, not seeing a reason for remaining in the car any longer, since it didn’t look like she was planning to give me a real answer. I grabbed my backpack, but when I reached for the door handle, Rosalie stopped me by gently laying a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s nothing bad, Bella. The message was from Peter.” She told me, without hesitation. Or so it seemed. “He just wrote that I should stay with you. That’s all. Well not quite … he made it very clear it was imperative that I don’t leave you alone until Jasper is back. He emphasized the word with three exclamation marks. Cryptic bastard. Something tells me that he knows more, but for some reason doesn’t want to tell me.” She seethed.

“He probably does.” I commented with a chuckle. Rosalie looked at me with a frown on her face. For a moment I pondered if I should tell her about Peter’s gift, but I decided against it. ‘Not my place …’

I opened the door, and stepped out of the vehicle. “Well … why don’t you come in then?” I offered, making it actually sound like an invitation. The truth was I didn’t mind spending some more time with her, trying to get to know her better. ‘This could certainly be interesting …’

I was far more concerned about how I should explain her presence to Charlie. Without a doubt he wouldn’t be as forgiving, not after experiencing my suffering right along with me. But I took comfort in the fact that he would meet Rosalie first. I was not quite ready yet to tell him about my involvement with Edward’s brother. That step would take some more time and preparation.

With a sigh I turned away from the jeep, walking straight to the front porch. I searched my bag for the keys. Even though I heard her door open and close, I didn’t hear her approach. I jumped, startling by her sudden appearance at my side.

“Sorry.” She apologized, meaning it.

“I’m fine.” I assured her, unlocking the front door. She followed me into the living room. “Make yourself comfortable. I know it’s not much, but it is …”

“Home.” Rosalie finished my sentence, in a wistful voice. She smiled warmly, letting her eyes sweep around the room.

I nodded, surprised by her reaction. She seemed rather intrigued, instead of repelled. “Yes … I’m just going upstairs to change my clothes. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

“Take your time.” She said, walking over to the mantelpiece to look at the pictures lined up there. I shook my head, but didn’t linger. I turned, leaving her in the living room. I headed straight for the stairs, taking two at the time. I quickly changed my outfit, putting on a pair of comfortable sweatpants and a plain shirt. Then I rejoined Rosalie downstairs. She had one of the pictures in her hand, turning around just when I reached the last step.

“You were an adorable child.” She remarked, genuinely, carefully putting the picture back. Most of the pictures were showing me, like a sort of visual timeline from my day of birth until today. This particular one showed me and my father at a fair near Seattle. I was five at the time, sitting on my father’s shoulders with a small stuffed giraffe, which he’d won for me at some game, smiling in the camera. One of my frontal teeth was missing, and my face was smeared with remains of chocolate ice-cream.

Rosalie was right. It was a cute photo, and certainly one of the less embarrassing pictures on display. There was one of me, all dressed up in fishing gear, holding a large fishing pole … and I was drenched. More than once, I’d managed to fall into the river while being on a fishing trip with my Dad. That was part of the reason why I hated it. But even though, I’d always agreed to join him each and every time, just because I wanted to spend as much time with my father as possible, considering we used to see each other only two or three times a year. And it had made Charlie happy.

I didn’t know how to respond to Rosalie’s comment. I was flattered, for sure, but there was something in her eyes. Grief … and a strange longing I couldn’t quite comprehend. I simply stared at her, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

“I really should start making dinner.” I blurted out, really glad to have an excuse to leave the room, before it could get any more awkward. I practically ran into the kitchen. I went straight to the fridge and opened it.

The selection was minimal. ‘I really need to go shopping tomorrow …’ Of course, the freezer was stocked with fresh fish, but I knew that would take too long. Charlie was due to be home in half an hour. 

I decided to make a simple pasta dish. And there were still some vegetables left, enough to make a salad to go with the main course. I knew that Charlie wouldn’t mind, as long as he would get a home cooked meal, he was happy. In this we were the same … easy to please.

When I turned around, I came to realize that Rosalie had managed once again to follow me without making a sound whatsoever. But this time I was prepared, kinda expecting her to be in here instead of remaining in the living room.

The gorgeous blonde vampire sat at the small kitchen table, playing absentmindedly with the salt and pepper shaker. Even though she didn’t seem to mind to be here, she looked quite out of place. Someone like her who belonged on the cover of every fashion magazine there was, shouldn’t be forced to babysit a silly human like me.

I was sure that she was just as unsure and nervous as I was. It was, after all, the first time we were alone, without someone acting as a buffer. Of course, I knew she wouldn’t harm me, physically. But to be frank, I was more concerned about getting hurt emotionally. Her words had the tendency to cut deeper than I imagined her teeth would. But then I remembered the way she had acted back at the Cullen house. Maybe she had changed. ‘One way to find out …’

“Can I offer you something to drink?” I asked, politely, trying to eliminate some of the tension by making a joke … a very bad one at that, considering I was talking to a vampire.

She stared at me for a moment, probably thinking I finally lost my mind, before she burst out laughing. I joined in, savoring the sight. I’ve never seen her so … carefree. Gone was the constant grimace. A genuine smile took its place, making her look even more beautiful. I had no idea that was even possible.

“You got some wicked humor there, Bella. I didn’t know you had it in you. But I like it.” She chuckled. “And to answer your question … No, thank you, I’m fine.”

“That’s good to know.” I let out a fake breath of relief. “And I definitely don’t want you to get sick, by making you drink something that isn’t compatible with your system.”

“You care about my wellbeing. I’m touched.” Rosalie replied. There was something her voice that told me she was only partially joking. “Actually, I haven’t consumed any kind of human food since my change. And having witnessed what it can do … thanks to Emmett’s repeated tryouts … I think I’ll pass.” She said, making a face of pure repulsion. “It is a pretty unpleasant sight.”

“I can imagine.” I grinned. It wasn’t a big shock that Emmett was foolish enough to try this more than once. This was so like him. Edward had told me there was only one way to get rid of human food, solid or liquid. ‘The same way it gets in …’ The mere thought of it made me shudder. “We really need a change of subject. I am just about to prepare a meal, and we are talking about puking. It’s highly inappropriate, don’t you think?” I pointed out.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Rosalie concurred.

I turned my back on her and started to wash the vegetables. Just then, I could hear the chair scratching the floor. I knew she did it on purpose, thus letting me know that she was approaching. She came to stand beside me.

“Can I help?” 

Her question caught me completely off-guard. Was she serious? Her offer sounded legit. “Er … if you want to …” I said, warily, unable to hide my bewilderment. I shrugged and went to search the cupboards for a bowl, placing it and a cutting board on the counter. “Thanks for the offer, Rosalie.”

“Don’t mention it. And please, call me Rose.” She said, smiling warmly. She picked up a tomato, experimentally inhaling its essence. From the looks of it she did like the aroma. “I used to love these.” She said wistfully, before putting it on the board. “I may not have any cooking skills … but I think I can manage to cut the ingredients.”

“I have the utmost confidence in you.” I said, handing her a knife. She snorted, but didn’t comment. Instead she immediately got to work, starting to cut the vegetables into perfect bite-sized pieces. I filled a pot with water for the pasta, placing it on the heating plate, but I didn’t turn on the oven. I would wait for that until my father was home. “You should have seen the chaos Jasper had created this morning, trying to make me breakfast. It was hilarious.” I giggled, remembering the forlorn, defeated expression on Jasper’s face at the time of my arrival in the kitchen. He had looked so adorable in his frustration. God, I missed him.

“I bet it was.” Rose said, smirking. She was almost finished with her task. For some unknown reason she was taking her time, working at a human pace. Maybe she did it for my sake, trying to make me feel better, less inferior. Suddenly she stopped, glancing at me with a suspicious look on her perfect face. “And you were probably glad to discover that we aren’t good at everything, am I right?”

‘Damn … busted … and by the ice-queen of all people …’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Rose POV

 

I gave Bella a meaningful look, daring her to contradict me. Her cheeks flushed in typical Bella-fashion. Just then I realized how much I’ve missed it, missed her. How odd.

Bella averted her eyes in what I interpreted as embarrassment. I could practically hear her mind working. Was she actually considering lying to me, especially now that we were making some progress? She must know that I would be able to see right through it, not only because she truly sucked at lying, but mainly because I knew I was right with my assessment.

At last, I got my answer, but only in nonverbal form. Bella simply nodded her head once, just confirming what I already knew. But why did she feel ashamed?

“No reason to feel bad, Bella. It’s a completely understandable reaction on your part.” I hurried to appease her, waving my hand casually. “Nobody will hold it against you for feeling this way. It’s only natural … and probably a good thing too. Sometimes the guys feel way too smug about our so-called superiority. From time to time they need to be put in their places.” I said, winking at Bella. It had the desired effect. She relaxed, giggling lightly. Then she carried on with her preparations. I wrinkled my nose when she opened a can with some red substance, emptying it into a small pan. I figured it was some sort of sauce for the pasta. Going by its smell, I couldn’t imagine that it actually tasted good. Thankfully she covered the pan with a lid, keeping the horrific stench slightly contained.

I diverted my attention back to my assigned task, cutting the last two tomatoes. I sort of liked it. And as long as I only had to deal with raw ingredients, I could manage to work with human food without making a fool out of myself, by gagging or something along that line.

It was probably for the best that I was doing this part anyway, considering the sharp object. The Bella I knew was very prone to accidents and cutting herself – again – in the presence of a vampire was certainly not in her best interest. Though, I had to admit, she seemed to be more confident, in more ways than one. So far, she hadn’t tripped, not even once. And she definitely seemed to have grown up emotionally. Gone was the insecure, little girl who used to follow Edward like a lost puppy. The new Bella was certainly someone according to my taste, figuratively speaking.

“Anyhow … the thing is none of us know how to cook … well apart from Esme, of course. You probably don’t know this, but she was the only one of us who had to provide for a family while she was still human. That’s why she is the only one who knows how to cook. Different times, different values. Men in my days barely knew how to boil water.” I chuckled, but sobering quickly. “And as for me … well I’ve never been taught how to make dinner.”

“Why not?” She asked, sounding intrigued, not nosy.

“What exactly has Edward told you about me?” I answered her question with one of my own. I knew it was very rude, but I needed to know what she did know about me already, before I would start to fill her in on my history. I emptied the rest of the cut vegetables into the bowl, pushing it towards Bella.

“Not much.” She said, reaching for a bottle of oil. She uncapped it and added some it to the salad, along with some spices and salt, using a large spoon to mix everything. “He didn’t seem comfortable talking about any of you behind your back. He only indicated that you’ve been through something similar like me … you know the incident with the guys in Port Angeles.” I cringed, but it escaped her notice. Bella had no idea how close she was to the truth. But unlike her, no one came to my rescue. “Apart from Carlisle’s past, pretty much everything I know about you guys I’ve learned from the person in question. And since you and I never had the chance to get to know each other …” She trailed off, biting her lip worriedly. I knew she wasn’t blaming me, just stating a fact. But she did have a point. Maybe things between us could have been different then, if it hadn’t been for my tenacity to push her away. And I’d clearly underestimated Edward’s sense for integrity. I’ve always thought he would use his gift to his advantage, betraying our secrets, just to suit his purpose. Apparently I was wrong about that, too.

“I really blew it there, didn’t I?” I said, laughing awkwardly. Bella smiled softly, shrugging her shoulders. Was this her way of saying ‘maybe’? I really hoped it wasn’t too late to rectify things between her and me, telling her as much.

“I believe it’s never too late.” She stated. There was no trace of deceit in her voice. She really meant it. “I’ve always wanted to get to know you … every one of you. I just didn’t get the chance before. Maybe in time … we can be friends.”

“I would like that very much.” I said, softly, adding attentively, “… and so would Emmett.”

Bella froze for a moment, but recovered quickly. “I need more time.” She insisted, her voice slightly unsteady.

“I understand … and so does he. Just give him a chance, please.” I begged. “He truly missed you.”

“I missed him, too.” She admitted, placing the bowl with the salad on the table. I helped her setting up the table. I even added a plate for myself, not really looking forward to actually consuming any of the food. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to.

I sat down, asking her to join me. Since there wasn’t anything else she needed to prepare, she complied, rather eagerly. I was just about to start telling her about my past, when her home line rang. With a small noise of protest, she stood up and went to answer it. Thanks to my superior senses I was able to hear both sides of the conversation.

“Bells, it’s me.” Her father said.

“Hi Dad. Will you be home soon?” She asked.

“That’s why I’m calling.” He grumbled, obviously annoyed. “I’m sorry, honey, but I won’t be home for at least another hour. I’ve just got a call from the hospital. Apparently someone broke in, and stole some stuff. I need to go there and check it out, since Henry has … once again … managed to be late for his shift. So, don’t wait up for me with dinner.”

“That’s unfortunate.” Bella sighed. I knew she didn’t mean that, at least not completely, because I could detect a hint of relief in her voice. I was sure it had something to do with me, though I didn’t blame her. Explaining my presence to the Chief was going to be tricky, at best. “I leave something for you in the fridge, to reheat in microwave, okay?”

“Thanks. You are an angel. What would I do without you?”

“Probably starve to death.” Bella teased, giggling.

“Har, har, very funny.” He complained, but laughing himself. Their little banter made me smile as well. It was quite obvious how close they were. I felt a twinge of jealousy, because she had something I’ve been missing my entire human life … a true, loving relationship with my parents. “Well, I have to go. I’ll see you later.” He said his goodbyes.

“Bye, Dad.” She replied, and then the line disconnected. After she hung up the phone, she turned around, smirking at me. “Well, at least you won’t have to pretend to eat.”

“There is that.” I allowed, chuckling, though I was far happier about the fact that I had some more time with her alone.

Bella turned on oven, in order to heat up the sauce and the water. Then she sat down again, loading her plate with a small portion of the salad. “Sure, you don’t want anything?” She asked, with a mischievous smile on her face.

I rolled my eyes. “Just eat.”

She sniggered, but followed my advice without any delay. It had been clear that she was hungry, since her stomach had been growling for quite a while. I leaned back in my seat, watching her enjoy her first course, something she didn’t seem to like very much.

So, I decided that now was probably the best time to continue our conversation. It would give me something to do, and with her busy eating, she would be a very good listener. But unfortunately, before I even got the chance to formulate my first sentence, my nose was assaulted by a strange, yet familiar stench. I knew right away it had nothing to do with Bella’s cooking.

My head snapped up, and my whole body went rigid, a reaction that didn’t go unnoticed by Bella.

“What’s wrong?” Bella asked, dropping her fork.

“I’m not quite sure yet, but we are going to have company.” I informed her, unable to mask my own anxiety, visibly or verbally. I got on my feet, moving towards the front door. I could hear her turning of the oven (clever girl), before she joined me in the hall.

“Who is it?” She whispered.

I didn’t get the chance to give her an answer. An unfamiliar, not quite pleasant voice beat me to the punch. “Bella, I know you are in there … and I know you’re not alone.” 

“Jacob?”

 

\+ + + + +

 

Unknown POV

 

He was hunting again, moving gracefully through the woods. Sometimes I had a little trouble following him, because he was really, really fast. But fortunately I was always able to catch up with him in the end. And if I didn’t, I would simply go back to his cabin, waiting for his return.

I’ve been watching him for days, always keeping my distance, mostly hiding in the trees, out of sight.

Of course, I knew right away what he was. He wasn’t the first vampire I’ve come across in my long life, and he probably won’t be the last one. But he was by far the most interesting, not to mention the most attractive. His hair had the strangest color I’ve ever seen. Auburn. And it was in constant disarray. But I liked it, yearning to run my fingers through it, wanting to feel its texture. He was tall and lean, but well-built nonetheless … at least from what I could tell. So far I haven’t seen him without clothes. But I was sure I wouldn’t be disappointed.

Simply put … his beauty took my breath away.

Of course, that fact didn’t come as a surprise to me. His kind was known for being unusually, inhumanly attractive … among other things. And I also knew that they used it to lure their human prey. Good thing I didn’t fall into that category … at least not completely.

I probably should have left these woods the moment he showed up, especially since it seemed he was planning to stay for a while. His kind and mine didn’t tend to get along very well … or at all.

But I didn’t want to leave. I liked it these woods. And I was here first.

According to my family I’ve always been too stubborn and too curious for my own good. Those character traits were my greatest weaknesses, and in conjunction with my unwillingness to submit to rules that made no sense to me, the reason why I’ve been by myself for all these years.

Instead of staying away or better yet attack them on sight, I’ve always felt compelled to get to know these creatures. Sadly, my first face-to-face encounter didn’t end well … for the vampire in question …

 

\+ + Flashback + +

 

It was during one of my long, solitary strolls through the forest of my mother country when I came across a female. I wasn’t supposed to leave the confines of our settlement, but of course I didn’t listen.

As soon as I spied her, my instincts kicked in, automatically. It was probably a good thing though, considering my recklessness. But luckily, my senses told me that she was the only vampire in the near vicinity.

She was smaller than me, and blond, wearing clothes that definitely had seen better days. Her eyes were bright red, a sign that she had fed quite recently. Oddly, I didn’t feel bad about that, even though I knew that a human had given his life to preserve hers. But they had to eat something, didn’t they?

All I felt was relief, because a hungry vampire might have attacked me on sight. But as it was, she didn’t show any sign of animosity. In fact, it was obvious that she was just as startled as I was. For a few moments we appraised each other in silence. Taking her size into account, I was pretty sure I could take her … but that would always be my last resort.

I detested any kind of violence. True, I did understand the reason for self-preservation. But in my opinion we had no right to hunt them down and kill them, just because they might pose a threat.

Live and let live … that has always been my motto. I would only fight to defend myself. As long as she didn’t give me a reason to attack, I wouldn’t.

But even though I was sure that she didn’t mean my any harm, I kept my distance. After all, I wasn’t an idiot. I’ve heard the stories … countless times. I knew what this creature was capable of.

‘Better safe than sorry …’

She seemed to be just as cautious, not making a move either. We both were slightly unsure what to make of the other, but at the same time I was certain she was just as intrigued and curious as I was.

With a shy, but genuine smile on my face I sat down on the forest floor. She seemed to understand my friendly gesture for what it was, an invitation, and copied my action, slowly, warily, her eyes never leaving mine.

And then we started talking. To my surprise, she was very forthcoming, quite the chatty person. Her name was Thira. I learned that she was relatively young, only a decade old. She had been sixteen when she was changed, only a year older than me. Her sire hadn’t treated her very nicely, but eventually she had been able to escape him. She had been on her own for almost three years, simply wandering around, not looking for anything in particular. She simply enjoyed living her life from one day to the other.

I felt bad for the little vampire. It was clear that she hadn’t chosen this life. It had been forced upon her. But she was trying to make the best of it … in her own way. At the very least she seemed to be happy to be free to go wherever she wanted. And for that, I envied her.

I was just about to tell her about myself, to show her what I was, when all of the sudden my brothers showed up, all five of them.

And just like that all hell broke loose.

Everything happened so fast. Manuel restrained me at once, thus preventing me from interfering. In hindsight, it was probably for the best. Rationally, I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to take them on and protect her, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t have tried … only to end up hurt or even worse, getting myself killed in the process.

But before I was able to explain or do anything, the other three attacked my potential new friend, shredding her to pieces in mere seconds. She didn’t stand the slightest chance. It was three against one, plus the one, holding me and the one setting up a pyre.

The ripping sounds were awful, like nails on a chalkboard awful. Her screams were so loud, and heart-rending. I started to cry, begging them to stop before it was too late, but my brothers wouldn’t listen.

For one last time I met Thira’s eyes. They were wide open, full of fear and pain. But what really got to me was the glimpse of betrayal I could detect in them. Oh my god, she was dying with the thought that I’d set her up. I stopped struggling, and collapsed. My brother went down with me, still keeping his arms around me … just in case.

“I’m sorry.” I mouthed, and then her head landed in the fire, along with the rest of her other severed body parts.

And then it was over. All that was left of the nice, innocent girl was a pile of ashes. The sweet stench of her remains was polluting the air, almost making me retch.

The sudden stillness was unnerving. Manuel finally let me go, and I crumbled, starting to cry in earnest.

“Why? Why?” I moaned between sobs.

“You know why!” My oldest brother Juan, suddenly back in his human form, snapped at me.

“She … she didn’t … she wasn’t going to hurt me.” I managed to get out between my sobs. “She was harmless.”

“You can’t be serious.” He scoffed. “You know that these leeches live for one thing, and one thing only … blood. Be glad that you don’t smell like food to them, otherwise you would be dead by now.” He came over, hauling me to my feet, with more force than necessary. He was angry, and disappointed. “Let’s get out of here. This area isn’t safe. Who knows how many more are out there.”

“Thira was alone.” I sniffed.

Juan tightened his grip on my arm, but I didn’t flinch. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction in showing him, how much his rough treatment hurt me, physically and emotionally. “The council will be very interested in this. Making friends with the enemy … that’s a new one. What were you thinking?”

I didn’t even consider giving him an answer to that question. He wouldn’t understand my reasoning, none of them would. I let them lead me back to the camp. Why put off the inevitable any longer than necessary? I did my best to mentally prepare myself for what awaiting me. I knew that the council would be less than happy with me and my actions.

 

\+ + End of Flashback + +

 

‘Unhappy’ was putting it mildly. They had been furious. I’d never them so agitated before. Sure I’d expected as much, but yet I had been shocked to the core when I received their final verdict a day later.

I was ostracized by my own people, asked to never return, ever. In their eyes, by fraternizing with the enemy, I’d committed treason, an unforgivable offense in our society. And since I’d shown no regret for my actions, none whatsoever, they saw themselves forced to hand out the maximum penalty – aside from death.

I’d accepted my punishment without a fight. Sure, I was upset, sad at heart to leave my people. After all, it was my home, my family, everything I knew. But it was quite obvious that I wasn’t welcomed any longer. So I left.

Throughout the years I mostly kept to myself, barely making any direct contact with anyone, human or otherwise.

But I spent a couple of years with a nice, elderly lady named Anna, who had been living alone since her husband passed away. She owned a small ranch in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in New Mexico. She caught me stealing some of her food, but instead of chasing me off, she took me in. And I gladly accepted her offer. I stayed with her until the day she had no other choice but to sell her property. I helped her with the chores, and in return she taught me how to read and write. I liked her very much, but I never felt comfortable enough to reveal my true nature to her. But more importantly, I didn’t want to scare her. Fortunately, she wasn’t a very nosy person, not asking many questions, so I’d never felt the need to lie to her. We parted ways as friends.

That has been ages ago. Since then I’ve been alone, staying away from populated areas. I actually spent more time in my second skin than as a human. It was safer, and more prudent, since I had no money to purchase food or clothing. And to be honest I preferred living like that.

I knew it was just a matter of time, before I would run into a vampire again. The ones I’ve met so far were all nomads like me. But I haven’t tried to make contact with any of them, because it was quite obvious that they were the complete opposite of Thira. In fact, I had to kill two, in order to stay alive, the most recent a year ago. But even though I had no other choice, I didn’t feel really bad about it. They were evil and nasty, and deserved to die.

But not this one.

He was something else entirely … an anomaly among his kind. I almost fell off my tree the first time I saw him hunting. Without much effort he took down a deer, only to lean in and quench his thirst on it. Suffice it to say, I was completely astonished.

He didn’t hunt humans, but game.

What was wrong with him? Why would he do that? Were there others that shared his choice of diet? I had so many questions.

And that … apart from my undeniable attraction towards the bronze haired beauty … was the reason why I stayed, barely leaving him out of my sight. By now I was sure he knew that he was being followed. He kept looking over his shoulder, frequently scanning his surroundings and sniffing the air. Thankfully, he couldn’t distinguish my smell from the animal life around us. And for good reason, I’ve spent most of my life in animal form.

I wondered what he was doing out here. From the looks of his clothes he was used to a completely different life style. Somehow, I got the impression that he was on the run, hiding from something … or someone. But from what, who and why – I had no idea.

More than once I found him sitting on a rock at the sore of the lake near his cabin, reading or busy writing in his journal. He looked so lost, and very sad. I longed to comfort him. But I wasn’t quite ready yet, to approach him. I wanted to know more before I would reveal myself.

I’ve never dared to enter the cabin before today, but I figured the only way I could get any information without actually talking to him, was by reading his journal. I knew it wasn’t right, but my curiosity got the better of me.

So, as soon as I was sure he was otherwise engaged, I rushed back to his cabin. The door was still open. Only when I was inside I changed back into my human form. I was going to need opposable thumps, to turn the pages. I slipped into a simple white dress, the only clothe I possessed and always had with me. Then I went to search for his journal. I didn’t have to look long. It lay on the small table, which besides a chair was the only intact furniture in this room. I grabbed it and sat down on the floor. I opened the journal, glad to discover he was speaking the same language as me. For a moment I marveled over his neat, elegant penmanship, before I started reading.

Before long I was engrossed in his journal, so much that I completely forgot the time and where I was. That’s why his sudden appearance at the door took me totally off-guard.

“Who are you?”


	29. Pouring oil on troubled waters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY. A new chapter is up. I’m incredibly sorry for the extreme long delay.
> 
> It’s not a very long chapter. We are just continuing where we left of in the last one, with Edward and his new friend, and Jasper and the wolves.
> 
> My writing style might have changed a bit, but I hope not too much to spoil the rhythm.
> 
> Enjoy.

Edward POV

 

This was great.

Being outdoors, running through the woods, free off responsibilities and anything, or anyone, to worry about.

I wasn’t hunting. Still, the animals seemed to sense the danger I represented and stayed out of my way. After all, I was the apex predator out here.

Well, actually I was that anywhere, but I didn’t hunt for fun. I never did.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. There was this dark period in my life in the late nineteen twenties, when I hunted, not indiscriminately, but excessively. And maybe my victims had deserved to be punished – especially Charles Evenson – but that didn’t mean I was in the right to play judge, jury and executioner.

To some extent I’ve come to terms with the things I did back then. Thanks to the unwavering support of my family, Carlisle’s in particular. But that didn’t change the fact that the last thoughts, the pleas for mercy of each and every one of my victims were still hunting me to this day.

Being a vampire meant being a predator. But it didn’t mean we had to kill, not unless it was really necessary. Hunting for sustenance, whether it was human or animal blood, was essential for my kind. But not hunting for pleasure.

Out here in the wild finding food was easy. But the freedom to hunt, whenever, wherever, had soon lost its erstwhile appeal. I didn’t have to hunt quite as often as I used to. Not being around humans probably had something to do with it. Well, it did, without a doubt. And the distance from a certain human, whose blood has been like a forbidden drug for me.

Always within reach, becoming more and more appealing with passing each day, but a complete taboo.

Leaving Bella was hard. But it was the right decision. She was safer without anyone of us around.

Staying away from my family was hard, too. But manageable. I knew I would see them again, sooner or later. After all, time had no meaning for us vampires. We had forever. So, why not remain here, in the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains, for the next ten years or so? I probably wouldn’t have that much time, knowing Alice and her gift. She would know where to find me. And sooner or later she would reveal my location to Carlisle and Esme. Not that I could blame her, or my surrogate parents. They were only concerned about my wellbeing. Maybe I should venture into the next city, look for an internet café and shoot them an email. Just to tell them not to worry.

Anyway, I took my time, making my way back to the cabin in a human pace.

I could tell something was off a hundred yards away from the cabin. Did I leave the door open, when I left? I wasn’t sure. It could have opened by itself. The cabin wasn’t exactly in great shape. The hinges of all windows and doors were rusty, barely working. Sure, made some repairs, but not much in that area.

The closer I came the more sure I was that something was indeed not quite right. It was more a hunch, an instinct, nothing conclusive.

I could hear a heartbeat, too fast for a human. There could be an animal inside. But knowing my scent probably warned off all animals in the near vicinity, I doubt something had sought shelter in the cabin. And since there wasn’t any food stored inside, I couldn’t imagine what exactly was in there that could attract attention of an animal.

I stepped over the threshold without making a sound.

There on the floor, next to the table and the only intact chair, sat a young woman, with her back to me, her legs folded at her side. Long, black hair cascaded down her back. Her feet were bare. As far as I could tell the only clothe she was wearing was that white dress. Well, semi-white. It certainly had seen better days. It was mostly clean, as far as I could tell from this angle, but clearly worn quite often.

Alice would be appalled by that. Bella, on the other hand, would probably appreciate the simple look.

The girl didn’t show any sign that she was aware of my presence. She was too engrossed reading … was that my journal? I didn’t know if I should be flattered or enraged. Who in their right mind, and even a smidgen of decency, would read something so private?

On the other hand, I was hardly one to judge. Being a mind reader and all.

Speaking of which.

Normally, I didn’t have to focus my gift. Thoughts usually simply penetrated my mental barriers, even those I didn’t want to hear. In time I learned to block out the ‘general chatter’. Only the loudest voices were very hard to ignore. Like Jessica Stanley’s, for example. Or Emmett’s, on occasion. Although, only my brother did it on purpose, to spite me, knowing exactly how his actions were affecting me.

Since the girl was breathing, she was definitely alive and not a vampire. Not to mention that she gave off quite the heat.

Literally speaking.

Not that she wasn’t attractive. She was, even from this angle. Her bare calves were nicely shaped, strong and muscular. Clearly, she did a lot of running. Bare foot, apparently, since she wasn’t wearing any shoes. Her feet were dirty, naturally, but only the sole. And she had the cutest toes …

But back to the point.

I couldn’t pick up any stray thoughts from her. It wasn’t the same thing I’d experienced with Bella. There was no dead silence, just some kind of static noise. I concentrated harder, dug deeper, but it felt like moving through quicksand. There was something there but I couldn’t get a clear read on it. She wasn’t exactly immune to my gift, I could tell. It was more like her brain ran on a different frequency than mine. And I simply didn’t know how to tune in.

The girl was without a doubt a mystery.

She had no scent, either. At least nothing I could decipher completely. Primarily she smelled like nature. And tears. Had she been crying? Why?

“Who are you?”

The question was out before I’ve made a conscious choice to actually voice it. But it had the desired effect.

Well, more or less.

The strange girl dropped my journal and wheeled around, staring at me with her big, dark eyes. I didn’t need Jasper’s gift to tell that she was shocked to see me. And she looked nervous, scared even, never leaving her crouched position. The way she was shaking, with her whole body, she was almost vibrating with fear.

The next things happened so quickly, I surely would have missed half of it if I hadn’t been blessed with extraordinary sight.

Her whole body was sprouting black fur as she grew a few inches, causing the dress to burst at the seams. It fell to the floor in tatters. Claws replaced her neatly trimmed fingernails. Her eyes became narrower, her pupils turning into slits. Then she dropped to all fours, whipping her long, newly formed tail back and forth.

I was stunned speechless.

Just a few moments earlier she was a girl, and now there was a big, black cat standing before me.

Of course, I knew exactly what I was dealing with. The girl was a shape shifter and her animal form was a mountain lion. 

The irony of the situation did not escape me. I was just glad Emmett wasn’t here. He would have teased me about it. Incessantly.

Coming across a mountain lion was rare. There were reclusive and mostly avoided people. And ‘people’ like me, even more so. Coming across shape shifters was even rarer. As our (only) natural enemies, they tended to avoid us at all cost. They rarely ever left their land, doing everything to protect it and its people.

What were the odds running into both at once?

Slim to none.

I’ve been looking for my favorite food for weeks and didn’t get lucky. And apart from Forks I’ve never seen or heard about other tribes like the Quileute people.

But here I was, standing in a rundown cabin, deep in the woods of the Rocky Mountains, far away from any civilization, right across from the one thing I was looking for.

Well, not really. Despite the fact that she looked like a mountain lion, she didn’t smell anything like it. And even if she did, I wasn’t the least bit tempted.

Not in the quenching-my-thirst kind of way.

I didn’t make any sudden movements, only holding up my hands in a placating manner. “I don’t mean you any harm.”

She ignored me, her eyes never stopping to scan the room, clearly looking for a quick and easy exit. She could have jumped through a window, true, but probably not without hurting herself. I couldn’t have that.

Slowly, I took a few steps aside, leaving the doorway wide and open. She didn’t wait for a verbal invitation. With a grace that rivaled my own she jumped passed me and was out the door in no time. I watched her disappear into woods.

“Well, damn. So much for making nice with the neighbors…” I muttered under my nonexistent breath, laughing quietly. “Just my luck!”

 

\+ + +

 

Three days went by without the slightest sign or trace of my unexpected visitor.

Not that I went looking for her.

Going by her strong reaction, she was probably hiding somewhere far away and hard to find. But deep down I knew she was going to return eventually. Someone, who apparently had been watching me for days, learning my habits, deciding to go into my makeshift home when she was sure I wasn’t there, only to read my journal … well someone like that wasn’t that easily discouraged. Clearly, she was just as curious as me.

Which wasn’t not necessarily a good thing. After all, what’s the saying? ‘Curiosity killed the cat.’

Pun intended. Figuratively speaking.

But then again, there was also the well-known rejoinder. ‘But satisfaction brought it back.’

So there was a good chance she would make an appearance, sooner or later.

Instead of hanging around and waiting for her return, I took the opportunity to go into the next town and do some shopping. And not just for me.

Something told me that the dress she had been wearing was one of her few belongings, maybe even her only piece of clothing. And she’d destroyed it because of me and my lack of tact. The least thing I could do was getting her a replacement. Before throwing away the shredded dress, I quickly checked the size. Alice probably wouldn’t have to, due to her shopping obsession, but I had to.

I went to Morinville, a small town north of Edmonton. The smaller the city the less attention I was going draw. The sky was overcast, similar like the weather in Forks. No wonder since my old home wasn’t that far away from here.

I didn’t choose this area because of its proximity to Bella. Well, at least not first and foremost. I could have easily gone to South America or Europe, sure, but I didn’t want to. I just needed some alone time but that didn’t mean I had to put a continent or ocean between me and the people I cared about.

And that included Bella. I was planning to check up on her. Soon. Leaving her behind in the woods, alone and upset, was anything but chivalrous. But I still believed I did the right thing by dumping her. Maybe not in the way I did. Telling her in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t interested in her (which was neither the truth nor a lie) probably broke her heart. But at the time it seemed like the only choice I had. And maybe it would take her a while to get over it, but she was strong. She would find someone else, someone who was more suitable than me. Someone who really deserved her love and could give her everything I couldn’t …

Anyway, after doing my shopping – picking out a new dress for my stalker, a new pair of shoes for me, and some other knickknacks – I went to find a place where I could check my emails. Since it was the middle of the day, and midweek, the small coffee shop/internet cafe near the high school campus was pretty much empty. I ordered a coffee, just for appearances’ sake, and went straight for the free computer near the back entrance.

Of course, I drew some attention to myself – first in the department store and now here. Two girls, both around the same age as Bella, were sitting a few tables away from me, constantly throwing glances my way. But I ignored them, their whispered conversation and their explicit thoughts. The braver one of them, a blond who strongly reminded me of Jessica Stanley, was just about to come over and introduce herself, when I sent my last email and logged off. I quickly stood up and left, through the back door, laughing at her, cursing herself about being too slow.

I left the town shortly after and made my way back into the wilderness.

I didn’t go straight ‘home’, though, but taking a slight detour. After looking around for some time, I found the perfect spot in a clearing a few hundred yards away from the cabin. There on the big bolder I left the dress wrapped in a box, along with a chocolate bar and a short note. I didn’t know if she even liked chocolate or not, but I thought it was a nice gesture. I made sure my scent was all over the place and my gifts. I certainly didn’t want some animal to come anywhere near it. Hopefully, she would find it before the next rain.

I spent the next two days, sitting outside the cabin, carving chess pieces. Sure, I could have just bought a game but this was a good exercise and a nice diversion. Otherwise I would have gone and tried to find her.

Thankfully, on the third day, she finally came back.

It was funny and strange, the way my stomach flipped. I barely knew anything about the girl, and here I was, acting all smitten. Sure, I’d felt similar about Bella, but this was different … more intense. And I had no idea why or how it was possible.

The girl moved with caution, clearly still feeling a bit unsure, stopping a few yards away. Unlike last time her hair was braided. It suited her, though. And she wore the dress I left for her. It was white, similar to the one she had before, hugging her body in all the right places. I knew I was openly staring at her, but I simply couldn’t help myself. She looked stunning, even though the dress was pretty plain. At least compared to some of the dresses Alice owned.

“Hi.” I called out, putting down the knife. That gesture seemed to relax her further. Which was hilarious. My teeth were much more lethal than a simple carving knife.

She only smiled in return to my greeting.

“What’s your name?”

“Sofía.” Even though she didn’t say much more, I could tell she had an accent. Not a very strong one, probably South American in origin.

“Well, I’m Edward. But you already know that from the note.” I replied, gesturing her to come and sit with me. “I understand if you don’t trust me. But don’t you think it would be easier to talk sitting together, instead off yelling at each other from afar? Not that we need to since we both have excellent hearing …”

“Okay,” She agreed, smiling some more. She was probably amused by my babbling. I, on the other hand, was a bit embarrassed. Usually, I was far more sophisticated and smooth. Sofía slowly walked over and sat down across from me, her legs folded at her side. Apparently, she liked this position. “Thank you for the dress. I love it.”

“You’re welcome. But you don’t need to thank me. After all, it was my fault yours was destroyed.”

“No,” She disagreed, shaking her head. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have come here, snooping around. I’m just so …”

“… curious.” I finished, grinning.

“Yes.” She nodded, blushing slightly.

“Well, me too.” I admitted. And if I were able to I would have blushed too. “I’ve met shifters before, once, but they were different. Secretive, territorial, volatile, act first, ask questions … well never. But you are the complete opposite.” 

“I know. I’m a freak among my kind.” Sofía huffed out a laugh. Cleary, she wasn’t happy about that fact.

“Well, so am I.” I remarked, hoping it would make her feel better.

“So, I’ve noticed. Unlike the rest of your kind you hunt animals. Is that why your eyes are gold?”

“Yes. Animal blood turns the color of our eyes. My family and I are exclusively feeding of animals.” I declared, probably feeling proud about that fact for the very first time. Strange.

“Your family? Are they here too?” She inquired, suddenly anxious. I could understand her reaction. Being confronted by one vampire was one thing. But having to deal with an entire coven, well, that was another thing altogether. She wouldn’t stand a chance, if we would pose a threat. Which we didn’t. Or at least I didn’t.

“No, they are not here.” I hurried to assure her. “I’m here alone, on … vacation.”

“Me too. Not the vacation part. But I’m alone too.” Sofía confessed. I wasn’t sure if she simply trusted me. By telling me that she was on her own, without back-up, she was putting herself in danger. Knowingly. But maybe she was just testing me. My gift still wasn’t working. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, just an inconvenience.

“Like two peas in a pod.” I mumbled, smiling to myself.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Previously …

“We just came here to talk.” He announced, tersely. His voice was deep, and the implication behind his words was plain obvious. He didn’t want to be here anymore than Emmett and I.

 

Jasper POV

 

“Very well. Let's talk.” I replied, mirroring the boy’s brusque tone of voice.

Sure, I could have toned it down some. But what would be the point? I certainly didn't want them to think I was in any way intimidated. Which I wasn't. And neither was Emmett. If anything he was intrigued, seeing them as nothing but a challenge, or entertainment.

And he was right. Sure, it was three against two. But they posed no threat to us. None whatsoever. There could have been more, and the fact would still remain the same. With my gift and Em's strength, they didn't stand a chance. They would be the ones ending up dead, not us.

I grinned at that thought, which, unsurprisingly, earned me a growl from the grey wolf shadowing his human companion. It sounded menacing, but I wasn't impressed. He was just a pup, probably not much older than his dark haired, half-naked friend, who clearly was their leader. He practically exuded strength and authority. And to a human he was intimidating – tall, muscled and with that fierce facial expression – but not to a vampire like me.

It was obvious that all of them were very young. Young and inexperienced, first and foremost driven by their instincts, telling them to attack, rip and kill. Similar as it was with young vampires. The only difference was newborn vampires did it for sustenance, sometimes for show or entertainment. These wolves had a completely different agenda. Okay, maybe there was some fun involved, certainly some sense of accomplishment, but their main reason for being was to protect the humans.

But even though he was not much older than his pack members, the Alpha clearly possessed more self-control than his pack mates. Sure, I could tell that he was uncomfortable. That was kinda obvious by the strained expression on his face, which most certainly had a lot to do with our scent. But I had to give it to him. He tried his best not to show how much our (supposed) stench truly bothered him. Unlike us the poor guy had no choice but to take in air.

The Alpha took a measured step towards us, ignoring the warning growl coming from behind him. The grey wolf clearly wasn’t as confident as his leader.

“My name is Sam Uley. I'm the Alpha of the pack.” His voice was deep, and he sounded very calm and collected. It was truly impressive how well he was able to mask his own anxiousness.

“I’m Jasper. And this is Emmett. But I think you know who we are.” I replied casually.

“Of course. You are the Cullens.” He stated matter-of-factly. Like our identities was common knowledge. Which it probably was among their tribe … and the entire town of Forks.

“Well, you are partly right on that. He is,” I said, jerking my head towards Emmett, “but I’m not. In fact, I never was a Cullen. I used to share the last name of his mate, but not anymore. A few days ago I retook my birth name.”

“Which is?”

“Whitlock.” I announced very proudly. The name didn’t ring a bell with the Alpha, or the other pups. Which didn’t come as a surprise. They might know about vampires in general, but I doubted they had any knowledge about our history. But as interesting as the change of my last name was, I could tell that the Alpha’s cool composure was starting to slip. “But I doubt you are here to talk about that.”

“No, we are not. We are here to assess the new situation, and if necessary to remind you of the terms of our treaty.” He declared, making himself very clear. He wasn’t here for negotiation, but to issue a warning. Even the slightest violation and the treaty would be null and void.

“I see.” I remarked evenly, even though I felt insulted. Why did they think we would need a reminder? “As you can tell from our eye color we still keeping up with our diet. We hunt animals, not humans.”

“You don’t.” The Alpha allowed, adding with a growl, “But there are others in the area.”

‘Ah, now we are getting somewhere.’

“Let me guess, you are talking about a tall guy with brown hair and a medium-size blonde?” I surmised.

“Yes. You know them?”

“Yes. They are family.”

“But they hunt humans.” The Alpha commented. He and his pups felt the same way about that fact – confused and utterly appalled. Not to mention very angry. I dialed up the dose of calm I’ve been projecting since the moment they came out of the woods. But just by a fraction. Overdoing it might have the opposite effect. So far, they were ‘allowing’ me to use my gift. Not that they had much of a choice in the matter, but still. This was a precarious situation. One false step and all hell could break loose.

“That’s true.” I conceded. Why lie, when they already seem to know that Peter and Char were in town? Better to put everything on the table and go from there. “They do hunt humans, but not in this area. I give you my word.”

I was empathic about that, in more ways than one. I sent the Alpha a strong wave of sincerity, and added as an afterthought, “And if it’s any consolation they only hunt certain people.”

“It’s not.” Sam remarked, dryly. “But as long as they stay off our land, and don’t break our treaty, we won’t act. But if they do, we don’t have another choice. We will have to take them out.”

“Good luck with that.” Emmett snorted, mirroring my thoughts exactly. But only he was dumb enough to voice them out loud.

Naturally, that remark wasn’t well received by the wolves. Quite the contrary. The grey wolf took a few steps closer, growling at Emmett. The other one held his position but joined in, snarling at me and Em. And of course, my brother took it as an invitation, also taking a step forward.

The only one still in control – besides me – was Sam. Sure, he felt insulted too. Which was understandable. After all, my brother just called them losers, blatantly indicating that they were incapable to take out two vampires. And even though I had no idea what they were capable of, and how many of them were out there, I did agree with him. But unlike Emmett, I knew when to keep my mouth shut.

Well, most of the time.

The air was practically sizzling with tension. I was just about to change my mind and intensify my calming influence, but I didn’t need to. One barked out demand to stay back and shut up, and the two wolves fell silent. I was impressed, and glad. Influencing them with my gift would have worked, too, of course. No doubt about that. But it might have sent the wolves over the edge, Sam included. Sure, I was using my gift, on all of them, but just to keep the situation under control. Not to control them.

Well, maybe to control Emmett.

But as often as it happened, I didn’t need to say anything to him. I just put out my arm and stopped his advance. Of course, he threw me a displeased look, but he immediately complied with my unspoken order.

“What my brother meant to say is that going up against them would be ill-advised.” I said, rolling up my sleeves, showing off my bare skin. The Alpha’s eyes widened. The grey wolf fell completely silent, and the brown one took a step back and let out a whine. I doubted that the wolves knew what exactly the countless teeth marks meant, but they seemed to understand the basic meaning behind them. To a human eye they were barely visible, but not to a supernatural being. And they screamed loud and clearly. Beware.

“I trained both of them.” I clarified, unnecessarily. “They know how to fight multiple targets simultaneously and survive.”

“I understand.” Sam nodded, eying me carefully. I could sense some awe, and respect, even a little pity. “But you understand that we cannot idly sit by and watch. We are sworn to protect our people. It’s our duty. If it comes to it, we will fight to our deaths.”

It was a clear warning and a promise, but completely redundant.

“Fair enough.” I replied. “But you have nothing to worry about. My brother and sister won’t be an issue.”

“Good.” Sam said. I could tell that he wasn’t fully convinced but somewhat appeased. Somewhat.

“But what about the other one?”

“What other one?” I inquired, even though I already had an inkling who he was talking about.

“The dark-skinned guy with dread locks.” Sam clarified, confirming my suspicion.

“His name is Laurent.” I provided.

“You know him too?” Sam sounded and looked even more irritated than he did already. And I couldn’t blame him. The Cullens and Whitlocks being in the area were one thing. And regardless whether the wolves believed me or not, we were no threat to them or the people of Forks. But Laurent was an element of uncertainty. For all of us.

“Well, kinda.” I admitted. “We had some trouble with him and two others last year.”

Emmett growled lowly. And he had every right to. ‘Trouble’ was putting it lightly. Laurent had been part of James’ coven. He might have had a change of heart, but only because he was smarter than the rest of his coven. It didn’t mean he could be trusted.

“So he isn’t a friend of yours?” The Alpha concluded.

“Fat chance.” Emmett huffed, radiating discontent.

“No, he is not.” I agreed with my brother. “We already know he is in the area. But we don’t know why.”

That fact didn’t sit well with me. Uncertainties never did. True, I wasn’t the Major anymore. But as they say, old habits die hard. Especially with vampires. We were territorial and very protective of the people we cared about. As long as there was a potential threat to my mate somewhere out there, I wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly. Figuratively speaking. There were so many unanswered questions. But Sam was waiting for me to continue, clearly sensing I had more information. And I didn’t want to screw up the rapport we’ve been able to establish so far.

“After splitting from his coven he joined another, up north, in Alaska. Luckily, one we know very well. They are allies, close friends actually, who also share our diet. He went there last spring. And as far as I know he is successfully adapting to our lifestyle. But nevertheless, his unannounced presence in this area does not sit well with us …”

‘Well, particularly with me.’ I added in my mind. I didn’t want to clue them in on my relationship with Bella. At least not yet anyway.

“So, if we are forced to take him out, you won’t retaliate?” Sam presumed. It was a challenge. Nothing more, nothing less. But a reasonable one.

“No, we won’t.” I reassured him, once again conveying my sincerity through my gift. Screw the repercussions. Lauren had no business in this area, and I had no affiliation with him. He had to know we were here. But instead of coming directly to us, he decided to play hide and seek. Therefore, as far as I was concerned, he was fair game. To the wolves and to me.

“I will take your word for it.” The Alpha concluded, apparently done talking. But I wasn’t.

“Were did you see him?” I demanded to know, hoping the Alpha was still in a sharing mood. Fortunately he was.

“Up north, near the ocean. He never crossed our borders. But he was close.”

“Interesting.” I mused out loud. Clearly, someone had filled him in on the situation. Laurent knew that La Push was protected by shape shifters. But who told him? Or did he just overhear Carlisle talking about it with Eleazar? Rose seemed to think he was happy in Denali, bonded to Irina. Unfortunately, she was the one sister I knew the least about. And not knowing things was never a good thing. Hopefully, Kate would call back later today and shed some light on the situation.

But right here and now I had to make a decision. One that wasn’t easy, but smart.

“Okay, here is the thing, Sam. I know you are not very fond of us. And I get it. We represent everything you hate and want to kill. We are a threat to you. In theory. But in the end we do have the same agenda. We only want to protect the people we care about.”

Emmett hummed in agreement. Sam, on the other hand, was eying me with renewed interest, probably wondering who I was talking about.

“You are proposing an alliance.” He assumed correctly.

“I do. And I know that working together will be tough, if not impossible. But for now, all I ask of you is that you let us know if you come across him again. We will do the same.” I vowed.

“That’s asking a lot.” Sam commented, dryly. He didn’t add anything else. Not that I expected him to give me a straight answer right away. At least he didn’t reject my proposal out of hand. For which I was grateful. He probably had to consult the Quileute council, before making a decision. But I could tell he was willing to consider helping us, clearly seeing the merit in my proposal. Working together might be unprecedented, but it would be smart.

“I know.” I replied. “Just think about it.”

“I will.”

Suddenly the wolves became very edgy. I could tell that it wasn’t related to the topic of conversation. Sure, they were less than happy about the fact that their leader was willing to think about my proposal. But this was different. Something else was going on.

The brown wolf looked at the grey one. Something more than exchanging growls and looks was happening between them, I could tell. Were they telepathic? Damn. For the first time ever, I wished Edward was here. His gift might be a nuisance most of the time, but right here and now, it would be a definite plus.

“What is it?” Sam addressed the grey wolf. Clearly, their telepathy was only working when they were in their shifted state.

It was evident that the grey wolf was fighting an inner battle. Clearly, he had something important to tell his Alpha, but he was reluctant to change back into his human form with us here. Which was understandable. As a wolf he had an advantage, but as a human he was completely vulnerable.

“Paul, shift back.” Sam instructed, leaving no room for discussion. The grey wolf complied at once. It was quite the sight, the way the air shimmered, and his body changed in size and body structure. Most of the hair, fur, simply disappeared into thin air, and within seconds a tall, naked boy was standing next to the Alpha. He didn’t bother putting on his pants which hang loosely from his right calf.

“It’s Jacob. He is with Bella. And he just … he just lost it.”

I saw red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger. Couldn’t be helped ;-) Reviews are appreciated.
> 
> Next up: Bella, Rose and Jacob.


	30. I’m with the vampires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter continues where we left off with Bella and Rosalie in chapter 28.

Bella POV

“Jacob?”

I was stunned.

What was he doing here? We haven’t seen each other in months. In fact, the last time we saw each other was last June, at the Prom. He came there primarily to delay a message from his father. Well, more like a warning, which I didn’t heed, of course.

After that last encounter we haven’t seen each other again. I spent the entire summer with the Cullens. True, I met up with Angela a couple of times, but other than that I barely left Edward’s side, something I started to truly regret now. And after the unfortunate fallout of my disastrous birthday party, I had no interest in keeping contact with the people I’ve been ignoring for so long. Instead I spent my time moaning my losses.

So why was Jacob suddenly standing in my yard, demanding my attention? I haven’t been a good friend. Far from it.

But then I remembered Sam’s words, something about Jake probably not taking the news well. That would explain why he knew I was in the house, even though my truck was missing, and that I wasn’t alone. He could smell me and Rose, because he was one of them. A werewolf.

“You know this dog?” Rosalie sneered.

I nodded, ignoring her blatant hostility. “Yes, he is a friend.”

When I reached for the door handle, she stopped me. Her hand was cold, her grip unyielding, yet careful.

“I don’t like this. He may be your friend, but he is also a werewolf.” Rose pointed out. “And the fact that you are hanging out with me might send the wrong message. Maybe we should call Jasper.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I can handle this on my own. Besides, I know he will not harm me.”

The blonde vampire didn’t budge, scrutinizing me from top to bottom. I didn’t know what exactly she was looking for. Maybe she was estimating the best way to snatch me up and make a run for it. Or maybe she was pondering how well I would do in a fight. Which was ludicrous, of course. I may have some experience going up against one crazed vampire. But even then I barely survived. What chance would I have against a werewolf? None whatsoever. And with my luck, I would end up getting caught between Rose and Jake.

Like I said – it was a ludicrous idea.

The most logical conclusion was that she was simply testing my resolve. Precisely why I held Rose’s gaze, showing her I wasn’t going to change my mind. And she seemed to realize that. With a huff she pulled her hand away.

“I hope you are right. It’s just my ass on the line here.” Rose grumbled.

I knew she wasn’t just talking about Jake. In fact, I was sure she was mainly concerned about Jasper. He’d entrusted her with my safety. If I got hurt, even by accident, he would go berserk. And knowing my mate he wouldn’t just use his words to express his anger.

“Don’t worry. Jacob won’t try anything. Not while I’m around.” I stated, firmly holding my ground. I wouldn’t be a worthy mate for the Major if I ran away from trouble, each and every time, right? Sure, if Jasper were here, he would beg to differ, telling me that I’m too fragile. In fact, I was sure he would try and forbid me to talk to Jacob. And he would fail.

I wasn’t just a stupid, fragile human. I was a fighter, a survivor. And I knew how to pick my battles. Even the ones with my mate …

Rose still wasn’t fully convinced, but apparently she willing to trust me and my judgment. And I was grateful for that. With a curt nod Rose stepped aside, allowing me to open the door.

 

\+ + +

 

Jacob stood a few feet away from the porch.

He was dressed in shorts, t-shirt and some worn-out running shoes. No socks. There was a slight chill in air, but it didn’t seem to bother him, at all. I was shocked to see that he’d cut his hair. Not that it didn’t suit him – it did – but still. It would take me some time to get used to his new look.

His whole new look.

There was no doubt about it. Jacob had gone through a significant change. For one, he’d grown a couple of inches. And furthermore he’d put on some weight, more precisely gaining quite a few muscles. To an outsider, it might look like he was on steroids, especially since the change had occurred within just a few weeks. But even though I didn’t have a lot of information on the matter, I figured the physical alteration had something to do with Jacob becoming a werewolf.

He certainly looked imposing now. It was easy to tell that he could be formidable opponent to anyone, even to a vampire. Maybe not in his human form, but most certainly in his other form, whatever it looked like. A part of me was curious to find out. But asking him, right here and now, to show me, would be stupid. And dangerous. Maybe some other time …

There was an air of superiority around him, something he didn’t posses before. The boy I knew, well the boy I used to know, had been easygoing, always wearing a smile. This Jacob was different, though. More mature, tough and serious. Like he’d seen some very disturbing things and had trouble dealing with it.

The sunny personality was gone, replaced by bitterness and anger.

My heart ached for him. Something told me that he didn’t choose this. This change was forced upon him. The same way it was forced on my mate and my vampire friends.

Sometimes, life really was unfair.

“Hey, Jake.” I greeted him, slowly descending the stairs. I wisely stopped when I reached the bottom.

I could tell that Rose was shadowing me. Hell, the air was practically sizzling from all the tension. And being smack right in the centre of it was downright unpleasant. It made the hair on my arms stand up. But I did my best not to show my discomfort.

“What is she doing here?” Jacob demanded to know, going like the bull at the gate. His eyes were trained on Rose. It almost looked like he wasn’t even blinking.

“Wow. Becoming a werewolf certainly did a number on your manners. You used to be nice and polite. Your father must be really proud of you.” I knew I was goading him, but I couldn’t help myself. I was pissed that he treated me like I wasn’t even there. And I wanted to draw his attention away from Rose.

“Leave my Dad out of this!” Jake growled. Clearly, I struck a nerve. But my ruse was working. Somewhat. “I came here because I had to see it for myself. Sam told me. But I didn’t believe him. How can you do it?”

“What? Hanging around with my friend?” I replied, playing dumb.

“Is that what you are?” Jake sneered at Rose. “Her friend?”

“Well, I wasn’t before. But I hope I can be in time.” She replied honestly.

“You already are.” I assured her with words and a light bump against her shoulder.

“Good to know.” Rose replied with a smile in her voice.

“They cannot be your friends, Bella. They eat people like you for breakfast.” Jake argued, very loudly. Thankfully our immediate neighbors were on the vacation and the next house in earshot was occupied by Mrs. Larson, an old lady who was deaf. Otherwise this could get really awkward. Well, more awkward than it already was.

“I doubt that.” I rejected his implication with a snort, facing my vampire friend. “Rose, what did you have for breakfast?”

“Nothing yet. But Emmett is taking me bear hunting later.”

I smirked at her response. I was glad that she was playing along. But I could tell that she was still very uncomfortable. As blunt as Rose could be, she was also vigilant. They all were. They had to be. One false step, one wrong word and everything they had managed to achieve thus far could be lost. Not that I wasn’t careful too. But even after everything I’ve been through, I realized that holding back and keeping quiet wasn’t the way to accomplish things. So maybe I was a bit careless, a bit irrational, but I simply couldn’t go back. The old Bella died the day Edward left me alone in the woods. This was the new me and I liked her. Not to mention that the old me didn’t have Jasper. But that was another story. 

“I can’t believe you. Have you forgotten what they did to you?” Jacob spat, his voice cold with fury. I didn’t know what exactly he was referring to, but I could venture a guess. I didn’t remember much of that night. I only knew that Sam was the one who finally found me. But maybe there were other wolves out there too, maybe even Jacob. That might explain a few things. But still, he had no right to come here and yell at me or Rose. 

“No, I haven’t.” I snapped back. “And I probably never will. But I forgave them.”

“You forgave them? Are you insane?”

“Maybe.” I conceded with a shrug. I had to be a little bit crazy. Not because I was still able to put my trust in the people who left me once, high and dry, but because I allied myself with creatures who were – in theory – my natural enemies. Only someone not quite right in the head would make that decision. Or someone with a very open mind, who didn’t condemn people because of prejudice and fear. “They are my friends. Period. Nothing you say will ever change my mind.”

“I don’t know you anymore.” Jacob exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Maybe you never really did …” I remarked, gloomily.

Jacob stared at me in stunned silence. Even without Jasper’s gift I could tell that my last comment hurt him. But it was the truth. Sure, we knew each other since early childhood, but we’ve never been real close. And after I moved away with my mom, we didn’t stay in touch. And when I came here on holidays, I spent most of the time with my dad. I’ve rarely ever seen Jacob on those rare occasions.

The silence was suddenly broken by a loud ringing cell phone. It was Rosalie’s. She swiftly pulled it out and scanned the screen, before answering it on the third ring.

“Kate, I’m glad you’re returning my call. But your timing sucks.” She greeted the caller, winking at me. I chuckled.

“Calling for reinforcement?” Jacob scoffed, shifting his weight from one foot to his other.

“Jake, use your brain. She is receiving a call, not making one.” I huffed, slowly but surely losing my patience with him. I was done explaining myself. Maybe I would have had a better chance if Rose hadn’t been here. Her presence certainly was the driving force behind his hostile behavior. But on the other hand, going by the way he was treating me, it probably wouldn’t have made any difference if we were alone. He was making it very clear that my alliance with his enemies was a huge thorn in his side. And nothing I’d say would ever change his mind. Something, we had in common.

I didn’t catch much of the conversation Rosalie was having with Kate. Only a word here and there. She was talking way too quickly for me to follow. But Jake seemed to get every word. His eyes were fixed on Rosalie, his demeanor darkening further with each passing second. He seemed to have trouble keeping his muscles under control, the way he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“Okay, we will see you in two days.” Rose agreed with whatever Kate was saying, ending the call.

“Did you just invite more vampires to come here?” Jake snarled. His voice was laced with disbelieve, shaking with anger. Or was it his body?

“I did.” Rose verified, evenly.

“Why?”

“Because we need help.”

“With what?”

“Protecting Bella.”

“The pack can do that.”

“Doubtful.” Rose snorted.

“Don’t underestimate us, leech.” Jake growled.

“You are just pups.”

“I can take you.”

“Highly unlikely.”

Following the ping-pong conversation was starting to hurt my neck. Not to mention, that this was getting out of hand, and fast.

“Cut it out. The both of you.” I yelled, trying to put myself between them. But Rose stepped in front of me, effectively blocking my way. I did my best to push past her, but naturally I failed miserably. She was like a stone wall, solid and unyielding.

And then something unbelievably mind-boggling happened. Sure, technically, I knew he was a werewolf, but my brain still a hard time processing it.

Everything seemed to happen at once. Jacob’s entire body began to shake uncontrollably, his shape becoming blurry and fuzzy. I heard fabric get torn. And a shoe flew across the yard, like a curve ball, landing on roof of the porch. How was I gonna explain this to Charlie? And then there was a huge, russet wolf standing in the very spot where Jacob had just been moments ago. He was growling like crazy, baring his razor-sharp teeth at Rose and me, clearly ready to attack.

I gapped at him in stunned silence.

 

\+ + + + +

 

Jasper POV

 

“It’s Jacob. He is with Bella. And he just … he just lost it.”

The moment those words had escaped Paul’s mouth, I was gone. Literally and figuratively. I didn’t hang around for any further elaboration on the subject, if there was more. All I knew and cared about was that my mate was in danger. Maybe even hurt. I had to get to her. Right the fuck now.

Driven by fear I frantically tore through the woods, with Emmett hot on my heels. I could sense that the wolves were following us as well. Not in order to stop us, but to stop Jacob. Or at least that’s what I hoped. For their sakes. Anyone who’d try and stop me would have to deal with my wrath. I wouldn’t show any sign of leniency, consequences be damned.

The wolves were very fast, but not as fast as us vampires. Maybe because I purposely used their urgency to feed mine and Emmett’s thus allowing us to run faster than usual, but maybe they were always at a disadvantage in that particular area. It was hard to tell. But for now it didn’t matter. I simply took it for what it was. A lucky circumstance. Better we’d arrive at the scene first than the wolves.

When I finally made it to Bella’s house, I didn’t stop to take a breather and bask in the fact that Bella was unharmed. Nor did I take the time to thank Rose that she was using her body to shield Bella from the russet wolf snarling at them, who was slowly but surely closing the distance between them. I simply pushed the wolf out of the way, rejoicing at the sharp sound of cracking bones. He was hurt, but not completely incapacitated. But I didn’t care, one way or the other. I simply swept up my mate, pulled her into my arms and ran into the house. Rose and Emmett followed us.

The wolves arrived soon after. Fortunately for them, and us, they stayed right outside. And despite the fact that I couldn’t see them I could tell that there was a fight going on. Well, more of an argument. The growling and howling peaked for a few moments and then it was silent, except for the whimpering sound, most likely coming from Jacob. I didn’t pay them any more attention, for the moment. Clearly, Sam had the situation under control. 

I walked into the living room and carefully set Bella down on her feet. Obviously disoriented by the sudden relocation, she swayed a bit. I kept my arms around her to hold her steady, slowly guiding her towards the couch. She sat down without an invitation. I kneeled in front of her, grasping her hands in mine.

“Jasper?” Bella breathed, staring at me in wonder. Clearly, she was still a bit confused and rattled, but otherwise she was fine. Thank God. Her heart was thumping pretty fast, but that could mean a lot of things. Fear, shock, my mere presence …

“I’m sorry if I startled you, Darlin’. But I had to get you away from him. You are safe now.” I assured her, placing a kiss on each of her hands. Then I stood up.

“Where are you going?” She asked, reaching for me, desperately.

“I have to go back out there. Wrap things up. Please stay here with Rose and Emmett. It won’t take long, I promise.” I gently squeezed her hand in comfort. But apparently it wasn’t enough.

“Jacob … I need to …” She tried to get up, but I stopped her. 

“You will stay here.” I instructed, leaving no room for discussion.

Bella let go of my hand as if my touch was burning her. Which wasn’t possible, physically. 

I cringed at her reaction. For once her shield was down completely and I was assaulted by the strengths of her emotions. I almost toppled over. She was angry with me. Very angry and disappointed. And rightfully so. Giving her an order, not letting her finish her sentence, was rude but necessary. I would be lying if her concern for the mutt wasn’t bothering me. It did. But it wasn’t the main reason why I did what I did. I knew she was strong and smart. But she was still just a human, therefore vulnerable. A fact she seemed to forget sometimes. And even though the threat has been averted, thanks to Sam, and me, I still didn’t want her around the wolves. At least not yet.

I could have stayed and explained myself, but I didn’t. Instead I turned my back on her and left the house. I would have to pay for my rude behavior later, I knew that. But for now I had to set things straight with the two wolves still remaining in her yard.

Sam was already waiting for me at the edge of the woods. He was wearing a different pair of shorts this time. Clearly, he had to borrow them after shredding his own, probably from the brown wolf sitting next to him.

“Paul took Jacob home.” The Alpha stated the obvious, adding, “And he will not come back here again.”

I was more than glad to hear that. But I wasn’t able to make any promises that I wouldn’t do anything if he did. Speaking of promises. Sam’s words sounded more than a simple promise. They sounded and felt like a done deal. I didn’t question him, taking his words at face value. Clearly, there was more to Sam’s authority than meets the eye. But as much as I appreciated his heartfelt words, I also knew that whatever went down here in my brief absence, things had changed.

“I guess my proposition is off the table?” I presumed.

“I don’t think it would be wise under the circumstances.” Sam admitted with a grim expression.

I could sense that he was still willing to help us. But unless his whole pack was behind him one hundred percent, he wasn’t going to take a chance, because it would mean risking his position as leader. He probably only became the Alpha by circumstance, not because he earned it. I understood the precarious position he was in. And I couldn’t blame him for choosing his pack over us. After all, we were their enemies.

“But I promise we will not get in your way. And if we find this Laurent again we will make short work of him.” The Alpha vowed.

“Good.” I nodded, gravely. It was more than we could expect, given the circumstances.

Sam cocked his head, scrutinizing me from top to bottom. I could tell that he was anxious, and curious. He chose his next words very carefully. “How long will you stay in Forks?”

‘Ah, finally, gathering some intel. Smart move, boy.’

“I don’t know how long my family is planning to stay. But I’m not going to leave this town anytime soon.”

“It’s Bella, isn’t it? You’re staying here because of her.” It was a statement, not a question. “She means a lot to you.”

“She means a lot to all of us.” I deflected, to no avail.

“But she means a lot to you personally.” Sam pressed. I admired his gumption.

“Yes. She is my mate.” I confessed. I didn’t know if he knew what that meant. But going by the knowing smile spreading all over his face, he knew exactly what I was talking about. Perhaps he had a mate, too, but I didn’t ask.

“I’m glad she’s doing better.”

“She is.” I confirmed. Maybe not right now, considering I just managed to piss her off, big-time, but generally speaking, he was right. She was doing better. Which was still a miracle considering what had happened the night Edward left her. “I know you were the one who found Bella in the woods. You have my deepest gratitude for saving her that night.”

Sam merely smiled in response, but I could feel his pride, and his happiness. For the both of us. We might be on opposite sides, theoretically, but when it came down to our mates we were the same. Damn lucky, possessive, and utterly protective men.

“Tell Bella even though she probably isn’t welcomed at the Black’s anymore, she can still count on me and the rest of the pack. At least as long as she’s human …”

The message came through loud and clear. Sam knew that sooner or later I would change Bella. It was inevitable. And even though that deed would be in violation of our treaty I was certain he wouldn’t stop me. And he probably would do his best to convince the rest of his tribe to do the same. But it was the only leeway he was going to give us. We would have to leave Forks, for good this time. Which was only fair, all things considered.

“Thank you.”

Sam nodded once. Clearly, he was done. He’d said everything he had to say. Without another word he turned and disappeared into the woods. The brown wolf spared me one final look, before following his Alpha’s lead.

I took a deep, unnecessary breath.

‘One crisis averted. On to the next …’

 

\+ + + + +

 

Bella POV

 

I simply watched Jasper leave.

What else could I do? It was obvious from his tone of voice and the resolute look on his face that there was no point arguing with him. He didn’t want me to go with him.

I was hurt. Hurt and angry. How could he do that? Pull an ‘Edward’ on me, after I told him how much I hated being treated like the weak link?

Forget angry. I was furious. Sure, a part of me understood why Jasper did what he did. Getting me out of harm’s way, making sure I was safe. And I appreciated his concern. But the bigger part of me, the new me, didn’t appreciate being sidelined. I might not do well in a fight, but that didn’t mean I was completely useless. I still had a voice, an opinion. And with three vampires to protect me, I was as safe as houses. Hell, with Jasper alone I wasn’t in any danger. But he just shut me off.

“Jacob left with one of the others.” Rose told me, clearly sensing I needed some reassurance. Not that I thought that Jasper was going to hurt Jake. But it was nice of her to let me know that my friend was safe. Well, former friend, now. The way he reacted there was no doubt in my mind that our friendship, however superficial it had been, was over.

“Uh-huh.” I huffed, getting on my feet.

“Where are you going?” She asked, putting herself in my way. I liked her. I really did. But pulling the same shit Jasper just did, didn’t sit well with me. I glared at her.

“I’m going into the kitchen, to finish my dinner, if you don’t mind.” I snapped.

She flinched ever so slightly but let me pass. And thankfully, neither she nor Emmet followed me. As much as I liked hanging around with them, I didn’t want company right now.

I turned on the oven again. I wasn’t particularly in the mood to cook, but I needed a distraction. I snatched up the plate of salad and went over to the window. I looked outside, but I couldn’t see anything. I strained my ears, but I couldn’t pick up anything. A part of me was glad. As long as there was no shouting, no growling, no body parts flying through the air, everything was alright.

Leaning against the counter I quickly finished my salad. I might have lost my appetite, but I was still hungry. And I knew I would probably need the strength later. Arguing with Jasper. Or doing something else. No, definitely not. There wasn’t going to be any kissing, or snuggling, or anything along that line, until I made him understand how much he’d pissed me off.

The water just began to boil, when Jasper returned. He didn’t come to me first, but went straight into the living room. I could hear him talking to Rose and Emmett. Again I didn’t catch much. Damn vampires. But I could hear him telling them to return to the Cullen mansion and fill in Char and Peter on all the things that happened, here and in the woods. Naturally they both complied with his order without putting up a fuss. With a little too much force I threw the spaghetti into the water.

“See you, Bella.” Emmett hollered from the hall, sounding like his usual self, easygoing and carefree. I couldn’t tell if he was faking it or not.

“Bye, Bella. I will have your truck back here in the morning.” Rose promised. She certainly wasn’t hiding her concern. 

“Thanks.” I mumbled, knowing she could hear me loud and clear.

I felt bad for showing her the cold shoulder, literally and figuratively. It wasn’t her fault I was upset. Well, okay, maybe a little bit. Pushing Jake’s buttons hasn’t been a good decision, but then again, I wasn’t completely free of guilt either. We were both to blame for him losing his temper and flying off the handle. But agreeing with Jasper, well that fact didn’t sit well with me.

Did they all think I was completely helpless? Come to think of it, Peter was the only one who had complete confidence in me, who didn’t think I was just a silly, defenseless human. And he barely knew me. I shook my head in bewildered frustration. Would I ever be able to convince the rest of them that Peter was right?

The front door opened and closed, and then we were alone. I kept stirring the sauce and the spaghetti, purposely ignoring my mate. Or at least I tried. Hearing him coming back down the hall, I simply couldn’t help myself but turn around to face him. Like a moth to the flame …

“I know you are mad at me, Isabella.” Jasper leaned against the door frame, all cool and casual. I wanted to smack him. Or kiss him. I wasn’t sure. Damn him and his undeniable sex appeal. It took some effort, but I managed to stay where I was. “And I will leave if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” I told him. Maybe a bit too quick, but so sue me. “I just need some time and space.”

“Very well. Finish your dinner. I’ll be in the living room when you are ready to talk.” He sounded all nonchalant but I could tell he was very glad I didn’t throw him out, even though he was obviously dreading our ‘talk’.

‘Good. Serves him right.’ I thought to myself, regretting it almost at once.

Torturing Jasper didn’t feel right. In fact, it felt all wrong. Ignoring him, telling him to give me space, was hard, especially when all I wanted was to throw myself in his arms. But I did my best to stifle those particular feelings. This wasn’t about punishment. I needed to make a point.

“Thanks.” I said, offering him a small smile. He answered with one of his own and a nod, before turning around and making his way into the living room.

With a sigh I refocused on my dinner, making quick work of draining the spaghetti and pulling the sauce from the stove. After filling a plate with a medium size portion I sat down at the table and ate. Usually I loved this dish, even though it was nothing special. But today it tasted kinda bland, probably because I lost my appetite. I ate up nevertheless.

I could hear Jasper turning on the TV, flipping through the channels for a few moments before finally stopping when he found something he liked. The history channel. Sometimes he was so predictable. I loved that about him.

I wanted to pick up my plate and join him. But I didn’t. Caving in so soon, would send the wrong signal. It would prove once again that I was too weak. So, again, I pushed my inner desires aside, and stayed put.

But it hurt, being apart, even though it was just a room between us. I couldn’t see Jasper, but something told me, that he was feeling the same.

Aching, yearning, and utterly anxious.

My shield, or whatever, was up. I still had no idea how it worked. But I knew it was somehow connected to my emotions. Whenever they ran high, it simply dropped, just like that, without me doing anything. Or at least, that’s how it felt. I knew it happened earlier. Just for a few moments, but it was enough. My empath got hit full force.

A part of me was glad. Because he knew how much his actions had hurt me. But the other part wanted to apologize, for hurting him. Being the target of such powerful and negative emotions had to be agonizingly painful, even for a vampire.

So, clearly we had a lot to talk about and time was running short. My Dad was going to be home soon. Sure, I could just hide Jasper in my bedroom, but this would also defeat the purpose. I knew that once I had him in my room, where my bed was, we wouldn’t do anything but talking. I couldn’t have that. Not yet anyway.

I just finished washing up the dishes and stowing away the leftover pasta for my Dad, when our landline rang again.

“Swan residence.”

“It’s me, again, Bells.”

“Dad?” I was surprised. We just talked. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, everything is fine. Don’t fret. Billy just called me. He says he could use some company tonight. Something about teenage trouble. You know how it is.” He jabbed. I rolled my eyes, and apparently he could hear that. “Sorry, parent’s prerogative. So, anyway, I’m going to head over to La Push after my shift. I’ll probably even spend the night there. You gonna be okay without me?”

“Yes, Dad. I think I will be alright for one night.” I huffed. Sure, I had no right to feel annoyed with him. After all, I wasn’t alone right now. And if things went right, I would have company for the entire night. Really great company and the best protector there was. But getting the same treatment from my father touched a sore point.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Charlie hurried to apologize. “I know you are old enough to take care of yourself. In fact, in our family you are the one who takes care of everybody else.”

“That’s not true.” I countered, smiling. He had a point there.

“You know it is.” My Dad replied, sounding both proud and guilty.

“Maybe,” I conceded, feeling the urgent need the change the subject before getting all weepy. “As I said, I will be alright. You have fun in La Push. Say hi to Billy from me.”

“I will.” He promised. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.” I said, hanging up.

A part of me wondered if Billy just invited my Dad to get him out of harm’s way. Not that it was necessary. Jasper wold never hurt my Dad. But his sudden need to see Charlie was anything but a coincidence. On the other hand, why look a gift horse in the mouth? Apparently fate, or whatever, was on my side, giving me the opportunity to do what I needed to. To take my time talking to Jasper … and do some other stuff. Maybe. Later. First things first.

Squaring my shoulders, I left the kitchen and went into the living room. Jasper was lounging on the sofa, all casually, like he belonged there. Why did he have to make it so difficult for me?

“I guess you heard everything.” I said, trying my best to sound all business. But apparently it wasn’t working. At least not completely.

“I did.” He affirmed with a devilish grin. “You have the place all to yourself. No parental supervision. What are your plans?”

Damn him. This was going to be harder than I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: How about some lemony goodness?


End file.
